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“People die in silence for the fear of being ridiculed” – Toke Makinwa tweets on #StopTheShameCulture

BellaNaija.com

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Media Personality and bestselling author Toke Makinwa took to her Twitter account early Wednesday morning to speak up against the culture of shaming women for failed marriages.

This came after a follower told her not to give a lady marriage advice. This statement didn’t sit too well with Toke as she replied asking why she wasn’t qualified.

See the first tweet:

See more tweets:

41 Comments

  1. tell em

    July 5, 2017 at 2:44 pm

    ngwa..first responders ..your food has landed…..lets go

    • Ottawa Queen

      July 5, 2017 at 5:54 pm

      Hoping this is just a rumour though. . .Has anyone else heard about Uche Jumbo’s husband’s alleged side chic? I’m told the pics are posted online wt them together seen around.

    • FasholasLover

      July 5, 2017 at 7:52 pm

      We are not going anywhere. Naija women especially, STOP THE SHAME CULTURE.

    • Fleur

      July 6, 2017 at 3:21 am

      Dear Nigerians, failure is the master professor. Failure in marriage means you have great Clarity about what absolutely does not work. Successful marriage means you have not found the poisoned arrow. this means ifyou are divorced, you have more to offer a troubled marriage then someone living in perfect harmony. its not how to make good that is the glue. its how to not break the clay pot that matters

  2. micah

    July 5, 2017 at 3:03 pm

    Please any update on physiotherapist lady who abused that kid??

  3. Lipstickalley

    July 5, 2017 at 3:13 pm

    Isnt that the #sokhloe hair weave that caused the fight between the hair selling thugs

    • dora the explorer

      July 5, 2017 at 8:55 pm

      yes!!!

  4. Old school

    July 5, 2017 at 3:21 pm

    I agree with Toke. Divorced women are discriminated against in our society especially by other women all because they had a failed marriage. I would like to believe that nobody goes into marriage with the mindset of divorce. Things happen, some couples are able to overcome while others aren’t so lucky. Let this culture of shaming a divorced woman stop! Being divorced does not make one a lesser human. I’m afraid we have a long way to go in this part of the world…smh.

  5. bolaji

    July 5, 2017 at 3:21 pm

    Toke still has a lot to learn after all this time its so sad,

    • OC

      July 5, 2017 at 3:59 pm

      I swear down bruh. I’m a super feminist and am all for women empowerment and all. Also I’m against domestic and emotional abuse. However she has clearly missed the point. She failed to identify the real lesson to learn. She has just proven that age is not maturity and experience is indeed not the best teacher. Sister, take a deep breadth and think. I mean think hard. Reflect. Retreat. You need it in your life and need to stop badly influencing women. And to think of the irony. I remember years back when you vehemently said that Linda Ikeji is a bad role model to women. Well even Cobhams or Helen Keller can say in a jiffy who, between the both of you is the bad influence. Biko, swerve woman. P.S; I agree with @HEAVENSECURITY in the first tweet, Toke Makinwa has no business giving anybody marriage advice or ANY advice whatsoever. Okay, maybe bleaching and social climbing advice.

  6. AceOfSpades

    July 5, 2017 at 3:21 pm

    Some men are in their 4th-5th marriage, have babies scattered around and we hail them?

    This is one of the things wrong with all of us. She just shamed men in their 4th marriages but she is advocating against shaming women. If you want to make a point, must you shame others to prove your point? Why can’t you just pass your message and go? Are there no women in such shoes and there are, we should not shame them because they are women but you can shame the men in such situations because they are men? Toke can disappoint sometimes sha.

    • Reppin

      July 5, 2017 at 3:37 pm

      I guess we see what we choose to see at the end of the day. All I perceived from that p
      was her calling out the double standards. I’m sure she hasn’t met a man in his 5th marriage before. I haven’t. Kamdan.

  7. remi

    July 5, 2017 at 3:37 pm

    Toke helped her marriage failed. She forcefully attached herself to the wrong man hoping that heaven would change. She has no business giving marriage advice …………

    • Bea

      July 5, 2017 at 4:13 pm

      @ Remi –

      First, I wonder how life is for you high up there in your lofty heights, arm chair philosopher ?. Just make sure when you fall, the trip down won’t be too bumpy for you. E pele ma/sir.

      Second, perhaps you didn’t read the book or what her story has been about- she admitted her fault in the breakdown of her marriage. She’s not carried on with her campaign as an innocent party in the breakdown of her marriage. She’s always said she made mistakes, and made the wrong choices. So you haven’t said anything ground breaking there, sorry.

      Third, so the fact that someone has experienced a failed marriage, like her or any other woman or man on this planet, shows that they should not give marriage advice? Or because it’s coming Toke and you just don’t like her? Careful now, your bias is showing through.

      I hope life for you is perfect in your squeaky clean little bubble you live in, whilst you sit there in your arm chair polishing your halo. The rest of us mere mortals have faults and make mistakes. The only difference is that she’s made hers publicly. Also whether or not she loves to court controversy, or bleaches or wears fake hair, or talks with a funny accent or any other reason that’s been given, its actually not a sensible reason to hate someone. You don’t have to like her, just respect her hustle. But then again, what do I know, I’m a mere mortal.

    • Bea

      July 5, 2017 at 5:16 pm

      @ remi-

      First, I wonder how life is for you high up there in your lofty heights, arm chair philosopher ?. Just make sure when you fall, the trip down won’t be too bumpy for you. E pele ma/sir.

      Second, perhaps you didn’t read the book or what her story has been about- she admitted her fault in the breakdown of her marriage. She’s not carried on with her campaign as an innocent party in the breakdown of her marriage. She’s always said she made mistakes, and made the wrong choices. So you haven’t said anything ground breaking there, sorry.

      Third, so the fact that someone has experienced a failed marriage, like her or any other woman or man on this planet, shows that they should not give marriage advice? Or because it’s coming Toke and you just don’t like her? Careful now, your bias is showing through.

      I hope life for you is perfect in your squeaky clean little bubble you live in, whilst you sit there in your arm chair polishing your halo. The rest of us mere mortals have faults and make mistakes. The only difference is that she’s made hers publicly. Also whether or not she loves to court controversy, or bleaches or wears fake hair, or talks with a funny accent or any other reason that’s been given, its actually not a sensible reason to hate someone. You don’t have to like her, just respect her hustle. But then again, what do I know, I’m a mere mortal.

    • nancy

      July 5, 2017 at 7:36 pm

      as if you are a saint yourself! she made a mistake and she is so successful… i bet you keep wishing to be like her. oh! the last time i checked, you begged her for money for your upkeep… #sorryass

    • Nahum

      July 6, 2017 at 7:17 am

      @remi, I have never read a more stupid comment. It is people like you that Toke was referring to. She contributed to the failure of her marriage by forcefully sticking to a man….are you crazy? So a woman is not allowed to love and hope for the best again. It has now become illegal for a woman to hope that one day the man she loves will love her back, abi? You are everything wrong with this country. So judgemental and willing to crucify another woman. May God help you.

  8. mr x

    July 5, 2017 at 3:59 pm

    I will never take this low self esteem girl seriously. I mean any girl born black and then chooses to bleach her skin is not worth listening to by any audience. Damn this has to be the lowest point in our generation.

    • Ema

      July 5, 2017 at 10:21 pm

      Any body who is so bothered about what another human choses to do with her skin is totally living an idle life.

      Its amazing how people totally preoccupy themselves with tokes bleaching.

  9. Tolu4show

    July 5, 2017 at 4:33 pm

    @Mr x I’m with u.
    Toke, I’d pray for you. Something is really wrong somewhere

    • nancy

      July 5, 2017 at 7:39 pm

      you better pray for yourself @tolu4show.

  10. peter

    July 5, 2017 at 4:37 pm

    Toke is giving advice when she foolishly stayed in a toxic relationship and was shinning teeth for camera advising women on how to keep their marriage/Rel while hers didnt work out..She has no business dishing out any advice whatsover maybe Bleaching and slaying advice sha..I will be eating Yam and egg this night ??..What of you??

    • Anonymous

      July 5, 2017 at 6:10 pm

      This “I am eating” was funny before, now it’s just beyond lame :/

    • nancy

      July 5, 2017 at 7:37 pm

      i will be praying to God to give you brain so you stop making silly comments

  11. igbaolobiorere

    July 5, 2017 at 4:48 pm

    Mate…..I’m going for Amatriciana and stepping down with Limoncello. What is cooking guys?

    • Ema

      July 5, 2017 at 10:24 pm

      *yawns*

  12. Babym

    July 5, 2017 at 4:51 pm

    I completely agree with Toke. As a matter of fact, experience is the best teacher. I personally think you have a wholleee lot to learn from ppl who have ‘failed’ at something. In most cases they know what went wrong and can advise u against doing the same. My Aunty always tells me – don’t make the same mistakes I did. She gives the best advise ever. I think it is extremely silly to think that it is only ppl in marriages or that have been in marriages for donkey years that can give advice. Heck one of the best marriage advisor and my go to confidant is my single friend. The babe is wise beyond her years. And sometimes common sense advice is common sense advice! It does not matter who it comes from.

  13. lollly

    July 5, 2017 at 4:55 pm

    Toke, if you get to read this, i’m only here to correct you
    ……we hail them and ‘absorb’ them of wrong..
    it is ‘Absolve”

  14. Xplorenollywood.com

    July 5, 2017 at 4:59 pm

    Wait, but even single ladies give marriage advise, why should hers be any different? That Toke’s gives advise doesnt mean one should take it hook, line and sinker! Listen, ponder and then do what your heart moves you to do. #mytwocents

  15. Bee

    July 5, 2017 at 5:03 pm

    jollof rice and fried chicken..

  16. Shalewa

    July 5, 2017 at 5:22 pm

    People hate Toke Sha! She can give advice nah why not. Experience is the best teacher and more so you can always get a second opinion. E free e jare

    • nancy

      July 5, 2017 at 7:37 pm

      my dear, i dont understand why!

  17. marlee

    July 5, 2017 at 5:36 pm

    can we just admit that Toke a a kick ass GAME CHANGER, else we wont be here commenting. if you don’t like her then mover over. we love her and appreciate her. at least she is seen and heard. not a ghost behind a computer screen, like a lot of us here. Boom i said it. and YOU know its true.

    • FasholasLover

      July 5, 2017 at 8:01 pm

      She is indeed a game changer. Baby girl be making news all year round/everyday. She is relevant which is the reason any post on her generate such a storm. You either like her or you don’t. With Toke, there is no in-between. She has done well for herself. This girl is going places.

  18. marlee

    July 5, 2017 at 5:37 pm

    Toke is a kick ass i mean

  19. Made

    July 5, 2017 at 5:51 pm

    Dear Toke,
    It’s absolve not absorb .

  20. Anonymous

    July 5, 2017 at 6:11 pm

    This “I am eating” was funny before, now it’s just beyond lame :/

  21. Missappleberry

    July 5, 2017 at 8:04 pm

    In as much as m not a fan of Toke, I must commend her on her strength. The girl doesn’t cower with all the hate rained on her. There is nothing Toke does that people don’t find something wrong to say about it. I don’t think I can function a day in her shoes. Take all the bags, shoes, hair, party and overseas hopping. I don’t want. I cherish my private life biko. I’m sure she has days where she’s broken after all the messy comments posted about her. I may be wrong though. Dunno. Or maybe she’s not human. Sending u bear hugs Toke for all the hurtful comments u receive each day…

  22. Letty

    July 6, 2017 at 4:59 am

    Sh likes the negative comments because they show she’s getting the attention she craves..

  23. Nahum

    July 6, 2017 at 7:20 am

    Toke, abeg give all the marriage advice you want to girl, the wise women will listen and the foolish ones will judge. Don’t let your experiences define you, you are smart and awesome. Abeg carry go!

  24. Mahka

    July 6, 2017 at 11:28 am

    She has every right to dish relationship advice; I have the right to not listen to her. Everything is not for everyone…

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