Jane Michael Ekanem: 5 Ways to Control the Crowd at Your Nigerian Wedding

Having your wedding should be a fun memorable time of your life, with your loved ones and well-wishers in attendance as you begin the rest of your life with your partner. What you do not want however is a wedding & reception venue packed full with people falling over themselves to get a seat or the food not going round; trust me people will remember that kind of wedding for a long time to come.

Most of the time we think crowd control is impossible at weddings especially in Nigeria; both mothers will be inviting their entire women’s meeting members and the dads, the gentlemen from the club. There are also the extended families, co-workers, friends from school, good neighbours and the others to invite.

Oh there’s also the likelihood of 30% uninvited guests that has to be considered here, but who says you have to? Having a limited number of guests isn’t just about budget management , but also about how much friends and family you really want; you can still have a big wedding with just the number you can deal with. Here are five ways you can control the crowd at your wedding.

DECIDE JUST HOW MANY
It is a known truth that sending out invites can be more tasking than anticipated, especially with situations like, “Uncle Bola that has been so good to us, haba won’t you invite him?” Not everyone has to be at your wedding because frankly between you, your partner and both families, you all know too many people who may want to come, but should they all be invited? No!

You need a sit down with your family to decide how many guests invitations are allotted to each one of you, both parents and siblings. If it is a matter of sharing costs, be candid about it; but just because mom and dad are contributing doesn’t mean they can bring the entire community to YOUR wedding.

HAVE YOUR GUESTS RSVP
That footnote at the end of the invitation cards people receive? Yes. RSVP.

Many people do not think much of it here but anybody who has ever planned a wedding can tell you how important a punctual RSVP is. From organizing the seating chart to giving your caterer or planner the final head count, it is difficult to make actual arrangements if you do not know for sure who is coming.

Unfortunately your guests will perceive it as a novelty rather than a necessity, so try to help them see the importance. How to deal with that, ensure that you tell them to RSVP, give them some time and then have someone send out emails or call them. You can also have parents and siblings get their RSVPs too; and it would make the guests feel special when you reach out to them too.

ADDRESS YOUR INVITATIONS SPECIFICALLY
You cannot say you want to streamline your guest list and send an invite addressed to ‘The Johnsons’; that’s a whole bunch of Johnsons if you ask me. Make out your invitations to the particular people you are inviting. You can establish the understanding that for whatever limitations there are, your wedding requires a strict guest list, so your invitation admits a guest with their significant other and maybe one extra person. Including info about whether children (not younger than a certain age range if you like) are allowed on your invitation can go a long way too.

Tell your family as well so they can respond appropriately when asked and also explain if you have to confirm the RSVPs. The earlier they know how many a card admits, the less hurt feelings there will be; especially if you explain nicely enough.

Let’s be honest here, there will always be tag-alongs and wedding crashers, not much you can do about that so you also have to plan for those. While careful planning could significantly improve your chances of having the wedding that you want guest-wise, there will always be a little percentage of extras; a lot less now that you have a handle on your guests. The best you can do is handle them with grace; your caterer and planner would know how. So have a fun experience planning and have an amazing memorable wedding!

PUT SECURITY IN PLACE
You can never be too secure about having your wedding plans go without a hitch, so chances are you might need a little extra reinforcement. Weddings are usually by invitations and more often than not, strictly so. While sentiments are bound to come into play on special days like this, you have to bear in mind that the smooth sail of your wedding is the ultimate goal.

Have a security company assist in controlling the crowd at your wedding. Invitees can be crosschecked at the main entrance before the doors to the hall, to avoid rowdiness and flare of tempers within earshot of your actual guests; and believe me there will be drama in these cases. Uninvited guests just need to be politely turned away and there is never a time too late to learn a valuable lesson.

CONSIDER HAVING AN AFTER PARTY
An after party has become a growing trend because it’s a chance to offer a more relaxed environment after the formality and tradition of a wedding reception. This would help control the wave of guests and give you a chance to really have fun with your friends especially if it’s the traditional, a long guest list is inevitable for you. This means you can end your reception early, there’s a good consideration of the older and younger crowd. You can give access cards to younger guests that lets them in at a particular time, after the older guests have gone.

To keep the costs under control, you can select the beverages and specific food you want available ahead of time, unless of course you want to give a free rein on the premium alcohol.

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Let’s be honest here, there will always be tag-alongs and wedding crashers, not much you can do about that so you also have to plan for those. While careful planning could significantly improve your chances of having the wedding that you want guest-wise, there will always be a little percentage of extras; a lot less now that you have a handle on your guests. The best you can do is handle them with grace; your caterer and planner would know how. So have a fun experience planning and have an amazing memorable wedding!

Photo Credit: © Pxhidalgo | Dreamstime.com – Portrait Of Emotional Bride | AkinTayoTimi for BellaNaija Weddings