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Atoke’s Monday Morning Banter: English is Not My Mother Tongue

Atoke

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On Saturday, I made the most delicious pot of Ofe Onugbu (bitterleaf soup). It had a very generous assortment of stock fish, dry fish, red prawns, periwinkles, shrimps and croaker fish. Seeing as it was a large pot, I dished out the portion meant for sale and then called on my dear friend to come and have some. I don’t like wasting food and he doesn’t know how to say no to good food so I knew he’d be the best person to invite over for a late lunch. After a couple of unreplied messages on his Blackberry Messenger, I dialled his number. “Ogbeni, I said there’s food. You read and didn’t reply. Shey ko si? Are you ill? You never ignore a message about food”. To which he replied “Sorry jare, I’m in the middle of this really meaningless argument with some silly girl who is arguing with me”. Now, my friend is quite pedantic and knowing him I immediately felt sorry for the person with whom he was arguing; Onugbu business flew out of the window, “So what is it this time?”. He proceeded to explain to me that he was correcting someone’s inappropriate use of the apostrophe sign and the person retorted with “Please leave me. English is not my mother tongue”

This English issue is a big thing. I don’t know whether to give up or to continue arguing with people over improper spelling and grammar. We get a lot of emails at BellaNaija every day and half the time, the Features Team is boggled with the task of having to explain to “writers” that “you are -you’re” is not the same as “your”. A lot of people now believe that in some alternate universe, “who’s – who is” is the same as “whose”. I must not forget the almighty misuse of “I’m – I am” and “am”.

I told my friend to learn to pick his battles wisely, especially as people do not have the same background. He yelled at that point “THAT IS WHY WHEN SOMEONE CORRECTS YOU, YOU SHOULDN’T COME BACK WITH ‘IT IS NOT MY MOTHER TONGUE'” Ah, the Onugbu conversation was turning into fight with me oh! Lo ba tan! I quickly hung up and faced my business.
I speak Yoruba a lot. Some of my close friends have said they’re convinced my Operating System is in Yoruba and then I do a quick translation into English. I don’t disagree because I’m almost convinced it is true. Heck, I even tweet in Yoruba. I find it easier to express myself and convey my thoughts in Yoruba. It’s not my fault. I spent almost a decade in Ilorin. However, I believe that in communicating, it is important that the person you’re addressing understands your point in order for it to be effective. So if you’re speaking English to me and you say “aks” to me when you mean “ask” you’d have to forgive my confusion. Or if you say “riks” when you mean “risk”, or “Tim” when you mean “theme”.

What do you guys think? Is speaking/typing proper English really too much to ask? Do you think we’re automatically disadvantaged because we’re not English? Doesn’t the fact that education is done in English mean that there’s a presupposition that one should be able to speak and write properly? On the other hand, it has been argued that we Nigerians like feeling like we can speak better English than ‘the owners of the language’. Thus inferring that these errors aren’t solely a Nigerian malaise. If you’re one of the people who thinks English isn’t your “mother tongue” and as such you shouldn’t have to obey all its rules stricto sensu, how well do you speak your “native language”?

Have a fabulous week ahead. Keep your head up and remember, it’s great to be alive. Make sure you exude happiness this week and don’t let anybody steal your joy.

Love, peace & cupcakes!
Toodles!

Photo Credit: madamenoire.com

You probably wanna read a fancy bio? But first things first! Atoke published a book titled, +234 - An Awkward Guide to Being Nigerian. It's available on Amazon. ;)  Also available at Roving Heights bookstore.Okay, let's go on to the bio: With a Masters degree in Creative Writing from Swansea University, Atoke hopes to be known as more than just a retired foodie and a FitFam adherent. She can be reached for speechwriting, copywriting, letter writing, script writing, ghost writing  and book reviews by email – [email protected]. She tweets with the handle @atoke_ | Check out her Instagram page @atoke_ and visit her website atoke.com for more information.

74 Comments

  1. Hurperyermie

    April 15, 2013 at 10:12 am

    Dearest Atoke God bless u for this some people take this english thing personal as if it is by force abeg the only thing needed is ur idea take it or u leave it

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      April 15, 2013 at 12:54 pm

      Okay, honey. I hear you and hope that you and the other people who cry blue murder when your (f.y.i, it’s spelt “your” and not “ur”) mis-pronounced or badly typed English is being corrected, do not turn around to mock other people’s imperfect speech or usage of their native dialect.

      Because, I tell you, people who make fun of my (admittedly rudimentary) ibo just really make me want to head butt them. And you better believe that most times (by which I mean 9 times out of 10), same folk doing the correcting are wilfully murdering the English Language in the same breath, only to then moan “but it’s not my first language, nah”. The reverse was the case for me as English was the first language I learnt growing up (pidgin was the second and then ibo. Life is funny that way). So if you believe that it’s your god-appointed right to mock me for not communicating properly in whatever language you speak fluently, permit me to please return the favor when you’re murdering the English language.

      And let me anticipate any smart-alec retorts in advance – while I concede your point of it not being my father’s first language, it is MY first language and the language said father decided to communicate to me from the start. Let each person bear their own unique cross.

    • Charlotte (Charlie)

      May 10, 2013 at 10:15 pm

      tell them o! 🙂

  2. Partyrider

    April 15, 2013 at 10:14 am

    Nothing irks me like when people write in those stupid and annoying shorthand.
    The most annoying thing is,these people type from smart phones, iPad and a laptop which all have the alphabets laid out separately, so for the love of God why will you type ‘now’ as ‘nau’ , ‘miss’ as’mizz’ ? Just why? Plus you have autocorrect to help you..smh

    That’ English is not my mother tongue’ excuse is trash. People that don’t want to take correction come up with that crap.its not your mother tongue but all your life you have been taught in English and written in English..kmt

    If its not your mother’s tongue then start writing/typing in your mother’s tongue ,so at least we can spare our eyes and head from trying to understand the crap you write

    • Abana

      April 15, 2013 at 12:06 pm

      Partyrider, for someone who has punctuation challenges, you are quite the talker.

    • Abana

      April 15, 2013 at 12:09 pm

      If its not? Its is possessive. What you want to write is it’s – a short form of it is. If it is not your mother tongue. Not mother’s tongue. You are not even in the right position to correct people’s English. Work on yours first honey.

    • lol

      April 15, 2013 at 2:46 pm

      I don’t think that little error makes party rider’s english poor. Yours is a little overkill

    • Partyrider

      April 15, 2013 at 4:19 pm

      Thank you!

  3. NIRA

    April 15, 2013 at 10:15 am

    I’m one of those that believe in typing/ speaking correct English. I hate it when people abbreviate words so much that the words loose their meanings. What is ‘fink’, ‘fanks’?? I believe that’s why their is a huge failure in English language in the waec exams. English is not our mother tongue, but since it’s our adopted language, efforts should be made to speak and write it correctly.

    • Italian Princess

      April 15, 2013 at 10:19 am

      There**

      :p

    • nonimous

      April 16, 2013 at 4:49 pm

      my dear you a wrong. its “their”

      :p

    • Oluwamayowa Idowu

      April 15, 2013 at 10:31 am

      Laughs! You just changed ‘lose’ to ‘loose’.

    • ada

      April 15, 2013 at 11:08 am

      lose***

    • nonimous

      April 16, 2013 at 5:14 pm

      actually I just saw you used “their” wrongly. its “there is a huge failure…”
      :p

  4. Ms Catwalq

    April 15, 2013 at 10:20 am

    Thanks to the age of twitter, most people cannot spell anymore. What started out as a quick alternative to conserving space on texts and tweets has become the vocabulary of choice for some people. I don’t know how many people have said “cum” instead of “come” without even knowing the connotation of what they have said.
    The interesting thing is that many of the words that are misspelled were only missing an extra alphabet. What would it have killed you to add the “o” and “e”? Possibly, because the person does not even know the proper spelling.
    I just edited a document for some one and had to switch of my brain to decipher:
    “B cos it’s ma battery wen am wik”
    The writer: a college graduate submitting a poem for publication.
    The poem does continue along those lines.
    Me: extremely tired. I have warned all my friends. If you cannot spell it out on phone, then call. You text me in poor English, I will delete you.
    If you no like, your wahala but you cannot be stressing my brain to tell me you will be “cumming on tym”

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      April 15, 2013 at 1:06 pm

      That use of “cum” as modern speak for “come”. MY DEAR, me too, I’m also amazed at the oblivious state of people just using explicit/inappropriate language and not even realising the connotations of what they’re writing.

      Regarding the ““B cos it’s ma battery wen am wik” poem, I’m thinking maybe there’s room for a new genre of poetry using language like that? Isn’t that how urban poetry in the U.S became quite popular and well received, leading to the success of Def Jams Poetry? Just a thought… or I may be speaking rubbish 🙂

  5. YVONNE

    April 15, 2013 at 10:21 am

    Atoke!!you know English o! I don’t know how to pronounce “ask” well,probably because of the slight yoruba accent I have. I wonder what you’ll do if you find yourself in Akwa-Ibom where their spoken english is war..I’m a big fan of proper articulation and eloquence,It’s all good we learn everyday

    • Akwa

      April 15, 2013 at 3:00 pm

      Actually that Akwa Ibom thing is something the movies have made us believe. Akwa Ibom people do speak really well (but some have an accent other Nigerians consider thick). the funny thing is we Akwa Ibom people think other Nigerians have really thick accents too. It’s all relative.

    • diamond

      April 15, 2013 at 4:13 pm

      Thank you Akwa. Everyone has an accent and the challenge of articulation and eloquence. its inappropriate for one to pick out a particular tribe.

  6. Roxanne

    April 15, 2013 at 10:21 am

    Thank you very much for this my dear! Everyday I have to deal with some people who instead of saying “we went out yesterday” will say “we be going out yesterday”…. OH MY GOD! WHATT???
    Instead of “I was told he is from the city” they say “I been told he from the city” I feel bolts and nuts dismantling in my head! And they get offended when you correct them! Omashe oo!

  7. amah

    April 15, 2013 at 10:25 am

    Atoke, i believe BBM and Twitter are mostly to blame for this. Because we are trying to say somethin and we don’t want to cut short our sentences or continue typing on another line, we find ourselves shortening the words in order to take the available space. The worst culprit of this spelling ish is BBM. This is where you will find spellings such as “people-pipo”, “mine-myn” etc and its so annoying.

  8. dp

    April 15, 2013 at 10:25 am

    well i think it is important to write and speak well because you don’t kn were u can find urself tomorrow, and to avoid embarrassment you need to be at the top of ur game

  9. The log in your eye

    April 15, 2013 at 10:27 am

    @ NIRA, it’s ‘there’ not ‘their’
    @Partyrider, after a full stop, you use a capital letter. It’s not its.

  10. JADE

    April 15, 2013 at 10:27 am

    LMAOOOO, I have this issue with my yoruba friend and colleague. His pronunciations are abysmal and every time i try to correct him he goes ” wo Jade pls leave me, im not an oyibi ma” until he pronounced “theater” as “teeaattar” in front of a client. That’s when he started valuing corrections. No one is perfect tho but if ure not gonna take corrections then stick to ur mother tongue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. Gbemi

    April 15, 2013 at 10:29 am

    Hi Atoke, I really do love your writing(s) and look forward to them every monday but this one is just not inspiring 🙁 . However the bitterleaf soup added a bounce to my steps wouldn’t mind his portion. Cheers

  12. Ann

    April 15, 2013 at 10:32 am

    hehehheheh….. my boss just looked in when he noticed me smiling sheepishly after reading this….

  13. Neo

    April 15, 2013 at 10:32 am

    I fink ds ishu has bn ovaflogd, lyk 4 rl. If yhu cnt undstnd moi, dn ure defo nt cooliez!

    Hehehe, imagine the torture it took for me to type that. With many teeneaged nieces and nephews I have come to understand IM and I hate myself for it.I dread the day when our speech is reduced to simply alphabets. I wonder of its the time it takes to string a complete sentence thats the issue or this need to join every bandwagon that drives past you. How can you type “lurve” for “love” when the former even has more letters! We know what is right, this generation is simply too lazy. Growing up it was boys quarters, then it became BQ, at one point even Q, what next? Sign language.

    As much as i hate IM speak or bad English generaly, im equally irked by “overuse or unnecessary use of grammar. Like who the hell says “infinitesimally” in a conversation with one’s friends??? I wanted to smack his head with Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary.

    • Ready

      April 15, 2013 at 11:14 am

      Right?! If you’re writing yhu, why not just write you? It’s the same number of letters. Then you want to know if I’m cuming? Really? You really wanna know if I’m cuming? ^_^

    • Specs

      April 15, 2013 at 12:39 pm

      what type of visitor are you?? Yes ke….I wanna know when your cumming na!!!#thatswhatshesaid!! hehehehehe! bad bad people

    • jay

      April 15, 2013 at 11:34 am

      hahahahha…..u cracked me up with ur comment meeeeeen!

    • Tolani

      April 15, 2013 at 1:12 pm

      KK :p

  14. Lecker

    April 15, 2013 at 10:45 am

    there is power in communication, if you cant speak properly you should be able to write properly, and should still continue and be willing to learn- my line of thought.

    off course there will be bias when write or speak, EVERYONE is biased. No two individuals on the planet are exactly alike in the specific set of experiences they’ve gone through since birth (even twins!).
    So, of course that set of experiences will affect your perspective in your communication but its important to keep improving, learn better/different ways of doing things that you think you’re very good at.

    I love to read, so I can improve on my punctuation marks, diction and when listening, I also listen to become better.

  15. HRS

    April 15, 2013 at 10:58 am

    English is indeed not my mother tongue, but I was taught in school so I could speak and write it properly! Money must not waste! And I wouldn’t go to a presentation or public gathering and be speaking rubbish…. But! I take a chill pill when I’m chatting on BBM or twitter, I have absolutely no qualms with abbreviations that are proper abbreviations, and nothing against slangs, you just want to make your chat interesting or you want to type fast…..
    But when you now type “now” as “nau”, who are you fooling, they have the same number of letters, or you type “am” as “I’m”, that is absolutely wrong and annoying because people actually think it is right! it’s even more offensive when you receive an official mail and you have all these wrong abbreviations!!!! It has affected the person! Wrongly written English is one of the reasons why people don’t get jobs….. Though while chatting on BBM or social network media if you type “U” instead of “You” , that’s an abbreviation and it’s ok….

  16. adenike!

    April 15, 2013 at 10:58 am

    Great way to start my week. Thanks Atoke!
    English isn’t my mother tongue – very true. But I wasn’t taught Chemistry/Literature/Biology etc in my mother tongue. Even my Yoruba teacher would explain things to us in English at times (during our tone marking lessons). Well,I’m a ‘conc’ Yoruba lady and my Yoruba is very sound but I argue in English. It’s just reflex. My sister has a huge problem with this and sometimes my mum. I’ve got a friend on my bbm – I doubt she can spell correctly. ‘Pweety,pwease,fink,twu,jest(just)’ and some other retarded lines. I won’t call that paraphrasing – I think something’s wrong. All in all,English is not your mother tongue but at least speak and write it well.

  17. Ore

    April 15, 2013 at 11:00 am

    I can’t stand it when I correct my friends who recently arrived from Nigeria and they think I feel superior to them just because I live in London? What the hell??

  18. Me I don tire!

    April 15, 2013 at 11:01 am

    This matter is sooooo getting out of hand! Writing “EngRish” now should become a crime for people to get it!!! Ogini di ife nke a?

  19. Motun

    April 15, 2013 at 11:25 am

    potato! pota-to! pot-ato!

  20. Annie

    April 15, 2013 at 11:26 am

    i for one try as much as possible not to do the abbreviation thing even when pinging and chatting, i write almost all words in full and i am always correcting my sis when she copies other peoples abbreviations “whose for who’s, who is”. the stupid “fenk u, fenks” thing can get me really pissed, anyway, if u really want to ve a conversation with me and do all of that i politely ask u to stop n write words in full cos i cannot ask what every abbreviation u write means. I am now starting to think this is one reason why most she levers today fail English language. I learnt to speak with very simple words, write with very simple words, instead of words that would make one ask Google d meaning of words too off while reading from me. Imagine a toaster asking me what my “kryptonite” was, instead just keeping it simple and ask what my “weakness’ is. I just remembered the series “smallville” sharply.

  21. dee

    April 15, 2013 at 11:29 am

    Atoke, it’s not only social media causing this issue. Radio and tv too. As they are more interested in fake American accents than proper pronunciations.

  22. so?

    April 15, 2013 at 11:31 am

    @ amah ‘ish’ is in which dictionary?

  23. eniola

    April 15, 2013 at 11:31 am

    @ Gbemi, me too jare. Atoke your description of the bitter leaf soup got me salivating and cooking it with the same ingredients in my mind, maybe minus croaker fish though plus hyde a.k.a ponmo. ;;). Please leave English for the oyinbos.

  24. Hurperyermie

    April 15, 2013 at 11:31 am

    Dearest Atoke i love this die some people take this English thing very personal all we need is idea cos it is not our mother tongue jawe!!!!!!!!!!!!

  25. Mitchell

    April 15, 2013 at 11:43 am

    LOL! or laughing out loud! I think it’s important for people to speak and write proper English. After all it is our lingua franca. Forget out all that trash about mother tongue. Do you know how many languages there are in Nigeria? If we all spoke our mother tongues it will be like the tower of babel. I use abbreviations on social media though. It’s just easier and faster abeg. Hand dey pain pesin. I am confident I can speak and write properly with the best of them however. Err you would notice I took pains not to abbreviate in this post. Hehe.

  26. Wendy

    April 15, 2013 at 11:46 am

    Ok, so we are educated in english right? but most teachers could barely manage to communicate properly in english (or had heavy accents) nna mehn, I can even remember some english teachers that had terrible dictions….lol. Most people that speak “better” english either came from well educated families or did very serious work on themselves (or both)….As for me, when people make such mistakes, I autocorrect in my head and just keep it moving…..#icantshout
    Now on the writing aspect, mehnnnnnnn! I get a riled up when peeps spell all weird and please don’t get me started on abbreviations…my blood is boiling already!!

  27. Gbemmy

    April 15, 2013 at 12:09 pm

    But really , people over flog this English issue , it’s good to speak good English but we tend to overlook the important things of life, we take things too serious , we can’t all act very formal while on social sites , and when you feel it’s not appropriate for someone to use abbs just tell them politely not start the sermon that it’s very annoying and you hate it etc , if you hate it hang yourself then , most people would continue just to annoy you , but if you correct me in a polite manner that’s after addressing my main issuse fine ..obviously I can’t send an official mail with all the abbs , but it’s so not right when people start acting all righteous to the extent of getting annoyed then you need to check yourself for a bigger problem

  28. Jiddah

    April 15, 2013 at 1:00 pm

    This topic is right on. We can never over emphasise it. If my younger ones do it on BBM, I will expect that they will have enough gumption not to do it when writing their class work.

    Most people actually think its cool, cos i cannot understand why you would write ‘seriously’ as ‘serzly”? Fine, BBM and twitter is social network, and yes we need to relax but some abbreviations just bother on laziness, ignorance and “its not my mother tongue”

  29. adelegirl

    April 15, 2013 at 1:23 pm

    Whilst I can understand typing in shorthand such as replacing “you” for “u”, “are” for “r”, “the” for “d” etc, when chatting on twitter and other social networking sites where one is limited to a certain number of characters, I cannot understand why people still type/write in shorthand on Facebook for instance, where you have practically unlimited space for conversing, and when composing official documents.
    I also hate nonsensical abbreviations and acronyms. They are one of my pet peeves; especially these ones: HBD, HML, HNY, LLNP (this last one though, shouldn’t it be LLAP – as in Long Life AND Prosperity?).
    I mean, how hard is it to type out the full thing – Happy Birthday!? I always say that anyone who wishes me happy birthday on Facebook by just typing HBD, will not get a response from me (Yes, I respond to each happy birthday wall post individually)
    Oh and there’s another one that’s really common – wrong use of the apostrophe. Unfortunately, I can’t quite remember specific examples of such errors but it is very common.
    Also, when I see people mix up there, their and they’re; these and this; loose and lose; I am or I’m for am etc, I just switch off mentally and classify them as semi-illiterates who aren’t really worth my time! Occasional mistakes are acceptable but when it becomes the norm, it really really irks me!

    The “English is not my mother tongue” thing is just a statement to cover up one’s inefficiencies and I think it is indicative of pride, defensiveness and just feeling too big to be corrected. People, need to learn how to take corrections gracefully and not assume it’s an attack on their person or an “I Too Know” thing. If you are making a professional presentation, perhaps one that will determine a promotion or a massive contract award, do you also use bad grammar, using the “English no be my mama tongue excuse”?
    I worry about this new generation of people who seem to be barely literate and cannot draft a coherent document or even a simple one-page letter.

    • Wow

      April 15, 2013 at 3:18 pm

      Absolutely agree with you. I hate that HBD, LLNP etc nonsense. It’s just rubs me the wrong way lol

  30. medous

    April 15, 2013 at 1:26 pm

    WE NEED TO TAKE CORRECTION ON EVERY MISTAKE WE MAKE

  31. Madam the Madam

    April 15, 2013 at 2:13 pm

    Those abbreviation things are just very dumb. I mean, WTF is KK? Shey it’s “ok” that you’re trying to type? You no see the letter “O” ni? You now had to reach for the extra K. Very very dumb.

    People are just lazy as heck. I can’t take you seriously if you type nonsense like “am cuming 2 urs” or “cme 2 my hse”. Grown men and women o, is this the way you relate when you draft professional methods of communication? First language or not, English is a universal language so please try and make an effort to not come off as a nitwit *hops off soapbox*

  32. koko

    April 15, 2013 at 2:19 pm

    ama be writing how nd wat i wanna rite how i deen fit if u dnt understand dis lick stew lolsss……sounds good i should try dis more often.

  33. Madam the Madam

    April 15, 2013 at 2:20 pm

    Actually, excuse me while I hop right back on that soap box…
    How can you type “cum” as opposed to “come” with a straight face? This gets a big UGH from me, like UGH. Very disgusting something. Then y’all characters that have abbreviated every well wish – WULLNP, HML, HWA…God is watching you all in Blueray o!

    Anyway jor, Atoke ehn, do you cater or what? That soup is sounding like a very delicious something.

    • Chic

      April 15, 2013 at 2:36 pm

      “Cum” annoys the hell out of me!!! Like seriously??? the worst is when a fully grown man replies to your text with “av a blexxed dei” I can’t!

    • Non professional opinion

      April 16, 2013 at 10:30 am

      I’ll take your “cum” and raise you a “buh”, and if you are someone who “makes” your hair, we can’t be friends.

  34. whocares

    April 15, 2013 at 3:50 pm

    Problem with people like you is you take things too far and it irritates me… What a person is not allowed to make a little mistake especially as she is writing on Bella Naija which can be construed as a social network page, and not an writing academic essay? Yes saying English is not your mother tongue is laziness pure and simple especially if you know the right thing to say, you are being corrected yet you seek refuge behind the well worn phrase. To each his own all the same. I speak Yoruba whenever i talk to people who I know will have a bit of difficulty with english, and I speak queens english accent and all with snobs like Abana, just so they know! lool. I dont see it as my god given right to correct awful grammar. We are all adults and if a person’s english is not up to par, i leave them be circumstances and all, not everyone is blessed with good education (and i dont just mean classroom only). Communication is important but if i understand when you say “axe” I dont think it is necessary to embarrass a person by pointing the error, i might chuckle to myself but thats about it.. except for slangs. i hate slangs.. i come out guns blazing to kill slangs of every size, shape and form.. i hate “swag” the most!

    • kele

      April 15, 2013 at 4:10 pm

      I hate…”thank me later” or “google is your friend”…..I don’t know if they qualify as slangs, but oh’boy do they get under my skin!! arghhhhhhhh! it’s even worse when the person is giving redundant or even incorrect information….naija peeps can like to feel among.

  35. Hmmmmm

    April 15, 2013 at 3:57 pm

    A friend of mine in the U.K went for an interview and was asked whats your country lingua franca and this dear baybee answered PIDIGIN. Summary, you can’t blame people that don’t communicate in good English, when they believe PIDIGIN is our official language.

  36. molarah

    April 15, 2013 at 6:43 pm

    LOL! The crazy thing about a topic like this is that even the people that whine and complain about having to put up with bad english are not perfect themselves.

    A simple example is right here. 95% of the comments – even from those complaining about shorthand or poor english – have grammatical errors. And this one I’m writing probably has an error as well, but I can’t be bothered.

    My point? There are a million and one things to burst a nerve over in the world – don’t sweat the small stuff. I’m sure the energy and drama spent trying to correct a person who doesn’t want to be corrected can be spent constructively elsewhere.

  37. ronny

    April 15, 2013 at 7:40 pm

    Texts from my toaster.
    Enjoy!
    “Maybe I Dnt Rily Knw U Wel,I Dnt Knw ow U Exactly Act, But dos Tins Wil Not Kip Me Away 4rm U Coz Dose R D Risons Y I’m Here.2 Kno U Nd 2 Kip u in ma @,slip tit”

    • whocares

      April 15, 2013 at 8:56 pm

      LMAOOOOOOOOO. you have made my night. i will go to sleep tonight secure in the knowledge that you will find that toaster and bash him in the head with a frying pan.. no? lool.

    • chu girl

      September 17, 2014 at 9:05 am

      lmao!!!! Now that’s annoying

  38. ronny

    April 15, 2013 at 7:42 pm

    “Great Frns Are Part Of
    Memories.Time Can Neva Erase.When Lyf Is Blessed Wit Frns Lik U,Switer
    Memories R Dre 2 Luk
    Bak Again N Again.Gud A.M ma lady,ow is d nyt”

  39. ronny

    April 15, 2013 at 7:44 pm

    “4 All D Frndshp U Share,4 All D Ways U Care.4 All D Times U R Thr,U R Special N Beyond Compare.
    Just Wanna Say,Fenks 2 u.u just got me finking al day,but i wish”

    In short those texts drive me crazy.I JUST can’t.

    • kele

      April 15, 2013 at 8:39 pm

      lmao!!!! this is painful to read….such a huge turn off!! I don’t understand how and why people do this! I feel like they think it’s cool(which kinda says something about their state of mind) anyways sha…if homeboy is cool, tell him to stop texting, that you’re not a “text kinda girl”…that way you can assess him better…or better still, write him letters and make him reply you in the same form (fingers crossed that would awaken his old-school letter writing/spelling skills)….All the best sha! he seems like he’s “rly in2 U”..hehehehe

    • Naija talk

      April 15, 2013 at 11:15 pm

      I just can’t deal either. You try well well

  40. magh

    April 16, 2013 at 12:34 am

    This just reminded me of some of my akata friends in Canada and also my Canadian housemate. instead of writing “should have” they write “should of” … I have tried to correct them but I guess my African accent is too thick for them lol.. I guess they write things based on how they pronounce.

  41. Gertrude

    April 16, 2013 at 2:57 am

    Typed an essay and accidentally refreshed. Point taken, Jesus; I’ll be nice. However, if anyone texts me and types “blexxed”, “slip tit” or “cum”, I don’t think it would be abusive to throw a dictionary at such a person.

    • Non professional opinion

      April 16, 2013 at 10:32 am

      Lmao. Jesus erases your snark too! I thought I was the only one 😉

  42. busybee

    April 16, 2013 at 7:25 am

    lol

  43. mia

    April 16, 2013 at 9:40 am

    things like: am for I’m, leave for live, loose for lose, there for their, where for were, weary for wary, border for bother, its for it’s etc, just sounds like a spoilt radio in my ears. As for pronunciation, we can pardon people because of mother-tongue inflections but we should be teachable enough when people correct us constructively. But in my books, no excuse for misplacing words like i highlighted above, i just feel it’s incomplete primary school education.

  44. Inlingua

    April 16, 2013 at 12:09 pm

    ‘To err is human’ but continously sticking onto that error for some stupid reasons is so stupid. Whatever the language may be ,if we are speaking ,we should follow the rules. If not it will fail to express what we think. Improve your skills step by step. If somebody tell your mistakes,try to correct them than arguing on them.

  45. chinco

    April 16, 2013 at 1:43 pm

    I think the onset of chatting and texting has weakened our ability 2 write/speak proper english

    • Elizabeth

      April 21, 2013 at 9:34 pm

      I agree

  46. Memyself&I

    July 22, 2013 at 8:08 pm

    It’s okay to be late…right? Abeg, all una oyinbo profs for Niger, we need u here to come over and correct all these akata people and even the white ones because this might open up doors of wealth unto u, Niger too dey know English pass im creator, the Britikos. I can categorically say that I speak and write good English but who cares. Like someone rightly said, please stop sweating out the little stuff on this planet. Sometimes, it’s okay to be lazy with words and want to create some fun for yourself & people around, cool off, please let people be, SHUSH!!! These days, some people too dey take nonsensical matter too hard, why now? The world in itself is complex, why make it more complex? If u see person wey wan relax and cool off with some shorthand, let them be. If u can’t read what they write, simply ask and carry go with the fun, this life na one o, English or no English correctness no dey bring food for table ooooooooooo, my people.

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