Nma Agada: Beauty, the Briefcase & a Can of Worms

dreamstime_l_25786374Have you seen the movie “Beauty and the Briefcase”? I used to think it was cute and somewhat realistic until I started working in one of those big firms where suits and ties are the air you breathe. It’s pretty much the same except that:
• I am certainly not the only girl there or the best dressed like Hilary Duff was in the movie. I mean, I endeavor to look good at work but I cannot “categorically” tell you that every other lady looks like old newspapers draped in fabrics. That’d be a lie.
• When I walk in, all men stop and stare and then everything suddenly happens in slow motion. As a matter of fact, that almost never happens. People are too busy churning out deliverables to always stop and stare at you because you need to feel like your life is a “dream come true” and a replica of all the romance comedies you invested in all through your teenage years.

• There’s real work to be done by the girls. See now! Unlike in the movie, where babe had to look pretty, have a cute customized cubicle and juggle itineraries, ladies here actually do hard core work that venture to steal the breath out of every living cell in the brain beneath the expensive weaves. Women work hard, long hours, totally forgetting that they need to reapply their lipsticks or go to lunch with a cute “Sean”.

• The men do not need to change just their diets and sense of style. First of all, brothers are now killing it on the fashion floor. Do not get me wrong; some people need therapy to cut through the “fashion lows” in their lives but all things being equal, people are doing better than just white or blue shirts, horrid ties and bland black suits. Secondly, some men in the corporate world today have real life issues that you don’t wanna dabble into if you’re not a warrior.

Before I take us any further, let me just nicely say that the opinions I’d divulge below are in no way true in all situations. Having cleared the air, let’s get to work.

I once had a conversation with a friend who interned with a top-notch firm in Lagos and she said to me “Babe, it is raining men in offices”. Well, I’m here now and I’m yet to buy an umbrella. I am learning, experientially, that because a man has an Ivy League degree, nice lapel pins and the ability to wield power-point presentations like a sword doesn’t make him Bae.

I don’t know how some of us ladies let romance movies, social media and all sorts of societal arrows take root in our expectations when it comes to romance without proper validation.
Here are some funny but true facts you should bear in mind before you hit the corporate market for a Boo.

A suit does not make a gentleman
I have met and been told about men who are just verbally crude and lack any form of refinement. Some’ll tell you right there that you are made for the kitchen alone or how he thinks your suit will fit better if you wore brazillian briefs beneath. Recently, I held the door open for a guy cuz he was right behind me. The dude just swaggered leisurely, then stopped to say a few hellos, looked at me and then walked right through the door without as much as a “Thanks”. Let’s not even talk about how personal space is a subject a lot of people just don’t get.

A suit does not make a neat man
Yes, you heard me. I have seen some of them itch incessantly, kill dragons with their breath, pee and never flush the toilet, fumigate their houses with their shoes, and just ooze of a mixture of things I’d never want to pollute BellaNaija with.

A suit does not make a nice man
A suit will not make a man care for your feelings, want to take you to your favorite show on Thursday night or simply be polite. If anything, some brothers translate the tightness from their ties to bad attitudes and dole them out like lollipops.

A suit does not make a faithful man
You heard me. I have heard girls say that they’d rather have a man who works all day at a firm and would be too tired in the end to mess around. Umm…have you heard of business trips and quickies? I once met an elderly, well established man who blamed cheating on his wife on the nature of this job where he had to make business trips. Enough said!

A suit does not make a handsome man
Yes you heard me. I know trendy clothes, shoes, shades, nice accents and the infamous beard gang have been deployed to help some brothers but I’d like to say that despite the hustle, there are exceptions. And they are not few.

A suit does not make for good conversation
Speeches are different from conversations and if you’re anything like me, then you want a smart, witty man who makes you laugh about anything until you snort. Not every “shirt and tie” has this covered.

A suit does not translate to a nice house
This one is for my sisters who define husband material as any young man who lives and works on Lagos Island. Lagos now because this is one notion I have not been able to wrap my head around since I moved to Lagos. Recently, my friend (let’s call her Iris) was talking to a lady who was complaining about being single. Iris then jokingly told her to go to Ikeja City Mall where she’d have more than enough eligible men to pick from Immediately, the babe went like “God forbid! Why will I go to the mainland to meet a man? How do people even manage with all that?…” and blabla. If you’re one of these ladies, lose that mindset cuz you’ll get in and realize that half of your colleagues are heading to Lere, Yaba, Abulegba, Agbara etc after work.

All I’m trying to say is that despite the fact that that a man’s career has a role to play in how compatible you guys would be, we need to set our priorities straight and go about them the right way. You can meet a great man in an office, at the mall, in traffic or even when you travel to the village for the Christmas holiday. Beauty might get the briefcase but it may just be filled with worms.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

21 Comments on Nma Agada: Beauty, the Briefcase & a Can of Worms
  • Asher March 14, 2016 at 5:23 pm

    I’m going burn all my suites right now… From now on, it’s T-shirt and Zeanz

  • @edDREAMZ March 14, 2016 at 5:37 pm

    Gud post and yu try shah….

  • Exotique March 14, 2016 at 6:03 pm

    True talk. After all the ‘noise’ I heard about working in Lagos, I moved to Lagos and discovered your points. Packaging is great though..lol

  • Spunky March 14, 2016 at 7:09 pm

    In other words, a suit and tie doesn’t make one responsible or eligible yeah? Perhaps I will understand better when I return to read the comments.

  • simileoluwa March 15, 2016 at 8:42 am

    suit and tie doesnt make a man!!!! yes my friend…. great article nazzy *kisses*

  • Iyaomoyibo March 15, 2016 at 9:15 am

    the part about “Real Work” so resonates with me. I take about an hour to get ready for work each day with my make up and outfit so on fleek, i could be auditioning for model gigs but by noon, my face has melted into my blouse despite the freezing ac, my brain has been so fried due to the work load of marketing analytics, by the end of the day, i can barely see straight. Yes o, real work. so real that i look like someone in slave labour by the time I’ve driven home in Lagos traffic. a far cry from my “on fleekness” of the morning. Real Work!

    • Tosin March 15, 2016 at 2:06 pm

      may i plug “Stories That Touch” by Falz The Bahd Guy.
      soft work…is our work o 🙂

  • Amy March 15, 2016 at 2:59 pm

    True that! this one dude in my office he’s so fine and always well put together with his suit and shit!! well when you see him your first impression would be “oh he looks like a gentleman” well not the case because one day he said something inappropriate to me, when i cautioned him “politely o” he just acted like a total a** me i just shanked him abeg! totally not worth my time!

  • sesanchuks March 15, 2016 at 11:36 pm

    Wow this was good, I was trying to hate but the writing sucked me in I forgot what I was hating about

  • Lola aderoju March 15, 2016 at 11:38 pm

    The ending killed it.

  • Doro Mebradu March 16, 2016 at 11:14 am

    Great work Nma.
    You’ve got me on my toes with this one, self re-evaluation coming right up.
    Thanks Ma’am.

  • Casper March 16, 2016 at 11:51 am

    Don’t forget we have the edible worms tho nd some certain freaks love them…… Totally with Asher on the T-shirt tingy, would mix mine with shorts tho

  • “changing moniker” March 16, 2016 at 11:56 am

    A suit does not a man make!
    i hope that sentence makes sense.
    i agree, so many well dressed men in this organisation that you wouldn’t even want to be associated with not talk of be in a relationship with. the cheaters, liars, and outrightly rude men all dressed up in gorgeous cuts and shades of suits.
    well written!

  • Misstaetamie March 17, 2016 at 10:00 am

    Very true indeed. Very few of them are actually real men. Others just never leave the “boy” stage n they think they are “repping”. I can only hope they don’t rep for long

    • Nma Nazzy March 17, 2016 at 9:01 pm

      Lmao. Thanks. Your comment cracked me up. I hope they don’t too

  • Misstaetamie March 17, 2016 at 10:05 am

    Very true indeed! Only few of them are actually real men. Others just never leave that “boy” stage n they think they are “repping” . I only hope they won’t “rep” for too long.

  • nnamdi ofor March 17, 2016 at 10:04 pm

    Nma, you have really finished the men but all you said is simple truth. Was alil upset your target seemed to be d guys.. Lemme put that I have a good dress sense, I’m neat, smell nice and have good qualities as well bad but from your view all this make no sense. In my own view point, I’d say that the basic proble arises when men are over estimated by women even before the first hello. What can we do? Sometimes we pull the chain but other times, we play along. I’ve been more disappointed with women. All u said about me but hello, nice job. I love u sis

  • Abiola March 22, 2016 at 7:44 am

    Great post nazzy

  • florence March 30, 2016 at 9:06 pm

    so true #a suit does not make a neat man, I once hanged out with a well dressed banker, only to realise his breathe is nothing to write home abt

  • Mubarak M April 3, 2016 at 10:07 am

    Nice write… suite and tie!!! Hmmmmm

  • Mubarak M April 3, 2016 at 10:10 am

    Nice write…. Suit and tie!! Hmmmmm

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