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Cisi Eze: Diary of a Hypocrite (II) – The Homophobe

Cisi Eze

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October 13, 2015

Dear Diary,

I don’t understand what is happening anymore. Ever since I let Udoka, my friend, come and share apartment with me, I have not been happy. If I had known, I would not have collected the rent money from him. But I needed money at the time, I had to collect it.

You won’t believe if I tell you that Big Mummy likes him so much. Any small thing, she will say, “Udoka is hardworking. He knows how to take care of the house and he can cook.” Imagine! Was she expecting me to take care of the house and cook? For crying aloud, I am a guy! All that cleaning and cooking is what babes should be doing, na. That is their department.

I don’t think she suspects that he is a gay. What kind of guy would be acting like a woman? Have you seen the way he does his hands when he is talking? He even walks like a babe. Tueh!

October 20, 2015

Dear Diary,

Our parish choir is to perform at the Archdiocesan Choir Competition! The event will be third Sunday of December. December 18th. You need to see me bubbling here. As the choir master, I have talked with others and we decided to have practice three times a week. We have also picked three songs we would sing, and “Hallelujah” will be there. But from the way I am looking at it, all the choirs will sing it together as encore.

I tried calling Emeke all day, but his line is not going through. I am getting worried about him. Let me assume he is busy with something. I love this guy, no homo. He is like a brother to me. If he was a girl, I would have married him. The guy makes sense.

(…)

December 10, 2015

Dear Diary,

I am very tired. I don’t have much to write, sef. Just that this irritating guy has started again.

Today, he washed Big Mummy’s car. She came and the fool saw her car was too dusty. Wait, is it not harmattan? Is the car not meant to be dusty normally? Big Mummy dashed him 5k for Christmas, o. Udoka is just kissing her ass. Of course, he is a homo – he knows how to kiss ass. I hate this guy, ehn!

Emeke came over today, we got talking, and he confirmed that Udoka is a gay. Abomination! What would make you sleep with another guy? I’m trying to understand these gays. Me and Emeke tried to watch gay porn, and it was so disgusting seeing two men doing it.

 (…)

December 19, 2015

Dear Diary,

Nna mehn! I had a blast yesterday. After the choir competition, one parishioner took us to have correct catfish pepper soup and peppered snails! Correct man! Even though we came fourth, it does not feel like that. See flexing! LOL!

The important thing is that I was able to hook up with one alto singer from another parish. This babe set! Her voice just dey trip me. And she is light-skinned on top of it. Women are too emotional and I don’t have emotions to give. But you know how these Naija babes are – they don’t like someone that will tell them the truth. Can you go and tell one babe that you only want sex? The babe will look at you as if you are a mad person. I just want to smash, abeg. Na to tell am say I’m in love. LOL! No be only love.

(…)

January 8, 2016

Dear Diary,

I have been flexing this holiday and I have not had time to write.

(…)

Do you remember that babe I told you about? That alto singer? Nna! I smashed her! She make sense die! You know how I prefer anal. When I asked her to try it with me, she was cool. As I did not have lube, I had to improvise with olive oil. Chei! And when she was calling my name in that her voice, I thought I was in heaven. They always say church babes are the ones that sabi work, and I have confirmed it. This babe can kill me if she wants, I no send. LOLOLOLOLOL!

 

January 30, 2016

Dear Diary

I had a bad dream. I was having sex with Udoka in the dream. You see how devil is working? This guy has to go! Imagine! I am having sex with him in my dream. These gays are everywhere! Very disgusting bunch of people…

 

P.S. How do people condemn one sin and condone another? How are they cool with fornication, yet get livid at homosexuality? Pardon the pun, but from the front, or from behind – sin is sin.

P.P.P.S. Internalised homophobia is real. People cope with their realities through different mechanisms. Gay people that are homophobic do this to remove attention from themselves. You do not have to sit through a psychology class to know this. They sublimate their desires for same-sex relationships into intense hatred, laced with envy, for people that are honest enough to live their truth. They don’t connect emotionally with people of the opposite sex; they wish their besties were of the opposite sex so they could get married; they guiltily end innocent sentences with “no homo”; and when they have sex, they commit sodomy… what are we ought to think? Sodomy is any sexual act against reproduction. Sodomy is oral and anal sex.

P.P.P.S The same Leviticus that is against same-sex relationship also has an issue with people eating catfish, snails, lobsters, and all that. (Leviticus 9: 11-12.) The sins of Sodom and Gomorrah are listed in Ezekiel 16: 49 – 50.

P.P.P.P.S. Some people state gay people are the reason God is angry, yet Germany, America, and Canada – countries that have legalised same-sex marriages – are flourishing. Our homophobic people keep running to these countries. Lets us not forget Nigeria is on the top three on the list of countries that watch gay porn the most.

P.P.P.P.P.S. What kind of person does it make you when you go on to attack people that are not attacking you?

 P.P.P.P.P.P.S. How do people claim to love God they have not seen, while hating other people that were made in the image and likeness of God? Do they love God or are they scared of hell?

 

Cisi Eze is a Lagos-based freelance journalist, writer, comic artist, and graphics designer. A media and justice fellow of the Bisi Alimi Foundation, she feels strongly about LGBT+ rights, feminism, gender issues, and mental health, and this is expressed through her works on Bella Naija and her blog – Shades of Cisi. Aside these, she has works on Kalahari Review, Holaafrica, Mounting the Moon, Gender IT, Outcast Magazine, Rustin Times, 14: An Anthology of Queer Art Volume 1 and 2, and Sweet Deluge (Issue 2). Cisi’s art challenges existing societal norms.

17 Comments

  1. mee

    July 25, 2017 at 9:58 pm

    This is nice, preach on!

  2. Zee

    July 26, 2017 at 12:49 am

    “Lets us not forget Nigeria is on the top three on the list of countries that watch gay porn the most.” that is a new one…really?

    • Anon

      July 26, 2017 at 8:17 am

      Not new at all. We’re also one of the largest users of a gay dating app. The gay community in lagos is large and bustling, and the richest members are masculine and very “normal” looking married men with the most beautiful wives

  3. Bokun

    July 26, 2017 at 1:19 am

    It’s a sin girl no matter how many analogies you want to use to prove otherwise. Lying fornicating all na sin. The fact that people do them doesn’t change the fact that it is all Sin. Be watchful of the antiques of Satan he is the same yesterday when he tempted eve to eat forbidden fruit as he is today tempting people to eat forbidden fruit just to achieve his aim of distancing man from his creator. His number one archetype – making you doubt God, making people question Gods intention and then encouraging/ luring rebellion. For eve it was God does not want you to be godlike, today it’s the blackmail of you are homophobic and therefore a social misconstrue, you are close minded and not hype, just be careful of the fruits you eat or encourage others to eat, and maybe instead of trying to belong begin to challenge, ask questions like why would God create something he specifically points out he hates? Does God make mistakes? Sin is sin we struggle to keep from sinning not accept it as normal, do not be deceived like Eve. If you are struggling with homosexual thoughts then struggle on fight it, do not accept it. You will kick it like a bad habit. Stay away from media/ people( agents of Satan) that encourages it as it Kryptonite to your struggle. One day when the devil sees you as a losing / lost battle he would move on from you. On that day you will ask yourself – and please pardon my French – What the Actually F was I thinking.

  4. LemmeRant

    July 26, 2017 at 1:43 am

    First off. No guy talks/writes like this.

    Second and most importantly: No guy THINKS like this.
    I could care less what Ebuka did or didn’t do. No be him hands he they take do am? How that one take “konsign” me.

    Its funny if you actually believe men go about thinking about what other men are doing (when theré’s money to be made)

  5. Iphee

    July 26, 2017 at 5:08 am

    There is no truly homosexual person – Think about it – Gay guys insert their penis into the anus (a pseudo virgina) while Lesbians use objects that are at best a pseudo penis ( dildo’s , vibrators fruits and vegetables) …. Why mimic the sexual parts of the opposite sex to truly derive pleasure?

    • Anon

      July 26, 2017 at 8:21 am

      Perhaps because there are only a few ways to have sex as all humans have the same sexual organs? And who told you anal/vaginal sex belongs to heterosexuals? I’m Christian but I have to
      Admit that the dumb stuff people say about gay people is getting too much. Nigerians please stop using dumb analogies. Say it’s a sin and leave it at that, bringing up a dumb analogy doesn’t make you sound less homophobic or make homosexuality seem less real.

    • Grace

      July 26, 2017 at 10:36 am

      That’s a new angle to it sha. To me, human beings just like pleasure.

      A possible reason for homophobia is the primal need to ensure survival of the species. Gayism endangers continuation of our species so our survival nature kicks against it.

      I’ll be worried about a guy who’s that bothered about his room mate though

    • Iphee

      July 26, 2017 at 12:15 pm

      Dear Anon, your write up is an indictment on your argument” if you have indeed looked at it critically as my comment is a factual observation. If you have a superior argument bring it on not every time insult ( calling people dumb) or tell people how they should think ” call it a sin”.
      God has asked me to judge not – so I judge not.
      Cheers & have a great day

  6. edie

    July 26, 2017 at 9:19 am

    A lady from USA once asked how far the liberals and homo friendly are willing to go, from pro gay to transgender, to now some kids saying they are neither male or female… the absurdity continues, remember Canada and co built their prosperity first on strong Christian beliefs and traditions, have we built anything before copying their derailment?
    the fact that a child has the urge to run rampant in the stores and buy everything do you say it is right or allow them get what anything they want?
    lets consider

  7. Anon

    July 26, 2017 at 9:44 am

    I . I was abused by my neighbors son when I was six. He touched me in pleasurable places. He made me feel dirty and pleasured at the same time. I grew up only getting sexual gratification from dirty things, it’s the only way I cum. I recieve counselling and my psychologist helped me reflect and analyse. I don’t know why I was chosen to be abused. I was angry at God for so long, and it made me accept homosexuality. The thing is each time I had a homosexual encounter I felt pleasured and dirty at the same time just like when I was a child. I attempted sucide and as part of my recovery was offered counselling sessions. That’s were it all came out. I can’t speak about others homosexuality but I wasn’t born homo it was unfortunate circumstance. I still struggle with it. I know it is a sin each time I fall I ask for forgiveness. My situation has drawn me closer to Christ. Christ came for sinners and I believe he loves me and understands my struggle. I will overcome. Like I said I don’t know why I was not protected from my abuser but maybe I can help others going through similar struggle.

  8. Fear God...

    July 26, 2017 at 10:16 am

    Cisi your stories are getting quite stale. It’s the same religion bashing, trying to portray ‘religious’ people as hypocrites and people with double standards, pitching fornication against homosexuality etc. We get it! there are hypocrites everywhere and yes one sin is just as bad as the other. Can we move on to the next narrative?

  9. Passingby

    July 26, 2017 at 10:31 am

    Cici please be mindful of what you use your platform to support. Do your research. God said NO. Who are you an agent off?

  10. Scary

    July 26, 2017 at 11:15 am

    Pls, i am not trying to derail the discussion, but what i intend asking is not unrelated. Apart from serious fasting and prayer, how does one identify a gay man i mean practical ways cos it seems they are so ”ubiquitous ” these days.
    I went for a prog in church and a lady wrote a note to the speaker on how to divorce her gay husband quietly without family members knowing the reason for the divorce cause she is ashamed of telling her godly parents she just discovered the husband she insisted she wanted to marry,and had married with children was gay. .A friend attended a Women prog last year and came back with a similar tale, in both cases, the writer of the note was told to see the pastorate. Recently, a family friend thought his years of hustling is about to pay off when one of the popular guys in the entertainment industry(married with 3children) took a fancy to his work and started acting as a mentor. This went on for a while,until the mentor started making subtle passes and after a while started coming on strong. My family friend fled . he is still traumatized till now, he is afraid when he hears ”mentor ”

  11. Me

    July 26, 2017 at 1:39 pm

    Anon 9.44 stay strong; you are known to God and He loves you dearly. Nigerians please say NO to pornography it destroys lives terribly.

  12. Blessedheart

    July 26, 2017 at 2:17 pm

    First of all, it is not only Leviticus that speaks against homosexuality.
    “That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved.”

    Romans 1:26-27
    https://www.bible.com/bible/116/ROM.1.26-27

    Yes, it is hypocritical to wallow in sin while judging others but sin is sin and should be corrected.
    I get tempted to say, “let people live their lives” but I realise that is not Christian of me. As a Christian, my goal should be basking in the kingdom of God here and in heaven; and taking as many people along with me, as I can.
    It is not love to see a friend living in sin and keep quiet, no matter the sin. Condemning them in your heart is also wrong.

    The first step is to preach Jesus to them then when they become believers they begin to learn what God wants and what He does not want. When you become a believer, your goal should be pleasing God in all you do. the good news is that it’s not by your power but you must surrender to him. You cannot surrender to sin and expect to have a relationship with God. God help us

  13. Big Mo

    July 26, 2017 at 3:11 pm

    Quite right that we shouldn’t condemn one sin e.g. homosexuality and keep mum on other ones e.g. fornication. On point P.P.P.S. however, the laws on certain types of food were not moral laws but ceremonial laws which distinguished Israel from the surrounding nations as God’s chosen people. Those ceremonial rules regarding certain types of food, dress and objects were hinting at the spiritual uncleanliness of human beings and the inability to come before God without some sort of purification. When Jesus died and the temple veil tore, all the ceremonial laws, cleanliness rules and the sacrificial system was done away with once and for all.. Now Jesus is the what makes us clean before God (and not refraining from certain types of food)
    Also, it should be noted that homosexuality is consistently condemned (as with other sins) both in the old and new testament.

    Reference: Thegospelcoalition website

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