Mya Williams: The Entitled Bride

Your phone rings, you pick up and it’s your friend on the other end screaming those magical words into your ear “He Proposed”! You immediately follow with the requisite scream “ahhhhhhhhhh” and launch into multiple questions – how did he do it? Where? When? What does your ring look like? And just like that, another entitled bride is born.

Why do some brides feel so entitled? Why automatically assume that because you’re getting married, you must spend the six months in the run up to your wedding annoying and frustrating all your friends in the name of getting what you want because it is “your day”. Absolutely! It’s your day, yes and we are very happy for you, we truly are but we don’t want to have to endure weeks of character bashing, incessant whining and glorified self-entitlement because you are getting married. These traits are the reasons for the breakdown of many friendships and relationships during the planning of weddings. I’m okay to tolerate a hint of bridezilla in every bride, I think it comes with the territory but you know what, let’s reel it in a bit yeah?

I am NOT okay to:

• Spend my life savings paying for my bridesmaid dress because you envision your bridesmaids wearing a particular designer, when there are other more affordable options.
• Spend an exorbitant amount of money on an extravagant shower because that’s what you’ve been dreaming of.
• Have you dictate the gift I get you.
• Have you speak to me rudely.
• Watch you speak down to someone because you feel “they just don’t get it” because they are single.

You know, I get that the planning can sometimes be overwhelming and you may find yourself lashing out now and again during the process, but you’ve got to be able to catch yourself and realize when you are pushing it. In the event you do not realize it yourself, when a friend points it out to you, think about it for a second and not automatically assume the friend is not being supportive. I fell out with a long time friend after her wedding and though we were quite close, I had to admit to myself it was a long time coming.  Our problems came to a head because she was the quintessential entitled bride.

First off, her attitude stunk from the moment she got engaged, right through to the end. Her response to every question asked regarding the wedding was either a shrug, a roll of her eyes or a rude remark. Whenever the bridal party got together to discuss details of the wedding, the tension in the air was so thick; you could cut it with a knife. What was to be a fun time for our group of friends became a time of emotional warfare! Then the demands started rolling in; the bridesmaid dresses were deathly expensive because she wanted a certain aesthetic, we all ignored the price and paid up, just to ensure the bride got what she wanted.

Then came the shower plans. Brides, a shower is thrown BY your friends FOR you; they determine the theme if there’s one, they organize it, do the planning, bank roll it and you’re just supposed to arrive and appreciate it damn it! You are not supposed to try to dictate the shower you get, it is just not right; it is bad manners if you ask me. We were planning a cozy shower for the bride to be held at one of our houses. There was going to be lots to eat and drink as well as lots of candy because she has a sweet tooth. I was personally in charge of the games and was the appointed MC for the evening. Halfway through the planning, a little birdie tells us the bride mentioned she actually wants a spa shower. Regardless of the fact that things had been bought, food and cake ordered and plans were in full swing, to accommodate the bride’s wishes, we started making calls to spas, inquiring about treatment prices, their food prices (as you couldn’t bring your own catering for most of them). In the end, a preliminary budget confirmed our fears that it would simply be too expensive, if we were to throw the spa shower as well as buy her individual gifts (as we all wanted to do). This didn’t go down well with her highness and she made it known on the day of the non-spa shower. She turned up very late, barely acknowledged her guests who had come to celebrate her, turned up her nose at the food and left halfway through the games, claiming a crisis with her dress.

By the wedding day, she wasn’t speaking to most of us and the feeling of excitement had fully transitioned into “can we just get through the day”. It was a very painful experience to say the least; I felt unappreciated and invisible and when we eventually stopped talking, it didn’t come as a complete shock. Till this day, no apology has been offered to any of us her friends for her behaviour during her wedding and I have finally stopped hoping for one.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime