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Busola Idowu: What Kind of Friend Are You? Let’s Check Out 6 Categories of Friendships

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dreamstime_l_52799774Today is World Friendship Day (or maybe not) and in honour of the day, I thought, “what better way to honour friendship than to appreciate the various sorts of ‘friends’ that abound”? Bear in mind that this list is not in any way exhaustive and in fact the categories are infinite.

The self-engrossed friend A.K.A selfish friend
This type of friend is actually very common although in different guises. S/he is that friend who believes she’s the very best thing after jollof rice. She’s so self-absorbed and cares only about her own life and any other thing that revolves around her. She has no qualms breaking off dates at the last minute even when she’s aware you have invested time and effort preparing for same. The best treatment for such friends is to lower your estimation of the friendship so that even when she does hurtful things, you are not so pained. Such friendships only stand the test of time if she has other good sides that outweigh the negatives. However, a friend who doesn’t listen to you or care about your feelings is as good as no friend at all in my opinion.

The frenemy A.K.A ota aje (enemy of progress)
Now this is a very complex friendship as it is often difficult to refer to someone who does not wish you well as a friend. However, life happens. She pretends to like you in your presence but the moment your back is turned, she proceeds to backbite, gossip and even tell outright lies just to discredit you among friends and family. She’s the potential boo-snatcher and you have to be careful not to share any intimate secrets with her as she will stop at nothing to break your relationships including making false statements about your fidelity and integrity. You might ask why she’s still being referred to as a friend, but such people are perfect chameleons who can effectively mask their true characters and still appear as good before you. God deliver us from such enemies masquerading as friends.

The intellectual A.K.A effiko
She is the Ms Smarty-pants. Very knowledgeable about everything political, current affairs, news and even sports. As a contestant on ‘Who wants to be a millionaire’, she is the first person you would think to call. She is also not shy about sharing information and is sometimes even overbearing with her input on issues. She’s a bookworm and it is often difficult to get her to socialise outside her comfort zone. It takes careful study to understand her and flow along to preserve the friendship.

The gist partner A.K.A talk-magnet
She’s addicted to talking but in a fun way. She’s very engaging and is usually the life of the party. There is never any dull moment with her as she has the ability to move over mountains and valleys of gist in just one breath. When you are feel sad or under the weather, just 10 minutes spent in her presence can make all the difference. The major negative is that her gist can easily slip into gossip and in a bid to appear more interesting; she might fabricate some stories along the way.

The mooch A.K.A borrow-genius friend
She can borrow just about anything. She never seems to have enough or anything for that matter. She’s always waiting for you to pay on ALL your outings, does not want anything until you make a move to buy it, she always needs ‘change’. She has devised very ingenious means of getting someone else to bear her costs and finds it difficult to part with a kobo of her own money on those few occasions you need help. To preserve this friendship, you might have to ‘form’ broke more often than not so as to prevent any build-up of resentment over time.

The one true friend A.K.A the best friend
She is your confidant, cry-partner, gist-mate, your ‘plus one’ most times and at short notice. You might have everything in common or not even so much but she is the first person you run to when there is any news to share. You might have been friends since kindergarten or met later in life but the bond is unmistakeable. She is not perfect, just as you are not too but you have somehow made the friendship work and stand the test of time.

From the above, I am pretty sure you can figure out if you have a true friend or if you are a true friend. So please share your experiences and if you can, what sort of friend you are. Happy Friendship Day!

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

18 Comments

  1. Bodunade

    June 17, 2016 at 4:41 pm

    Hilarious!! We are different things to different people whether we are aware or not.

    • Busola I

      June 18, 2016 at 9:58 am

      Thanks Bodunade! You are so right. Biko go back to that other post and complete the half-gist you started on the comments. Me I’m very interested along with half of the BN peeps 🙂

    • Bodunade

      June 18, 2016 at 6:54 pm

      Lool.. See trap. That is not my gist. I’m not aware.

  2. Angel Eze

    June 17, 2016 at 4:50 pm

    Hello! Nice blog, very classy and sophisticated. Please visit my blog and cull my blog prose series or other posts with credit given to me and my blog link added. Thanks and God bless you.
    -Angel Eze

  3. Asake

    June 17, 2016 at 5:13 pm

    I am a mix of 4.. depending on the person

    • Bodunade

      June 17, 2016 at 7:30 pm

      Bilqees lol…

  4. Livingstone

    June 17, 2016 at 5:43 pm

    Nice write Busola….I am thinking this is Busola Idowu I met at the Kingsley Bangwell’s Youngstsr Foundation youth development training in Abuja-Nigeria (January 2012). We were in the same discussion group on the second day of the training, kindly shoot me a mail ([email protected]) if this s you, it will be a pleasure to reconnect. Stay inspired!

    • Busola I

      June 17, 2016 at 8:59 pm

      Hi! Yes @youngstars but 2013. How’re you doing?

  5. mama

    June 17, 2016 at 5:50 pm

    I’m one those few that has real friends.I must study you before investing my heart to the relationship,though I must admit that sometimes I jump into the wagon but by and large,I love my friends though they are just few.

  6. Me

    June 17, 2016 at 6:32 pm

    I am very fond of bailing on outings in the last minute but that’s not because I’m selfish, I have very extroverted friends and it took me a while to figure out that I’m ridiculously introverted, to make it worst I’m a people pleaser so when you ask me to go out I would say yes and then as soon as the day approaches I’m just like na I can’t do this… May God help us

    • Jezebel

      June 17, 2016 at 8:04 pm

      @me: hilarious! You sound just like a younger me. With time I have realised I am firmly in the bad friend category. I have learnt enough about me to not care what people think about my behaviour and have become outrageous as a result (E.g my username)

      I bet I’ll be the time of grandmother that says things like “the best form of birth control is sticking a tablet of paracetamol between your thighs, just hold it in place and shake your head from left to right”.

      Oh well, I’m still pretty much a bad friend.

    • Spicy

      June 18, 2016 at 4:01 pm

      I like u…can we be friends? Lool (no joke)

  7. Same

    June 17, 2016 at 9:23 pm

    I guess most of my ‘friends’ will describe me as number 1, but that’s not because I’m selfish!. If I feel you want us to hang out just so you can gossip and squeeze info out of me about my personal life, I will bail! Being a people pleaser, I will say yes when you first invite me, but then later I will think to myself, ‘I don’t want to gossip etc’ and then I cancel. There are so few people out there who actually come into your life because they care etc.. Most are just frenemies, who want a front row seat in your life so they can destroy what they can. That’s been my experience anyway. I just don’t trust people. Simple.

  8. zora

    June 17, 2016 at 10:58 pm

    I’m both selfish, bookwormish and a true friend, it doesn’t entirely define me buh I’m a combo of all 3

  9. One true friend!!!

    June 18, 2016 at 12:52 am

    ….deffo no 6 and you can take it to the bank! Well except the last min plus one nonsense! Ain’t no one got time for that as we get older

    But!!!!! For some reason, my friends are not a 6 in return and probably to some extent take me for granted.

    I guess too much of everything is bad, we all need a balance

  10. Nunulicious

    June 18, 2016 at 1:22 am

    Interestingly, one of my dearest friends is a mooch aka borrow-borrow-never-pay-back type of friend! Me on the other hand I’m likely to be described by her as a self-engrossed-you-never-call-frequently-enough type of friend. Regardless, we’ve been friends for about 14 years now and have seen each other through breakups, relocations, success and failures.
    We’re not perfect but we’ve learnt to love each other perfectly.

  11. lid

    June 18, 2016 at 8:21 am

    I’m somewhere BTW Effiko and talkative

  12. Young Preacher

    June 18, 2016 at 11:11 am

    Interesting write up with some very funny A.K.As. Couldn’t stop smiling till I read the last word. May God deliver us from frenemies and the moochers. I hope and pray am that friend called best friend and intellectual friend…;-)

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