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Pastor Ifeanyi & Girls’ Dressing, FFK Vs. Church of Satan, Peruzzi Slapsgiving & a Gorilla Swallowing ₦7m | Here’s What Went Down this Week
This past week has been … something. We’ve had a lot of our celebrities simply … is misbehaving the word? We woke up on Monday to hear that one of them physically assaulted someone who made an unkind comment about them. Then, while that was scarcely over, we saw another emissarial individual being simply ridiculous. And all that was only Monday morning.
Let’s take you through the week.
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The Slap We Woke Up To
Even more annoying than the slap itself was that lame apology. But let’s start from the beginning.
We woke up Monday morning to find Twitter buzzing with news about a slap. Or perhaps it was the artist’s name we saw first, and we scrolled and scrolled, asking: what did he do this time?
Well, what had happened was Peruzzi had his bodyguards hold down this influencer – Pamilerin – while he slapped him. (I can’t get the image of big grown men holding down some scrawny guy so their boss can slap his face out of my mind. Talk about your job being degrading.)
So @Peruzzi_VIBES slapped @thepamilerin today over an old tweet ???this is inhumane and barbaric from this Trash singer ? pic.twitter.com/gnNtKFeBOX
— Indulge (@iam_indulge) June 9, 2019
This is getting too long. Okay. So Peruzzi came on Twitter to give some half-a** apology, adding “Nobody holy.” (It’s since been deleted.) The same thing was said by his label boss Davido when people were condemning online fraud (puts things in perspective). Davido, too, came with some apology about how artists are human too, as if to be human is to go around assaulting people who don’t like your art.
See, let’s just move on.
I apologize to you @thepamilerin on behalf of my Brother and Artist @Peruzzi_VIBES he was wrong for putting his hands on you but pple need to realize that we Artist are human beings and we see everything! You said some harsh words too my brother and sometimes this thing dey pain!
— Davido (@iam_Davido) June 10, 2019
Whether you like Pamilerin or not and whether you are a fan of Peruzzi or not, we are all agreeing on one thing… Assaulting someone for airing his views is all shades of WRONG and shouldn’t be taken lightly lest it becomes a trend.
— Dr. Phoenix® (@ImeAkan3) June 9, 2019
So Peruzzi slapped Pamilerin over an old tweet.
I’ve said it before:
Talent is one thing,
Character is another.This ratchet behaviour only shows that beyond the fame and cameras, Peruzzi like many others, is a classless rogue and an unrefined scallywag.
Alimosho Lucky Dube.
— OurFavOnlineDoctor ? ? (@DrOlufunmilayo) June 9, 2019
The commentary from the Pamilerin/Peruzzi incident, further confirms to me that Nigerians don’t really hate oppression. They just want to be the ones doing the oppressing.
— RIP B.Elect. ? (@d_angrymob) June 10, 2019
Our Former Minister Casting out Satan
??♂️
That’s the only emoji good enough to express the disappointment. See for yourself what happened between former minister Femi Fani-Kayode and the Twitter account for the Church of Satan.
(While most of FFK’s tweets have been deleted, perhaps out of a deep deep embarrassment, screenshots exist for a reason, and we are grateful.)
“Servant of truth”
Or not. pic.twitter.com/nTmarkGkBF
— The Church Of Satan (@ChurchofSatan) June 9, 2019
That doesn’t actually work. We are right here in front of you telling you that you are making false, unfounded accusations and asking you nicely to please leave us out of this as it has nothing to do with us.
— The Church Of Satan (@ChurchofSatan) June 9, 2019
That doesn’t work either.
— The Church Of Satan (@ChurchofSatan) June 10, 2019
That doesn’t work either.
— The Church Of Satan (@ChurchofSatan) June 10, 2019
Maybe FFK doesn’t know this, but the Church of Satan, which is atheistic, actually has nothing to do with the biblical Satan. They have a FAQ up on their Twitter, which, frankly, is more informational than those pamphlets written in red ink that is shared around about them in Nigerian traffic.
Another Money-Swallowing Animal in Naija
E no dey do dis people?
This time, it’s ₦7 million. They say a gorilla in a zoo swallowed the money. Frankly, one is tired of hearing these … things.
Apparently, the money was realised during the Sallah holiday, and a gorilla reportedly snuck into the finance office, snatched the money, ran away and swallowed it.
Sighhhhhhhhhhh.
What will the son of man not hear in this country Nigeria?
Ladies and Gentlemen on today’s episode of Nigeria is a joke
A Gorilla has allegedly swallowed 7 million made from five days of salah in Kano Zoo
BBC Pidgins report is next level ??https://t.co/FJqyW2u0uC
— Nennie Mai Zobo (@Nenkinan_deshi) June 14, 2019
A gorilla swallowed 7 million naira in Kano zoo which was revenue accrued due to Eid celebrations.
This is a sequel to the snake swallowing series at the Jamb office in Benue.
Next! ?
— Sadiq Nagero?? (@nagero_) June 15, 2019
Exclusive picture of the now balling gorilla that stole the 6.7 million pic.twitter.com/MNYqpaZmP7
— ráymond (@_alexxray) June 14, 2019
Incase you are looking for the Gorilla that swallowed ₦7 million. pic.twitter.com/ABr8vZDrAp
— Kamal Rahman (@TheKamalRahman) June 14, 2019
Gorilla swallowed 7 million naira in kano zoo, can someone volunteer & lead us in closing prayer. Nigeria is becoming something!!
— Danmusajnr (@Danmusajnr1) June 15, 2019
Is Nigeria ?? truly turning to a zoo?
First, it a snake ? that ate 36million now a gorilla ? in Kano also ate nearly 7 million.
You people will not kuku kill us.
— Gbádégésin Fábùnmi (@Seun731) June 14, 2019
Its 2019, let’s stop the lies against animals, just because they don’t have rights and cant speak. Leave them alone. Gorillas mostly stick to fruits and veggies not money… not 7 million naira.
— Divinus (@yomydivinus) June 14, 2019
Seem like animals should be given more financial roles in this country, imagine from monkey to snake, now its a gorilla swallowing 7 million naira?. Are we some kinda joke or som’n???
— ThatFairBoy™ (@_huntermann) June 14, 2019
Is it true that a gorilla swallowed 7 million naira in a Zoo in Kano State? Wow.. The Nigerian animal kingdom needs to be investigated quickly because “We dun know waz going on” ??
— Aleezah Organics (@AleezahOrganics) June 14, 2019
Pastor Ifeanyi and Indecent Dressing
Well, it’s not unreasonable that a pastor, female or not, is calling out “indecent dressing” in church. It is the church, after all. But, you know, when the calling out takes the form of misogyny and slut shaming, and the men in the church are asked if they’ll use women like “the toy that you are” and “fling you when he’s done,” and the men (again, in the church) answer yes, then you know there’s a problem.
So, get this: it’s not right that women are “indecently dressed,” but, if they are, then it’s an excuse for the men in church to use them “as the toy that you are” and “fling you when he’s done.”
Oh, all right. Ride on, pastor!
She completely SHATTERED this table. There’s nothing remaining on it?
Part 1. THREAD! pic.twitter.com/gTtuOuAVwG
— Adanna (@theKarenKing) June 12, 2019
Brooooooooooo?
Part 2 pic.twitter.com/SHg2dtSRV0
— Adanna (@theKarenKing) June 12, 2019
Even though you’re his wife, be his chick. Cheers to that!
Part 3. pic.twitter.com/9DJfOdKWBh
— Adanna (@theKarenKing) June 12, 2019
Tithe Not Enough, Ekiti Pastor Comes up with Alternative Plan
See, how much is the minimum wage in Ekiti State, because it seems the tithe congregants pay in this methodist church in Ado-Ekiti isn’t enough for the pastor.
Adewuyi Adegoke, a pastor, arranged with some Oluwadare Sunday to fake his own kidnap and demand ₦3 million ransom from his congregation.
Unfortunately for Adegoke, his ploy was uncovered, and he’s been arrested by the police.
Anyway, this is why you should pay your tithes, guys. Pastor must chop. And if you don’t pay, you’ll just have to pay ransom.
What do the people have to say?
We no gree, he must have been told to lie on himself by the real kidnappers…the Fulani Herdsmen
— Oyesile john, mpsn (@OyesileJohn) June 12, 2019
Serve God,obey your pastors when they are obeying God don’t let them become God to you.They are human and can err.May God help this Pastor to come back to the faith and not to backslide BC of this in Jesus name amen.THIS END TIME SPIRIT IS ON RAMPAGE GOD HELP US
— Rony (@Rony37220245) June 12, 2019
After reading the news……
Angles: pic.twitter.com/zacgNu1Xdk
— Financial Woman (@FinancialWoman1) June 13, 2019
Congregation no gree drop again.
— Engr Emmatex ? (@Emmatex1238) June 12, 2019
Is not easy fa, the economy, naija as a whole, pastor too gats waak now! pic.twitter.com/a2fUacVBtc
— Arya unsual (@kumafa9) June 13, 2019
Collect tithe , collect offerings , collection solemnization fee , collect , . . . Collect ransom at the end of the day you will blame PMB
— Cute Alhaji (@Oaklander4) June 13, 2019
Botswana Repealed their Anti-Gay Law – #Repeal164
It’s been a decent pride month, hasn’t it? It definitely is for the folks in Botswana. Their High Court agreed that “it is not the business of the law to regulate private consensual sexual encounters” between adults.
The High Court heard the case after a man identified as LM, in his early 20s, took the case before the court.
Scenes of joy as decriminalization Of homosexuality made official in Botswana #repeal164 pic.twitter.com/pBch7o6kdh
— Ryan Brown (@ryanlenorabrown) June 11, 2019
The High Court in Botswana has uplifted human rights and decriminalised consensual same-sex sex. In a unanimous ruling, the Court held that the laws are discriminatory and unconstitutional.
The Court said homosexuality is not unAfican. This is major victory. #Repeal164
— James Lorde (@Mr_Mokgoroane) June 11, 2019
Botswana has just decriminalised!
High Court unanimously declared colonial era laws discriminatory. #Repeal164 #Repeal162 pic.twitter.com/7Nb4Rez2fj— DENIS NZIOKA (@DenisNzioka) June 11, 2019
“There are also many people of same-sex relationships in this country who have been violated and have also suffered in silence for fear of being discriminated. Just like other citizens, they deserve to have their rights protected.” – President @OfficialMasisi #Repeal164 pic.twitter.com/ISWEemwuI5
— #LEGABIBO (@legabiboadvo) June 10, 2019
Leburu: “a democratic nation is one that embraces tolerance, diversity, and open mindedness… societal inclusion is central to ending poverty and fostering shared prosperity.” #Repeal164
— Ryan Brown (@ryanlenorabrown) June 11, 2019
The judges took on EVERYTHING and EVERYONE. Sexual orientation is innate, homosexuality is NOT pedophilia, no one is hurt in two adults consensual sex, sex is not just for procreation but for pleasure, and state should not police people’s bedrooms #repeal164
— xeenarh ?️? (@xeenarh) June 11, 2019
Going Blue for Sudan
There’s an ongoing military crackdown in Sudan, with hundreds murdered in cold blood, some of them dumped in the River Nile. Both women and men have been raped, and thousands are in dire need of medical aid.
Why, you ask?
Because they’re protesting a dictatorship. People are being murdered because they want a fair leadership. The people of a country are being killed and raped and shot at because they want to be led by people who have their interests at heart. There’s no way to make sense of it. It’s bizarre.
What the rest of us are trying to do now is make sure that those in need of medical care get it. We’re trying to get the word out there, too, so that the powers that be can do something about the killings. Until both are achieved, until peace is back in Sudan, we won’t stop.
We can not stay silent when our brothers and sisters are going through this. #Sudan pic.twitter.com/WNuWd5I1R0
— Evelyn Namara (@enamara) June 15, 2019
PHOTOS: Concerned Nigerians Group Protests Over Sudan Killingshttps://t.co/Xu7zsyIFqf pic.twitter.com/eI4PyOcqFh
— Channels Television (@channelstv) June 15, 2019
For those oblivious of what is happening in Sudan watch this. #SudanMassacre #BlueForSudan #PrayforSudan #Sudan #WeAreSudan #SudaneseUprising
— Mjayy Yasser (@MjayyYasser) June 15, 2019
innocent people are dying in sudan innocent people are dying in sudan innocent people are dying in sudan
— Reagan tinka ?? (@EasyMoneySnipa6) June 15, 2019
The whole world is aware what’s going on in Sudan guns and tanks cannot destroy the will of the people these anti-people powers will ultimately pay the heavy price of their atrocities civilised and peace loving people all over the world support the civil society of Sudan https://t.co/hnGzvG7tmn
— Hamid Mir (@HamidMirPAK) June 15, 2019
The cries of Sudan people should be loud enough for the world to hear but why is it in silence when it’s needed to be loud? Raise awareness and spread the news#blueforsudan pic.twitter.com/fi0yZZMjHg
— ???????? ?Celestia S. (@Celestiaphim) June 15, 2019
In Sudan, peaceful protestors are being killed simply for calling for free & fair elections. We cannot allow these human rights abuses. I stand with the people of Sudan who are fighting for their freedoms and call on the Sudanese military to stop the violence immediately.
— Rep. Jason Crow (@RepJasonCrow) June 15, 2019
You may also change your profile photos to blue, on WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, just so that whenever anyone sees it, Sudan comes to mind.
And that’s all for this week, folks! If we forgot anything, share in the comment section. Let’s see what next week brings.