Stephanie Inakoju: Why Self Control is Your Only Defence Against Silent Dream Killers

Sometimes, I think about how easy it is for a person’s life to get ruined or dreams to be destroyed. These destructions are mostly caused by taking things lightly, failing to maintain control over our choices, and thinking we can easily bypass certain situations.

Self-control is needed to achieve any dream or goal. It is synonymous with self-discipline. When there is self-control, anything is achievable in this world.

One day, while I was in a taxi, we passed by the shop where I had learned fashion design before moving away. I noticed my former boss’s daughter inside the shop, completely absorbed in conversation with a guy. In the past, she had been in a difficult situation with a man who abandoned her and their newborn baby. Now, she is struggling to get by without his support, relying solely on her mother, who helps take care of both her and the baby. Despite having a tertiary education and many aspirations for her future, her life took a drastic turn when she became pregnant. The man had promised her everything, but he vanished when the responsibilities of parenthood arose.

His affirmations and lies made her believe her dreams were still within reach. With just a few words from him, she built her entire future on those promises. If only she had exercised self-control and hadn’t allowed someone to enter her life and derail her dreams, she could have achieved so much more.

Lots of people, girls especially, are in her kind of situation. Their dreams have been cut short by just a little fantasy or lies. It gets them stuck in a particular place, unable to move on and chase their dreams.

Ironically, people in similar situations eventually become parents and then transfer those dreams to their kids to chase. It is one of the reasons some parents force their kids to study a course in a tertiary institution—to fulfil that dream they’ve always wanted. But on some occasions, these children want something else.

And those who were unable to have kids live bitter lives in regret of their past decisions.

What I want you to understand is the importance of thinking carefully before making decisions. Having a strong sense of self-control and clarity can be incredibly beneficial. Set big dreams for yourself and do everything legally possible to achieve them. Life is not easy at all. Surprisingly, it’s often the things that can ruin our lives that are the easiest to do. It’s so simple to laze around and accomplish nothing, to beg for money just to get by, to smoke, to engage in casual relationships, or to drink. These actions may provide a temporary escape from life’s problems, but once that moment passes, you’ll find the issues you were trying to escape are still waiting for you. Your bank account might be empty, you may lack skills, and your living situation might be dire, but you should always focus on your dream. Many lazy individuals use those as an excuse to remain inactive, spending their time on fleeting pleasures that offer only short-term relief from their problems.

In everything I do, I always make sure that my aspirations for myself are still on the line, my route is still very visible, and I’m doing everything possible to achieve the goal I have for myself and enjoy life without any worries. I do believe that everyone wants the best for themselves, but some lack the discipline to keep themselves going to achieve their goal. Please, keep your self-control in check. Always have it, because it would prevent you from wasting your time on levity or sadness.

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