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Itunu Taiwo: Silly Things I Did As a Child

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Have you ever looked back at your childhood and wondered, “What was I thinking?!” Or ‘Really?! I did that…,unbelievable. or ‘Oh yeah, I was just being me.”

Well, here are a few things I still remember doing and some never get old.

Sneaking to lick Morgan Hair Cream: When my mates were licking toothpaste or ice-cream, I was busy licking weird things like hair cream. It just tasted sweet at the time but seriously, what was I thinking?

Now I know why children lick soap. 😀

Crying to get attention: Now this doesn’t get old. There was a time a friend even taught me how to put Robb beneath the eyes to induce tears. Just look around you. Kids even try to pull a fast one on us.

Being an imaginary superhero: I think I watched too many superman cartoon and movies that made me think I could somewa somehow fly and not get any part of my body broken.

On this fateful day, my brother and I had decided to jump from our upper double bunk in the room unto a large bed on the other side of the room. We however forgot to add the dynamics of the ceiling fan which could slice through our forehead if we were not careful. Trust the gurus like us. We had been doing it for a longtime. The day of reckoning finally arrived and the unfortunate one was our friend who had decided to follow our imaginary superhero status and jumped with us.

He got wounded obviously, and my brother a.k.a leader got whooped severely because his family brought him back to the house to report how the boy who was looking okay before got a slash on his forehead.

That was a lesson for all of us. I wonder what we were thinking. Kids ignore obstacles. They see everything differently. Trust me on this. No grown up in his right mind will pull that kind of stunt.

Waiting for the long hand on the clock to reach 12: Telling the time was hard for me and so was multiplication tables that extended to 9. I really did not understand the reason why there were 3 hands on the wall clock and why the long hand on 1,2 or 3 was being interpreted as 5, 10, 15. The mechanism seemed too complicated for me at the time.

The slaps I got from my mother is a memory never to be forgotten. Hot abaras that got my nose drooling and eyes swollen with tears. I cried ehn.

And she was a teacher. Teachers do not like their kids failing. It was like a taboo.

I had been told to go and check the time after she saw my homework and how I had done well in the clock assignments given to me. The next thing I knew…

“Go to the parlor and check the time for me.”

I trembled at the huge task.( It looked like one at the time)

Ah! Time ke. Oh God, please let it be an o’clock. Because the only time I understood was the o’clock. 1 o’clock, 2 o’clock and so on. What if the hand was on 4 or 5. What was going to happen to me.

That was how I kept standing there waiting for the long hand to get to 12 till I got caught red-handed. The beating I got while my mum drilled it into my ears was the kind of teaching I would never forget.

After I was instructed to get the clock from the wall, the teaching began.

“Oya, the figures on the wall clock represent 5,10, 15, 20,25,30. They stand for 1,2,3,4,5,6. Do you get it?”

If I didn’t get it, another *abara at the back. Till I got it right. Serious homeschooling naija style.

The same happened with Roman figures but she was nicer. Mathematics became a favorite subject in primary and secondary school till it got complex in the University when she had little or no say in my choice of course again.

Wrestle with the boys a.k.a my brothers: I think my growing up amongst boys had a lot to do with this because I don’t think I saw wrestling with boys as an issue till I started growing up and I was told to start acting like a girl. We watched wrestling a lot(anyone remember Bret Hitman Hart, Shawn Michaels, The Undertaker, Stone Cold aka Steve Austin, John Cena, Hulkhogan, British bulldog, Hunter and so many more.., it was so much fun) and we practically ignored the ‘Kids, do not try this at home’ instruction after each show.

I think it’s normal for kids to ignore instructions. Maybe there’s just a reset button in their brain somewhere that just ignores it completely. And then, the likes of Samurai X which made us spend more time with the TV came up, we grew up and before we knew it, the wrestling stopped.

Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

What silly things did you do as a child that got you whooped or makes you laugh and shake your head like, “Really? What on earth was I thinking?”

Do share and let’s laugh together.

*abara: A term in the yoruba dialect which could be interpreted as slap on the back or spanking.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Miroslav Ferkuniak

Itunu Taiwo is a pharmacist by profession and a God lover by heart. Her love also extends to story writing, books, music, movies and well fused teabags. Catch up with her at myglowingscenes.com where she writes on love and life. You can also connect with her on Twitter and Instagram @glowingscenes

27 Comments

  1. nira

    January 17, 2015 at 6:04 pm

    Ohh my, i can totally relate to all you wrote. I remember trying to re-enact any movie I watched as a child..if I watched the movie with my siblings and cousins, we would all choose the character we want and act, sometimes we would even quarrel over a particular character if more than one person is interested in playing that character..and if I watched the movie alone, i would stand in front of d mirror and act to my self, sometimes with the chairs…I also remember my cousin that was in the same age group with me then, she had two dolls, mickey mouse and minnie mouse, she would play mama mickey while i play mama minnie and we would act that we were goin to the market to get food stuffs for our husbands, take mickey and minnie to school etc…we also had fashion parades, we would dress up, wear our grown sister’s shoes and makeup and parade all about the living room. I was a girly girl while growing up so i didnt really jump the trees or pull all those dangerous stunts…childhood was fun..children are so innocent, no worrying, no responsibilities, just mischievous and always happy for no reason .

  2. missiey

    January 17, 2015 at 6:08 pm

    Lol. Enough things o! I can relate with the roman numerals issue.
    Few days back, I was relating to a friend how we used to lick the fruit of a plant called kashin kuda(fly poop). I still don’t know how and why we did it, but it made sense then.now the plant looks so dusty and I wonder how I ever put in my mouth despite the lessons on hygiene my mum drummed in my ears. And oh, I was a risk taker to, can’t even start on that one.

  3. chi-e-z

    January 17, 2015 at 6:11 pm

    I used to chew all the foam in our sofas specially new ones cause they smelled good “new foam smell” but tasted horrible so I’d chew just to spit it out chai something is not right with me smh. 😀

    • Itunu Taiwo

      January 17, 2015 at 9:56 pm

      hehehe, you sef try. Foam! welcome to da’ club

    • dolly

      January 18, 2015 at 11:49 pm

      I cant miss your style of writting Itunu.It felt really familiar saw your name and said ehn i just knew.Im one of your blog followers.Since you finished switched ive been waiting for a new story.Take care.

  4. Blessed

    January 17, 2015 at 7:13 pm

    hahahha…… i remember so many, lmaoooo.. i’ll start with this one

    1-i was a terrible liar and my Mum was a “seer”, no be joke oo. so one day i decided that after school the best thing was to go and pluck ebelebor( almond ) with my friends and i forgot about the time. so while on the street to my house, i put spit on my navel, plucked out plenty eyelashes and put on my head so that my mum will not remember or she wont be at home but my blodas and srestaahs, those things no work that day( e be like say them dey get particular working days, mscheww). my mum was waiting for me. now just read the conversation that followed.

    me- good afternoon ma
    mum- where are you coming from( her eyes were red not because she thought i was missing and was crying for me but she was angry
    me- from school
    mum- you this girl, you have grown wings and i will break it for you today. did your school just close? ( she brought out water cane)
    me-( immediately i started crying) mummy please let me tell you what happened, mummy please dont flog me
    mum- oya, i am waiting

    now it gets interesting
    me. okay, i was at the bus stop and i was about to enter the bus when one girl saw me and said she didnt have transport so i should lap her
    mum- ehen, so?
    me- so, while we were there, waiting for the bus to load, two other pupils came, a boy and a girl that they also dont have money so we should beg the conductor to take all of us while some should seat in attachment.
    mum- ah my wonderful daughter, so thats what took the time
    me- ( me thinking that she was buying the story not know she was mocking me, i continued confidently), no mummy, the conductor did not agree so we came down and we were waiting for another bus to load, while we were waiting, another person came( this one had transport money but it was not complete)
    mum- ehen ehen, so you continued like this until all of you were able to get the bus to allow you
    me- yes ma
    mum- thats good. NOW GET ON YOUR KNEES, all liars will go to hell
    me- crying, mummy, its not a lie, true to God. he is my witness. ask my friends( how will she ask them)

    omo, see flogging!!! if my mother should slap you, father lord! no words to describe it. she then ordered me to go and bath, omo my body pepper me that day. i sha learnt early that i could never lie properly even on the phone so i left that business.

    so many but my break time from reading is over so back to my books. much love everyone

    • Itunu Taiwo

      January 17, 2015 at 9:45 pm

      LMAOO!! Hilarious. And I thought I could pull stunts! This had me laughing hard. Nice one Blessed 🙂

    • tunmi

      January 17, 2015 at 10:37 pm

      Lmao hahahaha chai the anonymous storytellers are the reasons I love BellaNaija. This had me cracking up so much oh, why?? Chai

    • TA

      January 18, 2015 at 3:42 am

      Me too. The comments of fun readers at BN are something else. Lmao. 🙂

  5. D Main Man

    January 17, 2015 at 10:19 pm

    I wasn’t a troublesome child at all but rather i was a smart well-behaved kid. My Dad was a elated that i passed the common entrance examination to the best secondary school that he fulfilled his promise of buying me a video game. ENDING MAN… and it comes with a Gun for killing flying birds, which i loved at first sight. it didn’t go down well with my mum because my mum couldn’t believe that i could harmlessly kill the birds without inflicting some measure of damage to TV. She would say ” Papa ?#334 have you seen what you have bought..this boy is damaging this TV with this GUN….it still makes laugh up til now.

    • D Main Man

      January 19, 2015 at 7:23 pm

      Please please who robbed “SURE ARMPIT ROLL ON” As perfume? i tried it once forming very good bad boy sagging my school shorts, just for me to get to school and friends pointed out the stains from the rollon…shame didn’t allow me to tell them what i did. LOL

  6. Itha

    January 18, 2015 at 3:53 am

    Haha!!! funny stories
    I had sooooo many tales mhen, I was an interesting child…still am. :p
    1. I forged my mums signature on my homework where parent were to sign and lied to my mum that it was her that signed it and she just couldnt remember. loool imagine! my mum said she can stand a lie but not a daughter that will start stealing money from her account because i could forge sooooo well. loll
    2. I liked opening maggi for my mum when she was cooking so i could secretly go and lick it off my finger later…lol now i cringe at over spiced food
    3. I and my siblings will pour nycil or dustin powder on the room floor in a straight line pattern and use it for sliding or pretend skating,

    Too many stories mhen lol….i miss my childhood days no cares and worries.

  7. DIG

    January 18, 2015 at 4:30 am

    I once tried to be ‘pink power ranger’. You know the stunt they (power rangers) do where the jump and somersault…., I almost broke my neck that day. I thought i was going to die. Never tried that again. I also tried that bunk to bed jump stuff, at a friends place and fell in between…luckily, no serious injury, just torn clothes. lol
    Most of my adventure had to do wit saying a lot of stupid things….till now, i think back and just shake my head.

  8. neye chila

    January 18, 2015 at 3:18 pm

    Lol, those days were full of fun and pranks,I remeber stealing sm cubes of sugar in my school bag to school

  9. tunmi

    January 18, 2015 at 7:47 pm

    I remember we had to drink Ogun Jedi. It was so bitter. So my older brother and I decided to sneak cubes of sugar into it. Did absolutely nothing. Blech!!! Ogun Jedi. I preferred agbo

  10. Distinguished

    January 18, 2015 at 9:39 pm

    Hahahaha! I miss my childhood and thinking back on the silly things I did then, like licking dust cos it tasted like nzu in my mind, believing wearing my mum’s shoes transformed me into an adult,… plenty naughty stuffs I can’t list out, lol. i’m just happy when I realise i’m not the only one that did silly things. Atimes I wish I can get a day to relive some of the carefree silly moments – childhood was fun for!!!

    Thanks Itunu for sharing, I had a good laugh reading your write-up and the interesting comments, you all just made my evening – gracias

  11. sifonde

    January 19, 2015 at 12:42 am

    i have my own remarkable ecperiences too
    1. Buying kulikuli(baked groundnut) with my transport fare from school and trekking very long distances with no stress .
    2. pretending to fall asleep whenever my mum punished us to avert the punishment quickly.
    I missed those days, thanks Itunu for bringing such remarkable and unforgettable memories.

  12. Ezzy

    January 19, 2015 at 6:53 am

    Missed the toy gun days(actor nd bozz) yea I watched a lot of wrestling too, they called me undertaker and I had my own paul bearer(d guy dat holds his jazz). christmas nd New year were epic cos me nd my guys can blow banger for africa we had different skills cos d person wit d baddest skills wins d girls attention…good old days

  13. treasure

    January 19, 2015 at 11:06 am

    lol……… i remember when i was younger, i was more of a tom-boy than a girl, as i will tie my mum’s wrapper at the back of my neck and jump from a barricade on our balcony to the other side of the ground floor of our house trying to act like superman lolz. and jumping a small fence with the boys. playing mummy and daddy with other kids. the craziest one is taking spoilt touch light compartment me and my elder sis and we will take garri from our mum’s pot nd pluck leaves and we will start cooking. sooo silly.

  14. dior

    January 19, 2015 at 11:26 am

    The days of playing mummy and daddy plus fake cooking then you go to a little corner to kiss just to find out its not even nice and wonder why mum n dad even bother doing it, fall like a mango tree was another of my favs until my cousin almost broke his head.
    Two of my cousins use to stay with us, so it was always bed wetting galore……….lol, my grandpa devised a special way to deal with us and treat our fuckups, he would lock us up in the store with crabs in the baskets. we would scream our brains out, and beg him that we would stop messing the house with our pee buh guess who would bed wet the next day lmao . come to think of it now, he was probably having fun and enjoying those crazy moments

  15. Yinx

    January 19, 2015 at 1:55 pm

    I remember once my brother killed a lizard and we decided to give it a befitting burial ceremony. My brothers, neighbors and even the house girl all joined to bury Mr. Lizard. My older brother fashioned a coffin out of a toothpaste box and my younger brother drew the obituary. the girls were in charge of coking, naturally. so we made efo riro with the weeds and grass in our garden, complete with palm oil and maggi and coked them in empty milk cans served hot with eba! even bought minerals with our pocket money (we didn’t actually eat the food sha Lol) Suffice to say, Mr. Lizard’s burial was a huge success and im sure he was smiling down on us from sugar candy mountain (what we were told was animal’s heaven)

    • Oyeendah

      January 19, 2015 at 3:07 pm

      Oh God!!!! Im in tears right now

  16. Frances Okoro

    January 19, 2015 at 3:16 pm

    So quiet Itunu cause kasala like this eh..hehe.
    Did I do any of these stuff sef? My own was the sneaking outside when momsi said not to do so.
    Till today, there’s still one lie that I haven’t revealed to her…14years later oh.lol

  17. Bisi

    January 19, 2015 at 11:00 pm

    Lol….Itunu…u r here again….very funny throwbacks to childhood days…well….I wasn’t a nutty child like yals…but I remember that, my brother one Saturday evening when everybody was tired and there was no light…we had watched James Bond or was it Jackie Chan…. earlier on…that is how my younger brother decided to show us some moves…before we knew it right before our eyes…He flew up into the air and landed on his elbow…chai! Mothers are trying o….my mother…picked him up and rushed him to the hospital he had a serious dislocation my parents didn’t come back with til very late in the night…He was in so much pain but within a couple of weeks….he was fine…his young bones healed fast..He learnt his lesson sha… Lol…
    I was a very inquisitive child…my mother got tired of asking me what’s my business… Lol… Childhood days…long gone now…

  18. oj

    January 20, 2015 at 8:54 am

    itunu!!! like play like play, ur article is featured on bella naija! Success!!!

  19. Tosin

    April 14, 2015 at 4:52 pm

    being a kid has so many silly moments. oh to be young again.

  20. funmi

    June 30, 2017 at 1:08 pm

    My fun thing to do was climbing trees up to the highest point. I fell a couple times of course. Once found myself hanging upside down with my clothes caught within the tree branches and my underpants on display for all to see. I was the laughing stock of all d boys in lesson that day. I also literarily fell on the floor from the tree a few time with no broken bones, thanks to God. Of course I received a sound beating from my mum after tearing a couple school uniforms. Growing up was fun.

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