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Oghogho Osayimwen: Can You Stop Asking Me When I’ll Be Getting Married?

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I ran into an old family friend while I was on a field trip. We had barely exchanged pleasantries when he asked: “Are you married now?”

I wasn’t too surprised; this is Nigeria, isn’t it? However, it made me think about just how much authority very random people have over your life. I wondered, “Do you think that’s an appropriate first question?

As if that wasn’t enough, he continued after I told him I wasn’t. He said, “Have you considered going for deliverance?”

Maybe that 5-minute encounter was the most ridiculous part of my trip. As they say, “Who sent me to greet this man?” I smiled and waved him goodbye.

It baffles me when people stress over your personal affairs. Yeah, yeah, I know it could be a way of showing love. But, as humans, God has pre-destined that at certain stages of our lives, we’ll experience a period where we have to wait for some form of promotion or realization of our goals and dreams.

The society has a way of defining every stage of your life. If only it was possible to remind ourselves that some people require space for their wings to fly without obstruction. It would be shocking if anyone living could honestly say that they have never experienced or gone through a waiting season in their lives. Among these, two of the most challenging are finding a life partner and finding aa child.

Edakun, is it your waiting period?

I understand that a lot of people are genuinely concerned, but some derive some measure of satisfaction when they remind you sarcastically of the very thing you’re waiting for.

Haven’t you thought about just keeping quiet sometimes? Or, to the religious few, why not say a word of prayer for us? If you care so much, you should find an acceptable way of presenting your words. Because, sometimes, I really am not in the mood for it. Go write a book if you think you know it all, I’m sorry if that comes off as harsh.

This serves as a plea: if you happen to come across someone waiting, a friend, family member, acquaintance, remember it’s not your waiting period. Do not go beyond your boundaries.

A waiting period is for a reason. Some people have chosen to travel theirs without external pressures. If you are not travelling a waiting route, learn to be a blessing instead. Restrain from been a bore. Remember, it’s their waiting period, not yours.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

Oghogho Osayimwen is a writer and corporate communications expert in Abuja Nigeria. She prides herself in relating life experiences in words to help others live and travel through life unshaken. She loves adventure and helping people build their personal brands. [email protected]

30 Comments

  1. Ada

    July 9, 2018 at 6:41 pm

    The annoying thing is that if you take a good look at some of the people who make such comments, they are not even happy in their own marriages!

    • Marsala

      July 10, 2018 at 4:43 am

      I have a friend that keeps saying do quick and get married. Very soon, my response will be “Madam, I can’t remember asking you to run my race”.

  2. Jummy

    July 9, 2018 at 7:34 pm

    My own case is different sef cause no one is pressuring me but I feel under pressure so much!

    I’m 24 and still have another 4 years to be in college so friends/family are not pressuring me one bit. But for some reason I feel pressure. I turn 25 next year and I feel that the older a woman gets, the less her suitors are.

    Doesn’t help that I just broke up with my boyfriend of almost 3 years who I thought I was gonna end up with. The thought of starting with another guy and maybe not even ending with the guy is so depressing! I just feel like getting married so I can get dating over with!

    I can’t even date anyone now cause I’m like “he’s probably not even gonna marry me” i don’t let them know I’m thinking this way though cause they may take advantage of it. I feel so pathetic because I’m only 24 and feel so much pressure.

    Please I need advise from older women on how to deal with this and maximize my singlehood. Godly advise is welcome as well.

    • Star

      July 9, 2018 at 9:38 pm

      Jummy i have read your comments in the past and i know for sure you are a christian. You must know as a christian you are NEVER i repeat, YOU ARE NEVER disadvantaged that moment you chose JESUS your life became Gods personal responsibilty so have that in mind your life already has been mapped out and provided for. Did you ever think God was going to wait for a time to give you sth, the bible says ALL things that partain to LIFE and GODLINESS he had already provided but theres an appointed time and person for you already, you could be ready (wrong reasons,red flag) but your husband to be could be somewhere praying to God to train him how to be a good husband and father ie he is unripe for marriage. Do not ever compare yourself to ORDINARY girls out there who live without a purpose, now God has given you an asignment which you must figure out fist before marriage. You dont discover purpose after marriage but before and when i say PURPOSE i mean the specific area you are expect to affect PEOPLES lives for God then you can meaningfully blend with your husband because you have discovered yourself to a good extent. GOD will not release you for marriage untill you have discovered yourself in christ so you and your HUBBY can join forces to change lives positively.. so JUMMY sit down and ask yourself these questions; who am l? What is my reason for being here on earth? What are my beliefs? Can i defend my beliefs without wavering? Why was i given these talents and potentials? If someone should ask you these questions wud you b able to answer them heads on? Until you do my love, you are not ready for marriage. I have met so many people married to wondeful spouses but they wished they had taken more time to evolve in their SINGLENESS, when the babies come that vogour and drive wanes and dwindles because at that time you have more respinsibilities, SELAH.

    • Cocoa

      July 10, 2018 at 9:01 am

      Oh God bless you my sister. You are indeed a Titus 2 woman. Thank you for this godly counsel. Im sure seeds have been sown in hearts.

      JUMMY, what this lady has said is IT. The FEAR and anxiety youre feeling is not of GOD. SURRENDER your singleness to Him let Him TEACH YOU. You are a BABY, suck on MILK first, dont look at MEAT yet..you dont have teeth for it.

    • Temitops

      July 9, 2018 at 10:46 pm

      My dear… enjoy ur single life as much as u can, go on all the vacations, shopping sprees, dates etc You never know what marriage holds in stock for you ( this advise is coming from someone(myself) got married at 27 and been happily married for 9 years) I’m always excited when I think of all the unrestricted fun I had before getting married). Never you think that your happiness is hinged on getting married. It comes with its own challenges, restrictions n all. So enjoy yourself very well. If anyone asks u why u are still single, politely tell them to mind their biz! Don’t allow d craze for asoebi, push u into d wrong hands!!!

    • Anne

      July 9, 2018 at 11:56 pm

      Jummy. Don’t feel pressured at all and I understand. Internal pressure is worse because it is everywhere you go. You need to pray and ask your maker regarding your own specific time. I will be very honest with you. If you don’t have to get married late, you don’t have to. Don’t run by someone else’s standards. God has a way of reaching out to individuals. Eg if your time is 26, let it be. You don’t have to date all the men in your area and travel the whole world if your time has come and yes you can still be young, successful and married. On the other hand, God tells some people to wait so no one can dictate to you when it’s your time. Live your life with no regrets. No man knows the future of another 100%. . Secondly, we are sometimes overtly sensitive when we are going through. As per sarcastic comments, those ones are evil and been sent by their master to project depression so speak the word. You must have the right words for such people in season. Don’t keep quiet and let their negative words pass unless the Holy Spirit wants you to. He sees ahead. Ask the Holy Spirit to teach you what to say. Do you know He can also make you say something so powerful and nice that will crush the sarcastic commentator so much that when he or she sees you next time, he or she will bow. He can also ask you to keep quiet though. He knows best. As per the genuine words, don’t be too sensitive. You can never tell if they were in your shoes. People don’t say everything. Some are God sent not all. There are people who ask genuinely and start praying for you afterwards. Some of them have a nice gentleman in their hands. Men get pressured too but they don’t take it too personally and that’s the truth.

    • Ephi

      July 10, 2018 at 7:41 am

      Jummy, I would please like to recommend the book “Sacred Search” by Gary Thomas for you. God already knows who He is preparing for you so do not fret, no need for pressure at all because God makes all things beautiful in His time. Trust Him. That is all He asks.

    • Chizzy

      July 10, 2018 at 1:33 pm

      Jummy, I was once in like you. worrying over when I would get married and whether I would find someone who has similar christian values to live forever with. One BF broke up with me cos I wasn’t willing to sleep with him. A guy who met my parents and seemed serious called it off when I was 25, he got married the next month. I just thought how will i find someone to start a relationship again cos i HARDLY hung out, I was working in Lagos and all the guys seemed to be only about “come to my house and sleepover”. Just like you my parents mounted no pressure on me and I see how that was a blessing right now. Long story short, from no where, an old schoolmate messaged me on facebook. He wasn’t living in Nigeria so i thought ‘ abeg abeg we are looking for serious ppl’…i took him with a pinch of salt. Just kept chatting and we met 4 months later. I was even scared how fast he was going with the marriage thing , and told him to slow down cos in 10 months he paid my brideprice and started plans to get married. I got married at 27. Had a baby straight up, we live together in God’s joy…As i type, he paid for my school fees to do another MSc and honestly I know God answered my cry when i got tired.

      I’m not better than anybody and it is not cos i’m too good that God stepped in for me. He will definitely do yours when you hold on to him and the time is right.

    • Chynwa

      July 11, 2018 at 1:13 pm

      Enjoy ur single dears my dear and delete that fear of no one else will come from your mind. Just make sure you stay joyful and looking sharp; You’ll be amazed at the number of suitors as u get more mature. More importantly, truts that God loves you and wants to give you the best life partner! – a man after God’s heart for you. Cheers

    • Oghogho

      July 11, 2018 at 1:59 pm

      Hey Jummy,
      You would just be okay, a lot of us also travel with self doubt and pressure and have learnt how to appreciate ourselves and wait for the right man. Rest assured that if you remain joyful, grow daily, see the world in unique eyes, explore the giftings that God has given unto you, you would surely feel less of that pressure. And @times when the thought envelopes you, take some deep breaths and engage in an activity you love. Remember, God will make marriage happen for you even better than you desire, and he is a good God, keep been you and the best version of yourself. And when marriage happens dear, remember to invite us on this thread. Enjoy you and impact your world!

    • memebaby

      July 12, 2018 at 7:18 am

      lol girl you need to relax and you have no business dating anyone right now as you just got out of a relationship.. RELAX.. these men are no going anywhere.. when you meet the one you will know.. live life and don’t rush into anything.

  3. Ada

    July 9, 2018 at 8:40 pm

    Dear Jummy, you are still young. Please enjoy your life by doing what a 24 year old would do eg. finish school, get a job, travel the world, make new friends. There is an appointed time for everything as the bible says. If you pressure yourself, you will not enjoy life to the fullest.

  4. nametalkam

    July 9, 2018 at 9:20 pm

    Even worse than being asked ‘when will you marry?’, is when people stop asking or stop praying for you. I have got to an age where I am finally FREE of ridiculous comments and questions. If you desire to marry please do so to the RIGHT person. Dearest Jummy please believe me when I say you have your whole life ahead of you. If I could do it all again, I will travel and see the world in my 20s. I will learn another language fluently! Experience and enjoy life and don’t worry about getting married before a certain age. LIVE your best life, build yourself up and the right person will find you.

  5. ogie

    July 9, 2018 at 9:59 pm

    Such an annoying questions………….inserts eye roll….. It seems smiling and waving doesn’t work anymore. I suppose it is to say in 6 years time…

  6. Ceejay

    July 9, 2018 at 10:12 pm

    Hahahahaha…on the “you need deliverance”. I can relate to this, my mum just called to pressure on settling down am not even 30 yet ooo, I can only imagine how the pressure would be when am 30 and still unmarried.

  7. Nwunye Tobi

    July 10, 2018 at 12:20 am

    Haha I can relate. It’s my Mums friend that always tells me, ‘time is going oh’. Did i tell her to count time for me?? Plus all the people that will be like ‘im praying for you’, in that condescending tone. You too don’t you need prayers ma?? Amebo nigerians.

  8. Alterego

    July 10, 2018 at 6:57 am

    This is Nigeria. If you are single and out of school, irrespective of your gender, you will be asked this a lot. But it’s clear that women get asked a lot more than their male counterparts. There is no point in losing your mind over that question. I have developed a thick skin, actually. I am living the best version of my life. Traveling, communicating with God on a higher frequency, pursuing academic goals, multiplying my streams of income, writing, meeting people, living healthy(with the occasional slice of homemade pizza), finding out the things I’m good and bad at. I recently learned how to do the Anna Kendrick ‘cups’ song and performance and I’m thrilled at myself. Absolutely thrilled. Someone said I’m actually flexing my single life. That it seems like marriage might dim my personality. I used to be afraid because I see my married friends look tired, harassed, dissatisfied etc.
    I know there is someone out there with whom I will continue living fabulously. With whom, marriage would be another phase to an already worthwhile life, not dimming but rather strengthening and evolving a personality positively.
    Until then, imma continue living my baby girl life.

  9. Alterego

    July 10, 2018 at 7:04 am

    This is Nigeria. If you are single and out of school, irrespective of your gender, you will be asked this a lot. But it’s clear that women get asked a lot more than their male counterparts. There is no point in losing your mind over that question. I have developed a thick skin, actually. I am living the best version of my life. Traveling, communicating with God on a higher frequency, pursuing academic goals, multiplying my streams of income, writing, meeting people, living healthy(with the occasional slice of homemade pizza), finding out the things I’m good and bad at. I recently learned how to do the Anna Kendrick ‘cups’ song and performance and I’m thrilled at myself. Absolutely thrilled. Someone said I’m actually flexing my single life. That it seems like marriage might dim my personality. I used to be afraid because I see my married friends look tired, harassed, dissatisfied etc.
    I know there is someone out there with whom I will continue living fabulously. With whom, marriage would be another phase to an already worthwhile life, not dimming but rather strengthening and evolving a personality positively.
    My family might probably be praying for me. But they haven’t told me to my face yet. They know I’m having the most absolute time of my life. And if I’m asked by strangers, I will answer honestly, No. I’m not. If asked by friends who have known me: No, I’m not. And when they want to dissect my reasons why, it’s either bye, see you later or I politely change the topic. There is NO need to explain your choices to anyone.
    Until then, imma continue living my baby girl life.

  10. Mela

    July 10, 2018 at 7:46 am

    @Jummy…..Seriously enjoy your single days oh. And also trust God for the best life partner.
    Been married for 4 years. I love my hubby and my children very well but sometimes I miss my single days. Alot of things I wanted to do I didn’t do. And doing them now seems impossible
    I actually married early to leave home (i was tried of my dad).
    So if you have all the time in your hands. Enjoy your days. Be on your purpose lane. You will meet your partner in that path. Don’t stress out your brain planning about marriage.
    marriage is beautiful….very beautiful oh. But our single days are priceless¤¤¤¤¤¤

  11. mimi

    July 10, 2018 at 11:19 am

    Hmmm, i have read all the comments here and some made me smile. the pressure to get married is real, sometimes its from a place of love but how the message is being passed across sometimes do hurt. someone once looked at me and said stay there and be carrying other people’s children, when will you carry your own. i happen to love kids but i told myself if i am to have kids, i will do so with a great man standing next to me. i have choosen to do my waiting in the corridor of priase and thankgiving cos he is the God of all times. did i tell u guys i am 37 doing on 38 and for now marriage is not inside? but i choose to be happy and spread my happiness to others. a much older colleague once said “ki won ma ra moto, ki won ma se big girl kiri, ki won ma lo marry oo” meaning let them (myself and a friend) be buying cars, doing big girl up and down instead if them to gop and marry. my response was she is challenging God and God will shame her.

    • Cocoa

      July 11, 2018 at 10:40 am

      My darling Mimi,
      Your comment really touched me. Where manywill throw tantrums, curse God or marry an unbeliever…you have CHOSEN to WAIT in the corridor of PRAISE!!!!!

      GOD WILL HONOUR YOU.

      Those who murmur will look ar your life and fall to their knees to proclaim that truely your God is a PROMISE KEEPER. YOUR LIFE WILL BE A TESTIIMONY to men and women.

      YOU WILL BE CELEBRATED.

      This, with the authority i have as a child of the living God, this i prophesy into you life. And so shall it be in Jesus’ name, Amen.

      Congratulations!

  12. Ola

    July 10, 2018 at 4:29 pm

    Your intentions seem great.. With a lot of horseshit in between. There are actually no laid down rules for these things. The real questions should be “is this really what i want? Am I ready?”. “Discover your purpose first” you say. Some people come into our life to be our biggest motivators and cheer leaders. A true partnership should not hinder you. @Jummy.. The truth is.. If we listen to our hearts, we know what we truly desire, but most times it’s drowned by fears and people’s fucking expectations. Maybe just enjoy whatever GOOD friendship that comes your way, not letting the thought of marriage hinder the enjoyment of a relationship., it will happen, when it’s time.
    Peace✌️

  13. Vics

    July 11, 2018 at 12:41 pm

    After you finally get married, when will you start having children? After the first child, give him/her a sibling nau… Chai! My dear, you said it well,,
    is it their waiting? Another interesting article from Oghogho Osayimwen!

  14. OCGrace

    July 11, 2018 at 12:42 pm

    Aptly written.
    Thanks for putting this out.

  15. CodyBanks

    July 11, 2018 at 4:51 pm

    Edakun!!! Is it your waiting period? Oghogho help me ask them Lol. Our Yoruba peeps will call them gbegboruns. Like you said if they mean well, they’d find the right words to use to pass across their mind language without putting a dagger on their lips.

  16. QT MeezJacson

    July 12, 2018 at 3:03 am

    Oghogho thanks for sharing. Sometimes I think every 5 years when people turn a certain age, this topic crops up. I will never ask anybody uncomfortable questions, never! Why make someone feel bad? Even if it is because ‘I care about them’. It is only if they open up to me, that I will a solution ( eg matchmake/give various options for having beloved kids etc etc for them.

    Jummy Disclaimer: I am that unusual woman your adult guide told to look away from, and call me unprintable name just because I do not fit in. By fit in I mean not weeping and in a sackcloth, low self esteem and very quiet o.. No.t at all. Think more of glowreea braihma temperament.lol.

    Long read: when I was in my twenties the pressure was so much, when I went for service I will be crying during prayers. The guys I met just had one k leg or another .(secretly married/wanted my money/wanted to marry a foreign woman for papers keep me by the side and so on).

    30s came with pressure as well. but I took up a course in a country I was not familiar with. Over there ppl were not asking me about marriage but introducing me to the various food, culture, art of the world.. I Discovered the very little delightful things of life, (honestly travel as wide and as much as life permits).. So many men were interested in me (maybe its because of that INNER joy was radiated on my face) but I wasnt going to stay there for ever so never took their advances serious, nor led any one on (God forbid) I just kept them as friends.

    Something brought me back to nigeria by mid to late 30s, I was a changed person and with my heart on my sleeve dated a guy with my rlship goal very clear, he disappointed me. By 40 I laid down in my bed, ingested some things, telling God to end it for me, you see I had never planned for a life beyond 40 perhaps due to social conditioning. I said my last prayers and closed my eyes..death didnt come, so I had to live.
    .
    I am 42, I find my self less under pressure, I laugh easily, take care of myself and care of others (vulnerable) as much as I can afford to. .I have been dating a guy for like 6 years, he is the one counting (he met me in my ‘discover/travel the world years and only him started counting o, he is single, no kids and my age mate) I have another guy who is extremely interested in me. We arent even up to a year as friends. He is single no kids a bit older..He has made his intentions known to me One at my work place quietly courting,(single no kids) same work place that people ask me to my face how do I have a reason to smile when I am unmarried with no kids at my age. They have said worse, think about it,, they have used it to insult me. One more guy (single, no kids, 5years younger) that met me on the first day of school abroad.(those my years of happiness) who tracked me down like 2years ago, has recently upped his game realising I had other ppl interested in me, just as I am, warts and all
    .
    Each and every one of them treat me well, spend significant amount of time and material wealth on me, and no I am not using them. They are aware of my stance. The beauty of old age is not only being myself, no falsehood to pretend am wife material, but also being able to be blunt yet eloquent enough to emphasise to suitors that I regard myself as single till I am married. Therefore interested men will not be turned away. Also It is like the period I am least expecting marriage (horror she is too old!) is when serious minded men are coming around.. My ‘resting face’ is a smile with dimples. They say I do not look my age, do not hold a grudge for long and that I am so full of life.

    I too cannot fully explain it, all I know is I am not desperate anymore, have never gone for deliverance, and do not go anywhere I repeat anywhere that messes with my mind neither do I listen to ever single thing…nEVER aGAIN!! M y friends who got married, its a mix bag, a few are happy, some are unhappy but married a few are divorced. A few got married again. When we all hang out (I wear a ring to placate them) chances are that I immediately get someone chatting me up. I am living my best life and I havent even gone scuba diving yet nor discovered Greece.. lol.

    (I took time to take religion out of it, so that any depressed female soul of any religion who may read this, should know WE EXIST and are H A P P Y!

    I guess my point is this, I wish I that my 23 yr old self (breaking down in tears and snot at baptist church lateef jakande street,) had more outspoken well travelled women that told me that life continued after 40 for a single woman. An exciting life worth living!. All of them insinuated that a woman stops having sexual urges by 36 (Lie from the pit of hell.!), therefore have all your kids and if possible be a grandma by 40.
    Yes yes I know all the story about menopause and all.. If one needs children this is 2018 now o! Plus I am very much wiser to know that the only thing that is for sure,, is that we live alone and die alone. All other things, count it as joy!
    Sorry for the long read, bottom line you are born alone and you will leave alone, live your best life, as life is too dang short!
    peace

  17. QT MeezJacson

    July 12, 2018 at 8:56 pm

    Oghogho thanks for sharing. Sometimes I think every 5 years when people turn a certain age, this topic crops up. I will never ask anybody uncomfortable questions, never! Why make someone feel bad? Even if it is because ‘I care about them’. It is only if they open up to me, that I will a solution ( eg matchmake/give various options for having beloved kids etc etc for them.

    Jummy Disclaimer: I am that unusual woman your adult guide told to look away from, and call me unprintable name just because I do not fit in. By fit in I mean not weeping and in a sackcloth, low self esteem and very quiet o.. No.t at all. Think more of glowreea braihma temperament.lol.

    Long read: when I was in my twenties the pressure was so much, when I went for service I will be crying during prayers. The guys I met just had one k leg or another .(secretly married/wanted my money/wanted to marry a foreign woman for papers keep me by the side and so on).

    30s came with pressure as well. but I took up a course in a country I was not familiar with. Over there ppl were not asking me about marriage but introducing me to the various food, culture, art of the world.. I Discovered the very little delightful things of life, (honestly travel as wide and as much as life permits).. So many men were interested in me (maybe its because of that INNER joy was radiated on my face) but I wasnt going to stay there for ever so never took their advances serious, nor led any one on (God forbid) I just kept them as friends.

    Something brought me back to nigeria by mid to late 30s, I was a changed person and with my heart on my sleeve dated a guy with my rlship goal very clear, he disappointed me. By 40 I laid down in my bed, ingested some things, telling God to end it for me, you see I had never planned for a life beyond 40 perhaps due to social conditioning. I said my last prayers and closed my eyes..death didnt come, so I had to live.
    .

  18. QT MeezJacson

    July 12, 2018 at 8:56 pm

    I am 42, I find my self less under pressure, I laugh easily, take care of myself and care of others (vulnerable) as much as I can afford to. .I have been dating a guy for like 6 years, he is the one counting (he met me in my ‘discover/travel the world years and only him started counting o, he is single, no kids and my age mate) I have another guy who is extremely interested in me. We arent even up to a year as friends. He is single no kids a bit older..He has made his intentions known to me One at my work place quietly courting,(single no kids) same work place that people ask me to my face how do I have a reason to smile when I am unmarried with no kids at my age. They have said worse, think about it,, they have used it to insult me. One more guy (single, no kids, 5years younger) that met me on the first day of school abroad.(those my years of happiness) who tracked me down like 2years ago, has recently upped his game realising I had other ppl interested in me, just as I am, warts and all
    .
    Each and every one of them treat me well, spend significant amount of time and material wealth on me, and no I am not using them. They are aware of my stance. The beauty of old age is not only being myself, no falsehood to pretend am wife material, but also being able to be blunt yet eloquent enough to emphasise to suitors that I regard myself as single till I am married. Therefore interested men will not be turned away. Also It is like the period I am least expecting marriage (horror she is too old!) is when serious minded men are coming around.. My ‘resting face’ is a smile with dimples. They say I do not look my age, do not hold a grudge for long and that I am so full of life.

    I too cannot fully explain it, all I know is I am not desperate anymore, have never gone for deliverance, and do not go anywhere I repeat anywhere that messes with my mind neither do I listen to ever single thing…nEVER aGAIN!! M y friends who got married, its a mix bag, a few are happy, some are unhappy but married a few are divorced. A few got married again. When we all hang out (I wear a ring to placate them) chances are that I immediately get someone chatting me up. I am living my best life and I havent even gone scuba diving yet nor discovered Greece.. lol.

    (I took time to take religion out of it, so that any depressed female soul of any religion who may read this, should know WE EXIST and are H A P P Y!

    I guess my point is this, I wish I that my 23 yr old self (breaking down in tears and snot at baptist church lateef jakande street,) had more outspoken well travelled women that told me that life continued after 40 for a single woman. An exciting life worth living!. All of them insinuated that a woman stops having sexual urges by 36 (Lie from the pit of hell.!), therefore have all your kids and if possible be a grandma by 40.
    Yes yes I know all the story about menopause and all.. If one needs children this is 2018 now o! Plus I am very much wiser to know that the only thing that is for sure,, is that we live alone and die alone. All other things, count it as joy!
    Sorry for the long read, bottom line you are born alone and you will leave alone, live your best life, as life is too dang short!

    peace

  19. Ify

    August 20, 2018 at 3:02 pm

    Gosh congrats and may God do it for us

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