Bobosteke: Ma Belle

Ma Belle,

You must forgive this meddling woman for intruding once again in your life. But I have heard certain things that disturb this old soul and I cannot keep quiet any longer. I know you are busy and you say time is short. But, it is long enough for what I wish to say. Faire attention a moi.

Ma chou, what is your idea behind the meaning of life because that is what you live every day.

I see the videos they play on TV these days. Songs that show naked women, stacks of money and luxury. You say you just watch them that they don’t mean anything. But haven’t you noticed? Your language, your dressing and your expectations have changed. Maybe you might say you don’t really listen to the lyrics but that they make such danceable chanson. Ah, my beloved, the words you speak are two things: spirit and life. You don’t agree? D’accord.

You sing that you are sick, completely sick of love and all it does is make me remember how many times I have had to nurse your broken heart back to wholeness. You sing that you would give away your soul to hold him once again, and indeed your lifeless life is all I remember when he spurned you yet again and again. You sing that he is the key to your peace of mind, and indeed, all I recall, is how restless you become when you are, how do you say it? Booless?

If a man loves you, he will never ask, “If you really want my heart, prove to me that you want it”. A heart is always freely given. You will never have to prove anything because you already are worth it.

If the boy is yours, you will be still, and let him come to you. Never would have to tell anyone the boy is mine because, au contraire, ma chere, he would be doing all the telling.

You are more than your body. Chansons that praise your face, breasts, and derriere reduce you to viande de boucherie – butchers meat.

Life is tough for everyone, ma chou. Where do you get your strength to live with the love, sadness, joy, and loss that will come your way? I see so many Talk Shows and Reality programs. Ah, sweetest, if only you knew how grander we consider ourselves when the camera is on us. How do you take advice from people who do not even like themselves? What do people who are constantly under the knife, because they want your approval, have to offer? Do you get counselling from people who would say anything to get more ratings for their shows?

I would not wish you to quote a line from a movie you watched to your partner. For my darling, they only work in movies. In your life, there would be no director to yell Cut! and have a scene or line changed. For once spoken, your words will never go back.

Which reminds me, ma chou, I see that you stand in front of the mirror a lot. Is it that you forget what you look like every time you turn away from it? For surely, it cannot be the desire to indulge in self-lust as you turn this way and that to find points of admiration for yourself and from others. And I must believe it is not discontent as you lament the cups that do not run over or the cups that do overflow. Is it the hips that do not lie or the straight plain of a derriere that you lament? Now tell me, ma belle, what do you think makes a woman desirable? Where do you get your standard for beauty? I am not talking of the inner one, we have had more than enough of that. I mean the physical one. Ah oui, je vois… It’s back to those music videos you don’t really watch and those lyrics you say do not matter, no? It’s back to those glossy magazine covers where the models have been photoshopped to within an inch of their lives; perfect for camera but not for real life. Take it from someone who knows, ma puce, there would always be a prettier one; and a prettier one than the prettier one. How many would you compare yourself to before you have peace?

Your measurements were made precisely for you. Do not live your life in the shadow of your insecurities. Lord knows they could be so crippling. Sometimes you will be beautiful, sometimes you will not. What we would not be having is a life time of insanity of comparison to others. Ca ne vaut pas le coup; it is not worth it.

Many women refer to themselves as b*tches- cute. “Baddest b*tch that ever liveth”, I hear some say. I am not saying you are one of them, but I need you to know, just as my friend also said, that it only reveals to everyone that you have been deeply hurt at one time and that because of the pain you carry, you will continue to hurt anyone that reminds you of those moments when you let your guard down and were fooled. But what is some hurt in love if not for lessons? It is foolish to want to spend your whole lifetime as a wise person.

Now, who is that lady I hear you do not like? Why do you not like her? Why is she the one who comes to your mind as you dress up each day? Why do you imagine yourself strutting past her in your grand accessories to make sure she sees you? Have you thought about the silliness of wanting to be noticed by someone you do not like? Calmez-vous and really assess your thoughts.

Tell me something, ma chou, and be truthful, has she got something you want for yourself? If is it is good thing, learn it and be a better person. If it is for the lesser “er’s” (prettier, taller, smaller, bustier, better dresser, better car, more admirers), well, re-read four paragraphs up and come off it!

You must guard your heart with all diligence, for out of it flows the issues of life. For a woman who does not guard her mind is like a city broken down without walls.

Watch who you keep as friends. You do not have to be a man to keep your head when others are losing theirs. You can be a woman too.

Grow. Be all that you can be. Life is beautiful in every moment. Oui, even in the painful ones. May God give you the wisdom to see.

Je’taime, mon plus cher un. Always remember who you are.

Au’voir.

Photo Credit: Isaiahlove | Dreamstime.com