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Berry Dakara Shares the Lovely Story of her Journey to Becoming a Mom to Baby Cocoa

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In April 2016, I decided to shoot and post a video on my Youtube channel – it was titled “Trying to Conceive/Get Pregnant.”You see, from January 2015 until that point, my husband and I had been actively trying to start our family and start having children of our own. [Un]fortunately, we had not been successful. From trying different measures such as OPKs (ovulation prediction kits) to getting a medical procedure done (an IUI – intrauterine insemination, where sperm is inserted directly into the uterus by the doctor), it just wasn’t working. My spouse and I had both gotten checked, and there were no significant problems. I wondered whether there was some past sin that God was punishing me for. I had endured lots of different “advice” from people like, “You need to have more fun when you’re having sex,” to “My pastor blessed this handkerchief so put it under your bed to sleep,” to “My evangelist prayed for you and you have to sow a seed to get pregnant by the end of the year.” FYI, my response to all of them were blank stares and a straight face. I was even told that it was my fault we couldn’t seem to get pregnant because I didn’t follow someone’s advice. Oh, and let’s not forget the virtual stranger who told me she could see that I didn’t know how to pray. Again, blank stare.

Anyway, I had it on my heart to make the video about our struggle for a while before I actually went ahead and did it. Through our difficulties, I found out so many others were facing the same issue but couldn’t speak out about it. Because of our African culture of hiding problems, lots of women and couples are forced to suffer in silence. I can’t begin to tell you the number of emails and messages I received from women all over the world who were going through the same thing, and were relieved that there was someone speaking publicly about difficulties in conceiving. We comforted each other, prayed for each other, and some of them have even become more than just internet acquaintances. There were also so many others at different stages of life who reached out to lend their support and send good wishes and prayers my way.

I won’t lie, some of my family members and family friends weren’t too happy with the video. They were really concerned about me and thought I was depressed. Some couldn’t even finish the whole video. I had to remind them that I was fine, that I felt better after making the video, and that my purpose was to let other women in the same position know that there was nothing wrong with them, and that they shouldn’t feel ashamed or alone. Even though it was an emotionally raw video, I was fine and living my life, having fun and traveling. I held onto the knowledge that I would get pregnant eventually.

Sometime last summer, while my husband was back in Nigeria for a few weeks, while cleaning our bedroom, I felt God speaking to me. The message was that by the time I did get pregnant, I would know that it was truly by God’s power. I thanked Him for the message and carried on. The next few months were pretty tough on us – I really believe marriages are under attack by the way. At the end of October, in the middle of a particularly bad season, we decided to stop trying for a child and postpone it to 2017.

Virtually a month later though, something told me to check my period apps to confirm when to expect it. As someone who had gone 21 days late before, at first I didn’t pay particular mind to it. But I was reminded again, and the weekend after my period was supposed to have come, I decided to get a pregnancy test. My husband had just left Atlanta the day before to head back to Nigeria. At 5am while getting ready for work, I took the test and immediately… TWO LINES!!! I was in complete shock. I had to take a photo of the test and send to my husband to ask him what it meant. We agreed I’d take another test when I got to work, and I opted for a digital one because I wanted to see the result spelled out… it said PREGNANT!

Yup, I took 3 different tests to make sure!

I couldn’t believe it – How? In the middle of a very trying period in our marriage? After we had agreed to stop trying? And I remembered the word I got in the summer – When you get pregnant, you will know that it’s by my grace and power. God had finally answered our prayers! In fact, when I did the calculation, we conceived right after our decision to stop trying. It sounds cliche, but it happened to us!

The whole pregnancy journey was interesting to say the least. While I didn’t have the typical symptoms – morning sickness, nausea, cravings (well I wanted fried egg and ketchup for about 2 weeks) – immediately after I announced the pregnancy on my blog, I was admitted to the hospital with a high risk for preterm labor. From the beginning of April to near the end of June when I had the baby, I was on mandatory bed rest, which was quite taxing on my emotional. mental  and FINANCIAL wellbeing. I thank God for His provision o!

Flowers and gifts during my first admission at 6 months

Hospital Food

Bed rest

Mothers Day 2017 while on hospital admission again!

But at the end of the day, our precious gift came – the day after my baby shower!

Cakes, Berry and Cocoa = Baby shower cake! @Cakesiena

Baby Shower


Baby Cocoa, as I call her, came 5 weeks early and we’re still adjusting to parenthood – nobody prepared me o! She’s almost 3 months old now, and I go from staring at my beautiful baby to asking her when she will learn how to talk and tell me what she wants instead of yelling the house down :p. It’s not easy being a parent, but I’m looking forward to that superhuman strength that mothers seem to have.

I am so grateful for all the love, support and prayers that went up on our behalf from family, friends and virtual strangers online. As I’ve mentioned over and over again on social media, my name is Baridakara, and it means God answers prayer! Baby Cocoa’s Ogoni name is Karalee, and it means that Prayer is Good! To God be all the glory for His grace and testimony.

Berry Dakara is a Lifestyle blogger (http://berrydakara.blogspot.com) who shares her thoughts on anything and everything from marriage to friendships to faith, and other random topics. You can find her on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook - @berrydakara. She's also a weekly contributor to the African Naturalistas, a natural hair website and consultancy dedicated to teaching healthy hair care practices.

22 Comments

  1. MO

    September 6, 2017 at 12:38 pm

    He is God almighty and He is too faithful to fail!!!

  2. Olu

    September 6, 2017 at 12:43 pm

    Congratulations!!! God bless your beautiful family x Baby cocoa is gorgeous!

  3. Lin

    September 6, 2017 at 12:58 pm

    This GOD? He is the real MVP. GOD of awesome wonders!!!!! Always in awe of HIS Greatness!!

  4. TEMI TOPE

    September 6, 2017 at 1:09 pm

    GOD IS POWERFUL AND BELIEVE ME HE DOES HEAR ALL OUR REQUESTS. MY SISTER IS 46 AND AFTER 11 YEARS OF MARRIAGE SHE IS FINALLY PREGNANT.. I KNOW MANY WOULD SAY SHE IS OLD.. BUT.. BETTER NOW THAN NEVER. WE ALL ( SISTERS) HAD BABIES AND SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE.. SHE TRIED SO HARD WITH HER HUSBAND AND FINALLY GOD HAS COME.. SHE IS HAVING TWINS AND SHE DID IVF… SHE TRIED FOR SO LONG.. I AM VERY HAPPY FOR HER.
    CONGRATULATIONS TO DAKARA AND HER HUSBAND AND MAY GOD BLESS THAT BABY GIRL.

    • Corolla

      September 6, 2017 at 10:54 pm

      Congrats to Berry and your sister!

  5. Carina

    September 6, 2017 at 1:17 pm

    God is marvelous!
    Berry’s baby is adorable.

    @Temi Tope… Your sister will delivery safely in Jesus name. God has done it!

  6. *rme

    September 6, 2017 at 1:45 pm

    Yes!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so happy for you. Like I have tears in my eyes happy. MWAH mwah. God bless you and your family. I can’t imagine what you went through. God is so great. Congratulations ?

  7. Baby gurl

    September 6, 2017 at 2:00 pm

    With a name like Berry of course the daughter has to be Cocoa. Amazing names oh Gaaad! Thank God for God’s grace and love and mercy in your lives. This is a testament to the fact that he does not sleep nor slumber. He hears us, sees us, cares for us. God bless y’all.

  8. Mee

    September 6, 2017 at 2:02 pm

    Thank you so much Berry for sharing and a huge congratulations. Im in my waiting period too and have suddenly started feeling the pressure. Trusting in God to perform his miracle like he did for you. amen.

  9. Obitalker

    September 6, 2017 at 2:08 pm

    Wow what a great story, thank you for sharing!

  10. Dr.N

    September 6, 2017 at 2:38 pm

    I’m so excited for you!!!
    I feel like dancing
    Welcome precious. Your path will be easy and bright

  11. Cocoa

    September 6, 2017 at 4:18 pm

    My namesake!! hehehe!!
    God is not moved by our emotions or our acts of goodness, neither by our anger nor our resentment …we can not bribe God. HE WILL DO WHAT HE WANTS TO DO….WHAT HE ALREADY PLANNED TO DO WHILE WE WERE YET IN OUR MOTHER’S WOMB….and He will do it…AT HIS TIME!!!!

    Our only job is to submit it ALL to Him….remember His goodness in the past and hang on to our FAITH.

    If Berry did not have to WAIT ON HIM….we wouldn’t be here on this post…glorifying His name.

    As for me i have decided i will be CONTENT IN CHRIST…with or without ( insert anything imaginable in life)…..because His Grace is sufficient enough for me 🙂

    p.s: CONGRATS BERRY&CAKES! WELCOME BABY COCOA!!!

  12. bolintin

    September 6, 2017 at 4:36 pm

    Thank God for you. Bless your good heart.

  13. aunty

    September 6, 2017 at 5:47 pm

    love your name & baby’s name! congratulations!!!
    Praise God!

  14. Olubunmi

    September 6, 2017 at 6:16 pm

    (smiles) so lovely Congratulations once again Berry.

  15. Nnenna S

    September 7, 2017 at 12:36 am

    I am so happy for u Berry, congratulations!!! God is indeed good.

  16. Gerry

    September 7, 2017 at 3:40 pm

    Congratulations! Thank you so much for sharing your journey. It’s so disturbing how people can be when you talk about your fertility struggles, a lady in church told me, God told her, to tell me to stop talking about my problem and I asked is church good for only testimonies? God will answer our prayers

  17. Olly

    September 7, 2017 at 6:52 pm

    Congrats dear! May a God bless and keep her in great health, peace and love. I’m patiently waiting on God too, been praying and hoping that some day I’ll be able to give this same testimony. My husband and I ran tests after months of trying and it turns out he has low sperm count and motility. He’s on the big side and we’ve read and heard that it may be a contributing factor but he has refused to loose weight. I try to help him eat right, exercise and cut back on junk to no avail. his mum keeps asking stylishly what the problem is ( questions directed at me), she’s a good mother but like most Africans, the problem must be from the woman (I’ve been certified ok and fertile). He doesn’t want to tell her and doesn’t want me to either. It’s a loose loose situation for me right now and it makes me really sad. I get tired of praying sometimes. Makes me feel like I’m wasting my time when my husband is making no effort at all to help his condition. I really don’t know what else to do.

    • Cocoa

      September 8, 2017 at 12:00 pm

      Don’t give up my dear! Continue to support your husband with healthy meals and remain respectful no matter how nonchalant you feel he is being. You are not doing this for your husband but as an offering to your God.
      Pray specific prayers….prayers for your husband to yield to medical advice, prayers for the strength to be active in losing weight. There is no mind God can not minister to.

      Do not stress over what you have no control over. Let the Word of God be your food when you grow weary,…remember that you are called to be content in Christ WITH OR WITHOUT.

      Remember that the devil knows you are vulnerable. Be determined to protect your mind at all cost. At the time you dont feel like praying is exactly when you need to get on your knees.

      I will keep you in prayers also. God bless you.

  18. Olly

    September 7, 2017 at 6:52 pm

    May God bless and keep her. *

  19. Betty

    September 7, 2017 at 8:49 pm

    Awww!congratulations Berry. The God that did yours will do same for me and many others who are still trusting Him for their own children.

  20. EuuJay

    September 8, 2017 at 6:44 am

    Congratulations to Berry and Cakes….

    On Cocoa ‘s arrival

    God stepped at the right time, all praises to His name. . . . .

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