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William Ifeanyi Moore: Main Dish & a Garnishing of the Side Chic

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A friend of mine was telling me how she was ‘seeing’ this man that had a girlfriend. Initially she thought it would not bother her. After all besides his occasional company and good D, for monthly servicing she wasn’t sure she could tolerate him all that much. Not to mention the fact that he was cheating with her showed her what type of man he was. If she ever got serious with him it was only a matter of time till he found some other woman to fill the side-chick position. Right…

Fast-forward a few months later she found herself feeling some type of way about him not replying to her messages as quickly as he used to.

You see this guy lived outside of Lagos, but he was in the city for an extended period when they first met. Now he was back to the city where his girlfriend lived (I won’t mention where before someone enters hot soup. You know the average woman is qualified to work for the CIA). Obviously he was spending time with his main chick which meant he was less available to my friend’s needs.

This was the beginning of the end. When he was in Lagos he still made time to see her, but in front of her he would reply messages from his main chick and even take calls.

Ladies, just in case you were wondering, if you are the one that knows about the other girl he is with, you are the side chick. The main chick is always protected from such information.

It has come to my attention that some side chicks have actually started to think themselves the number 1 because they get more frequent D or more regular gifts. Think of it more as salary for your services and less like signs of affection. When it is time to make a choice, that man will stick to his main chick (for the most part).

Anyways, I digress. Slowly but surely my friend began to want more of this guy; but not in the way she wanted him before. She already had his bodily attention, now she wanted his emotional attention. Unfortunately someone already owned that part of him. The harder she tired, the more she came off as a whinny/needy girl. Needless to say, as these things often do, it ended in her regretting ever talking to him.

Moral: Women compete with each other for the emotional attention of men. No woman wants to feel like all they are good for is a poke in bed. Not when another woman is getting so much more.

Men on the other hand are nothing like this. The phrase ‘the other man’ is more or less none existent. The female equivalent to ‘the other woman’ is so popular that there is even a movie with that title. When a man is ‘seeing’ a woman already in a relationship, more often than not he is very happy to provide only a physical service while the boyfriend handles the emotional drama. In fact, the only thing most guys care about is that they are ‘hitting it’ better than her man.

Moral: Men compete with each other for the physical attention of women. We really don’t mind feeling like all we are good for is a rump in bed. In fact we are proud to be only good at that, rather shamefully I must admit.

This polarizing attitude towards sex can be reflected in even how sexual entertainment is tailored for the sexes. Women will rather read erotica books where a man is portrayed to supply sex with commitment and emotional attention. Men just want to watch porn with a storyline as simple as a plumber coming to fix a pipe only to end up laying one.

My advice to women: If you cannot be good, be the best at being bad. As a rule of thumb I have what I call the ‘Three Hit Theory’. This theory suggests that after sleeping with a guy three times with constant conversation in between these rendezvous, a woman will get emotionally attached (A.K.A catching feelings).

If you have decided to have no-strings-attached sex, cut out all that chit-chatting in-between. When you need an oil change, just call the service engineer and let him do his job. Avoid cuddling and long pillow talks. These actions encourage the secretion of oxytocin which is an attachment hormone. You don’t want that. If you cannot emotionally handle this operation, get yourself a man. The matter of friends with benefit is for another post.

As for guys, y’all are already cold-hearted. My prayers are with you. And please ALWAYS wear your raincoat.

P.S This is a public service announcement. All generalizations are to reflect a societal majority based on my personal observation. Feel free to agree or disagree on the comment section. I am a learner.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Photographerlondon

William Ifeanyi Moore is an MPharm graduate from the University of Portsmouth, UK. His true passion is in novels and poetry but he cheats on them with movies, plays, and music. He believes sacrifice and compromise is the bedrock of any healthy relationship. His debut novel Lonely Roads is out on 10/12/2015. Blog: www.soulsyrup.space Twitter: @willifmoore Instagram: willifmoore

84 Comments

  1. missusK

    April 29, 2015 at 2:33 am

    Looool. I concur. I’m a girl and I’ve caught stupid feelings once which ended up with me hating him ‘cuz we met when “they were having issues”. So I assumed having issues meant he was free to mingle. Well they stopped having issues and I still had feelings. Had to do the best thing for me and I took myself out of the equation.

    • RIFF RAFF

      April 29, 2015 at 12:27 pm

      Luv ya.
      Being Mary Jane and Scandal be now giving side-chicks hope.

    • Gorgeous

      April 29, 2015 at 6:35 pm

      There is such a thing as *Side guys* biko. I have a few who are willing to be and even snatch me. No joke. They wont mind in the hopes that i will change my mind about them while secretly plotting pregnancy traps. Desperation comes in all forms, male, female young and old. Nothing is the exclusive on any gender.

    • Gorgeous

      April 29, 2015 at 6:39 pm

      True confession, i snatched my present man. Though i am still deciding if i will marry him. He had to be snatched because he reminds me so much of my late Dad. LMAO. I hope he is not an away game ooo. LMAO. But he made himself available, chased me and ported. I suspected he had a girlfriend, but he always hid it from me until vals day when i spent the day with him ;). Hes fully mine now sha. Trust me, CIA stop where i start. Hes my super mumu too.

  2. Mr Ekoh

    April 29, 2015 at 3:37 am

    You seem to know so much about cheating. You know about men cheating on their women and women cheating on their men.
    You even also cheat on novels and poetry
    Haba my brother…….

  3. Tantra

    April 29, 2015 at 5:12 am

    I love the way you lie,sorry write. I agree that what leads to side chics whining is the too much talk. But, a girl can not comfortably call a service engineer to do the job n leave afterwards. The more he services,the more she may want to talk. My problem with girls is that a girl clearly knows that a man is emotionally unavailable. She however plunges in head deep with the hope that since the guy is single, anybody can be the winner. Most girls exercise their faith only on such matters. Emotionally, it is a man’s world. They are more precise about they want.

  4. Iris

    April 29, 2015 at 7:09 am

    Human beings are wonderful. How can a woman be so casual about knowingly sleeping with someone else’s man without guilt? Meanwhile when she marries she will be screaming about husband snatchers as if she was not once an expert. As for the men, your punishment is loading with double vengeance.

  5. Missthain

    April 29, 2015 at 7:37 am

    I love this ” If you cannot be good, be the best at being bad”… my advice, if you want a “side man” make sure you are in a relationship you’ll do anything for. That way you don’t care if your “side man” misbehaves or not, he’s a “side man” afterall *wink*. Make him want you more than you want him, that way you rule his mind… Just like most men, women sometimes need a change of appetite too… we are human, we have feelings, wants and needs too. It’s not just a man’s world, it’s a woman’s world too

    • AIMMMY

      April 29, 2015 at 8:40 am

      I totally agree. Your side man might teach you a few things to take home to the boo.. just don’t catch feelings Learn to F$%k like a man.

    • JumNji

      May 2, 2015 at 11:01 pm

      My main issue right there…how do I fXxxuck like a man? As in wake up the morning after the night before and not care to get his phone number…? I want you be ruthless like men.

  6. kayla

    April 29, 2015 at 7:38 am

    Any woman that dates a man knowing fully well he’s taken doesn’t deserve happiness.

    • Priscy

      April 29, 2015 at 9:13 am

      This here is my problem!
      What about the man who goes about chasing other girls knowing fully well that he in a relationship?
      Plus one thing my dear, happiness does not come only from dating a man
      Happiness is a choice irrespective of whether you are in a relationship or not

    • Temi

      April 29, 2015 at 3:45 pm

      THANK YOU!!! Listen, I know I’m gonna receive some flack for this, but I’ve never quite understood why this thinking only applies to women. So a man that’s sleeping with another man’s woman (lol stay with me abeg) shouldn’t feel responsibility. But somehow as a woman, you owe the other woman something? I feel like the only person that owes anyone anything is the person you’re in a relationship with. THE cheat-ee (the one you’re cheating with) doesn’t owe you anything. Your bf/gf does. That’s the person you entered a contract with abeg.

    • Phibz

      April 29, 2015 at 9:30 am

      Abegi!!!!!ABEG ABEG!
      Waka pass & make sure say you waka far far.

      Please what is “knowing fully well he’s taken”! What is your definition of “he’s taken”?
      It takes two to tangle.
      I’ve been down that road before and trust me when i say I WAS VERY HAPPY.
      Who are you to judge another woman’s happiness…ish!

    • oj

      April 29, 2015 at 10:36 am

      I don’t trust u. happy ko happy ni.
      what u sow u shall reap. it’s not a curse. it’s a fact

    • E

      April 29, 2015 at 11:13 am

      Plixx o pliixxxxx, it’s not tangle, we are not talking abt wire here. “It takes two to tango” ni o

    • silver

      April 29, 2015 at 2:01 pm

      Was…what happen. and why the aggression, did it touch a touchy nerve! Lol

  7. darkchildlovethyhair

    April 29, 2015 at 7:44 am

    Lol @ my prayers are with you!!!

  8. Liz

    April 29, 2015 at 8:57 am

    I really didnt think I would be commenting on BN today…but this article has eaked me the wrong way. I am sicerely praying young boy that in the next 12months you’re description would have something more than ”Graduate’ because in 2015 being a Graduate is no longer ones identity…here I am rushing to my office trying to finish a presentation for my boss (which I had to google as I had no idea what the topic was about)..I was in the hospital all night as my mother is going through Cancer treatment…I have a wedding to go to on Saturday…don’t know what to wear (yes that is a crisis)….and just received my first quater student loan bill…with a balance that is still in tripple numbers….And you’re here giving advice to side chicks…..insinutaing men and women are lude and just sleeping around. Maybe when you start meeting men. Yes those ones who are busy grinding, not having sex randomly-trying to build a strong foundation for their homes your articles would begin to have a greater cause. Well done, continue to deflame the wrong choices made by women by branding it into a category that seeks your own benefit. You are really contributing change to the society.

    • wozer

      April 29, 2015 at 10:35 am

      Who send you work to go wedding?
      Who send you make you no get cloth to wear?
      Whose head ache is that?
      If you like, you can die running up and down with nothing to show for it

      Life will continue with or without you.

      You better sit your arse somewhere

    • William Moore

      April 29, 2015 at 11:30 am

      Dearest Liz,

      Let me start by sending my sincere apologies for your mother’s condition. And as for your student loan, well I’m afraid I can’t do much to help, my money isn’t quite that long yet. Now that we got that out of the way…

      Last time I checked Bellanaija was a lifestyle blog with emphasis on popular social culture and relationships as you can see from the attention given to weddings. If you want something with more substance, I am sure there are millions of websites offering articles of a more philosophical nature. This is like going to watch The Avengers and expecting the depth of a Woody Allen film.

      You are always free to check out my personal blog to see what I do with my poetry, short stories, historical fiction, and essays (all which are still work in progress). It is very judgmental of you to make any statement on my contribution to society off one article from a website not exactly marketed to be a place for existential philosophizing.

      You have no idea what I do with my time, what I am working on, or even who I am. Please, if there are parts of your life that you feel a certain way about, try not to transfer the aggression to someone else. You can try therapy or meditation. This misplaced aggression has become a culture on this blog and quite frankly, I will not tolerate it when it is directed at me. If you don’t like something, you are allowed to ignore it…or better, write what you want us to read and become part of the solution instead of ranting about the problem.

      We all have our jobs, ways we plan to build a foundation for our family, and our own personal battles. Get off that high horse. No one is perfect. I am not asking my opinions to be taken as gospel truth or gold. It is for readers to enjoy and talk over. Everything is not for everybody. You can express grievances with the article. but if you drag me into it, you will hear from me.

      Complaining about student loans and what dress to wear for wedding in the same paragraph about cancer and you want me to take you seriously. Because you saw loan and cloth to wear. Park one side with your first world problems.

      William Moore

      P.S Perhaps you can tell me how best to express my identity in less than 50 words…

    • Phibz

      April 29, 2015 at 11:42 am

      @William… GBAM! U just penned down my tots. Tnx

    • purplegirl

      April 29, 2015 at 11:53 am

      The fact that you had to write this long letter suggests that maybe somewhere deep down you agree with her…

    • Tuu

      April 29, 2015 at 12:20 pm

      Hian! Omo u no send o! I like that you are pretentious about how you feel o jare! People should not sit behind their computers and judge people unecessarily. Live and Let live biko. This Liz, your own is too much sef.

    • I love you william moore

      April 29, 2015 at 2:03 pm

      hahahahahahahahahahahahahaa Nice one!!!!

    • Liz

      April 29, 2015 at 2:12 pm

      Mr Moore, many thanks for you’re apply .On reading them I was slightly perplexed at the response.You sounded rather rancourous. Your words do sound like you were offended by my comments. It caused me to reflect and ask for second and third opinion regarding my initial comment. Sadly it was pointed out that some of the words that I used could have caused offense and had some subtle grips. I do sincerely apologise if you were offended. Those were not my intentions. My comment was merely to enlighten you on the potential power a writer has with words,

      I work tiresley with numerous organisations within Nigeria seeking for funding to help deal with the increase of rape and sexual abuse victims. We have 10 thousand cases a week in Lagos!!! These are young, gorgeous, educated (law school, two degrees, wealthy homes red bottom sole kind of women) who have fallen victim from being lured into these social mindsets of side chicks, just having fun, getting it while can, Within the past year those numbers have trippled with the age group focused on young female adults. Yes, you are right there are millions of other websites. However whether we want to ignore it or not, BN is one of the top wesbsites where many young ladies are being influenced in various areas of their lives, They are battling the African social pressures of what a woman should be and look to these platforms for some sort of escapism. These ladies are our counterparts. My gripe is for us to learn how to tell our stories in a better light. With more thought. With a wider objective.

      Once again my sincere apologies William if you were offended or felt like I was trying to bully you. My heart is just heavy for our girls. #WITHLOVE

    • William Moore

      April 29, 2015 at 2:49 pm

      No love lost. And I am sorry if I went overboard…writers are sensitive like that. Perhaps I can write something on the subject of rape and other such topics. Who would have thought something good could come out of a comment war. You can always contact me and we can discus more socially conscious issues to write on. I will be sure to credit you as inspiration for a ‘rape’ article 🙂 Look out!

    • Mr Ekoh

      April 29, 2015 at 5:30 pm

      Bros Mr Moore,
      This one you are already telling her to contact you…………..
      Just thinking aloud………….should we watch out for Bella naija wedding?

    • nawah

      April 30, 2015 at 5:53 am

      “You wil hear frm me”…ghen ghen

    • ...just saying

      April 30, 2015 at 6:36 am

      Mr Moore, if you do all you highlighted above, surely there should be a better description of yourself than “graduate”. That title depicts a job seeker…Sell yourself better next time mate.

    • chika dim

      April 30, 2015 at 8:49 am

      I am loving your reply,to know book good ohh…lol

    • jimmy

      April 30, 2015 at 11:32 am

      For those that have a problem with Moore’s description of himself as a graduate, I see nothing wrong with it. As long as one can present himself eloquently to the understanding and admiration of others the issue of autobiography of CV should not come to play. He should be able to sell himself with his present substance rather than an antecedence of where he is coming from.

    • [email protected]

      April 30, 2015 at 1:58 pm

      If you guys are single e no go be bad idea for una two to hook up o

    • tradada

      April 30, 2015 at 2:14 pm

      you are very rude williams..grow up

  9. Mima

    April 29, 2015 at 8:58 am

    For every side chic there are always more side chics, and for the main Chic, the pain is always incurable, and if Married to the guy and in love with him,you will have to leave with the pain!! The pain lasts forever!!

  10. missappleberry

    April 29, 2015 at 9:42 am

    This story isn’t true in all scenarios. Feelings are the same for both men and women. Sometimes, women don’t plan to catch feelings and then it happens, same goes for men. I have a friend who was a side chick for a long time while the guy had his main chick. It actually was a bad situation i don’t pray for any body i know to be in, cos i don’t think i can go through the rubbish my friend went through, but today, my friend is getting married to the guy. This doesn’t mean i support such a lifestyle or that i’m an advocate for side chicks. Its just my contribution from a point of view i saw. Its always hard to know how matters of the heart will eventually end.

    • oj

      April 29, 2015 at 10:43 am

      shay u know ur friend’s unhappiness has not ended? because he will cheat on her just as he cheated on his ex-main chick. difference is she’ll be wearing his ring.

      let’s say the truth: it’s plain wrong to go into any kind of relationship (sexual, emotional or both) with a guy who u know is in a relationship with someone else. if he loves u, then he should have the decency to end his relationship with his main chick before starting a new one.

      no one should desire to be the main chick, u should be the ONLY chick in his life. shikena.

    • Jane Public

      April 29, 2015 at 11:59 am

      Don’t worry. Give her one year, the man will have left chic, right chic, side chic and Pythagoras chick. Just because she “won” him, doesn’t mean she will be happy. The way she hurt the other woman, hers will be worse because this time, the man has taken vows to love her. Infidelity always hurt more in marriage than a relationship. Like they say, the unhappiness that will hit her, is doing press up. Her type will get married and start acting brand new. You got “upgraded” from side chick to wife and that is now an achievement. Tell her well done. She has just bought herself a lifetime membership to the cheated married women club who immediately forget their past when they sign the dotted line and forget to forget that the man hasn’t changed. I do know of such a story and my friends know me for being blunt. When she started complaining, i set her straight. You don’t know what you did to Bisola, now you are complaining hubby has Seun, Titi, Uchenna, Fatima, Halima and Britney. The foolish hubby WENT BACK to Bisola to beg her, told her all sort of crap about his wife, how she “trapped him”, how he is unhappy, how he regrets marrying her, Bisola was his one true love, he made a mistake. Which kain trap, na jazz. Bisola recorded his conversations, sent screenshots of his texts and emails to the wife, she wanted to die when she heard the things hubby said about her to his ex. Hey guess what, you listened when he was complaining about Bisola to you now, and you were soothing him, and loving him and cheating with him. The coin has flipped now, how does it feel. Bisola got the luxury of walking away, you don’t, your ass is shackled to him for life in marriage. Insert evil laughter

    • missappleberry

      April 29, 2015 at 3:01 pm

      Lmao @ press up lol. In as much as i believe in karma. Trust me there are still some folks that karma forgets about. They still have it all rosy despite all. I’m not supporting my friend’s decision to be his side chick or in support of the side chick drama. But from all i have seen and heard, the guys being faithful to my friend.

    • missappleberry

      April 29, 2015 at 3:03 pm

      Also they both dated for 3 or more years before he engaged her. Thats after she became the main chick.

  11. mz_daniels

    April 29, 2015 at 9:49 am

    You know, some married women are actually the ‘side chicks’ oh. Your hubby spends more time with the other woman, travels with her and gives her money while he neglects the one at home. who is the side chick

    • side chick expert

      April 29, 2015 at 4:15 pm

      since the wife isnt aware of “the other woman”then, the other woman becomes the side chick.
      no matter how much time the man gives to the other woman she still remains the side chick.

  12. FLOW

    April 29, 2015 at 9:52 am

    Aint nobody likes the “side chic” title, its demeaning to say the least and even when you are conscious about your position in a guy’s life as the other woman you find yourself denying it, constantly lying to yourself that there’s more to what you’re doing with him other than sex, some professional cheat even make you feel good about yourself and the whole situation, showering you with all the attention and what not, the only thing they never do is hide the fact that there’s a “madam”. Somewhere from you, unless it was a case of deceit, where u were made to feel u were the madam. Its important to define these things well from the get go, so there’s no confusion and she starts wanting more than what they bargained for, needless to say that this is not a guarantee that the women don’t still want more, but a sensible chic, no matter what will keep her emotions in check and either back out when she’s feeling a certain kinda way for her “maintenance man”, or simply suffer in silence and keep her feelings in check. The chances of ever getting an upgrade from side chic to madam status is very slim. What baffles me the most is why anyone would choose to date someone they helped cheat with, knowing fully well that he would repeat same thing to you, or is the main chic title more important to women that they would rather ignore why a man would cheat on a woman he supposedly is in love with? And these men just can’t take it when the tables are turned, if they even suspect that their main woman is cheating, despite their own philandering ways, they will cry and make a big deal out of it, it will take the whole village to beg them for forgiveness. A friend of mine almost called off his engagement to his fiancee because he suspected she was cheating, actually bugged her phone and found some text messages between her and another guy and all hell broke loose, this is someone who can’t stay a month without sex o, he has different area codes of side-os, and yet nearly called his own engagement off based on suspicion o. It seems to me that the reason why these cheating men make some women their main chic is because they think they are incapable of doing same thing to them, it can’t be because they love them. Love doesn’t work that way, love is selfless, you don’t intentionally put the person you love in harms way just to satisfy a need.

    • Iris

      April 29, 2015 at 11:37 am

      Awww is it demeaning? Well we don’t want to hurt the poor side chick’s feelings, the poor baby…
      I’m not attacking you O. I understand what you’re saying about the lines blurring and the woman being in self denial, but it seems a lot of people commenting have completely ignored the feelings or happiness of the wife or girlfriend involved. Actually part of the problem lies in what you said, referring to moving from side to ‘main’ chick being an ‘upgrade’. If the side chick considers that an upgrade in her life then we see why her thinking is warped. That’s not an upgrade. That’s just a union of two inconsiderate and lying minds. Let’s call it what it is please.

    • FLOW

      April 29, 2015 at 4:29 pm

      @iris, no need getting worked up about nothing hun, we are both saying the same thing, maybe I didn’t explain myself well, so for your better understanding, I will try again, here. Most women do not intentionally just wake up in the morning and make up their minds to be side-chics and steal another persons happiness, every woman wants HER OWN man, aint nothing cool about being number 2 or 3, or whatever number for that matter, I am not supporting the side chic trend, just like I won’t judge the people who are involved in it(side-chicism (lol) isn’t the only sin abeg, nobody holy pass) let’s not forget that these men go after the women in the first place and I didn’t hear u say anything about them, why? And most times these women do not know initially that there was a chic somewhere. If I was the main chic/wife, I would pick my fight with my hubby/bf for disrespecting me, not the side chic, like I said in my earlier comment, a man who truly loves you would NEVER cheat on you, you will be his world, he won’t see nobody else, any so-called main chic that sticks to a cheating partner is part of the problem, why is it so difficult to walk away from a man who disrespect you? Because of the constant reassurance that you are “numero uno”? Is that enough? No, I will not pity any woman who chooses to stay with a cheating partner just because they were there first, there’s always a choice my dear, or could it be that the main chics are sometimes being punished with the same karma they wish on these side chics? Hope you understand now dear?

    • Iris

      April 29, 2015 at 6:43 pm

      @FLOW maybe you are the one who needs to read my comment again. Actually I commented before about the men. If I found my husband or boyfriend cheating I would definitely direct all my rage towards him. However the tone of what you said seemed like you were trying to evoke pity for the side chick. The wife or girlfriend’s emotions to an objective observer should come first. Even if the wife is a witch from hell it is her husband. Also. I get that sometimes you can talk yourself into becoming a side piece because of loneliness or attraction and then you start to hope the idiot will leave his relationship for you in the name of love, but just know that you are still in the wrong. So yes it did work me up because while the man deserves the brunt of the blame, the other woman coming out to act like she has feelings and rights is not justified. Demeaning to her indeed. The wife is immune from the disease of ‘demeanation’ abi? In fact I’m starting to blame Shonda Rhimes for this shameless boldness of side pieces. Everyone is feeling like Olivia Pope. That’s why it is a TV show sha, because if it was real life someone from the White House would have killed her dead since.

  13. bcga

    April 29, 2015 at 10:07 am

    What’s the “D, oil change, laying pipe” pls?

  14. side chick dilemma

    April 29, 2015 at 10:14 am

    @ William do I know you……lol
    Am written all over this post, the difference is he’s currently in lagos for work leave and so is the main chick, she resides there too.
    In my defense I didn’t know he had a girlfriend at first kinda suspected it and when I did find out, didn’t bother me because it was suppose to be a temporary fix but my crazy stupid heart had to yeild to his boyish charms.
    Am currently going through emotional cleansing, hopefully when he gets back, I would have rid myself of all feelings.
    Thanks will for this post.

    • side chick expert

      April 29, 2015 at 4:11 pm

      don’t hope for him to get back girlfriend. thats the symptom of getting DICK-MATIZED

  15. ednutey

    April 29, 2015 at 10:15 am

    Hi 5 to all the side chicks in the house!!!! The worst part is the catching feelings tin…its sooo painful.But my advice is, if u know you would catch feelings,cos as a woman, in all truth can tell almost immediately if you would like a guy or not,so if you would be catching feelings along the way,just jejely dont enter that road,because its sooo much easier for the guy to take a bow than the girl.

    Once a guy zips up after the action,emotions have been zipped up,its different for the girl.

    And some girls have mastered the art of zipping up emotions too sha…that aint lady-like dou,but seriously been a side-chick is one of the worst positions in life.

    Take your time,there’s always a guy who would love and want to be with you.,all day everyday baby…..

    • Phibz

      April 29, 2015 at 11:39 am

      Yup! Totally agree.

  16. Bella

    April 29, 2015 at 10:27 am

    Hilarious article. Fact is this issue of side, left, centre and whatever you deem to call it is as old as the tradition of madams and their girls, pimps and their H**s and brothels, for as long as men want sex, and women and or men are willing to give it, side, left, middle, back and fronts will never die. So I suggest you all take a chill pill and understand that sex between two consensual adults will never be crime. Married, single or whatever relationship status you are at, if your person or you want to stray, ain’t nothing that will stop that except your moral values. Period!!

  17. kayla

    April 29, 2015 at 10:48 am

    @phibz
    my definition of “he’s taken ” is that he’s in a relationship with another woman! it really hurts when you find out someone you love has a “side piece”…I mean how can you be happy? don’t do to others what you wouldn’t want them to do unto you.

  18. Theurbanegirl

    April 29, 2015 at 10:52 am

    Ugh these men need to understand that sometimes y’all are nothing more than “SARE WA GBA”.

  19. kayla

    April 29, 2015 at 11:06 am

    @phibz
    you’ve been down that road and you were very happy…… what about now? why aren’t you still on the road? are you still happy?….smh dating a man who’s in a relationship with another woman. don’t do to others what you wouldn’t want them to do to you….just saying /(typing anyone.

    • Phibz

      April 29, 2015 at 11:37 am

      Errr. Yea. I’m still happy. Very happy with my husband & kids…yea, u probably didn’t realize…I’m married.
      According to the yorubas, they say “2 ge 4” meaning two can divide four. So, it was what i wanted @ the time and i was HAPPY. It suited my lifestyle…No strings attached.
      People settle for things they’d never have imagined, not becos they don’t deserve better…but guess what, these things happen. Would you now go around holding onto regrets?? NOPE
      C’est la vie. Everything in life is an experience, a phase … and YOU MOVE ON!
      One thing i learnt early in life is … Don’t judge, especially if you haven’t been in similar shoes Kayla 🙂
      (((HUGS)))

    • oj

      April 29, 2015 at 1:14 pm

      I laugh in Spanish. you are happy, abi? your comment comes across as a big fat lie. if really u are married, you are certainly not happy.

      “God is not one to be mocked for whatever a man sows, he will certainly reap” True fact.

    • Tuu

      April 29, 2015 at 1:26 pm

      He has a side chic that knows you, you just don’t know because you not supposed to know…..Hehehe! Don’t take it to heart, it’s called Karma love! I’m sure you’ll understand when you find out though! *beentheredonethathuh*

    • Cynical

      April 29, 2015 at 2:27 pm

      @Phibz,I’ve really been trying to understand where you are coming from. You were a side chick and you were happy???? Like someone said,so y did you stop being one na. Why did you feel the need to marry and become a main chic??? You also said who are we to judge another woman’s happiness,my dear everything is not about you or your happiness.while taking care of your hubby or kids,does your happiness always come first?.you settled for something you never imagined,this is the point you put it down to mistakes one makes and move forward. And my dear,there is clear right and wrong,you don’t have to be in the shoes to judge. Dating a married man is WRONG and I’m sorry,there’s no excuse apart from greed and a lack of conscience.
      P.s…..good luck with your marriage

    • Lolo

      April 29, 2015 at 3:24 pm

      Na was o. Theres nothing wrong with a steamy affair with no strings attached when youre both single but i think you just missed the plot. But I’m just curious. While you were so happy did you ever think about the other woman? Did you feel any remorse then or even now that you’re a wife yourself? Or is your philosophy in life just to think about you and yourself alone at the time you make your decisions?

    • me

      April 29, 2015 at 6:53 pm

      Phibz no you cant be happy, you sound like a friend’s boss who told her to date married men cos single guys were giving her issues. The said lady regaled my friend on how she dated a married man, how the man spent money on her, that the wife even knew her and couldn’t do a thing, how her husband met her still with the man begged her to marry him and she decided to marry him cos she was tired of the married man. When my friend gave me the gist i was mad i told her that woman can never be in a happy marriage, she argued with me that she was, that she traveled all over the world like there was no tomorrow..Fast forward to two years later my friend couldn’t hold the secret back anymore she told me of the woman’s supposedly happy life, where her husband of 15years beats her, a woman that earns about 2.5m per month, spends her money on little girls since he is currently unemployed, threatens to come disgrace her and tell her subordinates (which means an entire region) her whoring philandering ways, she confided in me that she met the lady crying and wishing she never married the man. What goes around comes around dear, people are so good in hiding it, the lady frolicked with a married man with his own money, his wife just steered clear, now her husband for licks with younger girls with her hard earned target trapped money and beats her on top..All the traveling around the world happens to be running, she is always running from her house..People will stand outside and look and see an Ikoyi building, kids in American school, weekend travels to dubai and they will think all is rosy, underneath that well masked face sorrow breaths.. Steer clear of peoples’ spouses..Do to others as you would like them do to you

    • nawah

      April 30, 2015 at 6:08 am

      Abegiiiiiiii…..e I sha knw dt nemesis will catch up with u weda u run to God for forgiveness or not,gaskia,mtchw

  20. Babaolowo

    April 29, 2015 at 11:34 am

    The girlfriend and side chick story is very normal but the one that normally leaves me breatheless is the side chick and wife version… the sidechick catches feelings and starts dreaming, referring to the real deal as baby mama and stuffs like that.. I know a few girls like that that are hoping the men will stop loving their wife and children and run away with them or something. I guess na jazz go fit do that kind magic…

  21. Cece

    April 29, 2015 at 12:30 pm

    William Moore, you have just displayed a lack of professionalism. You are clearly not ready for the world of social media where people freely air their opinions no matter how silly or annoying they may be. Coming from a man whatever your age may be, I am even more surprised as men are generally known to be more cool headed.

    What more can i say than this ‘ Have a thicker skin and learn to accept criticism no matter how annoying, rather than insult the critic. Be grateful for the critics and those who made comments,they have at least taken the time to read your article.

  22. Adetola Adeniji

    April 29, 2015 at 12:49 pm

    Lesson for all ladies…..

  23. Nanya

    April 29, 2015 at 12:55 pm

    From a huge fan to groupie mode for William Moore…………Word!!! “I am not asking my opinions to be taken as gospel truth or gold. It is for readers to enjoy and talk over. Everything is not for everybody. “No opinion is ultimate, enjoy the read and move on or send BN a better article………… Everyone be forming tryna save the world and bringing world peace.

  24. uloma

    April 29, 2015 at 1:04 pm

    this is the first time i am commenting on BN. i usually just prefer to read up the article and the various comments. take out value and move on. I just want to say good for you william moore for that response to liz. People are so stuck up and quick to judge other people’s work cos of their own sense of either superority or inadequacy. say no to cyberbullying.

  25. http://dakkylove.blogspot.com/

    April 29, 2015 at 1:48 pm

    It never pays to be a side chick it’s bad enough competing for a man;s attention with the economy, gadgets and what not , throw in you are not even his main chick in the mix that’s really messed up.

  26. Olayemi

    April 29, 2015 at 2:06 pm

    Are we still glorifying this side chick thing? *Spits

  27. lala

    April 29, 2015 at 3:14 pm

    I support William o! how can you say he is not professional, someone insults him and he doesnt insult back.we lose ourselves the day we refuse to speak up for the things we are not comfortable about.because u saw wedding and student loans to even send you to school she is complaining, am sure you look down on people who never went to school sef.there are over 7 billion people in the world so i wonder why 1 persons article will get to you jeez.Everybody has their own problems, the world will continue to revolve with or without anybody’s article, shamming or comments.

  28. Zane

    April 29, 2015 at 4:18 pm

    Hmm! I just found out that I have been a side chick all along. Found out that the fool is married and he covered his tracks so well with lies that detective me didn’t know until now. The pain is that he made me believe our relationship was going to end in marriage. I was even happy dat my relationship is d best long distance r/ship of the year! I’m hurting badly and I wonder why he did this. I have dug up so many proof and I am planning to confront him. Even though he will deny and lie as usual. So many men are moving around with curses from women and I tell you it’s working. I will heal cos I have moved on. I just thank God I got to know b4 thorough committement. Thanks for this article

  29. Queen Spicey

    April 29, 2015 at 4:40 pm

    Side chics dey try and must not have a bone of jealousy in them cause me eh, I am a greedy lover, I don’t like to share at all and in a situation where I find out my partner is the “keziah”, I take a long walk to freedom biko. And in cases like that, I thank God for blessing me with the ability to recover from hurt fast.

  30. mr_babson

    April 29, 2015 at 4:40 pm

    “It is not the mad man that carries kaya that is the hardworking man.”

  31. Fading to Black

    April 29, 2015 at 4:44 pm

    Isio De Lavega come back already! You’ve been gone too long!

  32. Anonymous

    April 29, 2015 at 4:48 pm

    Oh Liz and Will, the beginning of a love story!

  33. ice

    April 29, 2015 at 6:13 pm

    from all the comments, I can only say that adultery and fornication has been encouraged. Why don’t we stand up and chase away cheating in its entirety.

  34. Solumkene

    April 29, 2015 at 9:19 pm

    Side Chick Vs Main Chick. Would be back to type the full story. One piece of advice, become friends with a guy who has a girlfriend. It started from the random, how far what you doing after work? , to going to all the restaurants in town since girlfriend dearest was away in Wales. In our minds we were friends abii?? Countless skype calls, lunch together, sight seeing together, Manchester today, Leeds tomorrow!. Little did i know I was setting up my heart for pain. His birthday is in a few weeks time and he is off to Amsterdam with girlfriend dearest. That means i can’t call him, text him neither will he call me. Afterall , i knew there was girlfriend dearest before i started catching feelings. I am desperately looking for a way out of this mehnn!! The battle is how to stop talking to him.

  35. Solumkene

    April 29, 2015 at 9:21 pm

    ide Chick Vs Main Chick. Would be back to type the full story. One piece of advice, NEVER EVER become friends with a guy who has a girlfriend. It started from the random, how far what you doing after work? Whats happening this weekend ?, To going to all the restaurants in town, since girlfriend dearest was away in Wales. In our minds we were friends abii?? “Good friends indeed!!!”Countless skype calls, lunch together, sight seeing together, Manchester today, Leeds tomorrow!. Little did i know I was setting up my heart for pain. His birthday is in a few weeks time and he is off to Amsterdam with girlfriend dearest. That means i can’t call him, text him neither will he call me. Afterall , i knew there was girlfriend dearest before i started catching feelings. I am desperately looking for a way out of this mehnn!! The battle is how to stop talking to him. I only thank God there was no sex involved. But cutting communication with him seems to be the hardest part now.

  36. Rrrr

    April 29, 2015 at 9:29 pm

    Anyone heard of Murphy’s Law? These things happen especially to people you least expect it from. It could be anyone.

  37. Eve

    April 29, 2015 at 10:17 pm

    Another side chick article. Please write about men who put women in this situation. In my opinion most side chics are oblivious to the fact there is a main chic at the beginning. I have been there and walked away severally… It is infuriating that the women are always blamed. No sane girl chases / hunts down men who are emotionally unavailable.

  38. Anonymous

    April 30, 2015 at 2:13 am

    To be quite honest, the main reason side chicks flourish is because they have nothing to lose. Even if the “main chick” finds out, most of the time she will still stay with her useless partner. If your BOYFRIEND is cheating on you regularly and you forgive him, you need to reevaluate your life. There is no reason to tolerate such. With wives, I understand it’s a little different because of children, nosey family members and fear of divorce. But trust me, it is more embarrassing for you to stay with a man who publicly disgraces you than it is to get a divorce. I hope one day my Nigerian women will realise THEY are the ones in the relationships, and not their mothers or pastors.

  39. ...just saying

    April 30, 2015 at 6:37 am

    Mr Moore, if you do all you highlighted above, surely there should be a better description of yourself than “graduate”. That title depicts a job seeker…Sell yourself better next time mate.

  40. Smiley

    May 12, 2015 at 5:13 pm

    We ve been waiting for the ‘friends friends with benefits’ post. Hope it ll come soon.

  41. Smiley

    May 12, 2015 at 5:14 pm

    We ve been waiting for the ‘friends with benefits’ post. Hope it ll come soon.

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