Connect with us

Features

BN Prose: Unrequited by Elohor Omonemu

Elohor Omonemu

Published

 on

I tried.
I really did.
I tried to love you despite knowing.
Knowing that you did not feel the same for me. Or maybe you did, but did not just care anymore. You made me love you, you stirred up feelings from deep inside of me that I didn’t even realize was there.

Ours was a love dance so perfect. Maybe too perfect, that’s why it ended so quickly. One minute I listened in euphoric bliss as you whispered sweet words in my ear. You told me you loved me, you celebrated our love. You painted a picture, a picture so perfect of what our future would be like. You called me special names. I couldn’t really care what you called me, all that sank in was that you were mine. Mine. I loved you so so deeply, I was scared of the intensity, but hearing your voice would make me calm. And I would thank the Lord all over again, just because you were mine. We’d known each other for quite a while, we played, we flirted, our eyes spoke volumes of what we felt, our hearts seemed to beat in sync but the words were never spoken. And one day…One faithful day, courage was summoned and feelings were put into words, it was bliss. Pure delightful bliss. I used to walk around with a broad smile plastered on my face, there was a spring to my step, a gentleness about me. People noticed, sure they did. When asked about it, I’d blush and turn the other way shyly. I was in love. Totally and completely devoted to you. There was a little snag….the distance. Ah, yes, the distance. But it didn’t matter much, you came around often enough, I was content.

And then one day it stopped. No warning, you suddenly stopped communicating with me. No explanation. Nothing. I lost my mind. Something died inside of me that day. I couldn’t understand.

I tried.
Was it something I did, something I said, something I didn’t do? I was baffled. Confused. Hurt. I cried. Oh boy did I cry! The tears came pouring down like the huge torrential rains of the Amazon. For days, I wondered, I kept replaying our last conversation in my head. Over and over again. Need I say my thoughts became like a broken record? I analyzed every statement I made, your responses to them…nothing. Not a clue, not even the slightest inkling as to why you had stopped talking to me. The pain burned inside of me, I was a nervous wreck. I turned to your closest friend to help me understand, he too had no clue. Eventually you spoke to me. Oh, let me rephrase that. ..You communicated by sending a message. To me it seemed like the whole world, even if your message was a bit brash. I still hung on to the fact that you had communicated. You said you didn’t want me anymore, no reason, and no explanation. Just that you didn’t want to be with me anymore. Another onslaught of tears…I was devastated. How could this be? I reflected back on the last weeks before this, had I ever been that happy in my life? No. And it was you. No one but you who brought me so much happiness, so why you were causing me so much pain now, my mind couldn’t comprehend.

It’s been a while now, we pretend like we are friends. . . I still love you. So much. There’s still no explanation from you. I’m not really expecting one. But every day, I think of you, I ask all the “what ifs?” Was it something I did, or was this just a game to you in the first place? I’ll probably never find out. But there’s a lot of suppressed feelings, a lot of unspoken words. I’ve tried to move on but I still love you even though you may never love me back.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Elena Elisseeva

Elohor Omonemu has a day job as a Human Resource and Business Operations Manager, but outside of work, she is a creative mind who loves trying out new stuff. She is adventurous, loves travel, a coffee addict some might say and loves Jesus. She is on Instagram @el.ohor and Twitter @elohor_om, and used to blog at elohoromonemu.wordpress.com

32 Comments

  1. Wande

    June 9, 2015 at 5:40 am

    Nothing hurts more than being in love with someone who doesn’t reciprocate. The craziest thing is every time I imagine him coming back, I imagine myself dropping my whole world just to be with an asshole. Love sucks!!!

  2. Self-Sufficient

    June 9, 2015 at 5:49 am

    Biko, I am not trying to sound mean but at some point in her life, a woman has to know when to stay and when to WALK AWAY. Some might say easier said than done, but why would she be worrying about a guy/man who does not even care about her. And the last sentence, Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrggghhhh! Ok, let me calm down. Mourn your ”lost love” but do not mourn forever.
    On another note, the writer describes herself as an introvert… Introverts Unite!

    • brownchocolate

      June 10, 2015 at 2:22 pm

      Hmmm. Introverts usually make the best writers, actors, artistes, artists, etc.

  3. Ehiwarior

    June 9, 2015 at 7:27 am

    Beautiful work…

  4. Rue

    June 9, 2015 at 7:41 am

    My two last relationships in a nutshell! My advice to the men is to never tell a lady you want a future with her if you are only interested in her goodies. Believe it or not, women do not think every guy is her potential husband, no matter how wealthy or good looking you are. Some of us are also just interested in good sex and even better conversation. And if you can provide those, you would save us a whole lot of drama and heart ache. I am currently in a f**k buddy situation and even though emotions come up once in a while, I suppress them, because as far as I’m concerned he is not my future. I respect this man a 100% because he told me from the beginning what he wanted from me. The honesty was refreshing, because a few weeks prior to that, my boyfriend stopped picking my calls and blocked me on Facebook without an explanation, just a day after he asked me where I wanted us to live when we get married. Talk about setting me up for heartbreak! Cold world!

  5. serene

    June 9, 2015 at 7:59 am

    Story of my life. No explanations, nothing. I moved on eventually.

  6. Billionaire in grace

    June 9, 2015 at 8:45 am

    Very nice….I really enjoyed it. But crying for a human being who doesn’t even care about you anymore. I can imagine how difficult it can be.

  7. chifire

    June 9, 2015 at 8:50 am

    I hate love.

    • Anon

      June 9, 2015 at 9:13 am

      Why now? Love isn’t complicated, people are…

  8. Takeseveralseats

    June 9, 2015 at 9:12 am

    Wow! What an asshole!! F**kboy Extraordinaire !

  9. keno

    June 9, 2015 at 9:18 am

    Love hurt sometimes that you have no clue when things went wrong.

  10. Enkay

    June 9, 2015 at 9:35 am

    It’s past time girls stop blaming themselves for everything that goes wrong in a relationship…. He’s cheating on you – “maybe I wasn’t taking care of him enough” he wakes up one day, breaks off contact and stops talking to you- “maybe it’s something I said or did”….. Puhleesee….. The “I still love him” part really gets to me because it happens a lot. Love kor, pretend to be friends ni. It’s ok to cry, but when you’re done dust yourself up, apply your makeup and sashay with your spine straight and tell yourself you deserve better. Awesome piece. Love it.

  11. VIv

    June 9, 2015 at 9:41 am

    This story is very close to my heart. You know, there really is something like ” the love of your life” or “your soulmate” and when you find that one person that you love so so much bt he/she doesn’t return those feelings, its simply the worst kind of hurt. I loved someone like that once, so much and so deeply bt alas it wasn’t meant to be. It even hurts more when you can’t even understand why it didn’t work out or they left without any reason. I still love him even after so many years even though I know it will never be. I hope one day I will get over him

  12. Melanin

    June 9, 2015 at 9:44 am

    Why does love hurts?

    • A Real Nigerian

      June 9, 2015 at 9:57 am

      Horrible English.

    • lol!

      June 29, 2015 at 4:59 pm

      Lol! Meanie

  13. deee

    June 9, 2015 at 10:08 am

    The part of life no one loves, buy can’t avoid. Cheers to all who passed through and came out stronger

  14. gwen

    June 9, 2015 at 11:11 am

    Every relationship needs a closure, without a closure you keep holding out the torch for a lover who is long gone….that is actually unfair! My two pence on this is to cry hard and move on…(Not easy though but what you must do because you can not give this person more power than he has already abused). He just does not deserve it!

    • Dee

      June 9, 2015 at 11:25 am

      Na real “a closure”.

      Relationship na weave on?

    • nene

      June 9, 2015 at 8:08 pm

      lmao

    • D

      June 10, 2015 at 4:13 am

      You are soooo wrong…I was reading comments that were so serious then bam!!!! Dee just had to say it. lmso!!!!

    • eeeeeeeeeee

      October 9, 2015 at 4:12 pm

      u na real craes……xo funny

  15. Psychic

    June 9, 2015 at 11:54 am

    i think every lady needs to go through this heartbreaks,cry very well please,loose all that excess love weight too,heartbreak the easiest diet since 1800.hopefully this happens in your early 20s so in your late 20s/30s,u have almost seen it all,u have decided the kind of man u want to be with,u have decided d ones u don’t even want to be seen with,theres a limit to how a man addresses u,because of the respect ur person exudes.so when someone says they leaving u,its either good riddance to bad rubbish or hey were u ever here-didnt know!. the one who will stay is just right at the corner. Please please don’t be desperate and let one boy who hasn’t determined the way his future his going come and be making u cry @ 33..keep them legs closed too..i used to think i was a sex freak and now its amazing how easy it is to abstaiiiiiiiiiin,it can be done,u 2 can do it

  16. Lucy

    June 9, 2015 at 11:57 am

    To all the guys who have acted this out!! God sees you oh!! He truly does. BAD BELLE

    ‘And then one day it stopped. No warning, you suddenly stopped communicating with me. No explanation. Nothing. I lost my mind. Something died inside of me that day. I couldn’t understand.’………………t’s been a while now, we pretend like we are friends….

    You better have you’re speech ready for Jesus…

  17. Miss Magic

    June 9, 2015 at 12:28 pm

    Lovely write-up!.. Love is indeed a beautiful feeling, and even when you get it right, it can still hurt once in awhile. Between, if someone is truly your soulmate, is the feeling not meant to be mutual??…

  18. oma charlez

    June 9, 2015 at 1:27 pm

    I used to think I was above been hurt till it happened. … I was extremely careful not to give all …. I played it safe… never attached emotions to sex, ‘cos I learnt early in life that whoever cares the least in a relationship dictates the tune…. and then one day in Nov last year. .. For the first time in my life, i saw a man and my heart skipped a bit! Lol…. He isn’t the Boris Kodjoe kinda handsome but he was cute! When we got talking, I found out that he was smart and intelligent, had a good businesss of his own. A vibrant young Engineer! The complete package…. who wouldnt fall for that. Looking back now, I don’t even see him like that anymore . But I bet the universe wanted to teach me a lesson. …. I lost control of my emotion! I did things I never thought I could do for a man. I didn’t use my head. …through the mind games, non-chalant attitude, I kept on thinking he would change with time. ..maybe if I loved him some more, showed him I was different from other gals , that he will reciprocate but nah, he still walked! It was a heart wrenching moment for me. All in all, I still care about him but will NEVER Ever get back with him… its a decision I made and have stood by it. He’s been wanting to make peace with me but I told him we don’t need to be in contact for that to happen. .. I’ve made peace with my spirit, learnt my lessons and moved on. Such is life…. win some , you lose some…..
    Life goes on.

  19. afia

    June 9, 2015 at 5:13 pm

    what we must know and understand is as we are able to let go of anger which is a feeling is the same as we do with love. If we go by the definition of love as what the Bible says then it won’t be all about how we feel. i have had my own share of but the great thing about my story is within two years after the hurt i got married to the coolest dude ever….nice piece though(love it)

  20. bonita

    June 10, 2015 at 12:15 am

    This write up just described my story..Life is. not always rosy and there is nothing fair in love and war…Sometimes I just think loving a guy is not worth it…I believe a girl should get her self esteem in place, love her self completely. before falling in love…I’ve been in verbally/emotionally abusive relationships.. my last boyfriend. just broke up with me cos at that moment,I was always in the hospital and he told it to my face and left..Since then,2013,I’ve just lost feelings to date lol…idk but I’m kinda happy alone

  21. Tkum

    June 10, 2015 at 12:53 pm

    it is well with ya’all spirits and souls….Amen!

  22. Ursula

    June 10, 2015 at 11:25 pm

    When you question the very meaning and authencity of love…*sigh*…lovely read Elle…

  23. chucx

    June 12, 2015 at 9:30 am

    Not to sound cold but.. its a world of misconceptions, ignorance about love and it’s purpose and people are expecting success with it?! Talk at about carrying fire and not be burned. People need to go for valid knowldge on these things to have chances of being successful at love relationships. It’s trial and error people are engaging. It’s painful! It will most likely end in pain.

  24. eeeeeeeeeee

    October 9, 2015 at 4:18 pm

    my sister ur head is there oooo…..To the men,”dont awaken love if all u want to do thereafter is sleep”….

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Join our ONLINE CAIE Refresher course NOW. From August until October

Star Features

Advertisement
css.php