Constructive Criticism or Just Hate

Reason dictates that when you make a mistake, there’s always a bunch of people on the side-line who will get on your case and try as much as they can to put you in check. Sometimes it’s your mother, other times your friends; but if it’s anybody else out of this circle then the person is just a hater.

My first introduction to the existence of haters was in rap music. There’s the gloated rapper with a gold tooth, gold chain and golden hallucination on what he thinks of himself, and all the people who never thought he’d make it out of the hood. Indeed, nobody thought he would, since he was a gun-slinging cocaine-selling jailbird; but now he has a song on radio and it is the best opportunity to spit right in the faces of everyone who shook their heads when they saw him smoke weed first thing in the morning for the last eight years.

Now the word “hate” has gone beyond just a few neighbours who think little of you. With the help of social media and the revelation of everything under the sun, hate is the new middle name for anybody who breaks a sentence with the word – “but…”.

Your music is good…BUT all the songs sound the same.
Your dress is lovely…BUT isn’t it rather short?
Yes I love her charisma…BUT she should ditch that accent.

If you cannot applaud or concur, if your response does not correspond with what everyone else is saying, I’m sorry to inform you…BUT you are a hater!

In today’s society with the immense assistance of social media, life should be easy. Why criticize Tonto Dikeh’s talent, at least she is pretty, has a booty and has money – what do you have? How dare you question Ayo Oritsejafor’s jet acquisition – do you want God to strike you dead? How can you say she is a poor actor, or he is a bad manager, or she is a terrible TV host – you are just a hater!
Especially on twitter, you have all these exaggerations just for a morsel of bread – in this case a re-tweet!

Understandably, criticism on a public forum should be taken with a pinch of salt; we really shouldn’t conform to the judgement of others, but neither should we be blinded by our own defects and be so deluded to think that anyone who opposes or questions our talent or actions is just out to demean our worth and thereby is a jealous raving hater!
But it is true – Halima Abubakar’s sense of style is horrid, today’s brand of music is becoming exceedingly trite, and some OAPs should drop their screeching tone and bad accent! It is not hate, it is a truth.

We are a growing generation of zombies, we find it hard to truly express how we feel about anything; the fear of being called a bloody hater hangs like a garrotte around our neck. We don’t want to be choked so we nod and agree: “yes, you are a fantastic actress!” When in reality she is nothing close to being fantastic.

So how do we improve as a people? How do we strive for excellence when, as a matter of fact, people get celebrated for being wack, uninspiring and unexceptional? How do we deliver better TV series, better movie scripts, better presenters, and even better shows or events?
Of course, there are many extremes. It’s unfair to call-out Banky W’s size of head, or tease the perceived size of Wande Coal’s manhood (based on a picture that went viral a few years back). These examples are noxious and unpardonable. But when there’s a simple comment that disagrees with, may be, Dbanj’s lip-syncing incident, or questions a celebrity’s claim to fame, it shouldn’t come with the hate tag.

Trust Nigerians, as usual, we take it to another high. Sometimes I feel we pay too much attention to a group of haters who only exist in our heads. These days, celebrities hire online team strictly to counter any opinion that is not in their favour. Celebrity “voltrons” have their fangs up and ready to attack anyone who disagrees with what they perceive their idol to be. Too much sweat for nothing, if you ask me.

As long as we continue to applaud the ordinary, seeking friends and followers rather than speak or accept our truths so as to improve our crafts and ultimately improve society then we are still a long way from lala land.

Photo Credit: Google Images.

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Joy Isi Bewaji is the author of Eko Dialogue, a collection of short stories on the intrigues of Lagos, interpreted on stage by The Crown Troupe of Nigeria. She is a writer and columnist in respected media platforms. She is a 2006 winner of LEAP Africa Awards. She presently engages in celebrity PR.

80 Comments on Constructive Criticism or Just Hate
  • Dee February 21, 2013 at 1:18 pm

    Let’s be honest, most of the people called haters are indeed just that! It is perfectly ok to criticise someone but that should never be an excuse to be cruel and rude. If you never have a kind word to say about a particular person then something is wrong with you as no one is all bad. For example some people bash Toke everyday no matter what the girl does. Even when she dosen’t look bad they’ll make references like why is she always on the red carpet same about Karen and co. How is that your problem, why are you always on Bella Naija? The internet unfortunately gives a lot of cowards the chance to bully afterall no one knows who you are. Most people would never say the things theywrite on sites to the person’s face! So let’s criticise by all means but do it in a charitable manner.

  • Jo! February 21, 2013 at 1:20 pm

    Thank you!!!

  • Tae February 21, 2013 at 1:21 pm

    It’s ok t

  • nene February 21, 2013 at 1:22 pm

    Haters hate! and CRITICS criticize. people need to differentiate between a HATER and a CRITIC, haters are always negative no matter what, most times they don’t even have “BUT” they just say their negative thoughts, but CRITICS have subjective standards and perceptions and they say it as it is, most times with the use of “BUT”. The word HATER is just played out, and people (who think they have haters) use it to comfort and validate themselves when nobody is even hating on them (e.g actresses, musicians, etc). For you to feel like you have a hater, you must think very highly of yourself. seriously who gives a shit really about what you’re doing, unless someone you’re competing with. people will comment because we like to gossip but after that, ONTO THE NEXT ONE. For example, i once commented on the ugliness of a female musician,and my comment was censored. I do not hate this musician, but this is my personal standard on beauty. In the real world, there are very few haters, but millions of critics. I believe i’m a critic and not a hater.

    • Blake February 21, 2013 at 3:06 pm

      It’s one thing to say that someone has an ugly attitude but different when you are talking about their physical beauty. It’s almost like saying God failed and made a mistake in creating the person that way. I have a very close friend that has lots of scars on her face because of lupus and if you were to see a picture of her – In your own words you would have probably labeled her ugly because of your personal standard on beauty . You would have labeled her ugly without even knowing how and why she has those scars. I wouldn’t be to quick to call that a critic or call a fellow human being ugly when you have not created one yourself.

    • Blake February 21, 2013 at 5:50 pm

      I meant *call that a critique

      • nene February 21, 2013 at 7:18 pm

        i stand by my words. i made a statement according to my own personal taste, i can’t say someone is pretty, when they are ugly, same way i can’t say a bag is beautiful of its ugly. people get too sensitive when they hear the truth, and then they call other people haters. how does calling someone or something ugly offend God, at the end of the day not all fingers are equal, and i understand that, but the truth is the truth, and would obviously hurt.

      • Blake February 21, 2013 at 7:55 pm

        Calling something (like an object or a dress) ugly is different from calling another fellow human being that God created ugly. You are the kind of person that will call a fellow human being with dysmorphic feature or an handicapped ugly. It’s pretty sad. I don’t know if you have a child but if you do or when you do have one – I wonder what your reaction would be if someone called them ugly. I am pretty sure you wouldn’t be jumping in excitement if someone called any of your relatives ugly. You are not God, their creator or their maker. Who are you to call them ugly. A mere fellow human being. Like *esteelauder said below “Criticise people’s actions i.e what they have control over but not things they have absolutely no control over.”

    • Winny February 21, 2013 at 9:01 pm

      What exactly do you define as beauty let alone your personal standard of beauty.

    • Funlola February 21, 2013 at 11:39 pm

      The fact that you came back to stand by your point only shows one thing. You are a CHILD, and you have a really ugly heart, soul and spirit. Only someone with no light, love and beauty within, will ever look at a person and say they are ugly. Ugly is a very strong word, and should never be used to talk about another human being. You must be filled with a lot of hate and darkness, to look at someone and think UGLY. Nene, how old are you again, 15? Cos you sound like an empty headed teenager. No need to descend to your level and abuse your parents, because your upbringing calls to question here. How were you raised, how, that you think calling a human being ugly is okay. Your mother must be so proud, honestly. I would love to see a picture of you, even if you are the most beautiful woman on earth, that statement you made, just makes you ugly. Beauty within, is the most attractive quality, as external beauty will fade. Someone like you will spend so much money on plastic surgery when age starts to tell, because you have not devoted energy to beauty within. If you’ve grown up all your life being told you are pretty, you are beautiful, look at yourself very well, you are the one that is ugly. I hope you grow out of this, being a teenager or a young adult doesn’t excuse such behaviour. A 13 year old won an Olympic gold medal last year. If you are a fully grown woman, my dear you need prayers. BN, you better post my comment, no one should be allowed to continue thinking and saying someone else is ugly. If she wasn’t given home training, she can learn from outside.

  • corolla February 21, 2013 at 1:27 pm

    I don’t know which social media you go on o, but many times people are just down right spiteful and destructive with their words.they bring up dirt and things that don’t even have anything to do with the issue at hand.

  • Tiki February 21, 2013 at 1:32 pm

    “This write-up is just silly. Doesn’t make any sense, didn’t enrich my life one bit “. That’s hating.
    “The writer failed to make a clear distinction between hating, destructive criticism, and constructive criticism. Hating is a verbal dressing down of sorts, usually by insulting, insinuating allegations which may or may not be true. Destructive criticism is pointing out one’s shortcomings, and may stretch to ridiculing them on the basis of these. Constructive criticism is pointing out shortcomings, and following up with recommendations or suggestions on how to solve these. A debate as important as this should have one common base – the definitions of the words in question” – that is constructive criticism.

    I’m all for ‘live and let live’, ‘do you and I do me’, and ‘mind your own business’ ish. However, people need to learn to weigh the words said to them, and seperate the grain from the chaff. If everybody who doesn’t kiss your ass is a hater, how will you learn enough to grow?

    • Non professional opinion February 21, 2013 at 1:52 pm

      Tiki baby o! Your parents money wasn’t waisted on your education. “Byuriffly” said.

      • Jay February 21, 2013 at 2:17 pm

        I could have said it better Tiki is on point

      • ella b February 21, 2013 at 4:51 pm

        @bn moderator…why did u remove my comment to non professional opinion/….u r just a hater!!! :P

    • Partyrider February 21, 2013 at 2:44 pm

      #BOOM

    • Bukky February 21, 2013 at 3:21 pm

      I agree, very silly and lopsided write up.

    • anonymous February 21, 2013 at 3:27 pm

      GBAM! well said

    • joy February 21, 2013 at 4:50 pm

      preach on Tiki. The write up really does not make any sense at all and some of the examples used were very unnecessary. It’s very obvious that the writer is more on the “haters” side. I hate it when people write things without analyzing all aspects of the topic they’re writing about. That’s what made this article so uninspiring. you said it all dear :))

    • Annie February 21, 2013 at 5:01 pm

      This!!! From the first quotation mark to the last fullstop, i totally agree.

    • Toyin February 21, 2013 at 5:45 pm

      Thank you, Tiki. I love to see people still using their logic and reason. The society has rather become overly sensitive with an attitude of nobody can say anything to me. The word, “hater” and “jealous” is so overused, misused that it’s very annoying and an excuse for people to think they are all perfect. And, people also define constructive criticism as “hating”, which is the reason many people are not growing or learning the way they should. Attacking someone’s physical beauty is different but suggesting a better dress style or hairstyle is automatically hating. You need to work on your bad/rude attitude, oh, she’s hating just bcos I’m confident. No need to show that much cleavage, oh, she’s jealous. You look better with your natural hair than these hideous wigs/weaves you wear, oh, she’s jealous that I look better than her. The reality is, people including me should learn to take in and at least think about what others say to them whether it was done in a perfect way or not. I mean, it’s just ridiculous when people whine about everything and say everybody is jealous of them. Take a look at yourself.

    • lilly February 21, 2013 at 11:05 pm

      *standing ovation* Thanks Tiki

  • kemi February 21, 2013 at 1:33 pm

    i believe there are three types of people:
    1)The Enemy- this is the actual and original HATER. This person always has negative thoughts and statements, no matter what.
    2)The Critic- this person makes subjective statements that are based on personal and thoughts and ideas. and of course you have constructive and obstructive critics, it depends on how you present your points/statements.
    3) The Hater-jealous person, always picking out flaws. Doesn’t necessarily hate but feels inadequate and has to put their frustration on someone else by always judging them.

    Most people fall under hater and critics, while an enemy should be avoided at all cost. people often mistake critics for haters. I always say a hater is in between a critic and an enemy. most people who comment on blogs are critics, and very few are haters. You can’t hate what you don’t know. shikena!

  • kemi February 21, 2013 at 1:35 pm

    …and sometimes people who say the TRUTH are also called HATERS, when in fact they’re CRITICS, with their own personal opinions. For example, i can say Genevieve Nnaji is an average actress, and people will say i’m a hater. It’s just a matter of opinion.

  • Bamzi February 21, 2013 at 1:37 pm

    Dear writer, that Wande coal piece was offensive, absolutely unnecessary and inappropriate for this article. I’m sure you could have found, and can still find a better example to use. I perceive an indirect diss there or what else could it be? And no, i’m not a hired voltron.. neither am i a hater. I’m only constructively criticizing.

    • kemi February 21, 2013 at 1:42 pm

      i concur!

    • joy February 21, 2013 at 5:00 pm

      I agree Bamzi. That part was very disrespectful. This article is wrong on so many levels!

  • Blogger February 21, 2013 at 1:40 pm

    “we find it hard to truly express how we feel about anything; the fear of being called a bloody hater “, Ehn, really?So you mean people have been holding back? I can only imagine the comments when people decide to truly express themselves!!!

  • Gbemmy February 21, 2013 at 1:44 pm

    Uhmmm while I think some are just good critics , some are just haters …. Let’s be very mindful of how we jump on people’s matter when we have a lot of negative things in our cupboards.. After hating on Goldie all her life the lady died of hypertension …only God knows if she was thinking about all the negative stories about her.. While some have thick skin some can’t even stand such both medically and emotionally

  • Jay February 21, 2013 at 1:52 pm

    So I never understood why people are always so quick to tag most critics as haters. I’ve always believed that critics don’t owe it to anyone to be nice or even contructive (or offer solutions) while expressing their objective opinons. Especially because the artist, celebrity / creator has put themselves or their work out there to be judged.

    However, I recently created something and shared it with the world and it was very hard to be on the recieving end, especially when it seemed as though the critic is just nitpicking & can’t really find anything wrong with your work. After months working tirelessly, pouring you heart into something, it feels like it’s your baby, so it’s tough when people are unnessarily harsh.

    I think Nigerians are particularly hard on haters cos it feels like you’re against so many more odds here, it’s so much tougher to be exceptional and successfully create anything here so at least efforts should be ‘commended’ and encouraged to do better

    • Annie February 21, 2013 at 2:27 pm

      I have been on both sides of this coin (the ctitic & the critique) & as hard as it is to BE critiqued I used my experince as a critic to combat the felling of being ‘attacked’. Basically what i do is this, i ask myself what kind of mindset i am using to critique someone else. If i am being objective, because i genuinely think the person can do or be better then i have to assume that this is the same mindwset that another person would critique me in. It makes it easier to see the message & not the person behind the message. It also makes it easier to accept the message.

      • Annie February 21, 2013 at 3:06 pm

        *critiqued

      • Non professional opinion February 21, 2013 at 3:52 pm

        Your attitude is the ideal pov for anyone in the public eye. Fame is not for the thin-skinned. I always pray to be able to discern the difference btwn hate and an opportunity to learn and grow.

    • Tiki February 21, 2013 at 5:56 pm

      Every critic worth their salt ends their critique with recommendations on how to ameliorate the situation under review. If a person fails to do that, she/he is not a critic, but a destroyer of dreams.

      Same way the person doesn’t have to like what you say, you don’t have to like what they label you.

  • Mama mia!!! February 21, 2013 at 2:08 pm

    I’ve always said it and stand by word. As long as u aren’t one’s parents, friends, relatives or siblings leave them alone! Especially when they are grown ass women and men. Your going to blogs to insult or be rude to someone shows how jobless of a person you really are. Like Mom will always say “If you do not have anything nice to say to someone you have no contact whatsoever with, keep your mouth shut and move on” It’s sad that we carry people who are obviously living their life on our head, I don’t even advice one to give concrete criticisms on one they have no relationship to/with cause for all we know we are only left with what the “gossip sites” feed us it or what we think we see which might either be true or not. Can’t we all just get along and accept each other despite our differences? Having said this, there are still cases that are much more obvious and you might wanna give your point view e.g Cases like, someone murdering another, racial discrimination, culture, domestic violence, religious intolerance etc. these are where we should be channelling our energy towards and not people’s personal life. After all, God made it easy for us by saying ” Let he who is without sin cast the first stone”!!!

  • Mama mia!!! February 21, 2013 at 2:09 pm

    *Constructive criticism

  • Peachy_mo February 21, 2013 at 2:21 pm

    So have we all learnt the difference between hating and criticizing? And will we emulate what we’ve learnt lest we have waves guilt next time death strikes (as in the case of Goldie)

  • Yogurt February 21, 2013 at 2:22 pm

    I agree there are a few gaps here and there but I totally get where she’s coming. The one that immediately comes to mind is the recent Omotola craze. I think she’s a good actress btw but very much overhyped. I have been dubbed a hater countlessly for saying that.

    • Bukki February 21, 2013 at 10:24 pm

      Goodluck to you. You know how haters are known? Their critique is usually senseless and shallow.

  • Deedee February 21, 2013 at 2:26 pm

    Let me see. Until recently, the demographic of BN readers has evolved, and we are beginning to read a lot of pure vitrol, gbagauns, and some trashy comments. This wasn’t so before, and it has unleashed a brand of hating, which is common on other blogs. I used to think BN, was above that, but its a commercial site, and the posh and well educated represent the minority. Now back to responses BN readers post on people’s comments, some of them are just sheer hating. Gbagaun’s for example, the way people respond borders on destructive criticism. If you are going to at least make fun of the person’s comment, yeah, we do that to friends in our everyday lives, bet you are not mean to them, unlike on here though. Point out the mistake, light heartedly, offer the right command of English and move on. Some people are just sheer bullies, and the comment section of online forums, has given them the avenue to just be mean. That people is HATING. I can say Omotola is an average actress, to me that’s my opinion. I’ve seen her in a lot of movies, and I still don’t get the hype. I watched her reality show, and if she’s a good an actress as people say she is, she should have acted her way through, and it will be believable. We all know reality TV is scripted. An actress cannot follow a script? Genevieve Nnaji, to me is also an average actress. She was cut from Chimamanda’s movie adaptation, whether it was a small part or not, that says something. If she was at Anika Noni Rose’s standard (they’ve both been in the business for a long time), even if it was 2 lines, they would have kept her in. Should my opinion be classed as HATING, I don’t think so. I expect a high standard from Nollywood, for goodness sake, they’ve been doing this business for decades, yet no improvement. Compare them to Hollywood stars who started around the same time as they did, who may not have been so good, but see how phenomenal their acting is now. Mind you, I am talking about “their acting skills”, not comparing Nollywood to Hollywood. Example Leonardo di Caprio, he was an average actor in Titanic, boy he’s gotten so good now. Look at Will Smith, he started out, a not so good actor, but look at him now, he’s gotten Oscar nominations. I can give many examples, but these Nollywood screen goddesses, are just the same, and the crop they have now, just makes me sad. I said to someone Genevieve is the Jennifer Aniston of Nigeria. Popular, beautiful, but acts the same way. She went down on my throat, and called me a HATER. I just gave up. If expecting a higher standard of professionalism from your craft, labels me as a hater, don’t blame me why I would rather go see Les Miserables 4 times (which I have), than pay $5 for IrokoTV subscription.

    • gift February 21, 2013 at 4:20 pm

      I agree with the fist part of your comment! The demographic of Bella Naija has changed and that is because they have added some rather unnecessary content. Like most Naija blog, Bella Naija is edging towards gossip and sensational stories and the audience from other blogs are migrating here. I just hope Bella Naija evaluates their content. They had carved a niche for themselves but now they are slowly joining the ranks of good for nothing blogs.

    • Jiddah February 21, 2013 at 4:36 pm

      Post your comment not post your article.

      Make is concise and brief – Criticism

    • ella b February 21, 2013 at 4:46 pm

      DEEDEE PLEASE YOUR ARTICLE IS TOO LONG HAA..THIS IS NOT A JOURNAL MBOK..LEAVE THE WRITING TO THE AUTHOT AND ”COMMENT” NOT REWRITE…PHEW!!!

    • ella b February 21, 2013 at 4:46 pm

      DEEDEE PLEASE YOUR ARTICLE IS TOO LONG HAA..THIS IS NOT A JOURNAL MBOK..LEAVE THE WRITING TO THE AUTHOR AND ”COMMENT” NOT REWRITE…PHEW!!!

    • Hmm February 21, 2013 at 6:52 pm

      Ah ah people. Instead of reading the comment, you’re focusing on the lenght.

      Deedee, great point sha. Sometimes because our standards are so low, legit criticism of actors, OAPs, musicians, designers etc is seen as ‘hate.’

  • Deedee February 21, 2013 at 2:35 pm

    *don’t blame me when I would go*. Look at Anne Hathaway – she started out as the Princess of Genovia, in the princess diaries. Did anyone listen to her Golden Globes acceptance speech? It suddenly hit me, OMG she’s improoooooooooved her craft. When did she start again? In fact the professional history of the whole cast of that movie, the hsitory they made, shooting the movie, and the boundaries that were pushed, just made me realise, our “Madam, accept it like that na, shey he/she no try, your own too much jare, over sabi” attitude, is what has allowed an industry as big as Nollywood, to still be in the toilet. Call me a HATER if you like, but what kind of constructive criticism, do you want to offer Nollywood again ehn, someone tell me. I’m going to see Les Mis at the West End for the first time in a few weeks, and I don’t care if I’m going to travel two hours to see it. I’m unpatriotic and proud. Lol

    • ella b February 21, 2013 at 4:49 pm

      OMG….more??? you’ve got to be kidding!!! go away already!!!!……..

      • Bleed blue February 22, 2013 at 11:43 am

        LOL!!!

      • Oba February 22, 2013 at 1:26 pm

        One of the sweetest parts of BN, is reading comments people leave under other comments. Lol, I see now that you went to fix your CAPS lock button, good for you, or is it the meds. LMAO. The fact that you even had time to comment 3 times, lol. Some people have issues sha. Oya let me post my comment too, so that Ella will quickly take out time to respond. LOL…..

  • Motun February 21, 2013 at 2:47 pm

    BRILLIANT!

  • Keke February 21, 2013 at 2:54 pm

    Genevieve’s acting is average- CRITIC
    Genevieve is ugly- HATER

    Omotola would look better in less revealing clothes- CRITICS
    Omotola doesn’t know she’s a mother abi? All these tight dresses sef- HATER

    Miss XYZ’s show needs a little bit of work- CRITIC
    Miss XYZ is not fine. Her show is crap and she’s an unmarried mother- HATER

    • kemi February 21, 2013 at 3:17 pm

      i don’t agree. all ur hater tags are actually not correct. sure, those comments could be voiced by a hater, but a critic could also say the same thing. everyone’s standard of beauty and morals is different, hence different critics with different levels of criticisms.

      • Hmm February 21, 2013 at 6:54 pm

        Errr, morals?

      • Babe February 21, 2013 at 8:50 pm

        Kemi if u don’t agree with leek then u don’t know what ur saying…….how u say what u say defines if ur really a hater or not……another thing is some ple just don’t know how to talk….uncouth, manner less and no etiquette or finesse……..

    • Bukki February 21, 2013 at 10:26 pm

      Goodluck to you. You know how haters are known? Their critique is usually senseless and shallow.
      Kelechi’s you are so on point!

  • Adeori February 21, 2013 at 3:00 pm

    Jesus was critized, laughed at, abused ,called out of his name ,disrespected and what not -in every way possible- So who are we as humans to expect any different or better from our fellow human…Personally I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion,now its up to you to let it either make or break you..thats where your Filter comes in.Life is not a bed of roses especially if you are a known(public) figure.

    How many voltrons do you wanna hire to defend you, Its gatta be tiring
    9ice said it better —> let them say (type) ,elenu lo le nu….
    Beyonce added her 2cents too, read the article about yourself and dont scroll down to the comments..
    Some people just hate their own life soo much that no matter what,they will have something negative to say.Its a personal battle and nothing to do with whoever they are talking about.
    And some just dont know how to talk so what could/should have been constructive criticism comes out as hate.Those are the ones we call “elenu oshi” (foolish mouth)

    Live and let live.People would hate till kingdom come,its inevitable.
    Truthfully,their comment doesnt affect your/mine pocket…
    LIFE GOES ON!

    P.S—> Hate aside, some of these people (celebrities) be doing the mostttttt tho

    • Non professional opinion February 21, 2013 at 4:13 pm

      You are likely to classify this as “hate” but your comment is typical of what I find tedious on this site. 20 lines deep and I have no idea where you stand on this issue. People are so scared of being labeled hater that they try to stand on both sides of the fence, usually with the use of p.s. and but

      Example: OMG this collection is so tacky and the finishing is rough, my local tailor could do better but kudos to her, she is really trying sha!

  • Hadija February 21, 2013 at 3:05 pm

    @keke exactly! That is what I get from this piece, that there are extremes and it is those extremes that are “hate” not when someone doesn’t appreciate your talent. In a country of 170m people, we all cannot appreciate shat u do.

  • Tae February 21, 2013 at 3:07 pm

    My dear, you are a hater! What exactly did you wish to achieve by calling someone ugly? How is that criticism? Since she didn’t create herself are you criticising God? Can you imagine how the person would feel reading that? Abeg you are just a hateful person!

  • Dee February 21, 2013 at 3:37 pm

    What morals? What type of morals qualifies you to be spiteful calling someone ugly and and insulting her for being unmarried or whatever? Nigerians carry religion on their heads yet they can’t demonstrate the most basic law of most religions. Love your neighbour as your self! Learn to correct one another in love.

  • esteelauder February 21, 2013 at 4:00 pm

    @Tae, i concur. why would you insult someone’s body shape or face or anything they didn’t create by themselves and call that constructive criticism. Criticise people’s actions i.e what they have control over but not things they av absolutely no control over.

  • Braze February 21, 2013 at 4:01 pm

    I agree with some of the writer’s points, but it is very easy to label even the writer an hater(Wande’s details unnecessary) but I can see from the writer’s perspective and won’t label as such. So given the writer has also fallen into this trap, I think message manner potrayal is key! I think this whole idea of hating started with the blogging frenzy that hit the nigerian media space and things have spiraled out of control since. A visit to that alternative well known bloggers site (won’t mention names but I’m sure you know the one i’m talking about) makes me sad. We have gotten to the point where abusing a celebrity either makes the abuser trend or takes the abuser to the front page of a blog while adding spice to the arguement drives traffic for the blogger. All bloggers need to understand blogging comes with huge responsibility which is to manage and preserve the credibility of opinions on their sites – but when bloggers posts erroneous comments and want traffic, how can they even manage comments? This is where moderating comments come in. All bloggers or web content owners should sensibly moderate comments. This can be difficult tho as some site owners themselves need moderating. For comments made on twitter, well I would say just leave people to display their ignorance to the world. I am not one to put people down, but if a popular figure has 250k followers and you with less than a third of those followers insult the person it tells the world what small world you live in and it shows the celeb is doing something right and you’re not. What we have today are keyboard warriors who cannot think outside their little box and I hope we don’t get to a point where celebrities turn on fans or we alienate/drive them from all forms of social media interaction with hate.

  • Kij February 21, 2013 at 4:12 pm

    God bless you.

  • Deedee February 21, 2013 at 4:22 pm

    BN, please post this, lets discuss this from the Nigerian perspective. I’ll love to get the thoughts of your readers on this.
    dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2281959/Apprentice-star-Katie-Hopkins-admits-I-wont-let-children-play-friends-I-deem-beneath-them.html?ITO=1490&ns_mchannel=rss&ns_campaign=1490

  • natty February 21, 2013 at 5:15 pm

    Calling mercy Johnson dirty is hate, i swear I don’t understand why people say she looks dirty, she is dark skinned and last time I checked there was nothing absolutely wrong in being dark skinned.

  • Knut February 21, 2013 at 5:32 pm

    I don’t get this write up….. Why make specific reference to hate comments that people have made in the past? It’s as though you are ‘using style’ to express your own hate for all these people and hiding behind your article which I really couldn’t wrap my head around. You could have passed your message across (whatever it was) without specific and long forgotten references. I found this post quite untasteful.

    • Knut February 21, 2013 at 5:41 pm

      So was my post criticism or hate?…. I’m confused now :-p

  • Opsy February 21, 2013 at 5:33 pm

    Now that we have also taken a course in differentiating between Hating, Constructive and Destructive Criticism, I hope our comments will be balanced. You don’t go calling someone ugly,old cargo cos she is still single at 37 or she is a single mother or a divorcee. I take it upon myself not to abuse someone with something beyong his/ control like looks, height,size of head, marital status etc but you can point out areas where someone need improvement like his or her act, fake accents, lewd dresssing. Always put yourself in that persons position before you say those hurful words. Like someone saying Mercy Johnson is fat. She just delivered a baby less than two months ago. She is a lactating mother. Her baby should be her primary concern while the baby weight will drop off gradually. It took her 9 months to pack that baby weight and people shouldn’t expect her to lose it overnight.

  • sayit February 21, 2013 at 6:05 pm

    Very funny unless you are not living on earth, you must be crticized if you put urself out there….hell even Queen Elizabeth has haters…lol….people are going to be mean so its left for the perso putting themselves out there to constantly think positively…..

    also even if you were a good critic, some fanatics/voltrons would call yu a hater or the popular saying ‘she/he is making money your hating’……refer to the kimk post

  • Trina!!! February 21, 2013 at 6:07 pm

    Jane is not here yet…She’s one HATER i know

  • Winny February 21, 2013 at 9:05 pm

    @Nene, anything or anyone that GOD created is not ugly hence you are offending GOD when you refer to his creation as ugly. FACT.

  • sade February 21, 2013 at 11:27 pm

    “But it is true – Halima Abubakar’s sense of style is horrid, today’s brand of music is becoming exceedingly trite, and some OAPs should drop their screeching tone and bad accent! It is not hate, it is a truth.” …… Frankly i find dis piece amusing esp dat part cos its d same bella naija dat’ll be hyping all dis pple….

  • MaryDtn9 February 24, 2013 at 9:44 pm

    So much hate. So much anger! Haters publish hateful comments towards many remarkable and successful individuals. Psychologists have determined that haters, also known as bullies, start by abusing their own families, spouses, children, siblings, friends, and pets. Haters are also, most often, child abusers and always cowards when confronted “one on one”. Organized haters exercise their cruelty towards their chosen targets using Social Media Mob Mentality. These media mobs are void of empathy and their sole objective is to capture maximum audience attention by publishing unfounded hateful Social Media BS comments about innocent individuals for financial gain. Are you a hater?
    Don’t be a hater. Take back control of your emotions and always question Social Media hateful BS. No one is perfect. We all have flaws. Choose to be positive. A positive approach will serve you well in your personal and family lives. It’s a personal choice. It’s your choice. You can help end the hate today; help end the anger.
    disnetinc.com/

  • sj February 25, 2013 at 9:23 am

    well said! its funny how BN never puts up my constructive criticism!!!!

  • Nollywood REinvented March 4, 2013 at 10:49 pm

    Well isn’t it funny how emotional everyone gets on the subject of criticism and hate. In my opinion, I agree with the person who said if the work is put out there for public consumption then he who is on the distributing side must be willing to receive criticism. But if the person in question is not distributing his work for public consumption (i.e. he isn’t a artist asking you to enjoy his works) then it’s none of your business.

    True! Regardless, humans are humans and we’ll always have opinions that we will air. Difference is some air it to your face and others behind your back

  • MaryDtn9 March 7, 2013 at 5:20 pm

    So Much Hate! So Much Anger! BS Sells! Over 99% of what we read is BS. The Media, that’s you, are failing your social responsibility of never supporting Organized Mob Hate BS comments about third parties to gain exposure and profit. E.G.: Riding the BIEBER bandwagon because BIEBER sells.
    Hate Kills. Hate is Ugly. Are you a hater? You can change. Don’t be a hater. Don’t Kill. Take back control of your emotions and always question what you read. No one is perfect. We all have flaws. Choose to be positive. It’s a personal choice. It’s your choice. A positive approach will serve you well in your personal and family lives. Get honest. Help others who could use support. Share these vibes. SUP 1 702 421 3511 disnetinc.com/marydtn9.htm

  • Warne June 27, 2013 at 5:32 pm

    I would like to say something, I am appalled at our world, I voted for a president whom I thought would make our world a better place to live, and he is a family man with two daughters. Instead he gives faggots and lezzies the right to get married. He does not stand up for the union of marriage between a man and a woman one man one woman. He has made our wold worse. He has polluted our world by giving this filth and vermin marriage rights. This filth and vermin must be wiped out completely. We must take back our Earth and return it to where it belongs. Where the Union of marriage is between a man and a woman. Not to faggots and lessees. We must get rid of this filth and vermin. all they do is hump each others asses. Thats perverted we must get rid them NOW.
    This filth and vermin started the aids epidemic it started with this filth and vermin. We have to eliminate them Destroy this filth and vermin, GAS this filth and Vermin. Make our Earth clean again. Get Rid of this Filth and Vermin NOW. Get Rid Of It. Stomp it out. Stand up for our planet get rid of this filth and vermin NOW.

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