BN Confession Box: You Call it Incest, I Call It Love

Hi guys, BN Confession Box is a feature on BellaNaija – curated by Nkem Ndem.

The Confession Box is our virtual confessor’s box where BellaNaijarians can let loose and say their deepest and rawest fears.
These letters are from you, and we’ll ensure that your identity is protected. Everybody needs some form of outlet or the other.

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I am 26 years old. I have a big problem. I watch a lot of pornography. Ever since my parents bought me my first smartphone, I have been a regular visitor at Pornhub. In the categories, there is one called Step Fantasy.  It is about people who are related having sex. I have been obsessed with that for a while, but now I think it may have set me up for failure.  I have always believed that porn is not that terrible. It is just a movie and it cannot affect real life, but now I think I am in love with my sister.

She is just two years older than me, and I am squatting with her in her one-bedroom apartment. She always walks around naked because she believes since we are related, it will have no effect on me, but I now fantasize about her. She is not even endowed or anything, but she is all I want.

I have a girlfriend who services me very regularly, but every time we are together now, I have to imagine my sister before I can do anything. At night, when I am at home with her, I always dream about her and it takes the mercy of God not to force myself on her because she sleeps naked. One time she teased me and even pulled my privates. I don’t know if this is a sign. I am too embarrassed about this, and I don’t know if should tell her. What if she is also interested. Or am I just possessed by the devil?

Photo Credit: © Hongqi Zhang (aka Michael Zhang) | Dreamstime.com