From trying too hard and being too nice, to focusing on the wrong things, there are probably a lot of things you’re doing without noticing that they are bringing you negative energy. Here are a few things you can correct to help you do and be better.
Expectations will almost always cripple the way you react to reality. Assuming that people will behave a certain way will have you getting hurt and disappointed. Often. It is important to plan and prepare yourself for situations, but while doing that, you must leave room for things you can’t possibly plan for. Expect surprises and learn from them.
You need to watch and understand before you jump into anything. Observation corrects a lot of mistakes in advance. When you are unaware and you misstep, sometimes you get a do-over, but most of the time, you don’t get a second chance. You don’t get a second chance at making a first impression. There are rarely second intros or interviews. So don’t bank simply on being yourself. As great as that is, you need to understand the people you will be dealing with and how to relate with them. You need to ask questions and understand an environment before you get into it.
Don’t do too much
Trying too hard usually gets you the opposite of what you want. You send a paragraph and get an ‘okay.’ You try to be nice and get snubbed. It’s not about you. The world doesn’t hate you. You’re just doing the most and nobody likes that. Less is more – most of the time. If you find that you’re pushing too hard and getting a negative result, it’s never too late to pull back.
Attention is not your friend
If you can remember that nobody cares until they have to, you’ll get a lot further faster. You do not want that ‘notice me’ tag. Sometimes you might not notice you’re asking for attention, but everybody else does. Just know that if you’re doing something good enough to be noticed, it will be.
There’s no need to amplify things that don’t need to be seen. Once it’s relevant, it’ll get the attention it deserves. The fact that you’re not desperately trying to get noticed will bring respect.
‘Mind your business’ is an underrated piece of advice. Most people don’t take it because it’s usually said rudely, but if you can understand the principle behind it, you’ll be much better for it. Focus on your own thing. Pay attention to what pays you and keep it moving. Whether it seems like it or not, we all have limited time. Don’t waste time on things that don’t benefit you.
Everyone you meet, every situation you face, every mistake you make, has something to teach you. Open your mind to new information. If you don’t learn today, you’re no better than you were yesterday. That’s how improvement works. Taking every opportunity to learn something new and better yourself is the surest way to grow.