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Seun Akinlosotu: Test Drive the Engine

Seun Akinlosotu

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Hi there ladies, oh & gentlemen too. I was minding my business jejely on social media when I came across a post trending on Instagram, apparently written by a Victor Chigozie Ibeh. I’m assuming Victor is a man, so errm for a man to give this advice I would say we should probably listen. I didn’t say do o, I said listen.

So the post reads “Dear Lady, before you marry him, discuss sex. Don’t spiritualize it. Sex is important. Infact you can’t do without it. Be sure that he has a working penis. You need his penis more than you need his speaking in tongues. God created the penis and Vagina for a purpose; and they have to be put to use. Remember that any tree that does not bear fruit will be uprooted. Don’t allow anyone to deceive you. Speaking in tongues will not stop you from being wet. After the tongues comes the cock. –Victor Chigozie Ibeh.”

I swear I found it hard to keep a straight face while reading this, and I swear this is the problem with a lot of us Nigerian women. We cannot discuss bedroom matters with a straight face.

Back to Victor’s “words of wisdom”; I’ve always been a supporter of keeping your legs closed before marriage, and I applaud those who do it, but I do not judge those who don’t either. To each his own abeg. This was until my dear friend married a spiri-koko guy some 5/6 years back who would not even kiss her while dating and was even appalled at the mention of sex between non married folks. He believed sex was to be discussed by only married folks. This sounds like good advice abi? Well wouldn’t it be too late if you waited till you got married to discuss sex? Oh, by the way, bros spiri-koko could not get it up in bed and my friend who was dying to be a pastor Mrs. in future didn’t know until 2 weeks after they got married when she was more or less determined to rape her husband. The concluding part of their story is for another day.

When my friend told me what was going on, I swear my stance on “test driving” went from sitting on the fence to YOU MUST TEST, but DO NOT NECESSARILY DRIVE.  This is how I see it: Every time I’ve been to a mechanic, or a car dealership I’ve always seen either or both the mechanic and the car owner/buyer lifting the hood of the car up and taking a good look at the engine; and also leaning their ears in to hear the engine’s performance. I’m assuming by looking at and listening intently to the engine, the buyer/owner is making sure he/she does not take home a lemon. I think they believe if there’s a defect in the engine it could possibly be spotted by lifting the hood up and paying attention.

Now to be double sure that what they’ve seen matches the performance, some will take the car for a test drive before finally paying the mechanic or seller for the vehicle. Biko, what is wrong in applying this same methodology to your sex life? I leave the test drive part to each person (but please remember you don’t have to drive each car you come across) .Make sure you catch a glimpse of his “engine”, actually scratch glimpse, make sure you take a good look at the engine and make sure it can stand, there are no visible damages, and most importantly that it actually does exist BEFORE you sign the dotted line.

Some people will frown at what I just said but please don’t forget that the heart of man is desperately wicked (e.g. my friend’s husband who used Spiri-kokoness to cover the fact that his engine is defective and didn’t think it necessary to inform her before marriage). Once you take the “engine” home and everyone has associated you as the owner of the “engine” it is not easy to return it back for manufacturer defect or user defect; there is no 30 day warranty on these “engines” oo.

In essence, I agree with Victor. Bro, you have spoken well. Let she that has ears hear o. We don’t want to come and read stories that touch the heart on Aunty Bella.

Sex is not the end of the world – yes we know, but how would you handle it if you didn’t know your husband has a defective penis, I mean he kept it a secret under the guise of no sex before marriage?  Also, when people say discuss sex before marriage, what exactly are you supposed to say to each other? “Babe, lift up you skirt, abi take down your trousers let me see what you working with? “How often a week are we looking at? Are you a Christian Grey or a Christian Missionary? Should we order a karma-sutra book? Are we praying before or not?

I know I would be reeling in laughter if  I had a conversation about it and I definitely will not keep a straight face.

People, how did your sex conversation go with your intended? Please come and share.

Love is a beautiful thing.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime |  Bobby Flowers

Seun Akinlosotu is a Tech Analyst by day and an aspiring Writer by midnight. She's a self proclaimed Romanticist who likes to write light heartedly. Her write ups are geared at a cross mix of audience, none of which will need an Oxford Dictionary to understand her. There's more to read from her at www.lovedeyshackme.blogspot.com. & on IG @Chechecosmos

120 Comments

  1. Babygiwa

    May 15, 2015 at 11:02 am

    Looooooooooooooooooool! Gurlllll. You are right o, let us test to be sure we are working with a correct engine. We don’t necessarily have to drive tho.

  2. serene

    May 15, 2015 at 11:05 am

    I’m with you on this one sister

    • Wale

      May 16, 2015 at 1:43 pm

      I’d say slow dance with your partner often, that will give you a good indication of how he will be in bed. Don’t give up the cookies until after you’ve closed the deal.

  3. Tru

    May 15, 2015 at 11:08 am

    LOLOLOLOLOL…Oh my word, I am laughing hard as I read. Was practically howling at “Will we pray beforehand” . Us Nigerians and spiri-tinz sha.

  4. K

    May 15, 2015 at 11:12 am

    I once watched a video about “divorce advice to anyone who is about to get married or planning to in the nearest future” most of them spoke about talking about sex before getting married and once married be spontaneous try different position and all. I must talk about sex but I shall be laughing while trying to keep a straight face. But honestly talking about sex is no big deal! Haha?

    • Chi

      May 15, 2015 at 5:16 pm

      You will test your way to AIDS…OLOSHI!!!!

    • Colour Purple

      May 16, 2015 at 1:14 pm

      Such an ignorant response, Aunty knowledge is power educate yourself…..KMT!

    • Tito

      May 17, 2015 at 10:22 am

      Shoro niyen?? Receive sense IJN

    • cheezy

      May 18, 2015 at 6:13 pm

      Baby, did u read this stuff at all???

  5. bimbola

    May 15, 2015 at 11:12 am

    “testing the engine” in quote is well said,lol i strongly,totally ,desirely approve it,i am a lady in my early 30s,am with dis guy that has all the charimas a lady wants in a guy,well endowed in stature but to my surprise,NO NO NO in bed.

    • Chi

      May 15, 2015 at 5:19 pm

      Sisi, you nko!?! Testing your destiny away. Herpes calleth you…Repent!!!!

    • Ay

      March 12, 2016 at 3:34 pm

      So Why on Earth Are u still With him? Babes U guys don’t listen! U know U can’t marry him so waste ur time? Other willing guys won’t notice u as long as ur with Mr 0% in bed!!!! Run

  6. Queen of Everything

    May 15, 2015 at 11:16 am

    I believe in test driving, life is too short for terrible (or no) sex.
    Just the number of frustrated married people I’ve read stories about on LIB is enough to convince me
    something as (seemingly minor) as mismatched libidos is a problem in itself, let alone finding out after you’ve signed till death do us part that oga cannot wake up where it counts…

    • FinchleysFinest

      May 15, 2015 at 11:54 am

      Yes its a sin before God. But with the alarming rate of erectile dysfunction in town now, Its hard to decide.
      Most erectile dysfunction is often associated with guys with broken home or guys that have trust issues or keeps to themselves… Or some sort of disease or psychological issue.

      But this matter pass wetin I fit talk so I will just relax, chill and wait for other comment. So I am indifferent here… I say Yes AND No to testing of engine in any form…

    • ssah

      May 15, 2015 at 2:15 pm

      trust God to give you the best.

  7. Dee

    May 15, 2015 at 11:30 am

    Its risky not to discuss sex before marriage o. I still don’t support doing ‘it’ before marriage tho. But there’s should be free discussion about it..the intended couple shdnt shy away..infact in most counselling classes,its usually adequately discussed.

  8. beebee

    May 15, 2015 at 11:49 am

    well before we got married, I told him under no circumstances was he going to see touch feel or lick the p*******y until we were married. and if he was that desperate there are lot of girl out there he could go have it with. See, for me not being married was not the end of the world and if it is your personal principal then stick to it. moreover if brother man can not get it up after marriage, that too is not the end of the world ” there are many ways to kill a cat”
    its all about one’s conviction I say

  9. BooB's

    May 15, 2015 at 11:50 am

    Wahoooo! Lol Lady Seun! U killing me with laughter, it’s well said, am just in the Quick restaurant with my son while ready & lauging my ass off! Oyibos looking at me, is this lady normal & all coz of u Lady Seun! It’s well said and I must confess 20yrs ago when I married my hubby & presently the sex goes up and like na wahoo! Na wetin I marry! Thank God Coz After 20yrs Of Married I’ll Not Complain Instead All Grace To God! Ladies In The House Pls Taste Before Committing!??

    • moluwa

      May 17, 2015 at 2:26 pm

      Do not taste,internet sef go dy make percn tink d wrong tin z d right tin,God guide us,iya dnt advise ur sons nd daughters to taste bfor marriage,sam percn dt will shout wen dy bring pregnancy,mtchew

  10. Truthful

    May 15, 2015 at 11:54 am

    Perhaps…”brothers” should be asked the question during courtship/counselling…….at least before God and the counsellors and confirm that “he can perform”.
    There was this deceitful “brother” who was impotent and did not say anything until the wife discovered after marriage.

    Well…….only death could do them part……….na so the sister’s spiritual brethren prayed the husband to death o. (This is not super story. This is a true life story)….and she became free again!

    And my own experience……..I was at Bro’s house one weekend. Up till then, he had never seen my nakedness. And so..I went to take my shower becuse of heat and to the shock of my life,,…the bathroom door flew open and there he stood. I guess the door locked was deliberately “doctored” for the pupose. I was MAAAAAAD at him.

    He came later to tell me…………..he just wanted to be sure I was “complete” and not to ask/have sex with me. I was stunned.

    My advise is that we should be open to answer or ask any question even at courtship……..no test driving please. That is fornication!!!!!!

    • o.o

      May 15, 2015 at 4:47 pm

      hahaha @ prayed brother to death

  11. Iris

    May 15, 2015 at 12:00 pm

    I also think it is generally better (though it works differently for everyone) if sex comes after marriage and not even particularly for religious reasond. However, I also believe that if it is easy to resist it before marriage then something is wrong. If a man never brings it up and will not even kiss you before you marry then it is not a ‘thank God I’ve found a spiritual man’ issue at aaalll. I don’t know how a grown woman will see that kind of thing and have no fear.

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      May 15, 2015 at 1:29 pm

      This woman… why so wise? Why na? 🙂

      Indeed, if you truly want to abide by a no-sex-before-marriage principle, you can still discern desire and sexual appetite without “testing” (as we delicately out it). A man who wants you, wants you and will show you VERY clear signs of this, in spite of his Spirikoko ways. In the words of a male friend, “that thing [which lies between men’s legs] no dey respect imsef at allll”. Whether he’s a preacher or pimp, so let’s proceed with wisdom.

      And to my Christian sisters who believe that their ability to speak in tongues will stand for them in their season of temptation – DON’T ASK TO SEE OR SEEK TO TOUCH WHAT YOUR DEFENSE SYSTEM CANNOT WITHSTAND OH!!! No be to talk, “had I known” after the passion had flamed out and regret ensues. You can feel the heat burning through the hinges without opening the door of the furnace.

      Plus all this my plenty use of euphemism is starting to make me feel like a village elder… 😐

    • ssah

      May 15, 2015 at 2:13 pm

      @Mz Socially Awkward…i keep saying it. are you sure we are not twinnies? i was expecting your comment sef, when i scrolled and saw it, it was on point. gbosa!!! well said.

    • Iris

      May 15, 2015 at 10:13 pm

      ‘Had I known’ Lol.

    • anon!

      May 15, 2015 at 5:14 pm

      There’s this guy from a wealthy family I met last two years, in two months he got proposed, I was 21 and somehow happy I got a good man that doesn’t want sex before marriage. But something about him ticked me off. During romance and small small touchie touchie(tho it never got to sex), even if it’s for hours he doesn’t get aroused, but he’ll excuse himself, go to his room and when he comes bac his sausage would be so visibly swollen under his khaki. I am not a bad girl, I was just curious and once tried to hold him there during the romance, what I touched felt like rubber….it felt odd. I can’t explain. Anyways, me and my spirikoko 36yr old bobo didn’t make it. I broke off. My spirit felt something was wrong with all the urgency.

  12. MyNameIsNotSusan

    May 15, 2015 at 12:04 pm

    Nigerians can pretend! Majority of us enjoy sex and have sex before marriage just like people in other parts of the world. Yet we write articles and post comments on blogs claiming that we don’t support sex before marriage. And then my very own pet peeve – an adult who can’t talk about sex (even with their friends of the same gender) without giggling. No doubt our extreme religiosity has contributed to this. If we can just stop pretending and lying to ourselves, the chances of us finding ourselves in sexually frustrating unions will be a lot slimmer.

    • cindy

      May 15, 2015 at 1:19 pm

      Cc those who are jealous because others have more self control than them????????????????????????

  13. tf

    May 15, 2015 at 12:08 pm

    I am 30 years. I am against sex (the actual act) before marriage and i don’t indulge in it. but believe me u need to test drive the engine and I so do. Truthfully, if we do not intend to deceive ourselves you cannot have a relationship without the kissing and touching and whilst doing that I study the engine to see if it reacts to my touch, I never used to kiss and all until I almost married a man who let me say would not be able to carter for my needs. The tin was so tiny that he hides it in btw his legs and it looks as if he has a vagina, I had to move on sharply.

    • almost deceived

      May 15, 2015 at 4:57 pm

      hahaha @ almost a victim and moved on sharply……… i was almost a victim too….anytime i see the dude and his wife, i just smile coyly to myself x_x

    • Aweriawhen

      May 15, 2015 at 11:49 pm

      Lol

  14. tish

    May 15, 2015 at 12:11 pm

    Lol, the Victor guy wrote discuss sex though, which I’m all for, not test the engine. How many people can test, without driving? Now that’s what I’m against, simply because the One that I serve has instructed against it until marriage . It’s difficult but doable.

  15. Jk

    May 15, 2015 at 12:34 pm

    @ seun: Your head dey there. Pls tell them u can possibly test & not drive…that doesn’t make you less clean or spirit filled! (One of the reasons i also dont like arranged marriages! A Yoruba proverb clearly says: oju lo mo un toyonu!) Often times many desperate & deceitful guys hide under the guise of being “spirit filled & upright” to enslave their victims who would then become so emotionally & phycologically shattered. And that to me is a Greater Sin!

  16. Talk

    May 15, 2015 at 12:46 pm

    Question For The People

    Am Sure God Doesn’t Want Us To have Bad Sex = Unhappy Marriage = Divorce.
    But The Bible Also Condemns Sex Before Marriage

    My Question Is, At What Point In A Relationship Do You Have The Sex To Know If Your Partner Is Only Good At Speaking In Tongues?
    Cos We Can Talk Talk Talk About It All Day But Not Everyone That Talk The Talk Can Walk The Walk ..(Actions Speaks Louder Than Words)
    Plus We All Know Men Can Like To Ginger Their Own Ego and Calm King Kong————– My Sex Is Bad—Said No Man Ever

    Sooooooo , Do You Wait Till After Your Marriage, Hoping And Praying He Will Perform Wonders In The Bedroom Or Is It Okay To Test Drive After You’re Engaged??? Cos At That Point, You Can Still Return Ring o. Abi????

    God Knows I Cannot Afford To Have A Lifetime OF Boring Sex. And All This Holding Body Things Need To Pay Off Big Time.

    P.S
    Oh God Of Libidos, Make My Future Hubby Not Only A Prayer Warrior But A Conqueror In All Aspects.. Baba God, Abeg, Reason My Matter

    • Seun Akinlosotu

      Seun Akinlosotu

      May 15, 2015 at 2:05 pm

      LMAOOOOOO…………. “Oh God of Libidos”….. oh my….loll…. I can’t even construct a proper sentence after this…

    • papermoon

      May 15, 2015 at 2:26 pm

      *God of libidos*!, Talk, see how you are making God blush before the heavenly host….. you are mean!

    • omo

      May 16, 2015 at 12:42 pm

      @papermoon…’see how you are making God blush…’ really?this got me laughing hard…is it just me but it sounds really sweet.PS:how you take know.lol

    • Abi

      May 18, 2015 at 1:45 pm

      As In!!! You literally just entered my mind and wrote everything I wanted to say.
      I’m holding body as well, but nna, once there’s a ring n this finger, na to test and drive o.

  17. Ife

    May 15, 2015 at 12:55 pm

    Please how do you test without driving o???!!! Coz sometimes testing eventually leads to driving

    • Seun Akinlosotu

      Seun Akinlosotu

      May 15, 2015 at 2:06 pm

      Lol…. you can at least do a visual test now……from 3 feet away.

  18. [email protected]

    May 15, 2015 at 12:57 pm

    LOL! All I’m going to say is, Nigerians can pretend! Kai! This our faux-religiosity/spiritually is so annoying. We’re most likely the country with the highest concentration of hypocrites in the world. It’s just sex. Seriously. No need for al this long story.

  19. krasavitsa

    May 15, 2015 at 1:00 pm

    I’m all for testing and driving (long distance too!). There’s no need starting an engine and watching it give out just 5mins after the test drive; one needs to know if the bobo can go long distance. Btw, what’s up with everybody pretending to not “drive” before marriage? BN pls don’t swallow my comment

    • Ada Nnewi

      May 15, 2015 at 1:56 pm

      [email protected] distance…I just can’t!!!!(Crying and Laughing)…btw i’m a long distance fan as well… 😀

    • Me Full Ground

      May 16, 2015 at 10:42 pm

      @Krasavista & Ada Nnewi, how long is “long distance”? Please educate us o.

    • Amaka

      May 15, 2015 at 2:04 pm

      There are those who want to test drive and those who simply don’t want to based on whatever convictions they have. you don’t have to call it pretense because am of a different opinion or orientation from you so i wont call you an “engine whore” for test driving so many of them.

    • kay

      May 18, 2015 at 5:28 pm

      Oi krasavista, SheeSh! that was a mouthful. Not everyone drives all the way so it’s not an issue of pretense. For those who hold body, Fear not for HE is with you…..

  20. Amaka

    May 15, 2015 at 1:00 pm

    I dont subscribe to sex before marriage, but i was curious to know what my husband to be is working with. We discussed sex, he wouldn’t bring up but i did and we talked about it like two adults. Now i know the engine works because each time we kissed( which is the farthest we’ve gone anyway) it will quickly kick start. One time we were discussing and I jokingly asked if couples should have sex when they are fasting, he said ” i no know for you o but no carry “Am” play with me I have endured for two long o and besides most fasts end at 6pm so the nights are available” . I smiled to myself and thought – we are definitely on the same page.

    • iyke

      May 15, 2015 at 1:58 pm

      smh ….Let’s give you a certificate!
      Keep deceiving yourself sister Amaka Okereke! Keep waiting until your wedding night before you will realize how much you’ve been starving!

    • shh der

      May 15, 2015 at 3:32 pm

      Hey Mr. You have no right to call her decision self-deceit. Learn to respect people and their convictions.
      If you are feeling guilty and intimidated, that there are still people who have such strong convictions even in a society where sex is abused, by all means swallow some ice.
      I appreciate people like her! Deal with it.

    • Seun Akinlosotu

      Seun Akinlosotu

      May 15, 2015 at 2:09 pm

      Lolll…exactly my point. I don’t see anything wrong with kissing before marriage, and if your man is working with something there will be a reaction beneath his zipper when you kiss. No reaction calls for bringing the guns out ……..not literal

  21. Noms

    May 15, 2015 at 1:09 pm

    I am of the opinion that sex must be discussed. There has to be a connection which leads to some visible reactions(hardening of certain parts of the body) that can/should be felt. My married friends said it goes beyond being hard ooo, na God go help me/us.
    Spiricoco or not, I dunno how people survive in a relationship without at least kissing. Churches these days talk alot about sex to intending couples. @my friends wedding sometime ago, it was as if we were on a couples retreat cos the way the pastor was talking about sex, ehn, he even wrote a book.
    Test driving… I nor get that body and amen of my friends think that’s y I’m yet to be married at 30.

    • Seun Akinlosotu

      Seun Akinlosotu

      May 15, 2015 at 2:11 pm

      Noms, don’t mind your friends. A wonderful man is around the corner for you, and may you receive the grace to “feel” the connection” – not test the connection o.

  22. Alista

    May 15, 2015 at 1:40 pm

    Looool.
    What guarantee do you have, that after ‘testing’ and he is Superman in bed, that after marriage it will remain like that? If a year after marriage he comes down with a sickness that affects his sexual performance nko? What do you do? Hang yourself?
    Or is that how you will keep ‘testing’ till you find the Superman? And if superman is great in bed and scores zero in other qualities, you resume your ‘testing’ round?
    SMH
    As for me, I prayed about sex alongside praying for a partner. I asked God for a man that will satisfy me in bed. Of course He answered. Even till now, while married, I pray about our sex and I will say so far it’s been great.
    I never ‘tested’. I don’t believe in that crap. Whilst we courted, we discussed sex. A lot even. It helped the both of us. Its no big deal. When I think it is a big deal, is if your partner doesn’t even want to discuss it. There should be a balance between ‘spirikoko’ and sex jare.
    And ya, i’m anti-testing.

  23. sex starved ladies

    May 15, 2015 at 1:47 pm

    I see sex starved ladies who don’t have the opportunity to discuss sex with anyone but come online to talk about it on a daily basis.

    I see people who long and desire for sex but are being subjected to either forced or willing celibacy. Forced celibacy due to pride as they can’t ask a guy to come do them, religious tenets or hatred for men

    I see people who pretend alot, who will abuse their bfs/guys when they discuss sex with them, who act like saints as if they dont know anything about sex but are burning within to have an experience.

    I wish we can be who we are.
    I wish we can have ladies who don’t pretend or form
    i wish we could have ladies who will initiate sex with their men and not die within
    i wish we could have a world where people are not two faced.

    Test ko, drive ni.

  24. iyke

    May 15, 2015 at 1:50 pm

    Guys, if your gf says No sex before marriage, trust me, it’s because you are ugly and she’s not all that into you. Ladies, can’t say happiness without a penis..
    Ladies,if a guy tells you ‘No Sex without marriage’, lol…..trust him at your own peril..
    Why did he come to you in the first place?Because you are smart,educated,rich or what?

    • Young and Confused

      May 15, 2015 at 3:15 pm

      Hehehehhehehehehehehehe And a brother finally speaks.. I would have supported you sir.. But amma just wait till they come at you first.. **Winks… You actually do have a point though Oga Boss Iyke.. The prime reason why we go after ladies is to get Laid… and if we beat the 90 days Rule, then we are MVP in our heads.. **Zips lips…

      Ya OYO from here onward oh boss.. when they come at you, just Holla, and we the brothers will come defend you **Shines teeth **Winks… In my Cotonou Americanna accent.. lemme stand right here mehn.. Amma gonna support you from down here sir.. **Shines teeth

    • ola-nil

      May 15, 2015 at 3:36 pm

      Even as you typed that, you knew you were spreading falsehood.
      So I leave your conscience to judge you(thats if it’s not dead already)

  25. ellaololade

    May 15, 2015 at 1:59 pm

    I have learnt alot from this ooo….. I’m definately up for testing without driving.

  26. momo

    May 15, 2015 at 2:01 pm

    Judge not that ye may not be judged! Those that turn their nose up at the “test-drving’ should cast the first stone. Life is too short jare. I would say 70% are doing it anyway, 20% are lying about doing it and the rest have booked their spaces in heaven by abstaining. 🙂

    • Blessmyheart

      May 15, 2015 at 4:58 pm

      I had planned not to comment on this article till I saw your comment. I’m sick and tired of so-called Christians playing the ‘judge not’ card every time. Are you a Christian? Do you believe the Bible is the Word of God? Do you believe the Bible has instructions on Christian living? DO you believe God’s standards have not changed in respect of ‘civilization’? If you said yes to all the previous questions then you should know that sin is sin. If I point out to you that what you are doing is sin according to Biblical standards, I am not judging you, merely pointing out a truth to you.
      And for those who will come with sin is sin. Yes, all sin will take you to hell though they may not all have the same consequences on earth (story for another day). A person born of God will not make a habit of sinning. We may slip and make mistakes sometimes but we have an advocate and we need to immediately confess, repent and stop sinning. If you make a habit of sinning then you are no longer a Christian. You need to retrace your steps back to God.
      On the topic, the author’s stand has always been mine. If either of you is not sexually attracted to the other, there is a problem. Many times, when a man is aroused you can see signs of it, just look at his crotch area. You don’t need to have sex before marriage. Do not be fooled that it is impossible, you’ll be shocked at the number of people that abstain before marriage and have a fulfilling sex life in marriage. There is no guarantee in marriage, in life sef, except for those who have put their trust in God.

  27. Enn!

    May 15, 2015 at 2:09 pm

    I wonder a lot about this too cuz I’ve heard a lot of fear inducing tales about d whole “package” being practically non-existent. I still believe in keeping yourself till marriage despite it but I believe that praying to God about the kind of sex life you want is key.
    U can talk all u want but there still chances that some will lie, then on testing without driving how do u determine d boundary, cuz there’s a very thin line btw testing & driving.

  28. Anonymous

    May 15, 2015 at 2:19 pm

    Kokolet go down let me introduce you to the .. .. .

    • Ada Nnewi

      May 15, 2015 at 4:22 pm

      black mamba 😀

  29. buki

    May 15, 2015 at 2:23 pm

    well, if you think it is ok to test before marriage I , think it is totally wrong. Should he also test if you as a woman can conceive or if you still have a womb? How many things do you want to test before committing to marriage? Having been married for almost seven years i will say it is a lame way to justify promiscuity. keep yourself because you love God and respect Him and see if He will watch you go headlong into a mess without serious prior warnings. Remember, God is not mocked.

    • Seun Akinlosotu

      Seun Akinlosotu

      May 15, 2015 at 2:43 pm

      Buki, agreed. People will do what they want to do regardless of what you and I say. To each his own and everyone will face the consequences for their action. The message here is not that you must test, but that there are ways to somewhat verify the “engine” status. You don’t have to touch or drive it but it won’t kill you to look\observe. There are so many loved children of God who find themselves is less desirable situations. There are ladies who married as virgins but ended up married to the worst men on earth. We love & respect God does not mean we will not face tribulations. Even the Apostles did.

    • Passerby

      May 16, 2015 at 8:23 pm

      You are very wise Seun. It is not by any body’s power, might or test but only by Gods mercy. Even when you look from afar or partake in the sinful act. Life is a risk regardless.

  30. Morality and Spirituality

    May 15, 2015 at 2:29 pm

    If you all want to claim to be moral and spiritual, the is no half obedience or part obedience

    Obedience is obedience. If you want to be M & S, let your obedience be complete

    Therefore no testing no driving.

  31. ik

    May 15, 2015 at 2:39 pm

    I am neither here nor there about sex before marriage. I have tried not to have premarital sex in the past with guys that Ive dated but it work with some. Others, It didnt ( don’t judge me like you know me) LOL.

    Sisters pls know your self control threshhold and steal intense kisses. Notice his ” reactions” pls find useful benchmarks below:

    1. Feel his girth, length for size matters. If it feels too small for you, alele!! Face your front!!
    2. Did you get a GOOD reaction? How long did the reaction last? Not so long?? HMMMnnn
    3. This is the worst of them all…. DID he release????!! Haaaa!! Don’t be fooled by the ” bby, I found you so sexy speech..

    Holding and feeling it has helped me keep my ” figure” low! #TeamKnowWhatYouAreWorkingWith

  32. Torch

    May 15, 2015 at 3:00 pm

    Not everyone is great in bed, and most people learn along the line.

    I have no issues with sex after marriage principle BUT there is an appropriate age for that Glorified details in my opinion 16-28 years (I strongly support that age group). Also that doesn’t mean it has to be so (To each their own).
    This Age group often believe in the ‘PURITY PLEDGE ‘ (A no sex before marriage vow) which is absolutely fine by me.

    Apart for the fact that I personally believe having a TEST Drive with someone you are emotionally involved with and you foresee a future with or talk of future plans. I don’t see why you cant have a safe sex (at least to avoid the part where you get pregnant before the Marriage) Sex often time gives you this emotionally bond to someone you are in a relationship with.

    I read somewhere where it says :””Once sex enters the equation, a relationship is never the same””

    Like i wrote earlier, I have no issues with sex after marriage principle
    BUT please if you are freaking 30 ++++ and you are still demanding sex after marriage!!! and to make matter worse, boasting about being a VIRGIN!! Holy Ghost take the wheels. Kindly Jog along with your Nike boots meen!! I cant deal!! your mates are married with kids. Biko taste that shit!! don’t waste 15- 30yrs of your life acquiring VIRGIN WEALTH.. Menopause is round the corner.

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      May 15, 2015 at 3:54 pm

      I can personally refute your theory by telling you of a 37 year old virgin I know who is about to get married.

      Did the “no sex before marriage” mantra work against her with previous suitors? Of course it did for boys will be boys. 🙂

      Did the present bobo stick around despite his own libido being curtailed by “lack of access”? Yep. 🙂

      Is he a hot specimen of God’s created goodness? I refuse to admire another woman’s property in too much detail but even my church mind know say e no bad, at all. 🙂

      Ladies, nothing gives me life like debunking these twisted rules/assumptions so I’m just grateful to God that such real life testaments to keeping your hope and principles alive. And to any lowlife who comes with the missile of, “you nko? Why hasn’t it worked for your own very single self?”… :)…. Inasmuch as I gladly celebrate love flourishing in other people’s lives, I’m unashamed to admit that my very many issues (& personal demons) are still an unresolved project in that particular calling. 🙂

    • Ada Nnewi

      May 15, 2015 at 4:24 pm

      LMAO!!!!

    • Jane Public

      May 15, 2015 at 4:41 pm

      …………………actually that is BS. Having sex in your 20’s doesn’t mean you will have great sex. Trust me, take a sample of women having sex in their 20’s and you will be surprised to find that the majority aren’t having great sex. Don’t know about Nigerians, but in the US, such studies have been done many times and the results are very similar. Anyone following your advice to just do it and not wait till you are 30, isn’t guarantee of great sex, so you will be better off missing out. Educate yourself more about menopause please. In your 30’s menopause is still faaaaaaar away. My Aunty had her last child at 47, a total surprise baby. Not just that, women reach their sexual peak by their late 30’s to mid forties, hence the cougar phenomenon. Test or no test, great sex will not make up for a bad marriage, that is a given. Yes good sex is a good factor in marriage, but when the clothes get back on, and you are out of bed, if you live with a lying, cheating, indifferent or downright nasty husband, you will not even want him around you, not to talk of in you. Your mates are married with kids, is a daft sentence. Your mates are also on the Forbes list, scratch that, people probably half your age are on the billionaires rich list. Geeez, the way Nigerians carry this marriage and kids thing. You would think if we channeled this competitive or should i say comparative attitude to the state of our nation, maybe things will be better. Our mates in Europe for example, have a better life than us, what should we do about it, but no, it is marriage and kids. Not a bitter singleton, just thought to add that, because many think it is only bitter singletons that make such comments. If you like have a 15 year history with sex, or a 5 year history with sex, in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t add to your personality, it doesn’t make you happier than the next person. Sex is a personal experience. A woman who has tested and driven, with mileage from here to Timbuktu may end up with a man who is terrible in bed but makes her happy. Her counterpart may end up with a man who is fantastic but shares his skills with everyone in a skirt. Choose your poison as they say.

    • Aleesha

      May 15, 2015 at 5:29 pm

      I wish I could love your comment more than once. Your head is very there!!

    • named

      May 15, 2015 at 6:28 pm

      I have always loved you! You have said all there is to say.

    • Mide

      May 15, 2015 at 5:15 pm

      Although you’re pretty much talking to me….I couldnt help laughing out loud……lmao @ “BUT please if you are freaking 30 ++++ and you are….”…..

      I remember saying a prayer last yr at 29, telling God I wanted to have sex dis yr o being d 30th, so he shld try work with me…. it felt funny, I laughed at myself after, but that was how I felt…..and to be honest this yr has been a struggle…. have come pretty close but still holding onto whatever shred of hope there is….. I dont know how d yr will end, at dis point I’m weak for words!

    • Bimbo

      May 15, 2015 at 11:09 pm

      See,s all the virgins in Lagos are on this comment thread! That’s the only way to explain what I’m reading!

    • shioor

      May 16, 2015 at 7:13 am

      Get away while you can… or get used to the fact that not everyone consents to pre-marital sex

    • kay

      May 18, 2015 at 5:30 pm

      Lol

  33. BABCOCK

    May 15, 2015 at 3:21 pm

    Spiri-koko makes me remeber my good old school days……..lol

    • moluwa

      May 17, 2015 at 3:08 pm

      Yh oh yh,lol,d name nd all, am now in babcock nd we r still spirikokoing it,dt stressful stuff,i like it tho….

  34. http://dakkylove.blogspot.com/

    May 15, 2015 at 3:31 pm

    hehehehehe at all this arguments.
    People should not demean people who believe in sex after marriage regardless of their age, if they have decided for whatever reason to keep their legs closed until after marriage then it’s their prerogative , however being a virgin does not make you better than anyone else, it’s not just about closing your legs what about your character? it’s a personal choice and spiritually it’s the right thing to do. I guess everything in life has its pros and cons for the young girl reading this, make sure you know the reason why you are making your decision. Sex should not be treated as a fast food. God will judge us all.

  35. Wizzy

    May 15, 2015 at 3:32 pm

    Wisdom Application goes along way in helping matters.. You don’t have to test drive the engine to know it works. You still have the option of simply checking and starting the engine and that will give you an idea if it’s functioning well. Moreover, you can opt to let a professional handle the matter of checking the engine (well-qualified).

    God gave man wisdom and understanding, if applied it can save a lot of lives and hearts. For couples engaged already or those considering marriage seriously (in future), or even those about to get married… It is usually suggested and advised that the couple get tested for STI’s, but a step further in applying wisdom would be to get proper reproductive organ test. For men, you can book to see a Urologist/Endocrinologist and ladies holla at the Gynecologist. In addition, a therapist/counselor can be involved for further assessment.

    Trust is one of the key factors in holding any strong relationship, so it shouldn’t be a problem going to the doctor with you partner for the check-up. And if going with them is not possible, then inform them of the tests done and the findings. Bottom line should be HONESTY in communicating such concerns and getting professional advice that will help both partners in properly planning for the future and making decisions.

    Now if anything arises from the results, both partners will now know whats up, but will also be able to decide individually and as a couple if they truly want to make things work. Everyone in life has and had a past, but what matters is considering the present and planning the future wisely whilst involving God.

    I don’t support any kind of test driving. I say chill and get to know the brand you want to buy and what it’s all about, so you get an idea of the manufacturers product design and specifications. Once you have adequate data and are happy with what you know, you can now seek the counsel of qualified professionals in handling such product assessments, so you have a better idea of what your about to buy.

    Hence, the final decision is up to you after all the data you collect and advice you receive. I just hope you make the right one. Don’t risk your health, heart, generation, future or destiny, just because you decided to test drive something (recklessly or not) whilst you could have sought for other alternatives in testing the same thing. WISDOM!!!! Apply Wisdom and ALWAYS ask God for it in such matters. After all, he wasn’t cray cray when he said WAIT, MAKE THE PURCHASE FIRST AND FINALIZE THE CONTRACT before getting the final product.

    #JustSAYIN #JustMyTwoCents #WisdomSavesYouFromTrouble

    N.B [Couples]: Just like the way you have a normal conversation that’s the same way ya’ll can discuss sex. Just apply wisdom in what you say. Don’t start fires you can’t put off. Watch what you entertain in your mind, it makes all the difference in your discussion and the outcome. And finally, BE HONEST in your thoughts, express them wisely. Also, If discussing sex among you two is hard/a bit embarrassing or whatever the situation, involve an elder/counselor/pastor you both trust, but pray over it for God’s leading and wisdom. #KeepEmConvosInOpenPlaces #FleeTemptationLikeJoseph #YouDontSitAndNegotiateInADangerZone #BeBlessedYa’ll

  36. TFS

    May 15, 2015 at 3:37 pm

    Well for me: stand on ”NO SEX’ before marriage. But seriously support the motion of ”discuss SEX before marriage. @buki: well said God can not be mocked. @Talk: Baba God must reason our matter o. LOL*-*

  37. simple

    May 15, 2015 at 3:47 pm

    But do you guys not know that some guys deceive while in testing?
    I once had a friend who gave me lift. In his car I saw some drugs. Being a pharmacist, I was curious. Found out it was viagra. The guy in question: 29 years old.
    I finally got him talking and he admitted to have been on it to boost his performance. And of course, his gf wasn’t aware.
    Which made me realize, the guy making you ‘ooooh’ and aaah may be under the influence of a substance.
    The ‘brothers’ are not the only ones deceiving, ‘testers’ deceive as well.

    • Cashman

      May 15, 2015 at 6:03 pm

      I would hv agreed if Adam didn’t eat the forbidden fruit!…..it’s too late sorry.
      It’s freaking not about testing for God’s sake,sex is a natural instinct.
      How can a 30something yrs old lady be telling me no sex before marriage?What shall we be doing then?

    • D

      May 16, 2015 at 3:58 pm

      Hold hands and share the lords prayer.hahaha

  38. solemn

    May 15, 2015 at 4:04 pm

    Ours is a world, when you do the right thing you are Fake. When you do the wrong thing, you are Real, honest , bla bla bla.
    The ‘logical lies’ you tell yourselves : how convenient.. Keep basking in it. It makes sense doesn’t it?
    The truth will never change. Shield it, twist it, reject it, if you want. Sex before marriage remains wrong.

  39. belema

    May 15, 2015 at 4:11 pm

    guys need your advice.
    Am 24 Started seeing this guy recently. The other day we were fooling around and we almost had sex. his condom broke and he ejaculated near my vagina. I Was so pissed at him and at the same time scared cuz I was under no other protection, the condom was the only barrier and it failed. Even though there is little or no chance of getting pregnant I went and got the morning after pill. Before I got the pill I told the guy and he said I shouldn’t and that he will be very angry if I did. However I got the pill regardless. He later got to find out cuz I was experiencing side effects of the pill, dizziness and slight vomiting, He was so angry saying that I went behind his back and that I never listen to him. Meanwhile I did it cuz I was so scared. I tried to explain this to him and he was like that I should trust him blah blah. Right now I really don’t trust him cuz of the way he handled the issue. It is his responsibility to ensure that the condom is intact and I shouldn’t be the one to blame for protecting myself and my future…. Abeg, I don’t want premature pregnancy especially wiv someone am not sure of……..This has put a strain on our relationship so far…

    • td

      May 15, 2015 at 9:23 pm

      So what advice should we give you? You almost had sex and the condom tore? Almost had sex or you had sex?
      What exactly do you want us to tell you really? That you should realise the guy has no right to refuse you protecting yourself?
      Or why should this even be an issue?
      This your story sha.
      Lemme carry my self and go.

    • moluwa

      May 17, 2015 at 3:11 pm

      U r foolish!!!!!…u ain’t sure of ur future yet u treat him like ur husband,opening ur legs up nd down,mtcheww!!!!wat shud we now give u as advise….to go nd pray dt wat he ejaculate may be removd frm u vagina,…..ewww!!!!!

  40. Missy

    May 15, 2015 at 4:18 pm

    I personally do not support and did not engage in sex before marriage but that did not keep me from being conscious of the fact that some people are wicked and will knowingly truncate your sexual future if you don’t watch closely. “My friend” ended her previous engagement to one fine and spiritual bros. One of the major reasons was that she couldn’t foresee a healthy sexual relationship between them after marriage. Bros would never attempt to get close or cuddly. He never exhibited any sign of physical or sexual attraction and he firmly resisted any playful touch. All the warning signs were up and sister virgin didn’t want to stay that way forever. She’s happily married now to someone else. They didn’t have sex before marriage but at least, the sex was foreseeable. It’s hard to conceal the presence of chemistry; and your clothes don’t even have to come off first. Test with caution but do not drive.

    • Seun Akinlosotu

      Seun Akinlosotu

      May 15, 2015 at 9:13 pm

      You couldn’t have given a better synopsis!!!!! Well done.

  41. Ruth Dulac

    May 15, 2015 at 4:26 pm

    I couldn’t stop laughing. Well said. I had a great read.

  42. Ruth Dulac

    May 15, 2015 at 4:27 pm

    Test drive if you must but be careful so you don’t crash.

    ruthdulacblog.com

  43. Ada Nnewi

    May 15, 2015 at 4:28 pm

    LMAO!!!!

  44. Ibinabo

    May 15, 2015 at 4:52 pm

    lol @ the comments. In my opinion, although sex is important there is more to a marriage than it. I am in the medical field so I can tell you that a lot of sexual health problems develop with age. A ‘macho’ man today may have trouble getting ‘it’ up in a few years. Me and the bobo are abstaining, although it has been a very difficult road for us but God has been our strength. I know his ‘engine’ is working due to one time it nearly went down (see temptation!) but anyway I had made up my mind from the beginning that even if the ‘engine’ wasn’t working properly I will manage because I cant imagine life with someone else. Like someone once said “sex is not food” and besides there are sex toys these days…

    • Seun Akinlosotu

      Seun Akinlosotu

      May 15, 2015 at 5:27 pm

      Loll… oya wait now, so if the engine were to not work at all, not partial oo, as in it doesn’t start period – would you still go into it? My thing is about honesty & transparency, the guy should own up jejely before marriage so the woman can make an informed decision to continue with him or not. Personally, if my man had an issue in that area, partial or darn dead, but he is a fantastic person & we love each other to bits, I would still marry him & never for once make him feel inadequate.. But mehnnn if he knowingly leads me into marriage while withholding such information, arrrgh….that speaks volumes of his character & that’s almost unforgivable. It is then that Fuji House of Commotion’s Peaceful Peace will surface & serve him live cockroaches for dinner every night.

  45. Que

    May 15, 2015 at 4:55 pm

    Died laughing at ‘…God of libidos’…. where and how do u guys come up withvthese things!!!!! Lmao!

    InThe meantime, the next article should be ‘how much testing is too much testing!’ This debate is scary…. d spirit wants to obey God fully, the flesh is worried about eternal sexual damnation while here on this earth…. its a tiring subject. God should have just reserved libidos and sexual hunger for people till they get married…..that way there’d be no confusion.

    Lastly people need to get over caalling others ‘pretenders’ ‘hypocrites’ for saying they dont test drive….. whats it to u? Submit your own experience/opinion and free d matter… when they ask to borrow your driving tool, den feel free to go all in.

    • Seun Akinlosotu

      Seun Akinlosotu

      May 15, 2015 at 5:21 pm

      Lolll @ how much testing. That might be a little too x-rated for everyone….

  46. Lonely Girl

    May 15, 2015 at 4:58 pm

    Hmmm really don’t believe in testing right now. I know I can wake a dead mans middle leg. so far he is faithful really. I once dated a guy who couldn’t do 2 mins and i ran. This dude gave me peace of mind as I never lack anything. infact dude went to get me a dildo so while he was on drugs. I felt that was stupid and left him. Met a brother(Wolve) who can do the do and even without a cd. What did I get? A heart break with the fool taking my money.

    Unfortunately couldn’t go back to my 2 mins guy as he is married now and guess what, learnt he goes for 20 ins now.

    In conclusion, sex is important but whats the use of an actively sexual man who sleeps with everyone?

    • D

      May 16, 2015 at 4:08 pm

      Sounds like my story but without the dildo and my 1min guy get hard on and spill all over the place without entering the 2nd guy wud screw air so far it has a hole and am semi to marry with my current hallelujah peace atlast.

  47. Bayowilson

    May 15, 2015 at 5:26 pm

    Those who are asking you to “test the engine” wants you to end up “driving it”. Kissing, smooching, and all foreplays with someone you are yet to be married to is abomination unto God both in Christianity and Islam. No two interpretations to immorality. Every immoral act is a sin to God.

  48. Abena

    May 15, 2015 at 5:38 pm

    Lots of people being misled here…I bet lots of these call themselves “Christians”.Please dont deceive yourself,God is not to be mocked.What is testing?eeiii Christians! As used in the Bible, “sexual immorality” (Greek, por·neiʹa) applies to illicit sexual relations outside of Scriptural marriage. It includes adultery, prostitution, and sex relations between unmarried individuals, as well as oral and anal sex and the sexual manipulation of the genitals of an individual to whom one is not married. It also includes such acts between individuals of the same sex as well as bestiality. *

    The Scriptures are very clear: Those who practice sexual immorality cannot remain in the Christian congregation and will not receive everlasting life. (1 Corinthians 6:9; Revelation 22:15) What is more, even now they bring much harm to themselves in the form of a loss of trust and self-respect, marital discord, a guilty conscience, unwanted pregnancies, disease, and even death. (Read Galatians 6:7, 8.) Why start down a path that is littered with so much misery? Sadly, many do not think that far ahead when they take the first wrong step—of so called testing.IT IS WRONG!

  49. Nigerians!!!!!!

    May 15, 2015 at 6:02 pm

    As with every new and used cars you want to buy,you can test drive but …..NO GET ACCIDENT……except you have comprehensive and life insurances whatever that may be in this regard. ……LWKMD… You guys crack me up. Thanks for the laughs.

  50. tlo

    May 15, 2015 at 7:08 pm

    Iyke, I know you are having a hard time. Perhaps, guilt and feeling intimidated.
    No, she isn’t superhuman. It is very NORMAL AND POSSIBLE to abstain.
    No need taunting her because of your inferiority.
    Deal with your concerns and respect her convictions.

  51. Olubunmi

    May 15, 2015 at 8:36 pm

    Test Driving Things uh? A smart woman knows how test o! Brushing and all.

  52. Dee-USA

    May 15, 2015 at 9:40 pm

    I must be deviating, but my curiosity has me wondering if Annulment exists in Naija. Cos one of the situations that would warrant annulment in the U.S. is deception. So you can have the marriage annulled legally, which means it never existed. Of cos it doesn’t change any sexual encounter. But at least you regain your freedom abi?

    • kay

      May 18, 2015 at 5:35 pm

      Annulment does not exist in Nigeria and for a marriage to be annulled, in an ideal situation the parties involved haven’t consummated the kini so yeah it cannot even work in Nigeria.

  53. daiva

    May 15, 2015 at 10:16 pm

    Okay not to be a hypocrite but aren’t we supposed to be strengthening each oda to abstain, haba someone wud tell u test ,not cause u cant avoid the temptation but for d future, I guess u don’t trust in God. It’s not easy to not av sex b4 marriage but to start calling fornication testing, it’s anoda issue… I really want to say no to sex, am already doing it (saying no). God.says no sex and if u want to pls him at least try. Don’t join the world. If God cures cancer and deadly illness do u think he can give u something you can’t handle #mytwocent

  54. Tosin

    May 16, 2015 at 7:41 am

    everybody needs to chill.

    testing not driving was a funny line, lol.

  55. owal

    May 16, 2015 at 10:53 am

    This test driving is the writers opinion of the way forward to a happy marriage. Why are we comparing his option with biblical truth. Why is it targeted at Christians. The word of God to His children and I repeat His children is so clear. Those that would break the edge before marriage all because of fear of a happy sex life will have many sapents to contend with. Why should we compair a car to our bodies. You can afford to change the car and even start with the bad one which your money can afford for that moment hoping to buy another, but can you change your destiny. How many sex maniac have a good home come to think of it, If you are week and can not help but fall for a man’s advances, no one is condemning you hear, repent and ask for grace and mercy. Don’t make it a habit or an excuse in your choice of life partner as a child of God. If the daughters of men take that part, good for them. The text driving option should not be a point of discus for children of God, don’t even give it a thought. There is a way THAT SEEMETH right unto a man but the end there off is destruction.

  56. Nedu

    May 16, 2015 at 11:40 am

    Hmmmm. . . . . .even those who can’t go a week without jam body are talking about not test and driving? But wait oo, u want to test but won’t drive? Just how? But not test at all. A car needs to components to work well, the engine and the gear. If u rev the engine and it healthy, but the gear won’t engage, your engine dey useless oo. And there is no way to see if the gear works and are in sync with the engine without driving. So if u just test, that’s just half of the process. But like it is said, you can’t test without driving if u want to fully determine the workability of that motor. But biko, if you never do before, don’t test, don’t drive

  57. blacknubia

    May 16, 2015 at 10:27 pm

    To each its own. If u like have pre marital sex, or not. Its your choice, and we live with the choices we make. But I also think its advisable to test to see if there is arousal or not.

  58. Don't bother

    May 17, 2015 at 5:15 am

    Always note a marriage based on such deceit is as good as non existence. If you have fallen prey to such, then be assured you are still single. It’s difficult to test and not drive o. But as a man, how do u test a woman that has removed her ovaries or doesn’t even have a vagina, it looks like it’s there but the entrance is actually closed. God help us o.

  59. one nailing

    May 17, 2015 at 3:43 pm

    nail her mercilessly before you put the ring in her finger in fact impregnate her to be sure she can give you a baby not smiling

  60. Pawpaw & Mango Blog

    May 18, 2015 at 6:38 am

    Great read and very true. There are women who marry paralysed men who can’t get it up and they know before hand the true state of affairs, the emphasis I think is in knowing before hand so one can make an informed decision abi?
    It’s not the inability to ‘do it’ but rather the deception that’ll have me seeking annulment on grounds of non consummation.

    • Seun Akinlosotu

      Seun Akinlosotu

      May 18, 2015 at 4:36 pm

      Exactly! It’s about knowing before hand so you make an informed decision.! I love your name btw….Pawpaw & Mango

  61. masterpiece

    May 19, 2015 at 9:51 pm

    Well I tried checking if my bf was sexually sound. We were together one evening and I asked him to kiss my neck. He started sucking it and mehnn it sent me places. We had agreed on no sex b4 marriage and sometime back I asked him how he felt about the previous day and he told me his body was on fire. So, guys please I’m asking, is that a sign that he is ok? I asked him why I didn’t feel his erection and he said he was wearing pant, boxer before wearing jeans. Please advice me on what I should do

  62. madamAproko

    May 25, 2015 at 7:05 pm

    Close ur leg before Marriage..yes..but leave Me I go test and drive and go wonderland…well well..even if it’s once… den we go kneel down and pray for. forgiveness..my God is a forgiving God. Even if dis is not right I better do fucking sin dan lieing sin…afterall d bible said sin na sin..some ladies b4 and ova 30 are still virgins and are waiting for marriage b4 dem do. congrat. U try..but trust me even if dem dey sell d virginity for jumia for 1naira..i no buy. Some pple kip dem selve 4 wedding sex..but tell small small lies or have some nasty xter. May God help us all…me am not wise Oooo..am not saying u shldnt kip ur self for marriage. At least dat fornication we must commit am once…den repent again…Wot is testing and not driving? wot kind of rough play is dat.

  63. @speaksluv

    December 7, 2015 at 9:07 am

    I used to have this mindset “NO SEX BEFORE”,but now i know better.Had this distance relationship,for a year we were on and off, because whenever we fixed a date to see,that was when something disrupt it.. After a year we finally met,the guy had erection issue.Since we were already good friends,we just left it as that,actually i did.Sometimes,i wondered why he did that. It affected my relationships with the few men that i met after i discovered…
    As long as Testing Engine is concerned,It is a criteria,but for my own good health i don’t overdo it.

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