Why Are You A Woman Anyway?

Last Sunday, the priest in my home church announced that a church member had put to birth. Before he could complete his statement, some church members finished for him “Boy! Boy!” After which the priest got angry and announced that he would no longer mention the sex of newly born babies if people could not respect all sexes. Sitting in my corner towards the back of the church, I was pleased with the announcement, still trying to recover from my annoyance at the church members; most of whom were women.

What happened at church last Sunday got me thinking about our attitude towards the female child especially in this part of the world. In the ‘other’ part people hardly care; Obama has two daughters, Bill Gates has a daughter. In fact, most of the great men of our time are blessed with only daughters. They are not beating themselves over it. In fact, you feel a twinge of envy when these great men walk down red carpets with their daughters on their arms.

In many homes in Nigeria, if you do not give your husband sons, they will say your womb is probably made of cotton wool.

Coming close to home, my parents have five children – four of whom are girls. Before the birth of their last child and only son, my mom told me that her mother-in-law called her one day and mentioned casually that one of us would have to remain in the family and bear children for my father’s lineage. Being the woman my mum is, she rejected it and swore it would never happen even if she had to fight for it. My father was not complaining. In fact, he seemed too busy showing off his little girls, who almost always topped their classes, to the world.  A few years later, my parents had a son. This time, my overjoyed grandma chipped in a name for her grandson. She wanted him called “Iheanacho”. My mum, once again, rejected it. No one had been searching for a boy. He just happened to come along.

My family is the average Nigerian family, and while my father was patient and quite content with his blessings, many have not been as patient, going through hell and back in the quest to get a son.

To what end, I ask?
Perhaps, the underlying reason our men have not come to appreciate the beauty of a girl child is that their wives and mothers have not seen themselves as pillars of the society themselves; therefore, they find it difficult to appreciate others. A woman who has never owned a diamond in her life cannot appreciate the true beauty of a diamond until she discovers how much it is worth. The same way, a woman who has not been treated as a queen for just being who she is cannot appreciate a girl child until the child grows to be the leader of the society. When I mean leadership, I don’t just mean in politics or house-keeping or even her career; I mean in discovering her potential and harnessing herself to make a difference in the world around her, no matter how little that world is.

For a woman to discover her amazing capabilities, it would be difficult to have such myopic mentality that subjugate rather than glorify her gender. She would know to surround herself with people who appreciate her as a human being first, then as an amazing woman who has been blessed with strong shoulders.

In case you haven’t noticed the shoulders of women are built strong. Those shoulders are not just meant to rock children to sleep; they are designed to bear the weight of the world. As a woman, you are so much more capable of what you can imagine. You can handle children, family-in-law, relationships, marriage, career, volunteering, hobbies, etc and still appear beautiful anytime. If only you know the weight those shoulders can bear and the difference you can make in the world, men would want to have little yous running around the living room. I know many men who would wish they had women like Michelle Obama in their lives. Can the people around you say the same?

Finally, for all whose argument is that sons are better than daughters because men keep a lineage alive, let me ask you very simple questions:

What is your father’s name?
What is your grandfather’s name?
Now, what is your great grandfather’s name?

I’m sure you don’t know the answer to that. You may even have a great-grand something who comes from Jerusalem or Czech Republic and you wouldn’t even know. Who cares anyway? People marry and inter-marry; generations come and go; tribes mingle and disintegrate.

But here’s what doesn’t change – that you know who you are and you know what you are capable of.

Happy living!

Photo Credit: occforeclosure.net
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Ifesinachi Okoli-Okpagu is a writer and marketing consultant. She is also the editor of www.fabulous-city.com, an online brand expression to motivate women to be the best they can be. You can follow her on Twitter: @ifesinachio_o or send her a mail on ifesinachi.okpagu@yahoo.co.uk Visit her website: www.meetifesinachi.com

79 Comments on Why Are You A Woman Anyway?
  • uche March 21, 2013 at 10:06 am

    FIRST!!!! *grabs popcorn* I’d like to sit back and hear what the MALES especially have to say about this!!!

  • Dee Mist March 21, 2013 at 10:08 am

    true words.

  • Vanessa March 21, 2013 at 10:13 am

    Beautiful and well-written. Men should appreciate the girl-children and the women they turn into. Moreover, research has shown that women take care of their parents more than the men do.

    • Sonia March 21, 2013 at 11:31 am

      Sometimes people don’t grasp the full view of a subject. What do you mean “men”? Didn’t you hear that it was mostly women who kept saying “Boy! boy!”? Didn’t the author say it was the MOTHER-IN-LAW who was bugging for a male child??? Aha!

      Women need to appreciate themselves and act worthy of all things good and TRUST me, men will follow suit!

      • Oge A March 23, 2013 at 7:40 pm

        You are very correct Sonia.. I think the problem starts from here, we women and our misguided ideas and perceptions imposed on us by society. A child, male or female, is still a child, and no less a blessing from God because of its gender. We should learn to apprecaite ourselves and what we carry within us, so that others (men to be precise) will follow in those steps. God bless us women, and keep giving us strength and grace. Amen

  • chacha March 21, 2013 at 10:19 am

    Great read….I love it!

  • eggyposh March 21, 2013 at 10:24 am

    Love!

  • Shadylaj March 21, 2013 at 10:36 am

    Lovely write up. Let us all learn to appreciate the women around us. They are indeed blessings to the world.

  • Correction March 21, 2013 at 10:39 am

    My dad even prefers girls, true story. He says we are easier to raise, and we always look back. My dad has this saying. You raise a boy for his in-laws, a girl is a child for life. I am from a fmaily of 5 too. The first is a boy, and the last is a boy. Two guesses which sex my father is closer to? Lol. My mum envies our relationship, so of course, she attached herself strongly to the two boys. Our brothers beef us like crazy. A good kind of beef though. Lol. The favouritism for us girls was just too evident, and the three of us girls have turned out to be beautiful, strong, confident women. There’s something to be said about a woman who grows up loved and cherished by her father, and also protected by her brothers. You demand just as good or even better from the men in your life. You weren’t starved of love and attention, so you won’t go out craving it from any man. You are assured of yourself and your abilities as a woman, and in a way this commands respect, even from men, and you get treated well. My sisters and I count ourselves very very lucky. I’ve never had to ask for money from any man, because I always had my needs met from daddy (he is not even some millionaire o), and from my salary when I started working. Lord knows I unashamedly go back to him, rather than ask my boyfriend for money. My ex’s always thought me proud, I don’t make them feel needed like men. They want to just take over and take care of you and spend money on you, when that’s what we women have reduced ourselves to. I don’t blame them. Watch my dad in tears when my elder sister was getting married. He warned my bro in-law at the trad in front of everyone to take care of his baby o, or he’ll have him and her brothers to answer to. He must have lsitened, cos he treats my sister like an egg. So, mothers, and especially fathers, raise your daughters to be strong and confident. It all starts from the home.

    • Hmmmm! you raise a boy for his in-laws, a girl is a child for life.

    • Cee March 21, 2013 at 2:43 pm

      Your words are sooooooo true… what a great father. Much regard to all fathers that love and respect their girl children, mine inclusive. Salut”

    • Cee March 21, 2013 at 2:58 pm

      The truth about one knowing who she is, is an important one. When a woman knows who God made her to be and understands her place, she will always rise above the opinions, cultures and traditions that try to keep her down. Much regards to great men who strive at encouraging women to become who they should and who raise their girl children into confident women. Salut’

    • Hold up! March 21, 2013 at 8:34 pm

      @Correction, it’s as if your dad and mine read from the same book. My parents have just 3 daughters. I am the oldest. My dad is from the generation that placed emphasis on the male child. He must have gotten a lot of unsolicited advise on the importance of a son because he was always the first to say that each child is a blessing but count your self even more blessed if you have a daughter. He strongly believes that daughters ensure the well being of their parents even when they are married and are keeping their own homes. When I take a look at my cousins and their parents I find that the daughters are always checking on my Aunts and Uncles. Their sons don’t check in as often.

      No child is less important than the other. I hope that we can learn from the mistakes of our parents’ generation and resolve to do better. I would love to see more Nigerian men appreciate and respect their female counterpart. There is way too much abuse (emotional, verbal and physical) going on. I would love to see Nigerian women/females know their true worth and not settle for less or place their worth on material things. The younger generation needs better role models than the current crop of celebrities (both Western and Nigerian) that are being toted in the media.

  • LILLY March 21, 2013 at 10:49 am

    wonderful wonderful wonderful. tanx for this article. i come from a family where we have 4 girls and a boy. my Dad adore his girls to a fault & pampers us too much. all his kids are equal.

  • Stella Kashmoney March 21, 2013 at 10:52 am

    Lovely article. Well done.

  • Debby March 21, 2013 at 11:03 am

    Very nice article

  • www.anemistyle.com March 21, 2013 at 11:12 am

    Pretty cool article and a great time to be a WOMAN in the world. #GirlsRule

    • Mz Socially Awkward... March 21, 2013 at 5:43 pm

      I agree with you. It really is a great time to be a woman in the world today. However, we need to remember that we can now say that in Nigeria because of those women who ran this race long before us and fought a difficult battle in getting our traditional society to recognize women as having their own unique identity and place within it (although, I can’t say we’re fully there yet … but we’re definitely farther along than we used to be). I acknowledge:-

      Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti
      Buchi Emecheta
      Flora Nwapa
      Major General Ronke Kale
      Dr. Grace Alele Williams
      Molara Ogundipe
      My own mother the renowed “Prof”

      And every female hero (I’ve purposely not used the feminine version of that word) related or known to us, who served as living examples to the next generation of Nigerian girls that society’s disdain of our sex should never hold us back from doing great things.

    • olanrewaju March 25, 2013 at 7:24 am

      I appreciate and love all the women and men in my life. I wouldn’t say Girls rule though. Where would that leave the boys? Let’s not put one gender down while lifting up the other. There is enough room for us all at the top.

  • naijapose.com March 21, 2013 at 11:12 am

    Article on point. As always on Bella Naija

  • chino March 21, 2013 at 11:28 am

    am inspired….lovee ds

  • stormygee March 21, 2013 at 11:29 am

    Lovely article. I agree completely with women capable of doing so many things at the same time. Afterall, according to beyonce ” who run the world- girls.

  • Nsirim March 21, 2013 at 11:34 am

    Nice piece!I thought u should have proffered solution(s) that will help to abrogate this hydra-headed monster(Gender discrimination),especially peoples whose believes and cultures had upheld this over the years.Are you married?

  • Tessymila March 21, 2013 at 11:39 am

    Nice article. I love being a woman.

  • x factor March 21, 2013 at 12:00 pm

    Wooww!

  • Anne March 21, 2013 at 12:05 pm

    Nice piece! Having my first child in a couple of months and its a girl!!!! :). So over the moon. I think she’s really gonna be pretty with great wisdom. The sex of a child should never matter and I’m happy it doesn’t in my family. In India, i hear it’s worse. Folks aborting their babies and all. May God forgive them. Nothing like being a woman! Can’t wait to hold my Princess with his Dad’s curly beautiful hair!!

  • shya rhodes March 21, 2013 at 12:05 pm

    sincerely i respect n love women but am getting tired of dem blaming guz for every ting, maybe wen women learn how to admit there responbility n stop depending on guz so much we an come back n discus dis, but am nt actually sayin all guz r responble n dependable

  • shya rhodes March 21, 2013 at 12:06 pm

    lol responsible

  • Berry Dakara March 21, 2013 at 12:16 pm

    Good job! In my dad’s tribe, it’s the same scenario – if there are only female children, the oldest is supposed to stay in her father’s house and continue his lineage through her children (whether she marries their father or not). Happened to his mother, so we bear HER name.

    That was very tacky and rude of the church members! A child is a blessing. God didn’t say only boys are a blessing. *rolls eyes*

  • Dee March 21, 2013 at 12:37 pm

    Very nice article and you are right that most of the people guilty for putting pressure on women about having boys are fellow women! It is true that such women simply do not value themselves highly enough hopefully the more educated and enlightened our society gets the less we’ll see or hear of such ignorance.

  • Peachy_mo March 21, 2013 at 12:38 pm

    I am quite impressed with his write-up as it sheds light on the little things we take for granted: love, God;s gift (irrespective of its gender). I personally wish for a twin-girl as my first but will proudly love & guide whichever God gives me!

  • anniesexy Mbz March 21, 2013 at 12:49 pm

    hmmn! excellent write up, u hav said it all, the rest is up to us as a girl child

  • wish the Lynxx hype will rest! March 21, 2013 at 12:53 pm

    Just yesterday one pastor in my area was testifying how he did a miraculous healing about a woman who already had 3 girls and she is in dire need of a baby boy…She got pregnant again,and did a scan,which turn out to be a girl again! She then ran to the pastor,that she was actually prayer for a boy,and she said she believe the pastor can work a miracle for her,according to what the pastor say,after much prayer,the woman later gave birth to a boy…the church members went wild with joy!

    • kilipot March 21, 2013 at 8:52 pm

      Iranu. I pray for the day when the scales covering our eyes will fall off.

    • IfeD March 22, 2013 at 8:21 am

      Load of crap!! The sonographer got the scan wrong the 1st time, subsequent scans then showed it was a boy…Sexes are determined from conception can not be changed midway. I’m from a family of 3- 2girls and 1 boy and my dad loved us equally…..Couples need to agree on this be4 marriage, I wanted 2 kids, hubby 3, so we agreed if we had 2 of the same sex we’ll adopt the 3rd of the other sex to have a balance (Why keep trying when it could turn out to the the same sex?) After having 1 child and miscarrying another, one can almost curse any woman who comes and blabs crap of try again for a particular sex…..You can never please everyone so enjoy yourself!

  • anita obidi March 21, 2013 at 1:01 pm

    Love and appreciate yourself

  • sadiq olorunoje March 21, 2013 at 1:15 pm

    lets seperate the “chaff from the wheat” it”s a world of different peolple with different minds, different ideology , different strong believe and opinion but all in all, i think it is a problem of the mind to say that a male child is superior to a female child and in as much as both are gift from god so they should be treated and loved well in every ramification.

  • honey irepmisfit March 21, 2013 at 1:17 pm

    lovely

  • fatyyyylurv March 21, 2013 at 1:24 pm

    This reminds me of the joy of motherhood. Every woman faces a lot of pains that can’t be seen physically. It starts frm birth, how u are made to help ur mum in evry house chore and u still go to school. We still remain strong. We fight all sort of harassment along side d. Stages of body development. We still have to care for our elder brothers by them beggin us to sweep their rooms and bring their foods and wash their plates. We go through the heart breaks and any other tin dat comes with relationship yet we put on our make up and smile to the world. We carry our problems with us all to ourselves. Then we get married. We are advised as if we are the main problem of broken homes. We get in and eda find happiness or disaster…we go tru all dose…child birth comes all the way. We push and push…some die, some survive and some get struck..and some people will come to ask for the sex of the baby, if its a gal they hiss, a boy,they celebrate, God is watching .we continue to handle the home. Takia of the husband and the child that talks in their language we understand…we bear the pains and everything that comes with family, career and existence. We cry secretly. Sometimes we lie to ourselves we are strong and den we break down. We nurture the child and make sure he/she turns out to be the best in morals and others because the bad morals are gotten from the mother while the good gotten from the father. God! Please bless every woman, continue to make us strong and as every woman is reading this, make her strong and give her joy and hapiness in every aspect of her life because she deserves it. I wish my grandmother can see this because as I clock 18, I will be that strong woman she has always byn and train my children in such a way that gender will never be an issue. Now I know why a lot of men wuld rada be a man in their next life. They can’t stand the discrimination, hardship and they don’t have a strong heart. Fact!

    • Joy March 21, 2013 at 9:40 pm

      Fatty dis brought tears to my eyes!we are strong indeed God bless Us

  • Opsy March 21, 2013 at 1:24 pm

    If only you know the mystery of conception and the anxiety of waiting for the baby to be born and you finally get a “take home baby”, you’ll appreciate children irrespective of the sex. Most women are in competition with other women. They think having a particular sex makes them superior to others.

  • Queen of Everything March 21, 2013 at 2:22 pm

    Someone also needs to educate all these grandmothers and mother-in-laws that to have a boy, it is the man that has to submit the necessary chromosome, they need to stop harassing women. kmt

    So many things I could say on being a woman but I wouldn’t know where to begin.

  • oma March 21, 2013 at 2:27 pm

    Omg I thought someone was writing about me! This is just my life. My dad raised two independent ladies- me and my sis with pride. He always said education is the greatest weapon you can give a girl-child. No truer words hv been said.
    I think a girl knowing her self worth comes from having parents who constantly show her that her life is worth more. Watch that girl flourish. That’s why parents, especially mothers have to be examples to their little princesses. That way, the cycle never breaks..

  • Cee March 21, 2013 at 2:59 pm

    The truth about one knowing who she is, is an important one. When a woman knows who God made her to be and understands her place, she will always rise above the opinions, cultures and traditions that try to keep her down. Much regards to great men who strive at encouraging women to become who they should and who raise their girl children into confident women. Salut’

  • Ajoke March 21, 2013 at 3:00 pm

    From what I understand, gender selection is primarily dictated by which sperm makes it to the egg first, since only men can provide the “Y” chromosome needed to make a boy, if a couple cannot have a male child it’s quite possible it’s not the woman’s fault.

    Also, since most of us don’t understand the science of conception, our conclusions are based on cultural beliefs and perceptions which lead us to make ignorant assumptions about 1)whose fault it is when a male child cannot be produced and 2)the value of female children.

    As more women obtain an education and contribute more to society than bearing and raising children, I think the perceived value of women is changing in a positive direction.

    For the women in the church shouting “baby boy”, their behaviour is probably influenced by traditional beliefs about the value of a woman based on the sex of the children she produces.

    Anyways, it was commendable on the part of the pastor for condemning that sort of behaviour in church and I also agree that a lot of men seem to have a special love for their female children.

    Altogether, nice article, thank you for shining some light on this and thanks BN for posting :)

  • pynk March 21, 2013 at 3:40 pm

    So what about women who are unable to bear children? Those ones nko?

    • xoxo March 22, 2013 at 12:02 am

      What about them? What are you trying to stir up? Na wa oh

  • aunty March 21, 2013 at 4:25 pm

    amen!

  • Ifesinachi Okoli-Okpagu March 21, 2013 at 4:32 pm

    Thanks for your very inspiring comments.
    Many people display this way of thinking mainly because of the way we were brought up. But we owe ourselves the duty to appreciate others irrespective of gender.

  • Nutella March 21, 2013 at 5:14 pm

    …and when people around me start hyping male children over female ones, I never ever fail to ask if male children stay in the womb longer than nine months while female children stay in there for just nine months. This will be a very hard nut to crack because even the supposedly literate, well exposed and religious ones amongst us are still very rooted in cultural beliefs, either actively or passively.

  • tellingthetruth March 21, 2013 at 8:49 pm

    Great article!

  • N March 21, 2013 at 9:52 pm

    Nice article, Ifesinachi.
    Correction though, Bill Gates has 3 children (of both sexes)… Bill and Hillary CLINTON have a daughter…

    • Ifesinachi Okoli-Okpagu March 22, 2013 at 8:46 am

      Thanks for pointing that mistake out. I acknowledge the error.

  • m.h March 21, 2013 at 11:09 pm

    Good article but don’t compare us to oyinbo people mehn..as much as i want a son and a daughter, i need a son am already dreaming of having a son self and am not discriminating or anything but i want a son..and d author’s question i know the name of my great great grandfather..

    • Ifesinachi Okoli-Okpagu March 22, 2013 at 8:47 am

      Having male children is great, don’t get me wrong. It’s the perceived mentality in this part of the world I am addressing in this article. Thanks for your comment.

    • bobo March 22, 2013 at 12:18 pm

      m.h, just shut up….you should be compared to oyibo people because they do not bother themselves with irrelevant and so called stupid traditions that seem to only enslave women……the article is not saying no body should desire a particular sex but y should desire a male child cos you think they are better than the girl child? from your comment saying you “need” a son you just sound like its for this same reason we are talking about…..what do you need a son for? so if your wife or girlfriend gives you a daughter then another, then another you will keep having till you get the son you need? all children are from God and no one should be more valued than the other….

  • Adewale March 21, 2013 at 11:26 pm

    Women will let women fail, it is rare to see women agree successfully to do anything

    • Bleed blue March 22, 2013 at 1:42 pm

      Err…how does your comment lend any relevance to the topic at hand? Na wa for you oh

  • just saying March 21, 2013 at 11:35 pm

    firstly, I am a woman and loving every minute of it. Secondly,if you have ever had to go on your knees 4 10 years asking 4 a child. you will learn to appreciate any child male or female. Finally, loving the awareness BN is creating on these issues.

  • Iamme March 22, 2013 at 12:11 am

    Ifesinachi, God bless you for this article!

  • Nifemi March 22, 2013 at 2:14 pm

    Nice piece!

  • Candy March 22, 2013 at 3:13 pm

    Lovely article, I have tears in my eyes as I type now, I am a young mother of two daughters 3 and 1 year old respectively… I prayed for a male child because I wanted to experience a lil man after my first daughter but God gave me another girl. I did a surprise birth and never checked the gender throughout my conception….the labour was the stress less and sweet one, I keptblessing my womb even before she came out..lo and behold, I heard her cry as she was pushed out, I saw her, another girl, another sister I never had especially after growing up with four brothers….hmmmm…with this girls we hhave heard all sorts, with some going as far as saying we are yet to ‘have a child’ due to the absence of a boy…what’s even more saddening is the fact that most of these thoughtless statements come from our fellow women.. I have always wanted a large family, so mother hood continues for me and like I say, my life is in Gods hands, he alone shares..he will bless us with only that which will bless us in return. But if the presence of a male child will cause us pain and torments, let him take it away..Really some people have had it easy with child bearing..if u have had to pray day and night, visit all the fertility clinics in the world, take countless injection and drugs; the sex of a child will not matter to you when eventually u get pregnant..may God help us and bless us with understanding and loving men who understand the part they play in the conception process..

  • Anonymous March 22, 2013 at 3:24 pm

    I actually know the names of my father, my grandfather, my great grandfather and my great great grandfather. I think it is good to know your lineage, I think that is a very imporant
    factor in knowing who you are and understanding where you come from (I don’t just mean biological lineage either).

  • Shadylaj March 22, 2013 at 4:38 pm

    @ Candy, i agree with you. We seem to question God because we have have at least a child. If you do not have any, and eventually get pregnant, the sex of the baby will be the least of your worries. Let us learn to appreciate our child(ren), male or female cos God made them male and female…..

  • Ifesinachi Okoli-Okpagu March 22, 2013 at 8:00 pm

    Candy, you are right. We choose because we are blessed with children. We pray God bless those in need of children because it’s a tough journey praying year after year for a child. Thanks for your comment and more strength to you.

  • HABBA March 23, 2013 at 2:55 am

    i think it is mostly mother in laws that put gragra when it comes to “sons” my mom had 4 girls and the only person that complained where my dads sister and his mother. my dad always said boys will leave you but girl end up taking care of their parents. so this is actually a womans issue.

  • zsa zsa March 23, 2013 at 6:38 am

    When it comes to this gender preference issue my husband always asks if a male child can resurrect a dead person or if the male child comes with scholarship. Lol.

    Where does one begin with the gender preference issue? women are the biggest offenders because the whole disaster starts from the home. We raise our daughters to be domesticated while the boys go play soccer. My husband always talks about how he would be having a great time playing with his immediate older sister when they were kids and suddenly his mum would call his sister to the kitchen to help with the cooking. He said his sister might get her ear pulled for not coming to the kitchen sooner while he got a piece of meat to snack on…all courtesy of mama. He said it used to hurt him so much cos he was very close to his sis, he never understood why his sister had to go do all these chores while he was able to play his head off. Today my husband keeps pushing her to try new things, to aim high but she is always reluctant and her response is always”you wont understand, i am a woman so i can’t do that….” it drives my husband crazy.

    There are 5 of us..all girls. My mum wanted a boy so so bad. During her last pregnancy she fasted and prayed for a male child…this lunatic pastor told her to pick a name for the child, told her he has “seen” it that she will have a son. She never did a sonogram to find out the gender, she told me she was 100% sure it would be a boy. “what if it’s a girl?” i asked…she never gave me a straight answer. Couple of months later my beautiful little sister was born and yes my mum was disappointed but wouldn’t admit it. Less than 2 yrs later my mom died. I vowed never to choose one gender over another. Children are beautiful gifts…i almost feel it is unappreciative/rude to ask for a gender when you can’t even make a human being yourself.

    We need to start raising stronger, more confident women from home, our little girls should feel equal to their male counterparts.

    Great article….i can’t shout, gd nite! Pardon any typos :)

  • Tolu March 23, 2013 at 4:27 pm

    My mum had 2gals n afta 15yrs had anoda gal.maybe fortunatly 4 my dad he had a son out of wedlock.Am grateful 4 wat we d gals av becm.If u wnt 2 d value of a child irrespective of d sex,askin a woman who is looking up 2 God afta so many years.My neighbour jus had a daughter afta 24yrs of marriage.I remember her sayn if only God culd jus giv her one evn if she child is deaf,dumb or blind.Those r pple dat knw d value of a child as d sex does nt matter.It pains me more dat d so called literate r nt left out-dey r deeply rooted in norms n culture.Be grateful evn if u had a child,sm dnt av at all.

  • HU March 24, 2013 at 9:53 am

    I just had my first child, a girl, and I thank God, because for 2 generations, my hubby’s fam has not had any girls, so everyone is thrilled, the princess is here. The miracle of childbirth is hard to put in words, many ppl take for granted having a healthy baby.
    I talk to my folks every day, my hubby talks to his maybe 1x a week

    • olanrewaju March 25, 2013 at 7:30 am

      I appreciate and love all the women and men in my life. I wouldn’t say Girls rule though. Where would that leave the boys? Let’s not put one gender down while lifting up the other. There is enough room for us all at the top.

    • olanrewaju March 25, 2013 at 7:35 am

      I was enjoying your response until you stated that you called your folks everyday, and your hubby only calls his once a week. Seriously, what is the relevance of that statement? Are you trying to say that you’re better than him because you call your parents more often? All over the world, it is known that women talk more than men. Neither is better than the other, just different. Men talk when they have something to say; women talk just to feel close. Why can’t we appreciate our differences?

  • cindy March 24, 2013 at 1:44 pm

    I appreciate God for creatin me a woman……nice article

  • I.A March 24, 2013 at 5:02 pm

    Great article Ifesinachi. As a mother of 3 children – 1 girl and 2 boys – I can confidently say that the process of conception is a miracle, the nine months of pregnancy is a miracle, the birth itself is a miracle and bringing up good, confident, fruitful children (who will look after you in your old age – as seems to be the concern of those who advocate for a male child over a female child) is also a miracle. I think that is what those who value boys over girls tend to forget. Perhaps they (their wives, in the case of men) have been fortunate to get pregnant as soon as they start trying, to carry their children for nine months with no problems and to go straight into hospital and straight back out with a healthy child after just 30 minutes (or less) of labor. If it didn’t quite happen that way maybe they would see a child as a “blessing” rather than a “right” and would appreciate and value each one equally, regardless of sex. I am grateful to God for making me a woman, for blessing me with a husband who didn’t care what the sex of each child was (he was present at each delivery and can testify of the miracle of childbirth!) and for the 3 wonderful children he has blessed us with.

  • omada March 25, 2013 at 1:34 am

    fantastic piece! we need to challenge this archaic stereotypes.

  • Dubem Michael March 26, 2013 at 12:04 am

    This is nice article. Having both male and famale children should be a very wonderful experience for every couple, but God is the that gives, which ever one He gives, one should be contented.

  • NE LEO P March 28, 2013 at 10:15 pm

    AM ONE AMONG THOSE WHO CAMPAIGN FOR WOMEN RIGHT. BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT BAGFULS ME? “KEEP 20 WOMEN IN A COMPOUND, LOCK THE GATE. TELL THEM TO STAY IN UNTIL YOU HAVE KILLED THE LION OUTSIDE THE COMPOUND SO THAT ALL OF THEM WILL BE SAFE TO WALK ABOUT THEIR FREEDOM. COME BACK FROM THE FIGHT WITH THE LION, ONLY TO DISCOVER THAT ONLY ONE WOMAN IS LEFT. ALL BECAUSE OF GREED, THE KILL EACH OTHER” THE TRUTH IS, LIFE IS THE PRODUCT OF OUR THOUGHTS. WOMEN IN THEIR ONTOLOGY HATE THEIR SELF. THE LATIN ADAGE SAY ” YOU CAN NOT GIVE WHAT YOU DON’T HAVE” IF WOMEN WANTS THE FEMALE BABY TO BE ACCEPTED, THEN THE MOST LEARN FIRST TO LOVE AND APPRECIATE THEIR SELF. IF YOU ARE A LADY, AND YOU ARE SO JEALOUS OR ENVY OF YOUR FELLOW LADY, THAT IS THE FOUNDATIONAL BEGINNING OF THE STEREOTYPE FOR THE UNBORN BABY GIRL. ACCEPT IT OR LIVE IT. OUR THOUGHTS CREATES OUR LIFE’S

  • NE LEO P March 28, 2013 at 10:20 pm

    I ALSO DISCOVERED LATELY THAT WOMEN HAVE LIFE MAGIC THAT MEN DNT HAVE. BUT THE ALL HAVE ONE PROBLEM: THE DNT KNOW HOW TO USE IT. THE COMPLAIN TOO MUCH AND THE LOVE TALKING. AND THE ATTRACT MORE SITUATION THAT WILL MAKE THEM TALK. THE SOUL OF EVERY FAMILY IS THE WOMAN. BUT TO SET THE LIFE MAGIC ROLLING, SHE HAS TO FIRST LOVE HERSELF AND HER FELLOW LADY.

  • deetz April 18, 2013 at 5:36 pm

    this was so beautiful, i love every moment of it. This was so deep shit and i really appreciate the time and effort put into this, gives you enough reasons to sit back and think. If i dont ever have a boy in this life i will still love my kids no matter what cause chooses who he wants to give and take away. Peace !

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