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William Ifeanyi Moore: Sexonomy

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I woke up this morning feeling a little bit over-stressed (this Lagos living has to be practice for hell), so instead of the introspective tone I normally write with, I have decided to let my hair down a bit (figuratively speaking). Sex…seemingly a free commodity with no regulations— of course not so free, if you are talking with a “working lady”, but you get the drift. However, on closer inspection, one starts to see that there is perhaps no sector of the relationship market more regulated than sex, and I will tell you why.

Contrary to the notion that slut shaming is an awful social crime rampantly committed by men all around the globe, and even worse in Nigeria where wearing a pair of short denim shorts can have you literally trolled on the street, I will argue that slut shamming is actually ultimately a woman on woman crime. To start with, when it really comes down to the ‘body count’ issue, who are these infantile men that even still ask such ridiculous questions?
I don’t think I’ve asked a girl how many men she has slept with since I was 18ish. It’s not exactly like she will tell you a figure she knows she will get judged for. Technically speaking, a woman could have been with 100 guys and even package herself like a virgin.

The funniest part is that the whole concept of a ‘hoe’ is even hardly ever about actually body count. Just look at Taylor Swift vs Miley Cyrus. We all know that girl who is recognized as the school bicycle because she has been with like 5 guys in her year; but there is that church girl that rolls with dudes from outside school, keeping her 50 count business out of the public eye. For the most part, the slut label comes with how a girl packages herself and how much of her story is known.

For men…well, sleeping around was once an evolutionary necessity for the survival of the specie. While our proneness to promiscuity is something to be guarded against today, it was once the reason we were even able to survive so long. We are yet to develop strong social views against this action. Women permit it and men encourage each other.

So why is slut shaming a woman a crime? Experiments actually showed in a study that provocatively dressed woman received more hostility from other women than men, even though the men still objectified them more. This makes sense, because sexual attraction is needed to make someone an object of desire. But never mind the fancy research. Think about your group of friends. As a guy, I can discuss my sexual conquest with the boys and the better (more promiscuous) I am, the more praise and envy I will earn. On the flip side, a girl is better of bragging about her one and only awesome boyfriend if she is looking to get any envy out of her friends. As you can imagine, envy is just what happens when someone has something you want.

The reason behind this behaviour is simple. In the sex economy, demand and supply has to be regulated to achieve social cohesion. If women were willing to have sex as rampantly as men, it would mean I could go out every night knowing I could get laid with almost any girl. Simply put, there would never been an incentive to settle down, and all the extra perks women get for having a vagina will be out the window. Think about how many times you’ve heard a woman say ‘it’s all these women sleeping with men after one drink that makes them think we are all like that’, or something to that effect. For men, you don’t even need to buy us water and we don’t mind you thinking that we are all like that.

So for women to rope us in, they need to do to vaginas, what diamond merchants do to the precious stone. There are more women than men, but somehow vaginas seem to be a lot more scarce on the market than a penis. This is because the limitation of the supply positively affects the value of a commodity by causing price inflation. This is why most of the world’s diamond is locked away to avoid the market getting flooded. A more relatable example can be seen in the fuel scarcity where people will queue up or pay a premium price on the black-market. Women have to hoard sex from men to have any sort of bargaining power in the relationship market, or men will take too much of our time with it. And women have to persecute other women for breaking this unspoken rule, just as men moan about guys that pay too much. You must have heard a friend say something like ‘it’s all these politicians buying iPhone 6 and Dubai tickets that are ruining our market’.

So there you have it! Now you know who is really policing sexual activity out here. Of course men discriminate against sexually permissive women when it comes to forming relationships, but that has more to do with protecting their reputation and tending to an insecurity that the woman can easily stray from him, than perceiving her as a threat to his own sexual economy. Women on the other hand discriminate against sexually permissive women because they are viewed as market spoilers selling below the agreed market price and hence ruining business for everyone.
P.S Have a nice week…and if you can’t be good, please, be safe.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Wavebreakmedia Ltd

William Ifeanyi Moore is an MPharm graduate from the University of Portsmouth, UK. His true passion is in novels and poetry but he cheats on them with movies, plays, and music. He believes sacrifice and compromise is the bedrock of any healthy relationship. His debut novel Lonely Roads is out on 10/12/2015. Blog: www.soulsyrup.space Twitter: @willifmoore Instagram: willifmoore

29 Comments

  1. Great Lady

    July 21, 2015 at 9:56 pm

    I USUALLY LOOK FORWARD TO WILLIAM ‘S ARTICLES, BUT THIS DIDN’T DO IT FOR ME.

  2. ipredict thisarticlewillhavecommentslikesand

    July 21, 2015 at 10:25 pm

    i repeat! i predict this article will have comments like no man’s business..just because you people love any topic concerning sex,man,woman,relationsip,marriage,sex sex and more sex. look at all of you sex maniacs as if they used it to do you..kilode!
    but iro(na lie) if its anything relating to anything intellectual ,we can barely see 2 comments on board .i’m ready to take anything thrown at me cos i know already i’ve hit a nerve on some guilty ones and i dont curr!

    • Oki

      July 22, 2015 at 12:55 am

      Gbam on d intellectual aspect. Sex, boyfriend / girl friend relationship and gossips sells these days. There is this article on diet and exercise that BN features with a female fitness trainner, you will hardly see people comment or engage on that article but if it has to do with lagbaja snatching Azuka from Ekiate u will see many comments

  3. OmoEko

    July 21, 2015 at 10:26 pm

    ” For men…well, sleeping around was once an evolutionary necessity for the survival of the specie. While our proneness to promiscuity is something to be guarded against today, it was once the reason we were even able to survive so long. We are yet to develop strong social views against this action” What I understand from this is that men are grossly irresponsible and cannot survive without been irresponsible” :).

    • tomnmenace

      July 22, 2015 at 4:22 pm

      hahahahahahaha!!!

  4. Bolu

    July 21, 2015 at 10:57 pm

    I think u are an amazing writer and I would read whatever u write beacause of how u capture your reader, I was just wondering if we would ever get a different topic other than sex, female/male relationship.

  5. Swizzey

    July 21, 2015 at 11:08 pm

    Since he went economics 101 about sex..He forgot to factor in the dildos, vibrators,and most importantly..the soap and baby oil, and how its affecting demand and supply.

  6. Kili

    July 22, 2015 at 12:06 am

    Men have millions of sperm. Women have only one egg per month plus the problem of unwanted pregnancy.

    • Nanya

      July 22, 2015 at 10:15 am

      yeah he didn’t factor all that……maybe if guys got preggy or were more prone to STDs and other results of being sexually permissive, then maybe…. Nice one though

  7. Thatgidigirl

    July 22, 2015 at 12:59 am

    Your articles are usually witty, but this!….my brain cells almost went into a coma from reading this. Maybe you have said everything that needs to be said about men and women, consider other topics like the rising cost of tomatoes and how it affects iya basira or Lagos traffic….or something.

  8. Tosin

    July 22, 2015 at 4:44 am

    i really learned something here.

    • Ada Nnewi

      July 22, 2015 at 7:00 am

      Me 2

  9. kaycee

    July 22, 2015 at 7:38 am

    You said it all…that just shows how irresponsible and inconsiderate men are but anyway a man will always be a man..

  10. Girlbeingreal

    July 22, 2015 at 8:36 am

    Emm… Did I miss your point? You know the points you made in your article changes from location to location. So when it’s looked at from a world view it seizes to make much sense. Society condition people on how to think, act but some people can break away from that. Hell! You can go on a freaking Sexcapade if that’s what you want. As long as you claim responsibility and accept consequences. We want what we want!

  11. J

    July 22, 2015 at 9:50 am

    To start with, when it really comes down to the ‘body count’ issue, who are these infantile men that even still ask such ridiculous questions? Coughs my husband….
    lol at School bicycle

  12. mgtss.blogspot.com

    July 22, 2015 at 11:19 am

    I think this is an interesting article, it has made me look at certain things a little differently as a woman… however i get the feeling the author wrote it hurriedly or perhaps was trying to keep it as short as possible…there’s so much more that could have been said, emphasized, and explained better.

  13. Ms Rere

    July 22, 2015 at 11:53 am

    I dozed three times whilst reading your article. It was so boring. You can take a cue from Isio

    • Tari

      July 22, 2015 at 8:33 pm

      Isio is overrated.

  14. 2015

    July 22, 2015 at 2:13 pm

    I’m sure you had something to say but i’m also sure your delivery wasn’t the best. Next time you’re writing an article about women and what to or what not to do with their own vaginas remember that the vagina is a part of the female body and the brain is too. It’s 2015 and a lot of people have been trying to move away from this kind of thinking that objectifies women, please don’t drag us back.

    • Tari

      July 22, 2015 at 8:37 pm

      But no one objectifies women more than BN.
      Or is it a crime men are not allowed to commit?

  15. ogeAdiro

    July 22, 2015 at 3:13 pm

    I enjoyed it. I like when people point out the obvious, that’s not so obvious.

  16. vee

    July 22, 2015 at 5:31 pm

    For once I dint enjoy Mr Moore ‘s article. I dint even understand the point he was making, couldn’t finish. I think B. N feature writers are no longer as catchy as before

  17. Theurbanegirl

    July 22, 2015 at 6:41 pm

    Omg why is there so much hate on here? William loved reading this one again. Looking forward to next week!

  18. sherri

    July 22, 2015 at 10:23 pm

    WOW!
    You are on the money! chop knuckles jor!
    I am quite disturbed to see very few females seeing the point.
    YES! Females are the gatekeepers of the supply, value and market rate of the vagina.
    I have this theory in my head of how the words whore, bitch and slut and the likes came into male’s lingua.
    that’s probably what the first female who was cheated on called the female her man cheated with. (for all I know, he could just be lusting after her o )

    please think about it hard (well well)
    I cringe every time I hear a female whether in a Nigeria movie or real life exclaim: “my life is ruined/over” (aye mi ti baje!,) after being sexually defrauded.

  19. sassymsethni

    July 24, 2015 at 3:27 pm

    Hilarious but quite true…

  20. Elmo

    October 23, 2015 at 11:53 am

    First off this was very disgraceful to read. Just a flipping disgrace. So incoherent. So chauvinistic. So trapped in an archaic mindset. Backed with statements that are completely fact less. Men are promiscuous for continuity sake?! What? You really think me putting out will affect someone’s attraction to the next woman or how their dynamic plays out. Humans are to complex for this you primordial way of thinking. But uh I’m just going to assume you woke up, had a deadline to meet and so started spraying bs…

  21. Teris

    December 15, 2015 at 11:05 am

    “…on closer inspection, one starts to see that there is perhaps no sector of the relationship market more regulated than sex, and I will tell you why…”

    LOLLLL! Can’t get past this!!!

  22. Teris

    December 15, 2015 at 11:12 am

    “…So for women to rope us in, they need to do to vaginas, what diamond merchants do to the precious stone. There are more women than men, but somehow vaginas seem to be a lot more scarce on the market than a penis. …”

    oh my word! i don’t kno how i missed this article but this article is priceless!!!

  23. bankydd

    December 16, 2015 at 10:23 am

    Thumbs up williams for this great piece.. The fact that most people hate this article even makes me love it the more..you resonate with my point of view especially on slut shaming and hypocrisy in oiour society

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