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“Refusing your spouse sex is dangerous and is not supported by God” – Freeze shares his Thoughts on Pastor Adeboye’s Statements

BellaNaija.com

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AY LIVE Happiness Edition 2015 BellaNaijaFREEZE

A couple of weeks ago, RCCG General Overseer Pastor Adeboye shared a sermon that got people talking on social media. In his sermon, which was to some single people in his congregation, he referenced the ability of a woman to cook and pray as one of the criteria for marriage.

Taking to his website, OAP Freeze has weighed in on the trending topic.

He says:

This week, I got so many emails and DMs asking for my opinion on Pastor Adeoye’s message about marrying a woman who can’t cook etc. This, being a spiritual issue cannot be tackled with my usual ‘fayose’ approach, as I needed to hear from God first.

There were four main issues raised and I will try my best to address all. I wasn’t in the service and I am relying on the emails and DMs as a point of reference.

The only part of the message I agree 100% with, is that no one should marry a man or woman who can’t pray for 1 hour straight. The bible instructs us in the book of 1st Thessalonians chapter 5 verse 17 to “pray without ceasing”. In as much as we like to operate under the assumption that we control our own lives, in my opinion, the greatest part of our lives is controlled by external forces. Let’s take the instance of former president Olusegun Obasanjo who was a free man in 1996, by 1997 he was imprisoned for treason, by 1998 he was released from prison after the sudden death of Abacha and by 1999 he was president of the federal Republic of Nigeria. If in 1996, Obasanjo had known he was going to be in prison the following year, he probably would have gone to sew prison uniform, awaiting his conviction. Also if in 1997, with a life sentence hanging around his neck, he had known that in a little over a year he would become president, he would have made adequate preparations, but guess what? Life happens. I remember having a chat over drinks with my boss Mr. Moussalli, who told me that he used to stay in Nice, when Lebanon was being bombed because it was safe and calm. Who would ever have guessed that Nice itself was going to be the scene of a gruesome terrorist attack about a month ago? So wisdom doesn’t guarantee safety and strength doesn’t guarantee bread. (Ecclesiastes 9:11) Even the strongest man and the richest man in the world put together cannot control a hurricane.

“When life happens during your race, you will need a sufficient amount of grace!”~FRZ

This Grace can only be received through ceaseless prayer!

Talking about marrying a woman that cannot cook is another kettle of fish entirely, as I do not see why this is a criteria for marriage in 2016. If your woman can’t cook you have many options which include teaching her, hiring a cook, cooking your own meals or eating out and each has its own distinct and enjoyable flavour. Imagine serving your woman a meal in bed on a Saturday morning, she would gladly retaliate with a favor ‘wink’.

About marrying a man that has a job I can’t disagree more, especially coming from a man of God who is supposed to preach faith and grace as against logic. With the present state of the Nigerian economy, in my own opinion, at least 10% percent of couples will experience job losses within one week of marriage, considering the way companies are laying off staff. A friend of mine lost his job the 3rd day after his wedding, and another friend lost his job 2 days before his first son was born. So why place so much emphasis on having a job, when there is hardly any job security in Nigeria, and you could lose that job in a heartbeat! So the wife of my friend who lost his job 3 days after their wedding should file for a divorce?

Another thing I heard that Daddy allegedly said was that anyone who wanted sex every day should come for deliverance. It’s much easier for a man in his 70s to preach this, and as I turned 40 this year it’s a bit easier for me to understand. However, I would have walked out on anyone trying to preach this to me at 31 as it meant setting myself up for fornication since my woman would probably say “Daddy said it’s not food so it’s not every day”

The bible is very clear on this, as it states in the book of 1st Corinthians chapter 7 verse 4, that “The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband doesn’t have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife”

Therefore, refusing your spouse sex is dangerous and is not supported by God, as it can lead to adultery which has more serious consequences than daily sex. I hear that there are some tribes in Nigeria that if you marry from, and cannot satisfy daily, you dig the grave of that union with your own hands.

Everyone is physically different, therefore our needs for sex differ.

In my humble opinion, sexual compatibility is of a far greater relevance to a successful marriage than sexual frequency.

Therefore, my advice is; choose your spouse wisely, while in constant prayer, as being single is miles better than being in a bad marriage! ~FRZ

See more of his articles on his website here.

27 Comments

  1. .....just saying

    August 8, 2016 at 7:26 am

    Lol! You mean imaginary messages right? Dude be acting like we don’t know what went down in your marriage. brother please,

  2. Bodunade

    August 8, 2016 at 7:44 am

    What does it mean when people say they hear from God?

    Daddy freeze, I agree with all you just said. Popsy lost his job on the day I was named, young marriage, first baby.
    Took him over a decade but he caught up and I never noticed anything different until recently when I thought of it.

  3. Chino

    August 8, 2016 at 7:46 am

    Freeze is no saint but I really like this article.

  4. Gorgeous

    August 8, 2016 at 7:56 am

    I think pastors should stay out of people’s personal lives except people privately call them into it. Pastor Adeboye is overstepping his boundary and bordering on a cult like following with some very strange talks like divine this and that coming from him. Implying he is now a divine entity. Nonsense.

    • seyi

      August 8, 2016 at 9:11 am

      Look at all these Poppleton saying pastors should stay out of people’s personal lives. You won’t let the pastor advise you, yet with they’re trouble you will run there first. The Bible says God cannot be mocked Abeg. And as for all these people ranting about Pastor adeboyes article. I hope this puts it to rest once an for all. The man was talking to his people, his jurisdiction, the people he leads, the people God has called him to advise and ‘pocknose’ into their business. Not y’all. I am not a redeemed member never listened to any of his messages sef until this but I have understanding. I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with what he said, take his advice if you can if you can’t, move on, you’re not the reason he’s preaching. You’re not t one who called him, neither are you the ones that will tell him to say. Go and meet you own Pastor an ask f his own advice and follow it. Leave the man let him lead his people. As far as this advise doesn’t take anyone to he’ll but instead makes a better marriage for some, why not let him say what he has to say. Yes I’m typing long an it’s cos I have had enough of all this things. Girls these days, they don’t want to do anything. They just want to look fly, your husband will buy hair for you, but cloth for you, buy car for you, you’re working o, but your money is for make up and cream. You husband will pay for housemaid for you. Ordinary cooking is a taboo for you. What is your use Abeg!! Tell me?? Will I be in the house with my husband and the generator goes bad and he will expect me to go check on it?? Why will I expect not to cook?? When you read the proverbs 31 woman you’ll know it’s no small feat being a woman and chiffon mother. That’s why if you’re not ready Pls don’t rush into it. I understand if your husband doesn’t wantyou to always cook. But to not kno how to at all is not right. Go an d learn let it b an addition ace up your sleeves. All these guys saying that their wife must not know how t cook, you’ll still hear them saying stuff like I miss my mother’s beans or pepper soup or something. So go and learn. It’s only to your own advantage in the end. And as for prayer, yes I agree. A woman(or man) must be able to pray for an hour or more ata stretch. I didn’t need any pastor to tell me. I learn t from my parents. You see this generation ehn, some of us are still riding on our parents prayers, things are working out easily for you, you’re feeling fly. You don’t know how many almighty your parents have prayed for you to make you enjoy the life you now have. What will you leave the your own children I ask you?? What will they get from you?? When they’re stuck, sick, have issues, can they come to you knowing that you can connect to heaven and things will turn around? Or will they resort to babalawo? Cos you never thought them how to pray? Pastor adeboye is saying some major truth o, I advise you ladies, if you don’t know how to cook, Pls learn, if you dont know how to pray until something happens(which may take long sometimes!) Pls start by practicing now. Life, marriage, motherhood isn’t small fry…… odabo

    • LemmeRant

      August 8, 2016 at 10:39 am

      Too many ladies raised by nannies, pampered all their lives can’t cope with the responsibilities of marraige. They’ve been sold by the cinderella story where they meet a prince charming who takes away all their problems and they live happily ever after. Now this is the mentality they want carry into marriage especially here in Nigeria where things are hard. I understand when the woman is working and contributing to the family. But just being plain lazy. Tah.

    • Gorgeous

      August 8, 2016 at 11:45 am

      You see you little scrawny fanatical pimple, I didn’t read your rant because you started it with an insult. Shows the level of your brain there and what a waste of time reading from you will be….lol. Try me next time if your opinion makes sense.

    • seyi

      August 8, 2016 at 12:47 pm

      Meant *all these people not Poppleton whatever that means. Plenty typos.. bear with me..

    • Amaa

      August 8, 2016 at 1:43 pm

      A day to us is like a thousand for the lord ………… . Pray without ceasing is keep praying all your life be it 15 everyday or 5 mins every 1hour the point of that scripture is to keep praying don’t stop so if Jesus told us they and thought that the best form of prayer is our Lord’s Prayer (which takes about 5mins to say) who then are you to say some one Who is praying this all encompassing prayer regularly everyday without hitting your 1hour Mark is not worthy of being your wife .
      I disagree without sounding disrespectful . The reason the Pharisees disagreed with Jesus and sorth his life is because he questioned traditions and spoke against religious norms. We should learn to debate religious matters without taking everything hook line and sinker.
      I can understand living in Nigeria with all its economic woes it’s natural to think praying for an hour or going to prayer mountain and spending forty days and forty nights will solve all our problems he came so that we might be saved he did all that so salvation will be free and accessible . It’s the heart that our saviour looks at our sincerity and our genuine effort to follow his tenets even though we fall short.
      David with all his roving eye still had Gods ears not because he was the most sanctimonious man but because of his heart.
      I rest my case

    • Chu

      August 8, 2016 at 4:12 pm

      People are we still on this topic? Its like a week now na?
      I believe those ranting against it are just trying too hard to be feminists. A woman nurtures whether we like it or not, its in our DNA. Every woman, world over plans her family and home. Does she have assistance, yes but the buck falls on her. Even career women would get a butler, steward, whatever to handle the house, when they need to restock the house, they go to the woman not the man, even when both of them are hard workers. I read where someone said in another article that Joke Silva said cooking isn’t her forte and using her as example. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t handle it. Cooking isn’t my forte also, in fact I ask how husband a hundred times during office hours what we would eat at night, now that I am trying to eat healthy it has made decision making even more difficult. I’m so lazy that at night I cook enough for that night and the next morning, same meal, just so I don’t have to rethink what to cook or waste precious time, It got so bad, he told me not to worry that he would draw up a meal plan but it doesn’t still mean that i won’t be the one to do the final coordination. You don’t close work and go home without thinking or planning what your family will eat. There are roles in a family, define yours and work with it.. The kind of mosquitoes we have at home eh, they are bloodsuckers, so we flit everyday and its hubby that does it, even when he is not back in time I would leave it till he comes., unless its after nine. To put on the gen nko? If he is outside gisting with the neighbours and it starts getting dark I will just stay in the dark till he enters or send my maid to call him to come and put on the gen. Sometimes he grumbles that why can’t I do it but I tell him to go joor and do it. Its how we define our home. Every home should find their definition and pattern and stop waiting for a man of God to tell you what to do or not do, they are just meant to play advisory roles biko.

    • Olayemi

      August 9, 2016 at 6:44 am

      I need to give you a hug

  5. Me

    August 8, 2016 at 8:00 am

    In my opinion, Praying without ceasing, has nothing to do with 3 hours prayer… Do you know you can be in prayer for an entire day? Aside from that I agree with every other thing this…. man said

    • Amaa

      August 8, 2016 at 1:42 pm

      A day to us is like a thousand for the lord ………… . Pray without ceasing is keep praying all your life be it 15 everyday or 5 mins every 1hour the point of that scripture is to keep praying don’t stop so if Jesus told us they and thought that the best form of prayer is our Lord’s Prayer (which takes about 5mins to say) who then are you to say some one Who is praying this all encompassing prayer regularly everyday without hitting your 1hour Mark is not worthy of being your wife .
      I disagree without sounding disrespectful . The reason the Pharisees disagreed with Jesus and sorth his life is because he questioned traditions and spoke against religious norms. We should learn to debate religious matters without taking everything hook line and sinker.
      I can understand living in Nigeria with all its economic woes it’s natural to think praying for an hour or going to prayer mountain and spending forty days and forty nights will solve all our problems he came so that we might be saved he did all that so salvation will be free and accessible . It’s the heart that our saviour looks at our sincerity and our genuine effort to follow his tenets even though we fall short.
      David with all his roving eye still had Gods ears not because he was the most sanctimonious man but because of his heart.
      I rest my case

  6. LEM

    August 8, 2016 at 9:04 am

    Not a fan of his but totally agree with everything he said.

  7. Puzzles

    August 8, 2016 at 9:08 am

    I completely agree with Freeze this time

  8. shior

    August 8, 2016 at 9:22 am

    B’Ners are agreeing with freeze *hands on head* we are indeed in the last days lol

  9. beauty

    August 8, 2016 at 9:44 am

    Firstly, Freeze you just said it yourself “In my humble opinion, sexual compatibility is of a far greater relevance to a successful marriage than sexual frequency”. Pastor Adeboye said wanting sex everyday is not good because it isn’t food. Do you want the woman’s vagina to slack all because she is married? Then you will start complaining and go out to sleep with younger, tighter girls…Nonsense.

  10. Marian

    August 8, 2016 at 11:26 am

    I’m tired of this wife not cook thing. I’m waiting for mother not cook. Marriage is not 50-50, more like 100-100. Cooking should not even be an issue. All these girls gon be cooking orisirisi during the dating period and dont wanna cook after marriage. No man or woman should be getting married without knowing how to cook. No born again christian man who truly loves his wife like God has instructed will not help out in the kitchen. Every marriage is different. Couples should talk about roles and expectations before marriage. Le boo knew i was messy before we got married so he’s the one that picks up after me. This is something i’m working on and he’s helping with it. If you come to my house you will obviously assume i’m the reason it’s spotless because i’m the wife but nah, it’s all him. I do most of the cooking because i enjoy cooking and love watching my husband enjoy my food. My point is we talked about this before we got married so it helped. If your bf never cooked you a meal while you guys were dating you can not be shouting wife not cook unless it was a long distance relationship. Communication is key!!!!!!!

  11. Adio_Braimoh

    August 8, 2016 at 11:53 am

    @Freeze,You have shared your opinion to the subject matter. The bottom line is every one of us took to it and made personal decision likewise. Irrespective of religion the philosophy of life is being prophesied in the holy scripture. Human differs as result our level of interpretation of the scripture and sermon. The man of God has just enlighten us to his understanding of interpreting the scripture, it is now left to his followers to fine tune to his preaching to your level of societal relations. Mind you, every human is semi god. Your decision to matter is left to your judgment. Don’t be judge!

  12. FinchleysFinest

    August 8, 2016 at 12:00 pm

    Some matters sef is too big to drop one cent… I’ll just read comments and sip my tea…

    All of you… continue agreeing and saying what is not when a Pastor is concerned… Continue….. You will soon hear it….

  13. Gorgeous

    August 8, 2016 at 12:18 pm

    The reply was for @Seyi the vein popper. Let me add that you will be a disaster in marriage as you lack critical thinking skills and seem to be one of the dull * my pastor says* fanatics from your lengthy crap up there. You must be in Adeboye’s marriage to even defend him with an insult to start with, as you imagine he is god so his wife must be happy and he must know what a successful marriage is. So you follow hook, line and sinker every obnoxious divine pronouncement. Divine pronouncement, how deluded. You and Adeboye are deluded. Lmao. If you need someone to tell you what to do in your everyday life, pastor or not. You need mental help. Your brain must lack the necessary development.

    • bia

      August 8, 2016 at 2:28 pm

      E do. Wetin? Na so the Seyi comment pain you reach?. No go kee yoursef o. Move on

    • lily

      August 17, 2016 at 6:31 pm

      lol, if dis piece of writing by seyi got to you this much…u shud probably take a deep closer look at ur life. @seyi, u spoke well. God bless u

  14. invaluable jewel

    August 8, 2016 at 1:36 pm

    Though I’m nt n support dt ladies shuld nt knw/learn hw w to cook. Bt if dt happnd dt shuld nt B a problem @ all. D bible says love covereth al sins. N dt case d husband shuld teach her or employ som one 2 teach her. D only issure dt can bring up problem is wen d wife is nt ready/available 2 learn. #myopinion

  15. www,olliealley.wordpress.com

    August 8, 2016 at 1:38 pm

    “crying profusely” I don’t deserve to be married because I don’t pray for 1 hour at a stretch. I’m inconsolable right now

  16. Anonymous

    August 8, 2016 at 5:58 pm

    facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10205223653111002&id=1836418361

  17. forreal

    August 12, 2016 at 8:03 am

    For your information daddy Adeboye did not say anything contrary to the Bible,search further.

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