Oghogho Osayimwen: Can You Stop Asking Me When I’ll Be Getting Married?

I ran into an old family friend while I was on a field trip. We had barely exchanged pleasantries when he asked: “Are you married now?”

I wasn’t too surprised; this is Nigeria, isn’t it? However, it made me think about just how much authority very random people have over your life. I wondered, “Do you think that’s an appropriate first question?”

As if that wasn’t enough, he continued after I told him I wasn’t. He said, “Have you considered going for deliverance?”

Maybe that 5-minute encounter was the most ridiculous part of my trip. As they say, “Who sent me to greet this man?” I smiled and waved him goodbye.

It baffles me when people stress over your personal affairs. Yeah, yeah, I know it could be a way of showing love. But, as humans, God has pre-destined that at certain stages of our lives, we’ll experience a period where we have to wait for some form of promotion or realization of our goals and dreams.

The society has a way of defining every stage of your life. If only it was possible to remind ourselves that some people require space for their wings to fly without obstruction. It would be shocking if anyone living could honestly say that they have never experienced or gone through a waiting season in their lives. Among these, two of the most challenging are finding a life partner and finding aa child.

Edakun, is it your waiting period?

I understand that a lot of people are genuinely concerned, but some derive some measure of satisfaction when they remind you sarcastically of the very thing you’re waiting for.

Haven’t you thought about just keeping quiet sometimes? Or, to the religious few, why not say a word of prayer for us? If you care so much, you should find an acceptable way of presenting your words. Because, sometimes, I really am not in the mood for it. Go write a book if you think you know it all, I’m sorry if that comes off as harsh.

This serves as a plea: if you happen to come across someone waiting, a friend, family member, acquaintance, remember it’s not your waiting period. Do not go beyond your boundaries.

A waiting period is for a reason. Some people have chosen to travel theirs without external pressures. If you are not travelling a waiting route, learn to be a blessing instead. Restrain from been a bore. Remember, it’s their waiting period, not yours.

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