Life Hacks With Toby: Lessons For Teenagers (Part II)

Last time, I started a series on “lessons all teenagers should learn before becoming adults”. This is the sequel. If you missed the first part, go here.

Straight to it, here are six other lessons I believe all teenagers should learn before becoming adults. Some of them are highly opinionated, while others are things I just wish someone taught me earlier.

Well, like I said the last time in the first part, you will still find the lessons interesting even if you are not a teenager. So let’s jump right in:

Sex Education 2
For Girls: Romance Novels are not the best way to learn about love.
Maybe you are a ‘huge fan’ of Mills and Boon and the rest of them. Of course I am not about to tell you not to read your romance novels if that is your best way to relax after a hard day.

However it would do you a world of good to know that the characters in those novels are fictitious.

All those biceps, the dreamy eyes, the sexy lips, the deep voice and all that sexiness attached to one man who would love you to the moon and back, and worship the ground you walk on and…seriously?

Such men exist…but majorly on the moon.

I once asked my cousin if she would agree to marry someone like her brother and she reacted vehemently against it. I told her frankly that the dude she is probably in love with is just like her brother, that there is no difference.

Yeah, we are all almost the same; durrh.

So please get down from the high horse and accept these men around as human beings because that’s what they are: mere humans.

The best way to see men is to see them just like that annoying brother of yours. Aren’t you surprised that a girl in her right thinking mind will fall in love with someone like your obnoxious, sweaty, hairy brother?

Haha, I caught you right there.

These men are not different, no, not even the love of your life.

Basic Car Maintenance
Driving a car is wonderful, but you will need to wash it. There is nothing attractive about a dirty car.

Also please try and check your oil level and the level of the water in your radiator before you zoom off with your friends.

And of course make sure your trunk has a spare tyre, jack, wheel spanner, and fire extinguisher in it. Don’t worry, you will find them extremely useful one day.

You can thank me when that day comes.

Do your own laundry
You can no longer be sending your dirty clothes to your mom to wash for you. Please give the poor woman a break. Giving birth to you and raising you is not her life’s purpose.

The earlier you learn to do your own laundry, the better for us all. Soon enough, you will become a parent, which means you will also have baby clothes to wash.

Thank God for the advance in technology, so washing machines are easy to get now. However, you still need to know how to starch and spread your clothes after washing and drying them. And you may also need to iron them yourself.

Don’t hate me, someone had to say it. (whistling and making faces at you).

There is no runner-up price in life
I know how competitions work: the best person is always rewarded bountifully. And then the ones following, called runners-up, are rewarded in some way.

Can I shock you? It is not like that in real life.

In life, the winner takes it all. It’s too bad, right? I agree, but remember last week’s lesson 3: Life is not fair.

So please strive for excellence. Be your best in anything you do. Many times, it will make you the best and thus, the winner. Other times it won’t, but you will always be satisfied that you gave it your best shot.

Life is not a bed of roses
I understand that you have so many wishes and ‘dreams’ in life. I understand, because I also used to have these ‘dreams’.

You know; dreams about how you finished school and immediately got a managerial job in a multinational company with a #3,500,000 monthly pay, 35 hour work-week, a Toyota Prado Jeep as an official car, and two exotic vacations abroad, and….

I am sure you get the picture. Thinking about it now makes me laugh.

The truth is that it could happen; after all, dreams come true. But the chance of these ‘dreams’ of yours coming to pass for this naija wey we dey is less than 0.0001%, unless of course your father is living in Aso Rock, or you are Dangote’s daughter.

‘Inai mean’?

So please go back and take the waiter job you threw away last week. Or you can apply to be a hairdresser in the salon down the street, because even though you deserve better (of course you do, no kidding) you need to start somewhere and move up.

Life is not a Movie
I remember when I watched the seasonal movie 24 sometime in 2010. I was amazed at how Jack Bauer managed to solve every problem/ crack every code that comes up, and then save the day in exactly 24 hours.

Well, guess what? That thing is called a movie because it is not real. Yes, things don’t happen like that in real life.

Life is not a sitcom where everything ends merrily in 30 minutes. And of course there are no breaks or commercials for you in real life.

Do you have any problem presently? Get your ass up from the couch, switch off the television and try to solve your own problems. And lest I forget, it may take you a lot more than 24 hours to solve them.

No kidding!

Your Turn
What do you think about this sequel? Are there other life lessons you think I should add? Please add yours in the comment section below. The concluding part will be coming up next week. Try not to miss it. as we will be talking about relationships and finances.

And if you liked this, please share it on Facebook, Twitter, or on Google plus as usual. You can follow me on Facebook (‘Toby Nwazor) and Twitter too (@TobyNwazor)

Cheers!

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