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With Love from Miss. X!

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Over 30 years ago, I was born to Mr. and Mrs. X. For many years, I didn’t know the difference between the two of them. I only called them mum and dad – my parents! A couple of years later, I learnt that one is a woman while the other is a man. One has long straight hair, while the other has short kinky hair. In time, I observed more of their varying qualities i.e. Mr. X demanded good grades from me, while Mrs. X was more concerned about my intake of a balanced diet. Mr. X loved me deeply while Ms. X smothered me with her love. Mr. X is super calm by nature; almost nothing fazes him, while Mrs. X worries a lot – even about the slightest little detail. 

Mrs. X who is now retired, worked as an administrator, and Mr. X is a very driven doctor. While Mrs. X worked locally and came home to look after me each day after a hard day’s work, Mr. X mostly travelled the world in pursuit of his medical career and of course, to put food on our table. All in all, I spent more of my early days with Mrs. X than I did with Mr. X.

In addition to all the love, care and support I enjoyed while living under the same roof as Mrs. X, I also learnt some key virtues, which I will be eternally grateful for. Amidst all these great qualities, I learnt the art of worrying and fretting! Since Mrs. X was so good at both, and both were very contagious, I got them too.

I would worry about details such as the plumber not showing up at the appointed time, the milk going stale, my boyfriend’s unreturned phone call, a pimple, the news of armed robbers in the city, upcoming examinations, the works! Alongside these qualities, I was a Super Master Planner – I planned each day of my life ahead of time. I knew when to wake up, take a bath, graduate, work, get married, have twin babies, grow old and of course sign out at the ripe age of a 100! Little did I know that God had a separate plan for me! Now, instead of being the renowned interior designer that I initially planned to be, I am a lawyer. Can you beat that?

Anyway, Law School was in another state, different from where I grew up. Luckily, Mr. X was working there at the time therefore I had free accommodation, and the opportunity to spend more time with him – and I sure did. At first, when things wouldn’t go as planned i.e. I ended up in Law School instead of Interior Design School, I started to freak out. Then Law School turned out to be a little tougher than I had envisaged. This gave me ample opportunity to worry, and I felt justified for doing so. I’d run to Mr. X to complain but all I heard from him was “don’t worry” or better still, “relax”. Relax? Did he hear anything about what I said? My life wasn’t going as planned and he was asking me to relax! After several months of life’s surprises and continuous reassurance from Mr. X, I found that indeed and I started to relax. I began to realise that worrying and fretting doesn’t fix things. Instead, it does all harm and no good.

Subsequently, when things seemed to be crashing down and I couldn’t fix them, I would step aside to give room for safe landing. Strangely, they hardly ever did crash. I started to believe that LIFE REALLY IS BEAUTIFUL for as long as one is looking at it the right side up and not upside down! I began to focus only on the great stuff – all the things that were working well in my life – and I ditched the things that made me upset because they weren’t working quite as well. Some call it a delusion; I call it living the life! I started to be more open-minded about life, and I invented Plan B – Z just in-case Plan A didn’t work so well.  Yes, all thanks to the nurturing of Mrs. X, and the wise counsel of Mr. X who taught me how to relax, I am one happy-go-lucky lady!

Funny, my initial plans have all been altered. I am not where I thought I’d be; I’m actually better off. Secretly, I know, some might think I can be nonchalant about lots of important details but it’s not quite true. I only choose to turn my back on things that I can’t fix, after having tried my best without luck. Instead of wearing myself out, I simply leave it all to God and move on to the next! I watched Mr. X keenly over the years, and especially during the times we spent together, and I developed nothing but great admiration for him. He has a great zest for life and enjoys living every single minute! He isn’t bothered about the little things, and even many of the big things. He is a blind optimist and strangely, all things work well for him. Without worrying, fretting and freaking out, Mr. X has moved a handsome number of mountains! I figured I could do the same. After all, it is the easier way out. Little input – BIG output. Isn’t that what we all want?

Today, I have been through so many challenges in my private, social life, and corporate life. I have been disappointed, I have been hurt, hated, insulted. Many things haven’t worked according to my initial plan however I’ve learnt to take things in my stride, regardless. Why worry over things you can’t fix or are totally out of your control anyway? Much as I love both Mr. and Mrs. X to smithereens, I seize this opportunity to give it up for Mr. X. I thank him for teaching me how to relax. Why worry?

With love from Miss. X!

 Photo Credit: http://elev8.com

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Father’s Day is around the corner. We at Bellanaija.com would love to celebrate Father’s all around the world with special tribute pieces. Do you have a special tribute feature to celebrate our fathers? Or are you a father who would like to document your experience of fatherhood i.e. the first time you held your child in your arms, playing sports with your kids, e.t.c? Please email your ideas to [email protected] before June 16th 2011.

44 Comments

  1. vixen

    June 9, 2011 at 10:38 am

    fabulous….i love my mr u to pieces….n first!!!!!…thnx yall!

  2. baberutty

    June 9, 2011 at 10:41 am

    Mr. X was right. Worrying and freting does no good.

  3. WaleAdeniji

    June 9, 2011 at 10:59 am

    I just love this piece. Sometimes we just have to relax and achieve what we can achieve and leave those ones that seems not achieveable. We can achieve absolutely nothing by allowing worrying to kill us. The best to do is to surrender all the worries to the creator Himself and that is God.

  4. tite

    June 9, 2011 at 11:43 am

    i know and hear it every day that worrying is a sin …..hum i just don’t no how i fine myself going back to it once or twice ,hummmmmmmmmm lord i need strength not to worry.

  5. Fab junkie

    June 9, 2011 at 11:45 am

    Women are made to fret. The balance (d woman fretting n d man relaxing) is wat makes a home work.
    http://www.fabuloucityjunkies.com

    • DIVAZU

      June 14, 2011 at 12:43 pm

      lol…i like!

  6. Clickmama

    June 9, 2011 at 11:49 am

    I happen to know Mr. X and wow what a great tribute. He would be so proud…

  7. VirtuousKelly

    June 9, 2011 at 11:55 am

    True I love Mr A…

    We may not always get to spend as much time together due to the fact that we live in different countries…But He is the best…

  8. IamSassyChic

    June 9, 2011 at 12:23 pm

    Great piece, I am loving it
    http://www.iamsassychic.com/

  9. Mat

    June 9, 2011 at 1:03 pm

    love the stuff , worrying has no room in life.
    Mat from Tanzania

  10. http://dakkylove.blogspot.com/

    June 9, 2011 at 1:35 pm

    Worrying doesn’t help anyone…let’s be realistic with Life and try to work through the negative aspects, ignoring them wont make them go away either. Life is balance ,focus and spirituality.

  11. fiona

    June 9, 2011 at 1:39 pm

    This uplifted my spirit. i needed to read this today.

  12. Purpleicious Babe

    June 9, 2011 at 2:07 pm

    I cannot say I have learnt anything in particular from my MR X but I thank God for the strentgth of Mrs Y and I thank God that although I adopted the worrying and fretting approach, have since left them behind and growing stronger through the help of my only faithful father (God) and in doing so have taught Mrs Y to calm down too…

    Thank God I have a relationship with him who is my only MR X.. so happy fathers day to MY one and only father… My KING…. THE PRINCE OF PEACE…

  13. Ytee

    June 9, 2011 at 2:18 pm

    I love my Mr M.K.O. Too! The best dad in the world who together with his perfect partner make me feel secure no matter how old I am.

  14. lola

    June 9, 2011 at 2:42 pm

    relax, relax, relax, i like that.worry has never solve any problem, so mr x is tatally right.

  15. Ola

    June 9, 2011 at 3:30 pm

    Time for all of us without dads to get depressed… just kidding!! the Father of the fatherless is the bestest dad in the world. Love Him!

  16. NNENNE

    June 9, 2011 at 5:15 pm

    My mother was Mrs X personified. I grew up to be a Ms X but as I get older maturity has kept creeping in. I have come to realize that worrying changes little . I cannot say that I am totally laid back . Like the writer I always have plan B-Z in place. My key word now is ” one day at a time”, with plan B-Z at the back of my mind. Believe me it works.

  17. Didi

    June 9, 2011 at 5:25 pm

    Great piece n so true too,realy nid b more carefree n i secretly admire those who r tho they used 2 freak me out smtime ago e.g my Mr X.

  18. Alake

    June 9, 2011 at 6:59 pm

    My Mr X is very much like your Mr X,his easy approach to life is amazing!
    My Mr X got me a book two years ago ‘don’t sweat the small stuff’ and I still thank him for it because really we shouldn’t sweat the small stuff.

    I love my Mr X

    Very well written Ejire

  19. maryam mohammed

    June 9, 2011 at 8:02 pm

    love works in crazy ways…
    Visit Face2FaceAfrica.com Together we can restore the image of Africa
    Twitter @Face2FaceAfrica
    Blog http://www.face2faceafrica.com
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAdoxOjAGl8

  20. prudy

    June 9, 2011 at 8:19 pm

    it takes a great number of muscles to cook up a frown, but just with a couple of muscles(2), a radiating smile is done. so why worry so much about life, if so, which one will our Father in Heaven worry for us?

  21. ego

    June 9, 2011 at 8:20 pm

    Good piece. You almost sound like me there.

  22. partyrider

    June 9, 2011 at 9:01 pm

    mumc is a single mum,i saw my dad last about 16yrs ago,den i really didnt know anything,not until recently i saw his pic dat i even know how his face looks like.didnt grow up with the presence,love and attention of a father,but mum was and is the father that wasnt there and d mum dat has always been there..
    however i do know how awesome some dads could be,from friends and family,and i’ve had some of dem treat me like their own daughter..so to all the amazing dads out there,loving their family and teaching their kids not to worry but relax,may God bless you all..however,recently started talking to my dad,he has bin supportive ,so S/O to him too..i love him 🙂
    and hey,i have d bestest dad in heaven.i’ve learnt not to worry about things i cant change but to just trust Him.
    #okbye

  23. Lola X

    June 9, 2011 at 11:08 pm

    Good read!

    Lola x, London
    http://lola-x.blogspot.com

  24. tari

    June 10, 2011 at 12:08 am

    an interesting one indeed

  25. jennietobbie

    June 10, 2011 at 3:02 am

    I shivered when I read this….this is EXACTLY me, Mr X and Mrs X just without the Law and Interior Design part.

    God…God has a beautiful way of speaking to all of us…finally, I GET IT!!!!

    Thank you dad and mum. You are the most beautiful gifts from God….

    thank you Miss X (Ejire). God spoke to me through you

    Love you all BN Team! Outstanding group of people xoxoxo

  26. Nikki

    June 10, 2011 at 4:56 am

    i love! thanks…the article was written just in time…iv been fretting a lot lately..life, relationship, exams. A close friend told me last week,to relax more often… that all the things i fret about usually turn out great afterall…..so what’s the point worrying and fretting especially about things you cant change???!!!

  27. Nneka

    June 10, 2011 at 5:56 am

    Lovely! Happy Fathers Day to all Mr Xs!

  28. triple a

    June 10, 2011 at 8:16 am

    wow, you are talking to me, because as i am typing i have been worrying over loss of job, relationship, school, and life in general. Sometimes i think i’m the one with the greatest problem in life. As much as i focus on God it seems i go back to my vomit, but i guess this is just an affirmation through your write up that i should relax and keep on.

  29. teeny

    June 10, 2011 at 10:38 am

    i hate mr. i

  30. bluebubbles

    June 10, 2011 at 4:09 pm

    I wrote my feature.hope it makes it to bellanaija.I’ve bin trying to contribute to this fab online mag.

  31. missy

    June 10, 2011 at 4:16 pm

    i love my MR J…he is the best daddy ever…ily daddy xxx

  32. dee

    June 10, 2011 at 9:12 pm

    love it!

  33. pamhe

    June 11, 2011 at 5:19 pm

    yup lets’ give it up for our dads..sometimes it feels like they don’t get enuff credit.Luv u mucho Prof.A!

  34. Adela

    June 13, 2011 at 8:49 am

    And this goes out to Bob…my one & only Mr. X whose no1 motto is simply: RELAX. 🙂

  35. Obi

    June 14, 2011 at 7:15 pm

    My Mr did more worrying than Mrs, but either way … I’m eternally grateful I learnt how to maintain a good balance though sometimes the balance tips. I love my Mr!! and the Mrs too … both to bits.

  36. Sharon

    June 21, 2011 at 1:41 pm

    Very nice one

  37. shola

    June 21, 2011 at 2:04 pm

    lovely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  38. mRo

    July 5, 2011 at 11:36 am

    i love my daddy and baby daddy

  39. igbofille

    July 6, 2011 at 11:50 am

    I love my Mr. N and Mrs. N to bits. They made me to know God better. I remember admiring them as a child and feeling they were spotless and would go to heaven if Jesus comes but me I didnt know if I would go to heaven back then because after confessing my sins to God I still found myself fighting with my brothers and doing those childish stuff. But my Mr. N kept on encouraging me till I understood the salvation of Jesus Christ in my life at a very tender age. He is the best pastor to me. My mrs. N is a very stong independent woman that disciplined me so much as a child. Now that I’m older I understand her better when I see me behaving like her or thinking like her in some areas. I hope to be a great Mrs. Godknowswhat when the time comes.

  40. Halima

    July 10, 2011 at 5:22 pm

    Nice piece..
    Im proud of my dad too as much as he used to worry about me alot, my mum was the strong one never worrying kind. But my dad pushed me to where i am today…I just thank God for both of them>

  41. oyinda

    August 2, 2011 at 9:36 pm

    worrying truly does no good.
    wonderful article
    well dne bella naija and miss X

  42. bukky

    November 21, 2011 at 11:25 am

    i love my Mr D and my Mrs M.

  43. Lara Lance

    March 15, 2013 at 9:12 am

    Good piece Ejire. Keep holding on to the great lessons learnt from Mr and Mrs X……..

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