2020 is Finally Right Around the Corner… Join Us As We Recount Nigeria’s Achievements in the Last Decade

As we’re about to go into the year 2020, we recall all the nice jingles about the future… all the way in 2020. Education for all by the year 2020, or was it 2000? In any case, we must say that Nigerians have had the best few years ever. From becoming one of the richest countries in the world to winning the award for being the only country in the world that is open-defecation free. Nigeria has been on global news as one of the best countries to visit.

However, haters will always hate and wailers will always wail. There are some who do not want the progress of Nigeria and will do everything in their power to make sure that Nigerian is seen in a bad light. There are also some people who, even if riches are poking their noses, they will always lie that Nigeria is the poverty capital of the world and that Nigerians are poor. What they will not tell you is that it is only the ‘lazy Nigerian youths’ that are poor. Every hardworking person is very rich and for those who are not even working, they receive a token of 5,000 Naira every month.

So, now that we are about to start another decade, let us quickly go through our numerous achievements so far.

Enough food… In Fact Food in Abundance

Recently, Nigerians have developed the habit of wasting food, and that is because there is an excess supply of food in the country. More than ever before, we have so much – too much rice in Kano. The best part of it all is that in all parts of the country, you can conveniently eat 30 Naira food and your stomach will be full for the next 3 days. Food is so much in Nigeria that we are beginning to feed our neighbouring countries.

Transportation… Effective & Affordable

Transportation all over the nation couldn’t be better. All over the country, you don’t have to be restricted to the uncomfortable buses any more – especially when traveling from one state to another. Our railway system has been rejuvenated and Nigerians are extremely happy with the outcome. The trains have an en suite toilet, beddings, air conditioners, kitchen, cinema, laundry room, and everything to make your travel sweeter! Just imagine being in a moving hotel. In Lagos, the traffic has magically disappeared. When CNN Travel described Lagos traffic as hellish, everyone knew they were only hating. The time distance from the Island to the Mainland is just 30 minutes and within 15 minutes, you can easily move from Ajah to Apapa. Lagosians are happy!

Security… Anywhere You Go

When Sai Baba and VP Osinbajo promised Nigerians maximum security in 2015, everyone scoffed and yinmu-ed at him. But look at us now. The Kaduna-Abuja road has been bandit-free and people can now walk majestically through it. With a wave of his wand, President Buhari has been able to clear all Boko Haram members. The most interesting part is that they all gave their lives to God, became born-again and are now fit to be recruited into the Nigerian Army. What better set of people can we get into the army if not ex Boko-Haram members? For the past two months, there have been no single complaints of deaths or armed robberies or kidnappings. Our Special Anti-Robbery Squad (SARS) and Nigerian Police Force have been up and running. If you doubt that, check our IGP – he’s losing weight!

Kwaraption… SaiBaba Did It

Thanks to Baba Bubu, these past years have seen kwaraption being thrown out the window. Every sector is corruption-free! The rule of law has been upheld, our elections have been peacefully conducted. Buhari clamped hard on corrupt officials to the extent that they were all scared to steal funds and had to beg monkeys and snakes to do the job for them. The best part of it all was when EFCC requested a petition to arrest jagaban for the bullion vans that went into his homes during elections. Immediately EFCC got the petition, fiaam – jagaban was arrested! He’s in custody now.

1 dollar to 1 Naira… We Bought Naija & Grew the Naira

The rate at which our Naira ‘revalued’ itself, Nigerians were just too shocked. Before, it was 180 Naira to 1 Dollar, now it is 1 Naira to 1 Dollar. If you are still arguing that 1 dollar is 355 Naira, then it means you are a wailer and you don’t like the progress of this country. With the speed at which we are moving, our Naira will soon have better money value than Dollars.

Electricity… What is a Generator?

For the past few years, Nigerians have been praying for PHCN to ‘take the light’. The power supply is just too much and Nigerians don’t know what to do with the excess supply of power. Because of this, the ease of doing business in Nigeria has been perfect. Nigerians have also thrown away their generators and we don’t need solar anymore – after all, rain has even been falling abnormally.

Health… Is Wealth

When our Minister of Labour said that we have enough doctors in Nigeria and those who want to leave are free, we all thought he wasn’t serious. But just take a look around. Our healthcare system is currently the second-best in the world. Our hospitals are well equipped to handle emergency cases and our facilities are top-notch. All the doctors who have run away from the country are all running back.

Lazy Nigerian yoots

All lazy Nigerian yoots have been made lazier by this present administration and we are not happy about this. While many have been able to get the jobs of their dreams – thanks to the very high employment rate – the few who have refused to work are being paid 5,000 Naira monthly by Sai Baba and VP Osinbajo.

School children are being fed every day and the elderly are being paid full pensions – whether they were in the civil service or not.

Discipline… Ajuwaya

Everyone knows that this present administration does not condone nonsense. Remember that senator that was caught on camera beating up a woman? Well, he is in prison now. Some SARS officials who harassed and killed innocent citizens are all behind bars. Even our first lady who was threatening to become a wailer and join the enemies has been shown her place and restricted to za oza room.

The best part of these past few years is that Nigerian is totally free of pot-holes and our roads are all smooth and safe. Our senators are also the best in the world. They are now buying made-in-Nigeria cars, introducing laws that will benefit the people and they believe so much in the freedom of speech and expression.

For the first time ever, Nigeria is totally debt-free, all Nigerians in Diaspora have come back to their father’s land and Nigerians finally have the country of their dreams.

You think otherwise? You’re just a hater and a wailer.

Naija to the world!

*** Wake up o, Wake up! You’ve been dreaming***