A couple of weeks ago, RCCG General Overseer Pastor Adeboye shared a sermon that got people talking on social media. In his sermon, which was to some single people in his congregation, he referenced the ability of a woman to cook and pray as one of the criteria for marriage.
Taking to his website, OAP Freeze has weighed in on the trending topic.
This week, I got so many emails and DMs asking for my opinion on Pastor Adeoye’s message about marrying a woman who can’t cook etc. This, being a spiritual issue cannot be tackled with my usual ‘fayose’ approach, as I needed to hear from God first.
There were four main issues raised and I will try my best to address all. I wasn’t in the service and I am relying on the emails and DMs as a point of reference.
The only part of the message I agree 100% with, is that no one should marry a man or woman who can’t pray for 1 hour straight. The bible instructs us in the book of 1st Thessalonians chapter 5 verse 17 to “pray without ceasing”. In as much as we like to operate under the assumption that we control our own lives, in my opinion, the greatest part of our lives is controlled by external forces. Let’s take the instance of former president Olusegun Obasanjo who was a free man in 1996, by 1997 he was imprisoned for treason, by 1998 he was released from prison after the sudden death of Abacha and by 1999 he was president of the federal Republic of Nigeria. If in 1996, Obasanjo had known he was going to be in prison the following year, he probably would have gone to sew prison uniform, awaiting his conviction. Also if in 1997, with a life sentence hanging around his neck, he had known that in a little over a year he would become president, he would have made adequate preparations, but guess what? Life happens. I remember having a chat over drinks with my boss Mr. Moussalli, who told me that he used to stay in Nice, when Lebanon was being bombed because it was safe and calm. Who would ever have guessed that Nice itself was going to be the scene of a gruesome terrorist attack about a month ago? So wisdom doesn’t guarantee safety and strength doesn’t guarantee bread. (Ecclesiastes 9:11) Even the strongest man and the richest man in the world put together cannot control a hurricane.
“When life happens during your race, you will need a sufficient amount of grace!”~FRZ
This Grace can only be received through ceaseless prayer!
Talking about marrying a woman that cannot cook is another kettle of fish entirely, as I do not see why this is a criteria for marriage in 2016. If your woman can’t cook you have many options which include teaching her, hiring a cook, cooking your own meals or eating out and each has its own distinct and enjoyable flavour. Imagine serving your woman a meal in bed on a Saturday morning, she would gladly retaliate with a favor ‘wink’.
About marrying a man that has a job I can’t disagree more, especially coming from a man of God who is supposed to preach faith and grace as against logic. With the present state of the Nigerian economy, in my own opinion, at least 10% percent of couples will experience job losses within one week of marriage, considering the way companies are laying off staff. A friend of mine lost his job the 3rd day after his wedding, and another friend lost his job 2 days before his first son was born. So why place so much emphasis on having a job, when there is hardly any job security in Nigeria, and you could lose that job in a heartbeat! So the wife of my friend who lost his job 3 days after their wedding should file for a divorce?
Another thing I heard that Daddy allegedly said was that anyone who wanted sex every day should come for deliverance. It’s much easier for a man in his 70s to preach this, and as I turned 40 this year it’s a bit easier for me to understand. However, I would have walked out on anyone trying to preach this to me at 31 as it meant setting myself up for fornication since my woman would probably say “Daddy said it’s not food so it’s not every day”
The bible is very clear on this, as it states in the book of 1st Corinthians chapter 7 verse 4, that “The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband doesn’t have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife”
Therefore, refusing your spouse sex is dangerous and is not supported by God, as it can lead to adultery which has more serious consequences than daily sex. I hear that there are some tribes in Nigeria that if you marry from, and cannot satisfy daily, you dig the grave of that union with your own hands.
Everyone is physically different, therefore our needs for sex differ.
In my humble opinion, sexual compatibility is of a far greater relevance to a successful marriage than sexual frequency.
Therefore, my advice is; choose your spouse wisely, while in constant prayer, as being single is miles better than being in a bad marriage! ~FRZ
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