#BN2016Epilogues: Of Abortions, Friends & 2nd Chances! How Mary* Got Through the Year

It’s that time of the year when members of the BellaNaija community come together to bond over shared experiences in the last 12 months. As with the previous editions of this series, we put out a call for you to send us your stories. {Click here if you missed it} To catch up on the first few stories this year, click HERE.

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January – October 2016
Started on a bright note just like every other year, so much happiness in the air; (fresh in my head just like yesterday). Then I got back to school, and started my whole normal routine with my friends – school, church, home. My life was a triangle, nothing eventful.

Fast forward to November 2016. It was unarguably the worst month of my life. I’ve tried to write this particular part more than four times and I always end up in tears. I couldn’t have gone through a worse ordeal.By the second week of November, I started noticing certain changes in my body, I started peeing like 20 times in a day. Then, I told my best friend that I was peeing frequently and I was disturbed about it. She gave the suggestion that we should check symptoms for pregnancy. Out of about 20 symptoms I was only experiencing one(frequent peeing). So she said it’s not pregnancy, since it was the peeing- no boob pain or anything.

The next day, my friend advised that I should take a pregnancy test. She got two test kits. I peed into the kit, closed my eyes praying it will turn out negative. I opened my eyes after 1 minute. Right there my world crumbled, I saw two red lines, extremely bold lines. I could not believe it, I took the second test, right there in my heart I knew it was finished, two red lines stared at me again. I couldn’t shed tears; at the moment I started laughing. I felt like I was going mad(did I mention that I had exams the next day) All that kept ringing in my head was “you’re finished” – because I knew I couldn’t keep the baby and I wasn’t ready to have an abortion.

We came to the conclusion that I was going to have an abortion. Never have I been so scared in my entire life…two days after I found out I was pregnant, I started having the feeling of broody. I was contemplating if I should keep the baby or not. At that time, I got my period; I was happy the test kit was gave a false reading… blah blah blah and I took the test again. Lo and behold, it was positive again. Fear was in my face again…I was scared, menstruating and pregnant. I searched Google, I started seeing different results. I saw something about an ectopic pregnancy. I wanted to run mad. After consistent bleeding for three days, I knew I had to do the abortion fast. I didn’t want any complications.

The man that got me pregnant didn’t even care that I was pregnant. Lord I shed those tears I couldn’t find. My friend always consoled me saying; “Men think with their penis” … I believed her that day, I decided to be strong for myself because I knew I had to look out for me and only me.

Fast forward to abortion day.
My friends and I decided to pray for grace. We know we had committed a big sin (we already planned and finished the abortion in our heads). I remember the song I sang that day while asking for grace in tears
Ore -ofe sha, ni’gbekele mi
Jesu kun fun araye
O kun fun mi pelu.
I kept on singing this particular song.

I walked into the small hospital, gripped by fear all over. We went to the room where the abortion would be done, when I saw the instruments – I wanted to drop dead. One big ass scissors and the rest. She said something after she opened my vagina using one of the instruments; “You had a miscarriage already, I’ll just have to remove the remains of the foetus”. She said it would not take long, I was low-key happy that I wouldn’t be here for long. She inserted one of those things into my vagina and started the process.The pain was indescribable. I don’t even know how to describe it. Mad excruciating pain…tears fell down my face. I regretted every pleasure I went through that got to this pain. After 15 minutes of pain, it was finally over. The STORM was over. I consider it a storm.

Then I got home, used drugs and recovered. The man I considered as my boyfriend neglected me. There was not even a call to check if I was recovering or nah. My world crumbled again. I was totally heartbroken. Heartbroken is an understatement; but thank God for friends. Whenever I count my blessings, I count you all twice. I couldn’t have asked for better friends, who stood by me, all the way to the end.

I learnt lessons in the worst way this year. Currently, I’m happy and getting my steps with God. Enjoying every moment of my life…

Those of you that are curious about the boyfriend. We parted ways, and are never getting back together. I cannot look at past the hurt even if I tried to.

I know I have a better year ahead of me – where my relationship with God soars higher. I’m not looking for a relationship with man right now. That’s the last thing on mind, but I like a Man (I dunno if we will get together or nah, I’m not thinking about it). The Bible says “if sorrow tarries through the night, joy comes in the morning”
I have the best friends in the world. Friends like family who will never desert you…
Here’s to the 2017.
I wish you a merry and joyful Christmas and a happy and remarkable 2017 ahead.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime