J.T. Opemipo: Finding Love Beyond Mills & Boons

J.T. Opemipo’s Finding Love Beyond Mills & Boons is a 3-part story and this is the first installation.

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Growing up, I was captivated by the depictions of handsome men boasting chiselled jawlines and exquisitely sculpted bodies in romantic fiction novels. Their words flowed effortlessly, they always knew what to say, and their art of wooing made women blush. These were the men who dominated my daydreams; men who were gifted with a divine prowess of uttering the right words and gestures that left every woman feeling special.  

From the Mills & Boon books, I fell head over heels for romantic movies. Witnessing the novels that had accompanied me over time come to life on the screen brought excitement, and gradually, they formed a sturdy foundation for my perception of an ideal man: a charming conversationalist who knew exactly what to say to me.

So imagine my surprise when the men I encountered barely matched the idea I had in my mind. Imagine my shock as my reality proved to be vastly different from the books and movies. “Crushed” perfectly describes the emotion I felt.  All I longed for was to live out the fairy tales I had consumed countless times,

I also wished for those chance encounters, like unexpectedly connecting with someone while shopping. I yearned for a moment when a car would come to a halt before me, and a striking man would step out, recognising that he had never come across anyone quite like me. It’s not that these situations never unfolded, but they rarely played out exactly as I had imagined. The reality was different; they were a diverse group of individuals who didn’t quite conform to the flawless image I had pictured in my head.

Imagine my surprise when, one fateful day, it appeared as if God was pointing out my future husband to me. This man stood worlds apart from anyone I would have ever considered. As someone who values personal style, he was a stark contrast to my usual preference. He was bold and conspicuously lacked restraint. He embodied everything I could have never considered in a potential partner. So, when I initially began to sense that God might be drawing my attention to him, I immediately suppressed it. I remember pleading with God, expressing my reluctance to be in a relationship with someone who didn’t fit the criteria I had set and whose presence might cause me embarrassment.

The mere thought of being with this person was unbearable for me. Every time I felt like God was hinting at him, I recoiled, pleaded, and consistently dismissed what I was sensing. In those moments, I failed to remember the teachings of my pastor about the importance of not stifling the Holy Spirit when it’s communicating. Recognising that this was a critically important matter, I reached a point where I convinced myself that it must be the devil once more, planting misleading thoughts in my mind. For an entire year, I dismissed these feelings.

In the following year, the more I encountered this man, the more my irritation grew. I could list countless reasons why he couldn’t become my partner. Despite this, my restlessness persisted. I deliberately avoided the topic during my prayer sessions and steered clear of discussions about relationships, mistakenly thinking that by doing so, I could put an end to the unrest within me. Ironically, my efforts to suppress these feelings only seemed to intensify my restlessness.

It wasn’t until I finally engaged in a heart-to-heart conversation with the Holy Spirit that a significant shift occurred. The outcome of that dialogue left me shattered. It became clear that I was being called to embark on a unique journey of praying for this man. My task was to fervently pray that whatever veiled his perception of me as a potential spouse would be lifted, and that his eyes would be opened to truly see me in that light.

My entire fantasy of unexpectedly crossing paths with my future husband and witnessing his immediate admiration for me the moment he looked my way was completely dashed. In a sudden twist, God had unveiled my husband before me, and to complicate matters further, I found myself needing to pray for him to view me as his life partner. My mind was consumed with the thought, “Can someone please snap me out of this unsettling dream!” Anyway, the sequence of events afterwards evolved into an intense journey defined by love, unwavering obedience, and audacious faith.

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Feature Image by Rodnae Productions for Pexels