“Spend time with people/doing things that make you happy so that you can be happy” (paraphrase) is a popular line that many of us might have, at one point or the another told someone. While that line is true to some extent, in certain cases it may not be.
Family is one of the most important values of my life and my family makes me happy, but sometimes, being with them does not bring the happiness I desire. It’s very simple, there is an inner sadness/stress at work in me, simply because of something I’m worried about, or because something happened externally. And until things change, even family may not bring happiness to me. As a matter of fact, family, at that point may bring irritation.
“Choose to be happy” is a truer line. Happiness, just like love, is not just a feeling, but a decision.
Having spoken to many married people, one thing stands out: at some point, the feeling of love may not be able to sustain the relationship; that is when the decision to love steps in. This is also the same reason why relationship experts advise that the love be rekindled every now and then with vacations, date-nights and sex.
The truth is, when you are sad, no matter the fun activity you engage in, happiness will elude you until you find the happiness within and let it grow.
It’s just like the economics principle that opines that human wants are insatiable; once you begin to savour the idea that happiness is something to be pursued, no matter how much of it you get, you’ll never be satisfied.
Destination addiction is the preoccupation with the idea that happiness is somewhere else. If you live your life in pursuit of happiness, that is all you’ll ever do.
Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.
Enjoy the day, and not just try to get through the day. Make plans for the future, but do not let those plans bring you so much worry that you no longer enjoy the present.
Is there a problem? Look for a way to solve it. If you can’t, find out who can and seek help. Sometimes, you may not be in control of an expected outcome. Just leave it, since you have made your input. Are you still stressed after this? Replace the stressful thought by engaging in another activity that brings its own (positive) thoughts to you.
Nature abhors a vacuum, so the only way to stop something (especially in our minds), is to replace it with something else. This is not easy, but it is not impossible neither.
Hey, this doesn’t mean you will never be sad or you should be sad because you are sad sometimes, it just means your happiness is in your hands (figurative).