Over 30 years ago, I was born to Mr. and Mrs. X. For many years, I didn’t know the difference between the two of them. I only called them mum and dad – my parents! A couple of years later, I learnt that one is a woman while the other is a man. One has long straight hair, while the other has short kinky hair. In time, I observed more of their varying qualities i.e. Mr. X demanded good grades from me, while Mrs. X was more concerned about my intake of a balanced diet. Mr. X loved me deeply while Ms. X smothered me with her love. Mr. X is super calm by nature; almost nothing fazes him, while Mrs. X worries a lot – even about the slightest little detail.
Mrs. X who is now retired, worked as an administrator, and Mr. X is a very driven doctor. While Mrs. X worked locally and came home to look after me each day after a hard day’s work, Mr. X mostly travelled the world in pursuit of his medical career and of course, to put food on our table. All in all, I spent more of my early days with Mrs. X than I did with Mr. X.
In addition to all the love, care and support I enjoyed while living under the same roof as Mrs. X, I also learnt some key virtues, which I will be eternally grateful for. Amidst all these great qualities, I learnt the art of worrying and fretting! Since Mrs. X was so good at both, and both were very contagious, I got them too.
I would worry about details such as the plumber not showing up at the appointed time, the milk going stale, my boyfriend’s unreturned phone call, a pimple, the news of armed robbers in the city, upcoming examinations, the works! Alongside these qualities, I was a Super Master Planner – I planned each day of my life ahead of time. I knew when to wake up, take a bath, graduate, work, get married, have twin babies, grow old and of course sign out at the ripe age of a 100! Little did I know that God had a separate plan for me! Now, instead of being the renowned interior designer that I initially planned to be, I am a lawyer. Can you beat that?
Anyway, Law School was in another state, different from where I grew up. Luckily, Mr. X was working there at the time therefore I had free accommodation, and the opportunity to spend more time with him – and I sure did. At first, when things wouldn’t go as planned i.e. I ended up in Law School instead of Interior Design School, I started to freak out. Then Law School turned out to be a little tougher than I had envisaged. This gave me ample opportunity to worry, and I felt justified for doing so. I’d run to Mr. X to complain but all I heard from him was “don’t worry” or better still, “relax”. Relax? Did he hear anything about what I said? My life wasn’t going as planned and he was asking me to relax! After several months of life’s surprises and continuous reassurance from Mr. X, I found that indeed and I started to relax. I began to realise that worrying and fretting doesn’t fix things. Instead, it does all harm and no good.
Subsequently, when things seemed to be crashing down and I couldn’t fix them, I would step aside to give room for safe landing. Strangely, they hardly ever did crash. I started to believe that LIFE REALLY IS BEAUTIFUL for as long as one is looking at it the right side up and not upside down! I began to focus only on the great stuff – all the things that were working well in my life – and I ditched the things that made me upset because they weren’t working quite as well. Some call it a delusion; I call it living the life! I started to be more open-minded about life, and I invented Plan B – Z just in-case Plan A didn’t work so well. Yes, all thanks to the nurturing of Mrs. X, and the wise counsel of Mr. X who taught me how to relax, I am one happy-go-lucky lady!
Funny, my initial plans have all been altered. I am not where I thought I’d be; I’m actually better off. Secretly, I know, some might think I can be nonchalant about lots of important details but it’s not quite true. I only choose to turn my back on things that I can’t fix, after having tried my best without luck. Instead of wearing myself out, I simply leave it all to God and move on to the next! I watched Mr. X keenly over the years, and especially during the times we spent together, and I developed nothing but great admiration for him. He has a great zest for life and enjoys living every single minute! He isn’t bothered about the little things, and even many of the big things. He is a blind optimist and strangely, all things work well for him. Without worrying, fretting and freaking out, Mr. X has moved a handsome number of mountains! I figured I could do the same. After all, it is the easier way out. Little input – BIG output. Isn’t that what we all want?
Today, I have been through so many challenges in my private, social life, and corporate life. I have been disappointed, I have been hurt, hated, insulted. Many things haven’t worked according to my initial plan however I’ve learnt to take things in my stride, regardless. Why worry over things you can’t fix or are totally out of your control anyway? Much as I love both Mr. and Mrs. X to smithereens, I seize this opportunity to give it up for Mr. X. I thank him for teaching me how to relax. Why worry?
With love from Miss. X!
Photo Credit: http://elev8.com
Father’s Day is around the corner. We at Bellanaija.com would love to celebrate Father’s all around the world with special tribute pieces. Do you have a special tribute feature to celebrate our fathers? Or are you a father who would like to document your experience of fatherhood i.e. the first time you held your child in your arms, playing sports with your kids, e.t.c? Please email your ideas to [email protected] before June 16th 2011.