Mrs Kush’s Men Empowerment Series: Thick Creamy Akamu

There will be no snazzy intro on this one folks. I will not be throwing subtle shade to anyone in the article either,  because my friends, making Adamu is a very sore area for me.

I have successfully made croissants from scratch, I know the techniques for turning cassava to Garri. I dare say I can make many native Nigerian soups soups as authentic as they come.

Akamu on the other hand is an area of personal shame for me. (I even know how to make said Akamu from fresh corn!) As a pap lover, this makes it all the more painful. I only get it right 50% of the time. When I do get it right, doing the exact same thing the next time doesn’t always guarantee the same result. A key factor I consider when I want to make pap is: is there light? Because if my pap turns watery I need the microwave to finish my incompetence.

Maybe I’m just not born to do it like Craig David. Anyway these are the steps I follow to make Pap. Please correct me because I am clearly doing something wrong.

Instructions

• Mix raw pap with a small quantity of water to form a thick paste
• Pour in boiling water and stir, cover it for a few minutes
• Pray to God the pap gets thick
• If it doesn’t, pop it in the microwave for a few minutes
• Nepa takes light in your area too? Grab a pot and cook it on low heat for a few extra minutes.
• Serve and enjoy with anything you fancy (EXCEPT milk, more on that later)

I will highlight my troubleshooting techniques below, as proof that I have taken this seriously and hopefully we can find a solution together for the sake of the erm… men.

• Mix the pap with small quantity of water to form a thick paste
• Mix the pap with small quantity of hot water to bring up the temperature of the paste
• Remove pap from fridge overnight, so that the coldness doesn’t affect my hot water
• Use a small quantity of hot water to pap paste ratio
• Use a large quantity of hot water to pap paste ratio

I have done all of these things sometimes a combination of 2 or 3 and I am not any closer to getting a permanent solution. It might sound like a joke but I promise you it isn’t.

Does anyone have the secret to making thick creamy pap 100% of the time? Please share.

On second thought, let me throw shikini shade to a special set of people. If you make pap and it has lumps abeg don’t compare yourself to me. Unlike you my inadequacies can be easily fixed in a microwave. You on the other hand would need a blender, a sieve and probably some lessons on how to use a blender and a sieve.
Love,

Mrs Kush.

Ps.

Pap is not baby food and it isn’t meant for the sick (How dare you even think that!). I love pap very much, and I am neither a baby nor sick. I however draw the line at adding milk I feel the same way about adding milk to Garri. It just doesn’t sit well with me. Maybe it’s the cheapskate in me manifesting but it never tastes good to me with milk. It is then and only then that I am inclined to agree that pap with milk actually tastes like baby food.