Aunty Bella: Miss. Unrequited Love

Aunty Bella is our  agony aunt column on BellaNaija. We launched this column in the early days of BN and periodically feature issues sent in by BN readers. We hope the BN family can offer insightful advice.

A BellaNaijarian left this Aunty Bella letter as a comment on a recent post.

Please encourage her and share any advice.

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Please could you make this a post so that I could get the views of BN fam. Please don’t judge me about this post. There is a guy I really like and I don’t know how to get him off my mind so that I can move on for good. I think it’s a case of unrequited love. I felt a strong connection with him the first time we met but we didn’t exchange contacts. Later on, I got his number online and contacted him only because I felt the connection was mutual. He was at first sceptical about how I got the number but later relaxed and sounded as if he was happy I reached out. We became friends again but the problem is we are nothing more. We only chat once in a while and although he says I can call him anytime I am bored and feel like talking, I don’t because I felt it’s kind of awkward since he hasn’t even bothered to call not even once and I feel like I imposed the friendship on him.

Anyway, I know it doesn’t make sense but the problem is I can’t seem to get him off my mind. I am not getting any younger, almost 30 but I feel like he is my dream guy. But since he isn’t reciprocating I am trying to let it go and forget about him. I just don’t know how to. I know I am not bad to look at and I have had some guys I didn’t like going almost psycho on me in the name of crush/love. I sincerely felt a connection so I just don’t get why he wouldn’t reciprocate but there are many reasons – he could have a girlfriend already or even be married as he lives abroad.

I have grown tired of being single, settling for wrong relationships and I have almost given up on love and marriage because I hardly get toasters anymore. I am bored with my job and have been tempted to quit several times, but it is taking me places so i shouldn’t complain. I am pissed off at my married boss who has persistently harassed me sexually and manipulates me emotionally.  I am also pissed off that I didn’t have the courage to tell him off face-to-face and assert my stand instead I told him over messages and keep bearing his passive aggressiveness, and calling him a mentor for the sake of my job.

I don’t know what my passion is anymore. I just don’t have so much zest as when I was much younger. I try to volunteer in church and serve so that gives me some fulfilment. I am in a good place most times but sometimes I just feel overwhelmed with these issues and relapse into an unhappy state.

Please help!

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