Young, Fabulous and FLAT BROKE!

The allure of youth is a fabulous thing. High energy, zest for life and the unconquerable feeling that you can walk through a brick wall all by your sheer will and determination! Till this day my mother calls me ‘Miss Independent’. I earned that nick name because of my can do attitude. There is hardly a thing I set my heart on that I will not strive to achieve, regardless of who agrees with me on the matter or not. This is what the foolishness of youth does to you. It makes you feel invincible, like there is nothing you cannot achieve and no one that can stop you. However after a few years on planet earth you begin to learn that what your elders see sitting down you cannot even begin to imagine standing on a hill. You make your mistakes and learn your own path to wisdom.

Wisdom, this is a tricky thing. Some people are wise by default, possibly, after learning from experience. While others repeat the same mistakes over and over again and for one reason or the other never learn the salient lesson from their mistakes. Personally, I have learnt the hard way to live within my means. Days of over spending on credit cards only to find that Loui and Gucci cannot pay my food and light bill. So, today, if I see something I cannot afford, I just say to myself “one day, Glory, one day” and move along. But this was not a lesson I learnt easily. Not at all. There was a time when I would spend all my weekly earning in three days and live the remaining four days feeling miserable, vowing to be smarter the following week only to repeat the same mistake in record time!

So you can image how awkward I feel when I meet people whose financial outlook differs widely from mine. I remember during my previous birthday in Lagos, I was unemployed at the time so I warned all my friends before hand that they would have to pay for their own food. A lot of people thought I was crazy! Someone even suggested that I borrow money to celebrate my birthday in grand style or use the financial gifts I was given to throw some lavish soiree. I couldn’t understand the logic behind their advice, why would someone who is currently unemployed loan money off people just to throw a party, surely if I needed cash it would be for other important things. But apparently ‘keeping up with the joneses’ regardless of your financial standing is the order of the day for most young people today.

It still amazes me how people can pay five, even six or seven times for a pair of shoes or for a weave! Like really, are you kidding me? A friend of mine who sells clothes and hair is constantly complaining about how she has to chase people all round the 37 States (including FCT) of Nigeria to collect her cash. According to her, it is the so called ‘socialites’ that are the worst culprits. She recently told me about a particular customer of hers who is notorious for buying goods and disappearing for months on end. Recently, this customer bought a pair of shoes for N150,000 and told her she would send her driver the next day with the cash. True to her word, the driver arrived the very next day but instead came with a cheque for half the amount post dated for 6 months!

Another friend of mine recently threw her 30th birthday dinner at a popular location on the Island. Endless bottles of champagne and food for all! She must have had over 30 people present and she kept asking everyone to order as they wished on her. I thought nothing of it at the time, after all not all fingers are equal. Two days after the party, this same friend called and asked for a rather huge loan, which she would payback in monthly installments. I assumed she must have bankrupted herself after her lavish party and willing obliged her without asking many questions. Only to later learn that she had borrowed similar amounts from mutual friends’ months before and was yet to repay. When I approached her on the issue, she explained that she was trying to gather shopping money for her regular summer trip overseas and would repay all debts on her return. To say I was perplexed, would be an understatement. This is a girl, who has what I imagine to be a well paid job, and constantly has some designer gear straddled on her limbs. I couldn’t understand why she would need to live a life that was clearly well beyond her means.

It does seem that the average young Nigerian is more into appearances than anything else. Off course there is absolutely nothing wrong in looking good and enjoying the finer things of life. After all, why do we all break our backs seeking gainful means of employment? But I really do think some of us need to draw a finer balance between our priorities and the weight of our wallets. Our parents have the houses and cars we see today because they employed the simple rule of savings and investing, not because they spent the last dime of their pay cheque on a new car, and ate garri for the remaining 3 weeks. They managed to send us to good schools because many times they themselves went without the so called finer things in life. However, I think that despite the many sacrifices of the previous generations, our generation is more interested in ‘looking’ the part without doing the necessary work to get there. We, myself included, need to begin to review our priorities. How much are we saving? What is the proportion of our assets to liabilities? Are we living within our means or struggling to live in someone else’s contrived notion of how we should be living? Maybe its time we started thinking about buying land, stocks or investing our hard earned cash in places where we can draw some form of honest return. Adopting such principles not only ensure that we covered for the rainy day, but also help in securing our future. After all, being and remaining fabulous also involves thinking about the future as well as the present.

Photo Credit: cdn.hellobeautiful.com

120 Comments on Young, Fabulous and FLAT BROKE!
  • fashionnloverr June 9, 2011 at 9:42 am

    First? soooo true!This is hitting the nail on the head

    • Tosin June 10, 2011 at 1:04 am

      So so true… especially the part about investing in property, stocks and so on.

      I can help with that lol at least the properties part. If you ain’t got things to spend your money on, here is a video of some luxury contemporary homes in Lagos and did i mention that they are ‘affordable-ish’ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzlGNfaVA18

  • blcompere June 9, 2011 at 9:43 am

    This sure sounds quite familiar.

  • MizT June 9, 2011 at 9:44 am

    Omg! This is a wake up not just for me, but for my friends, but youth in general who, like me, wouldn’t think twice to put some ridiculous purchase on a credit card even though the amount of money in the checking account is less than half the purchase The Louis bag I was gonna put on my credit card can surely wait a few months until I can actually afford it! I must say thanks you Glory enlightened me.

  • chipsy June 9, 2011 at 9:48 am

    very correct..most of us still do this..infact i ve friends who havent paid their rent ..yet they re buying louis n gucci……..i love louis n gucci though…but i buy those after my rent n billls ve been paid for at least 8months in advance….so lets learn to balance it out

  • Emaje June 9, 2011 at 9:52 am

    Nice post. I needed this to remind myself to keep my spending habits in check.

  • tite June 9, 2011 at 9:52 am

    hummmmmmmm

  • Moi June 9, 2011 at 9:55 am

    On point!

  • Dominique June 9, 2011 at 9:56 am

    i cannot but agree totally with you Glory. Only last month did i actively (asides ‘making-mouth’ on end) do something concrete about it by taking the first step, which is, putting away (where i can hardly have access) a particular sum every month, at least for the next 1year, by then i would have wisely thought and narrowed my ‘venture’ to the best option. But my Dears, it isn’t easy o, not with the almost-visible ‘come-buy-me’ boldly etched on these fine-things-of-life, but determination plus hard-deprivation will get us there.

    • ogonna June 9, 2011 at 9:58 pm

      u r so on point! savin isnt easy but its worth it! esp whn u see friends flashin off stuffs around u dat u knw u cud afford if nt 4 ur savings…

  • justsayin June 9, 2011 at 9:56 am

    Good one Glory….soooo true!

  • amethyst June 9, 2011 at 9:59 am

    nice one! tis the reason why you gotta know your worth,stand for something if not u fall for anything.As it is the lagos culture of packaging and living beyond means i aint moved by what i see tho cuz at the days end its all an illusion!

  • Lola June 9, 2011 at 9:59 am

    You’ve spoken the truth!

  • Tyna June 9, 2011 at 10:00 am

    ….the amazing reality of a great majority of Nigerian youths… Absolutely clueless!
    Nice post.
    Cheers!

  • moi June 9, 2011 at 10:00 am

    First!!!

  • biola June 9, 2011 at 10:00 am

    first

  • precious June 9, 2011 at 10:00 am

    well said. wisdom is profitable to direct.

  • SHE June 9, 2011 at 10:01 am

    so true glory. we youths really need to rethink our priorities.

  • biola June 9, 2011 at 10:02 am

    how about borrowing money to throw a wedding. Asking your friends,groomsmen or bridesmaids to drop 50k eacj so you can throw a classy wedding reception. you see all sorts in this naija

  • moi June 9, 2011 at 10:05 am

    , now back to commenting proper! It’s amazing how shallow our lives have become. We have turned living in the present to living for the moment. I believe wat we need is d fine balance between wat our parents (most of them) did and wat is now known as d good life. Financially, it makes no sense to borrow above ur inflows. That is a sure recipe for bankrupcy or in the least insolvency. I jus hope we r not laying a worse foundation for the next generation. May God help us!

  • ufedo June 9, 2011 at 10:08 am

    i Agree with you glory. Most of us do live above our means. I guess we let the pressures of society(especially in Lagos) get to us and want to act like other ‘Big boys and Girls’ that we see.
    I know i live above my means but am subsidized by my parents so i dont think its much of a problem. Atleast until i find my feet afterall i just started working…. and Living above my means doesnt include designer stuff, no father of mine is paying that for me. lOl

  • jumai June 9, 2011 at 10:09 am

    true talk my sister…. if you cant afford it buy a cheaper one and make it look fab!!!
    nd all these people buying expensive weaves have forgotten they used to use cheaper ones before these new once came into fashion. na wa oooo

  • Karimah June 9, 2011 at 10:12 am

    Thanks Glory. I pray they all get to read this. It beats me when I see people doing bigs girls up and down and then come to borrow later. Like u said I see something I want but don’t have the money for, I tell myself, another day. Kapish

  • oppsie June 9, 2011 at 10:14 am

    first haha to u position huggers

    true talk,ride on.we so need reminders

  • FumzyO June 9, 2011 at 10:22 am

    Fantastic article! Spot on!

  • cln June 9, 2011 at 10:23 am

    Absolutely spot on! I like :-)

  • Kerosene June 9, 2011 at 10:26 am

    Very nice said!!
    And it’s also true that in our society today (also in the Western World) it is harder to apply as almost all attach importance to the superficial things in life.

  • deedee June 9, 2011 at 10:28 am

    WORD!!!

  • kekeli June 9, 2011 at 10:29 am

    1st? Maybe?….Omg, am becoming like them!!!!…I love this article by the way and I’m speakign as a young graduate who just landed a very good job with a side job somewhere else…nothing ticks me off worst than when my friends come a-borrowing because they trhink i must eb loaded adn thet need to get a pair of shoes just the MUST GET!!!!!Mtwwwwww

  • Samsie June 9, 2011 at 10:31 am

    Well said and well written.
    This disease can be also found in milder forms amongst the older generation though.
    Where a woman expects her children to keep her in the style and form of her peers especially when the children are in diaspora.
    With the young eventually the hard knocks of life puts them in their place.

  • Naef June 9, 2011 at 10:32 am

    i guess i am a culprit of spending all i have on a car, only because i didn’t have one. luckily i am still young and can redeem myself of this. and am surely not repeating it again

  • Chocho June 9, 2011 at 10:32 am

    Good question. Its happening everyday!!!

  • sorebel June 9, 2011 at 10:33 am

    Glory!!!!!!! absolutely on point!!!!!!! The amount of “fakeness” and “fighting to belong” in Nigeria is ridiculous. As in, my jaw dropped when I came back to the country last August and it has stayed open since then.
    People will snub you because your parents haven’t bought you your own honda 2011 model or brand new jeep. They don’t ask if your parents want you to realised the importance of earning your money and saving to buy what you need. I see girls at shoprite after work hours, obviously dying in their heels after 10 straight hours, but they will “rock” them till 10pm. Girl put on your flat sandals; if a brother is really interested in you, he will toast you even in flip flops.
    I see people who were so simple abroad (because the principle there is Keep it Simple Stupid), come home and are dressed to kill when they’re going to watch a movie or buy groceries. It is almost laughable.
    People that used the subway/tube and buses over there come back home and will sit in their air conditioned cars in Victoria Island traffic for four hours and be late to work or completely miss a meeting because they would not be caught dead in a bike from Adeola Odeku. Don’t get me wrong, our “fabulous” okadas are nothing like the sexy power bikes aborad, and I hate them, but really, when I have a 2pm meeting in Lagos Island, I leave my office on Muri Okunola at 11am and I’m still stuck on Ozumba Mbadiwe at 1.30pm, should I still be caring about what people will think if they see me on a bike?

    More real people like you in Nigeria. PPLLEEAASSEEE!

    • my day June 9, 2011 at 1:27 pm

      Gbam!! Your eyes are really open.

    • Allegra June 9, 2011 at 2:35 pm

      Tell em sista!!!

    • ibkshorty June 9, 2011 at 7:44 pm

      Meeeen, God bless you real good. You just spoke what I had in mind. Omg, Niaja peeps are ridiculously stupdi (If there is an english word like that).

    • rosebud June 9, 2011 at 8:36 pm

      so true!

    • Fortune 500 June 9, 2011 at 9:30 pm

      In my school in Britain some years back, there was this chap who barely managed to pay his school fees, and was put on some installmental payment plan by the Bursary Office on the pain of death that he pay up fully or he wouldn’t be allowed to graduate. The situation was so bad, that the chap left the city where our varsity was located, and relocated to a much bigger city so that he could get 2 better paying jobs. He only had an average of 2-3 classes a week, so this chap made a 1 hour commute via train to the University on lecture days, spent the night and returned till the following week.

      One of the jobs, this chap did was the famously known “freshen up.” For those who have lived in the UK, you know that most clubs or big bars have a steward/attendant manning the toilets. The steward had an assortment of sprays, perfumes, after-shaves and eau d’toilets arranged on a desk inside the toilet; some even stocked condoms and chewing gum. Whenever any customers or patrons used the loo and was about to wash their hands, the toilet steward would offer the customer to “freshen up” by offering him assorted hand creams to use or to spray any or some of the colognes on the table.

      Most oyibo customers liked to freshen up, especially female ones who went to the toilets to touch up their make-up after boozing and sweaty dancing. The customer would usually then give the steward a tip, usually 1pound. Some drunken oyibo customers have been known to give up to 10 or 20 pounds in their drunken stupor. However no Naija or Chinese customer would give you more than 1pound, unless your cologne was called “Weakness for Men” and the club had served ogogoro and vodka cocktails.

      At the end of the club night, the steward would calculate his overall takings and tips, and give the club a percentage (usually 20-30%). It was nasty work for some, but on good nights could pay up to 300pounds, which if you multiply by 5 days a week, is a decent sum to earn, albeit by spending time in toilets. It also helps that the bye-product of fish and chips is not nearly as bad as someone who has had lafun and bitter leaf topped with Star lager for dinner.

      I have all types of perfumes for that smell “worrying” you

      So this dude managed to make a tidy sum while working his “freshen up” job on exile. After some weeks, he decided he needed to travel to Nigeria to “floss” small. He quit his job, and spent a week thronging Zara, River Island, Hawes and Curtis, Charles Tyrwhitt and Cecil Gee buying shirts on discount. He also hit JJB Sports and copped a couple of sneakers and the latest Arsenal jersey for that season which he had inscribed with his name. His surname was longer than California’s governor’s now, so he spent quite a bit on the lettering.

      He then hit Naija for Christmas vacation – and was a regular presence at all the events- bent

      He returned to the UK flat broke in January, only to meet numerous demand letters from the school busary. Direct debits do not go on Christmas holidays, you see.

      When he came to beg me for a loan, he explained what had happened.

      I asked him why he travelled to Nigeria despite owing money up and down.

      He answered unashamed “Packaging. I had to represent in Naija now.”

      As at the time I graduated, he was still trying to pay off the remainder of his outstanding fees, and the school was threatening to downgrade his degree to a diploma.

      Packaging, the Nigerian one, epitomizes all that is wrong in our dear country Nigeria today. People put up an act, a façade, mystifying smoke of the Wizard of Oz proportions either to win contracts, execute contracts, gain admissions, climb social ladders, conduct business or relate with people.

      In Nigeria, there is no truth, only reality. And trust me, you don’t want to deal with human realities, expunging Godly truths. In the 2007 movie “The Last King of Scotland”, Forest Whitaker’s character Idi Amin tells James Mc Evoy’s character Nicholas the following chilling words “We are not a game, Nicholas. We are real. This room here, it is real. I think your death will be the first real thing that has happened to you…”

      Nicholas did not die eventually, but he was hung with hooks through his bare skin about 6 feet in the air. That was real too..

      You dont want to be broke with no investments or savings at age 40 in Nigeria. That reality murders the spirit. When your little kids starts nudging you like ‘Papa, I never chop since morning…’
      http://woahnigeria.wordpress.com/2011/01/17/packaging/

      • Anya Posh June 14, 2011 at 12:00 am

        hahaha @ papa I never chop since morning!

        These people living beyond their means are killing me…honestly it’s too funny. I’m telling you ‘money pass money’. The people you see doing it effortlessly, probably have enough stocked up for 2 generations down the line. Then you wey no get shishi, go dey use the one you sweat get, collect credit on top am!
        Abeg, my people…live within your means. Cut your coat according to the clotha

    • bimby June 10, 2011 at 11:14 am

      So true, it bother me a times when people see me riding on bike, the first thing they ask is where is your car, not even concern about my well being, as if am above people that can ride on bike…..anyway that is Nja for you

    • toni July 29, 2011 at 2:45 am

      its crazy naija is so fake like im terrified of ever moving back, wasnt raised there like screw the pocket books and shoes the personalities???? off the chain. fake fake fake

  • kekeli June 9, 2011 at 10:33 am

    Typos…I am speaking as a young graduate…nothign ticks me off worse than when my friends coem a-borrowing because they think i must be loaded and they need to get a pair of shoes that they MUST GET!!!!

    • socris June 9, 2011 at 9:34 pm

      so? who cares! we are not here to see typos…… haba! no one is perfect……

  • Kalista June 9, 2011 at 10:35 am

    I totally agree. The present society dictates how you should look, what bag to carry, what hair to have on, what events to attend, what social standing to have to be accepted. truth is there is a social circle for everybody there is no need to live beyond your means to be ‘accepted’. People don’t understand that the people you strive to get acceptance from can always see through the facade. I have a lot to say on this topic but I will rest. : )

  • sorebel June 9, 2011 at 10:38 am

    PS! totally cracked up reading about the chick that was had a lavish party at a restaurant and went about borrowing huge sums???!!!!! hahahahahhaa

  • jbk June 9, 2011 at 10:42 am

    Nice write up Glory.

  • ann June 9, 2011 at 10:47 am

    Spot on Glory!!! a lot of the 100 inches wearing babes should learn a lesson or two from this. There’s nothing wrong in weaves and all but most babes today, live a very false life then go a borrowing or sleeping with men to keep up. After all the “flashes in the pan” what next?

  • Ronke June 9, 2011 at 10:49 am

    Well said,am guilty of this too. I thank God am wiser now……

  • Oloju Come and Do June 9, 2011 at 11:28 am

    Truer words haven’t been said Glory.

    I’ve been tempted in more ways than one but I always put myself on check.

    As I speak I’m seriously saving up to buy my first land in Portharcourt and this is through a common pool scheme everyone can gain from. A group of friends come together to contribute say N100k every month- ideally 10-2 friends. Each month one friend picks the lump sum and invest in anything of her choice.

    It is advisable all the friends have a regular monthly income, are honest and trust worthy.

    Thanks for the reminder Glory…

  • dedicated website hosting June 9, 2011 at 11:30 am

    this really sounds good. i also wants to be Miss Independent but it is very difficult to be like that

  • Quintessentially Stylish by Paige June 9, 2011 at 11:33 am

    it’s so ridiculous how so many people are spendng money they do not have to impress people they do not really care about!

    http://care4curls.com
    http://quintessentiallystylish.com

  • ij June 9, 2011 at 11:37 am

    and the funny thing is that if you shake them up and down they can’t boast of 50k in their account and they never ever have call credit.
    i am not in any competition with anyone so I will not be oppressed by no one , when I come home for hols, i wear my flats and summer clothes like i would in the UK , i don’t get why should i dress differently just because I’m in naija .
    Acceptance ? what does that even mean really , why do i need to be accepted? and by whom ?
    Acceptance from fashion mag reading,all the events in Lagos going , 100 inch weaves wearing , shallow minded, fake lifestyle living so called fashionista mkpis with exceptional pinging & texting talents ? Debtors the lot of them!!!

    its simple
    you have – spend wisely
    don’t have- don’t spend at all

  • baberutty June 9, 2011 at 11:39 am

    hmmm, I’m a victim of these. I started a job in 2008 and was earning 3times wat i was been paid in my previous job. Every month I wud shop for clothings, shoes and handbags. Sometimes i wud even carryover some debts to the next month.I also didnt pay my tithe.I felt it wasnt important.This went on for years. Last year November i made a decision to put an end to it as I cudnt boast of 50k in my account. In january i had abt 250k @ d bank and I was very happy, thinking I had conquer it. Then before the end of the month the money was gone, all but 50k left. I started praying about it bcos I knew that it was a weakness that i had. I stopped window shopping and I stayed away from d boutiques which were close 2 my office. Now i have started paying my tithe as am closer to God and I understand from experience that I’m robbing God. I have also discussed with my account officers to withhold 80% of my income as I’m going back to school in January and my tuition is about 1.5m. I’m more focused on that now as its my top priority. If i continue spending my money on cloths, handbags and shoes, i wud affect my carreer. Experience they say, is the BEST teacher.

  • lola June 9, 2011 at 11:46 am

    Balance is important.
    I do have 20 inches hair, Louis bags and a car, however, I have a strict saving policy. 50k is put away every month , considering what I am earning now is about 25% of what I earn monthly.What ever is left I spend, if after all my expenses I have only 20k left for the month, that’s what i survive on. I gave myself a vacation as a birthday present this year, Cost me a lot of money but hey I have earned it….

  • iknow June 9, 2011 at 11:58 am

    But how come your friend is selling a pair of shoes for 150k though? Isn’t that robbery or are the shoes loubitins?

  • alabofa June 9, 2011 at 1:04 pm

    True talk, thanks for this article have really learnt a lot from it.

  • Purpleicious Babe June 9, 2011 at 1:49 pm

    Well done Glory very enlightend piece of article… You have manifested wisdom, I pray God will continue to uphold you and your values.

    I must say this article is needed and am grateful to God for helping me to know about all you have suggested, not many of us in our youths think of the future. I am glad am one of the few that think about the future and the need to remain saine, uptodate but aware of the need to save, invest and think about a secured future.

    Applying wisdom is what many have done to survive during the hardtimes whilst other people often wonder how they are surviving and why they never ask for help or additional financial help etc. This is mainly because they do not need to, for instance, My mum without a doubt has taught me lessons about the need of saving… I will share a story/testimony, while in Nigeria, my mum was one of the staff that got laid off by a well known bank in Nigeria. For five years she was unemployed until she came abroad, but during the five years she sent us to school, bought all we needed in schools paids school fees, food aka provisions, uniforms, books, allowances transporation etc.

    Although, we lived in boarding house, she did everything even when we came home and she still took care of relatives etc. All my mum kept on saying is God and the money saved, invested in shares etc . She saw into the future and kept aside money for our future needs and education. All glory belongs to God but I thank God for blessing my mum with such mentality to save and keep saving. She has taught me alot about life and how to depend on your resources rather than anyone or any man. It is important to never never feel the need to feel among when u clearly cannot afford the means to. I thank God that she saved and I know she does, trust me over here she has a jar of pennies that she keeps all the time lol. She deprives herself for stupid pleasures for the sake of something worthwhile with additional benefits. I am glad, I have the mentality she does and I pray am able to implement the lessons she taught me “never ever feel the need to do what everyone is doing, you dont know their secrets”.

  • sexyyou June 9, 2011 at 2:05 pm

    hmm, i learnt this by age 21 really. I can proudly say i was opportuned to work a great expatriate job for 5 years making around $10k per month. However the beauty of the money i made is that it was well invested. at 29, i am proud to say i own 4 houses outright, and 3 plots of land in prime areas in nigeria. @ the same time i didn’t deprive myself of the occasional LV or Gucci, but what i was able to do was work on a reward system for the bigger items. If it was my bday, or i bought a house, or i made a great investment decision, then i would set aside enjoyment money which was not more than 20% of my monthly check. I moved back to naija to earn 20% of my previous paycheck, and when i say i still save about 80 to 90% of that, not out of frugality, but simply as a habit. I look @ the shopping invites to events, i ignore them bcos it is not my lifestyle. I buy one bag very nice bag every 6 months ( i am proud to say my collection has hit maybe 11) and i keep it simple by buying timeless pieces and i re-rock the living daylights out of my stuff. I no send anybody message. What i am getting at is u are the only person that can dictate the pace of your life, no one else can do it for u. be it 100K naira per month or 5 million per month, u are the determinant of how far that money goes and how well u sleep @ nite. I personally do not like to owe anyone money, and the only basis for which i will owe anyone a dime is if i borrowed money to complete an investment, otherwise i dont go near it.
    If quality is ur goal in life, buy one instead of 10 items, and u will accomplish the goal of quality.
    Make urself into the woman u want to be. Material things are merely covers, build character first and all else will fall in place.

  • MsLuffa June 9, 2011 at 2:10 pm

    What Glory talks about here is a world wide issue. Enough folks putting everything on their credit card – imagine paying for the food you’ll eat on a credit card and not paying for it until a month later… That’s serious.

    For all the financial wisdom my father passed on to me, ojukokoro syndrome pushed me into making stupid decisions and falling for the debt culture.

    For some people image is everything and it gets worse when you have a reputation for looking good – scaling down from Armani to Primani is not easy.
    I have friends who i totally admire, they are not slaves to fashion or designers – i respect the way they rock their flea market finds with dignity looking hot at the same time.
    sometimes the people we hang out with influence us negatively to be what we are not – ditch the fake friends who encourage you to live a fake life.

    http://www.msluffa.wordpress.com

  • shhh June 9, 2011 at 2:15 pm

    hmmmm dis is so truei nid 2 send dis link 2 loads of ma friends… gals no dey try @ all

  • Allegra June 9, 2011 at 2:27 pm

    Well said. The problem is that this is not just a 9ja thing but a black problem world-wide. This has been famously documented multiple times where blacks and their consumerism have meant they actually spend more than they earn or have in assets. We would rather do with the weaves, nails, clothes etc than say buy a house. Simple economics needs to be taught from primary schools so that our youth are not indebted all their adult lives. Pity!!!

    • Tayo June 10, 2011 at 1:20 pm

      Inherent inferiority complex is part of our problem. We also haven’t progressed much along the continuum of maturity (to borrow from Covey).

      Maturity in individuals, groups, and societies evolves from dependence, through independence, till interdependence is achieved.

      We have hardly been able to mature as individuals, talk less of groups. Not to say it has been our fault though. The black man has been serially dehumanized over the ages, and it has done a lot of damage to the African psyche.

      Its like we say even if I am not white, i can live and enjoy my life like a white and even more than.

      Human worth is in potential not just in money and material stuff and everybody from the charcoal-black man in Kenya to the poor Sri Lankan to the sleek Canadian to the impoverished Bangledashi man has got it (in different proportions).

      Even autistic people have some value and the key thing to say is whether I am rich or poor, in Aba-made or Vera Wang I am precious and valuable.

    • Tayo June 10, 2011 at 1:22 pm

      What makes human beings WHAT they become is POTENTIAL. No condition is permanent. At any economic stage of life, every human being is eternally valuable.

    • Tayo June 10, 2011 at 1:23 pm

      What makes human beings WHAT they become is POTENTIAL. No condition is permanent. At any economic stage of life, every human being is eternally infinitely valuable.

  • shayo June 9, 2011 at 3:21 pm

    Spot on as always…………..

  • lil' apple June 9, 2011 at 3:38 pm

    Preach Glory Preach!

  • Godlovesme4me June 9, 2011 at 3:53 pm

    We, myself very much included, are all guilty of this either in the past or presently and I must say its really an “eye-opening”. Ofcourse I’ve learned my lessons as many others as well. Wisdom is definitely key and NOW is the time to save and keep money aside for the future. Invest in realistic ideas and spend wisely and not ridiculously. Hmmmm…its amazing how life situations can turn so quickly that we bite our finger nails in regret wishing we knew better. This post is for sure another level of “eye-opener” for me. Tho’ I dont level up with folks just to show off and become broke later but I sure need to save more and more for my family when I have one. The Lord help me to be more self-discipline. Nice write-up. Thanks Glory.

  • Thrifty June 9, 2011 at 4:57 pm

    Ma Mom always said “ife di nma adi agwu agwu” Yep — Fabulousity is a never ending affair- If you wait you will definitely get the better of both world. I live by that.

  • Tosin June 9, 2011 at 5:10 pm

    I loved this article and learned a bit from the comments too. Going to share now on fb and at Money Talk. Thanks BellaNaija.

  • ifeoma June 9, 2011 at 5:14 pm

    very nice article glory. u could not have said it any better. people! next time you have d sudden urge to keep up with d joneses, ask yourself who ur really trying to impress and what dose pple will think if dey ever found out u dont have shishi in ur account. Balenciaga will not put a roof over your head or keep u warm at nite. the most annoyin of pple living this pseudolife are those who dont even no y dey want luxury stuff or even the value. dey jst want it cos miss x has it n dey think its cool. i can still forgive those who actually know the value of these luxury goods but are too weak to resist. (which is what most of us are guilty of once in a while)

  • dorothy June 9, 2011 at 5:36 pm

    guilty as charged but so true. But lucky for me, i have been delivered but learnt the hard way to live within my means

  • Vicky Okuns June 9, 2011 at 5:47 pm

    As much as what you’re saying is true, this is no different than people living off credit cards. So I can understand someone needing a couple months or years even to pay for something. Yes, they’re living above their means but we all do it, well some of us apparently. To Allegra “a black problem world-wide”? GTFOHWTBS! i.e. Get The – Out Of Here With That -! Everything is NOT a black problem hiss!

    PS- Kudos to you on managing your money well! Thumps Up!

  • thetalkativeone June 9, 2011 at 5:51 pm

    Lol!!! Good! I feeling so clever, because this as of 1st June I have been investing like a mad woman and I have opened 2 seperate savings account with standing orders to my current account and pay cheque funds. And I still rock a bad ass weave and killer heels> BUT IS HAS NOT ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THAT! I learnt the hard way. God is good, He opened my eyes just in time! Phewwww

  • Edara June 9, 2011 at 6:37 pm

    GBAM!!!

  • Astounded youth June 9, 2011 at 6:40 pm

    WHat you guys are saying shocks me. I thougth the article was exaggerating until I saw the comment. I have never had that problem. I started working at the age of 16 and I have been doing so consistently for almost 13 years now. I dont overspend and I am VERY frugal. Nobody’s lifestyle intimidates me and I dont try too hard to belong. Well, I guess I am different then.

  • Maya June 9, 2011 at 7:23 pm

    Think I’ll definitely save this article…I’m absolutely guilty, but thankfully God has blessed me with a well paid job. I would never spend all my salary frivolously but I’m definitely guilty of not saving and investing enough. It’s the middle of the year and this has certainly served as a much needed reminder of priorities! God bless you Gloria, and good luck ladies who are trying to overcome these temptations!

  • Nefertity June 9, 2011 at 7:44 pm

    SPOT ON, but as true as this is, its definitely not easy……………what with the major fashion trends and all, but the ish is for people to know when to draw the line.

  • Cheta June 9, 2011 at 7:59 pm

    On point! Thanks for such a wise and inspiring article. Glory, do u have your blog? I love reading your articles.

  • maryam mohammed June 9, 2011 at 8:03 pm

    hard to be faboulous and broke
    Visit Face2FaceAfrica.com Together we can restore the image of Africa
    Twitter @Face2FaceAfrica
    Blog http://www.face2faceafrica.com
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAdoxOjAGl8

  • partyrider June 9, 2011 at 8:25 pm

    it boils down to self esteem and contentment!

  • rosebud June 9, 2011 at 8:48 pm

    wow Glory…from the few recent articles you’ve written, i’m beginning to have respect for you and your views… i’m glad you’re striking a balance between the real world which so many of us readers are in and the world of the ‘socialite’, ‘celebs’ and ‘red carpet’.you’re so on point with this…kudos to you and keep it up

  • omada June 9, 2011 at 9:40 pm

    i love you Glory!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • medina June 9, 2011 at 10:21 pm

    nicely written,
    some of us grew up with parents who put us right. It all starts with parenting, if u had a mum who forces ur dad to buy aso-ebi way above his income then you may encounter this ‘Big girl’ PROBLEM.
    I see alot of my friends who STRIVE to pay their house rents buying brand new cars!!!! (on hire purchase), they create alot of unhealthy environment for themselves and their family… their kids(not more than 3yrs old) attend kindergartens where dy pay 250k per term(pls why?) being bankers, they have access to soft loans and are left with nothing when their advances are paid. they are unable to save to build their personal house(in abuja, where rent is crazy) yet they embark on unnecessary vacations to the UK with as little as £200, yes £200 for spending with 2kids…its so sad, because i cant understand why they are trying so hard to belong to a particular level!!!!!!

    as for me, i avoid impulsive shopping,i budget for every item I need (as my Dad used to), i dont travel because its summer (afterall naija is summer all year round), but because a place interests me. my car is five years old and in perfect condition so, i wont change it because i want to impress pple i dont know!!! its about pple buying/doing things they dont need, with money they dont have to impress pple who they dont like!!

  • Lola X June 9, 2011 at 11:08 pm

    Good read!

    Lola x, London
    http://lola-x.blogspot.com

  • dami O June 10, 2011 at 1:09 am

    hmmmm someone is speaking to me here! i took after my dad as old as i am (24) i dont even have savings not even £50 every time i have money am always spending even when i was working , i was getting paid every two weeks yet i kept on spending and spending now i want to go for my Masters God knows how i will get the money to pay for my school fees (even though my parent can help me out but i guess they are teaching me a lesson) .. right now am pray for God to give me the grace to discipline my self when i have money i applaud my mum she has saved over 40k in pounds she could have bought cars latest designers but she closed her eyes and looked beyond all material things i wish to be like her very soon..

  • jennietobbie June 10, 2011 at 3:14 am

    Blackberry babes….where you at? I kid…I kid, but you slashed it as usual….honesty is the best policy!

  • kk June 10, 2011 at 4:01 am

    hmmm my dear amongst the younger generation late teens- early twenties this is NOT NEWS. i know a babe that buys heaven and earth all the designer in the word but ordinary PHONE BILL she cannot pay. As in some people need to stop embarrassing themselves, stop trying to please and chill out…am sure all of you know her sef..quite the popular one

  • Mary007 June 10, 2011 at 4:26 am

    This is topic that keeps coming up yet people will still keep up with the jones. The wise ones know themselves and the stupid ones keep buying fake designers stuff at ridiculous prices

  • Jan June 10, 2011 at 4:44 am

    I have always said moderation is the key. I’ve always been an advocate of saving for the rainy days ahead. When I tell people I save 90% of my monthly income, they find it hard to believe. I pay my tithe & never, ever attend any shopping event. If I see something I like for example @MNG, I simply snap a pic of d dress and send it to my younger sister to buy it at half d price.

    I only shop once a year when treating myself to vacation outside the country. Anyone who’s disciplined can save N1mn within a year.

  • marietta June 10, 2011 at 5:58 am

    Oh my Gosh!! this is sooo true, especially with nigerians!! preach:)!!

  • HRS OLUBUSOLA June 10, 2011 at 11:09 am

    Fntastic write-up, on point!

  • Dee June 10, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    So very true…BTW i dont think its proper for a comment on an article to be almost as long as the article itself.

    Guys lets always try to KISS it…Keep It Simple & Short

  • Nutella June 10, 2011 at 12:57 pm

    This article is so on point. Thank you Glory and God bless you for sharing.

    I graduated last year and after my convocation, i recieved lots of cash prizes running into millions for being the best graduating student in my school. I paid my tithes, settled my younger brothers, a few friends and family members and saved a large chunk, then invested the rest into a business that interested me at the time. I also told myself i would never be broke another day in my life. And in the event that i didn’t get a job immediately, i would become an employer of labour. I decided to pay myself 50k every month from my business and somehow, i got this side job which pays me 50k as well. Business has been so good that i conveniently started saving both salaries every month. I now have over 1 million bucks in savings (to the glory of God o..i am not boasting). It was really hard for me to get to that point, especially as it was expected that i would treat myself to trips and shopping sprees and stuff like that. But i had a plan for my finances and i didn’t want to hear any stories that i had become broke, bla bla bla.
    I have seen so many shoes, bags, clothes, cars, jewellery, phones and stuff calling my name and shouting “come and buy” at me. Most times, i really want to buy them but when i think of my goal, i wake up immediately. Business is booming, savings are growing, i still dress as nicely as i can, i still don my lace wigs and weaves (i sell them, so i have a few which are normally the free ones my suppliers give me for buying in bulk), i will not allow anyone pressurise or oppress me, they simply do not have my consent to do so. I will live within my means cos i don’t know the Joneses..they are not my cup of tea.

    I have a few friends who like to ask for credit and of course i do not oblige them, especially as i know they are already owing so many other people. You simply do not have to have this weave or dress or bag or shoe right now, you won’t die if you don’t get it. Besides, it is my business policy..no credit today, and there will be none tomorrow either! I don’t borrow and i hardly lend money because i don’t have the strength to fight. If i can’t afford it right now, a trendier version will be available when i can afford it. And even if i can afford it, if it is not my priority right now, sorry, i am not buying it. And yes, i treat myself to something nice every month, but i am simply not going to get caught up in all the fakeness of trying to belong. Belong to what??? I’d rather sleep peacefully at night knowing i can pay my bills, than have nightmares where i see people chasing me for their monies or live like a fugitive because i don’t know which of my creditors will be knocking on my door next. We should all take a cue from this article..very instructive and enlightening.

  • hayzelle June 10, 2011 at 3:05 pm

    True @ dis post n everyone’s comment! We ladies need to learn how be frugal our men will surely appreciate us that way.I keep telling my friends whatever you don’t have, you don’t need! There is no competition in destiny dat ur besty has doesn’t mean you must have too.
    Thumbs up Glory! Keep this kinda article coming always! We must really tackle some issues we ladies hv by hitting the nail on the head.

  • missy June 10, 2011 at 4:37 pm

    hmmn my parents donot condone borrowing infact they hate it like a plague….i remember when we were younger in primary school, my dad would give i and my siblings 5 naira as our snacks money and my mum would give us food to take to school..then we complained to my dad we felt he was stingy and all we compared him to others that give their kids 100 naira and also give them snacks and other things….do you know that it was due to my dad’s saving attitude that led him to bui three 3bedroom flats, build 2 schools in different areas in PH, build our personal house, buy 2 other land in Ph and send me and my siblings abroad…now my older siblings have graduated and i am graduating next yr…the first one is an enginner, the second just did his ist degree and is going back to do his second degree, i am in my final yr and my younger one is in his first yr we are all schooling in canada….
    i told my friend that i wanted to go back to nigeria this summer she told me not to go empty handed that i must have nothing less than $5000 in my acc where would i see that kind of money as a sudent? she said thati must have brazillian hair, a bb, an iphone, ipad and all them things mehn i just laughed @ her…..

    • miss miss June 10, 2011 at 11:50 pm

      I love ur comment…I ‘m from ph too…and am in 2nd yr in canada…lol my dad also gave me a little amount for pocket money in primary school, secondary school and even now he gives an reasonalble amount for me to live on..He always said too much money spoils a child

  • NNENNE June 10, 2011 at 8:54 pm

    The solution to all these is confidence and being strong-willed. I wonder when people will realize that the shoe or dress does not make you who you are. Confident people light up any room they enter, regardless of what they are wearing, how beautiful they look… There is more to life than outside beauty.(Am not saying that material things are bad). It pays to do what works for you because everyone is special in their own way.
    Every day of my life I keep blessing my mum for raising a confident child. How could I live, work with people of other cultures and still be myself without it?

  • Tboy June 10, 2011 at 11:38 pm

    Best article I’ve read in a minute. Doesn’t our actions say a lot about our nation? And yet, we keep complaining about our leaders.

  • nne June 12, 2011 at 10:48 am

    Its truelly becoming an issue i think alot has to do with the culture a lot of these youngsters bring back home as a result of their sourjorn oversees. Credit cards has been in bane of most of our citizens living abroad and when they come home its thesame story. Some cultures also encourage the fact that you dnt have any money to pay your childrens school fees but you rather borrow money to buy asuebi or throw a lavish party. and we are slowly passing that on to our kids. you see parents throwing lavish birthday parties for their kids trying so hard to surpass the next mother. Dnt get me wrong i think every child should and deserves a birthday party or celebration what happened to having a hand full of neighbours over for childs birthday or sunday school class or even school class whathappened to the simple things of life are we slowly raising selfish children who think the good things in life are a right not a priviledge. God help us all

  • Toyin June 12, 2011 at 8:13 pm

    Saving has never been difficult for me as I pay my college tuition out of pocket. If I don’t save money I earn from my job, I won’t be able to afford my tuition that semester…c’est fini! As a 21 year old, I also would like the finer things in life but, I know what my priorities are right now- getting a college education is number one on the list. Then again, i’ve never been the kind of person who is all that interested in brand names or the latest trends and stuff. I would never compromise my education for the sake of being in vogue.

  • Kike June 13, 2011 at 9:57 pm

    Finally cut ya coat according to the material you have not even size sef! lovely write up.
    I hope it serves as an eye opener to ojukokoro girls

  • Toriola June 14, 2011 at 3:48 am

    i blame our culture that tends to only celebrate appearances and not brains. we judge folks by what they are wearing/driving, etc and we dont care if they did money ritual so yeah it’s a cultural strategy or should i say its strategically cultural…half of thos useless big girls of lagos have all the LVs in the world and none of then can boast of $10,000 in their savings account.

  • msphareedah June 14, 2011 at 4:09 pm

    endorsed

  • show some love June 15, 2011 at 11:46 am

    wow, nice piece. very inspiring. I’m at that point in my life an dtrying to make amends

  • bcgeorge June 15, 2011 at 12:08 pm

    If you don’t earn it, don’t try to spend it.

    if you earn BEER salary, don’t try to live a CHAMPAGNE lifestyle…..na so #CRAZE dey start!

    Nice one GE..

  • :) June 15, 2011 at 12:12 pm

    “In your eyes I see insecurities
    Hidden under false exhibitions of confidence
    I can tell that even in your flamboyance
    You fear your debt will overwhelm you
    Nervous optic movements arise out of panic”

    Extracted from a poem I wrote when I moved back.

    I never understand lavish birthday parties thrown by force! Doesn’t make any sense to throw money you do not have away. I have had to contribute to someone’s birthday at the end to pay the restaurant and it was all hush hush among 4 of us that were guilty of the crime of calling ourselves friends. We had to split the bill for the entire party, that was so not in my budget. I had only come as a guest for a party that was “covered” by the host.

  • Young, Fabulous & God forbid brokeness June 15, 2011 at 12:58 pm

    This is so true!! To some image is everything forgetting that fact that the same ppl praising you for purchasing a pair of Louboutin shoes will be the same to forget you when something new comes into season. We need to learn to live according to our own standards!! Be wise!

  • Omonaikee June 15, 2011 at 3:39 pm

    you touched on a very hot topic there Glory, see all the comments! and well written too
    http://www.omonaikee.com

  • sleekiun June 16, 2011 at 2:21 pm

    This is a serious issue o,i am so guilty of this……GOD! i am so indebted, i dont even know where to start,the debts make me feel miserable and its even affecting my Complex,especially when i see people i am owing.Thanks Glory, God help me>>>

  • Pretty diva June 16, 2011 at 2:26 pm

    So true…….i have decided to cut my cloth according to my material not size! Austerity measures oh n peace of mind!

  • Laajman June 16, 2011 at 9:05 pm

    Omo, this thing is real and not limited to blacks, oh. It boils down to discipline really.
    In my short time, I can say – with conviction- that winning the battle with/over yourself is your largest achievement.

    I went to a store and saw a Ralph Lauren suit on sale. I must commend myself for resisting the temptation. I have three suits in my w’robe that I have never worn. And the funny thing is I dont even have to wear suits to work.

    It easy to get indebted, especially with credit cards and un-ending “sales” in North America. Only self-discipline can save you!

  • Oluwasayomi endowed June 17, 2011 at 12:27 pm

    This is a very nice piece Glory,u’ve really hit the nail on the head.
    There are so many people living fake lives while some people can barely have 1 meal a day and i’m not reffering to beggers,there are people who have not received their salaries in months cos of the financial situation their employers are going through.
    Back to the issue if u have money to spend remember to save wisely also teach kids around u to save and not to blow their allowances and cash gifts on recharge cards and movie tickets.LV Gucci brazillian peruvian weaves don’t pay rent or build houses neither do they pay school fees.

  • Naomi Lucas June 19, 2011 at 12:39 pm

    This is a beautiful write up. Makes complete sense!

  • UjuG June 24, 2011 at 3:12 am

    This article is so Point on .. I personally believe that people who take extreme measures to please, intimidate or compete others are fighting some serious self-esteem issues .. no amount of advice will help those ones .. they need serious therapy .. lol .. but if a person decides to get something really expensive because they want it and can afford it, that’s understandable.. but if you go above your means to get it, you seriously have issues too ..lol.. and who says you have to wear designers, brazillian, and all of the rest to look good? if you have insanely expensive stuffs then you are a big boy or girl? really?… if people refuse to associate with you because they believe you are not on same “level” with them, then you should be happy because those are the kind of people you don’t even need in your life .. fake people= money come, friends come … materialistic and superficial .. there’s more to a good friend/company than physical appearance! :)

  • smiles June 24, 2011 at 6:49 pm

    this is soo true…. i guess we r alike. i look at my friends at times and wonder y on earth they will borrow money/take a soft loan to get shoes/bags/cloths/brazillian and stuffs like dat.. its so ridiculous… i really dont know what to call it. like some ppl said, maybe its a case of self esteem? but i go by the sayin ‘its not the cost of what u wear, its how u carry it’ . i indulge myself every month, i av a fixed amount i spend on myself (as gift) every month and i try to stay within that range… and most times, when i wanna buy smtn, i ask myself, do i NEED dis tn? or do i jst want it? most times, we find out that the thns we buy, we dont really need dem, we jst want them.
    il suggest yto ppl, if u wanna talk a soft loan to get smtn, make sure wot u r getting is an asset (and NO, a car is not an asset), a simple defn of an asset is smtn that appreciates wit time.
    pls lets learn a savings habit. lots of ppl today av fancy jobs, living a fancy job, but if they lose their job today, dey will have nothing to fall back on.
    (sorry for d long story….)

  • toni July 29, 2011 at 2:36 am

    God bless you, the smartest article i have ever read on bella naija. nigerian females..well most nigerian females are fake and try too hard to keep up with the “adebayos” if you aint got it you just aint got it why u got to lie to kick it smh im so glad i didnt grow up in lagos insecurity complex woulda been ruined me.

  • oyinda August 2, 2011 at 9:41 pm

    soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ttrrrruuuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • Chukwudi August 9, 2011 at 11:19 am

    Glory you hv blessed my soul and trigal alots of comments that have change my thinkin now as nija boy from a poor background gainin popularity in a shopping mall and get stranded in few days. Some one said it simple if u have spend wisely, if you don’t have dont spend at all thanks to you all. Another said no one plans ur life execpt u by saving and investment some time friends do things that prompt us to do like them but determination and sense of direction from today till remaing six months of my service year i will invest no matter how little is better than buying blackberry, suits,ties, perfumes and shoes the ones i have now didnt add one naira to my bank account now the 19800 naira FG paid is finished in less than a week now they have paid arries infact i need help from any of you to plan my allowance for the rmaining six months of my service year. Thanks facebook chukwudi anusionwu God bless

  • Gorgeous August 22, 2011 at 5:36 pm

    na wa o, onigbeses lol

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