BN Confession: Christmas Holiday Sex with My Ex & He Did Not Tell Me He Was Married

Hi guys, BN Confession Box is a feature on BellaNaija – curated by Nkem Ndem.

The Confession Box is our virtual confessor’s box where BellaNaijarians can let loose and say their deepest and rawest fears.
These letters are from you, and we’ll ensure that your identity is protected. Everybody needs some form of outlet or the other.

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Dear BN,

I am just coming back home to Nigeria for the first time in 5 years and I am starting to think that coming back so was a bad move. Not because everybody who see me starts to sing my praises so that I can drop some money for them, or because of the fuel scarcity that has just made enjoyment difficult. No. I am not happy because I seem to have fallen into a trap I did not imagine I can fall for.

Before I travelled, I was dating a man in naija here who did not have a lot of money. He did not have a good job and did not support me when I was looking for a visa. Despite his low class, I loved him and cherish the good sex too.

After I managed to travel abroad though, I never heard from him again. No calls, no e-mails. I tried to reach him but nobody could reach him for me, so I moved on with my life. As God will have it,  I paid heavily to marry a white man and have finally gotten my papers. All this time, my ex was missing in action, but immediately after I arrived, he appeared from nowhere. He was looking very nice and even had a small car.

My mother was very upset when she showed up and said I should not let him deceive me, but I did not see the harm in having fun with him before I travel back in January. Before you know it, we started having sex again. To be honest, I had missed that part of him. Then, one night, he said to me that I should say yes to him so that he can divorce his wife and we can live happily ever after in the US. Immediately I was shocked. I had no idea he was married.

I have asked him never to contact me again, and I feel so bad for not listening to my mother. Should I go and apologize to his wife. I can’t believe I let this man fool me like this again.

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