I was with my friends recently, and we reminisced over secondary school days. We considered the students who were rude to teachers, aggressive and communicated poorly and how they were deemed as brave; those who cried or worried about anything were most times seen as weak.
Subconsciously, what we saw as childhood jokes have become a lifestyle for many. People think emotional intelligence is showing no emotion at all or being overly transparent with your feelings. And who can blame them really? How many courses did they teach in school about emotional intelligence?
When I started doing my research, I found that a good number of young professionals rarely possess all three pillars of success, which are IQ, EQ, and AQ. Budding entrepreneurs are said to be fast learners and resilient, but they unfortunately often fail to understand and regulate their own emotions, especially in business environments. Business environments are usually unpredictable and fast-paced; you must be self-aware to succeed. Self-awareness leads to self-regulation, which is often shown in people with a high EQ.
Are you self-aware? Are you open about how you feel? Are you able to control your tone and pinpoint your strengths and weaknesses easily? Well, you can easily be described as an emotionally intelligent person. Here are a few more tips for spotting emotional intelligence.
No Tolerance for Negative Thinking
As humans, it is very normal to let our thoughts guide us. In short, internal monologues are very important. But a key thing done by emotionally intelligent people is halting negative thoughts. The minute that doubt, fear, or low self-esteem appears, they stop it in its tracks. They understand the power of thoughts and know that a thought is not necessarily a fact. These people are usually at peace with their past and forgive themselves for mistakes easily. Now, this is very important because in business, mistakes are bound to happen, and you must be your own cheerleader. You must ensure that you have a positive outlook at all times and that you believe in yourself.
Great Listeners & Great Social Skills
Have you ever noticed that you somehow make every conversation about you? That you listen to reply and not necessarily understand? This might mean that you’re not very emotionally intelligent. Emotionally intelligent people know that “hearing” and “listening” are two different things. They rephrase a person’s statements in the form of a question to make sure nothing got lost in translation. They understand the importance of communication, and allow room for the other person to speak before they reply. Have you heard people say they don’t talk much to strangers? Or people who say go overboard and become a totally different person in front of strangers? Well, that’s a sign of low emotional intelligence. Emotionally intelligent people are usually great at networking and people tend to be drawn to them.
Accepting & Tolerant of Diverse & Varied Opinions
They understand that there is power in diversity. You can never catch an emotionally intelligent person who is racist or tribalistic. They also tend to trust people, and this makes for great leadership. Business decisions are usually team decisions, not a one-man decision. How a customer is treated when things go wrong has an impact on whether or not the person continues to be your customer; an emotionally intelligent leader understands this and makes adjustments for customers where possible.
Perceptive & Aware
I smile every time I talk or write about this, because this is one of my gifts. It is so useful as a business person. People with high EQ sense body language and expressions more than words. This, however, does not mean that you try to please people based on body language. People with high EQ are willing to say no where they have to. They don’t have a problem setting boundaries and are very self-aware in tough or heated situations. They always evaluate their emotions and regulate how these emotions are being projected.
The way you are brought up can have an effect on the level of EQ you possess, but you have the power to improve your emotional intelligence and ensure that it does not affect the growth of your business.