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BN Confession Box: I Lied About Having a Bachelor’s Degree & All I Have is SSCE

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Hi guys, BN Confession Box is a feature on BellaNaija – curated by Nkem Ndem.

The Confession Box is our virtual confessor’s box where BellaNaijarians can let loose and say their deepest and rawest fears.
These letters are from you, and we’ll ensure that your identity is protected. Everybody needs some form of outlet or the other.

**

Lying is something I never want to do; but with the things I have seen and heard, you cannot tell the truth all the time and get what you really want in life. Why am I saying all of this? I just got a proposal from the man of my dreams. This is only because he believes I am up to his standard…which to God who made me, I am not.

He believes that I have a first degree in Unilag and I did a fashion and design course in Italy afterward …but it is a huge lie. My highest qualification is SSCE.

How did this lie start? I found him on IG and he looked classy, so I sent him a message. I didn’t imagine he would respond, but he did, and we started to get to know each other. I didn’t want to fall my hand, so I packaged myself very well and told him a lot of lies. He studied in the UK, 1st and 2nd degree and is from a wealthy home. To be honest, I did not imagine we would become this serious. I mean, on a normal day, where will our paths ever have crossed? We do not have the same circles.

My father died when I was 12 and my mother could only succeed to help me up to S.S.3. I came to Lagos after to live with a family friend and from there I started hustling. I always had the mind to enter university, but it just never clicked, something always came up. Luckily, as a brilliant girl, I speak very good English with a British accent even, when I feel like I need to.  I have my own business, I am a fashion designer and stylist, also I have my own car.

I am happy we have reached this stage, but I can’t help the fear that he will find out I lied about a lot of things and dump me. The good thing is that his parents have died so, there will not be too much investigation…but what if he  asks for my certificate? One thing he always says is: I love you because you are so intelligent. I lied to him that I graduated with a first class in Accounting, but went into fashion because I have a passion for it. I have come too far to lose him. I don’t think I need to tell him any truth until after the wedding. If he truly loves me, should it make a difference if I went to uni or not?

Photo Credit: Robert Byron | Dreamstime.com

31 Comments

  1. Delta geh

    March 18, 2018 at 10:14 pm

    Come clean on your own. Better to do it yourself than let him find out cos that’ll just create deep distrust for you. He may be angry for a while but if he loves you, he should come back. I don’t think education level is something that should be a deal breaker for someone who loves you.

    • Lilo

      March 19, 2018 at 3:18 pm

      Life is indeed a pot of beans sha. The truthful ones with legit degree can’t get a call back let alone a marriage proposal. But here is this one with lies upon lies….

    • LemmeRant

      March 19, 2018 at 5:22 pm

      “He may be angry for a while but if he loves you, he should come back.”

      Women and their emotional blackmail. Unfortunately some men still fall for this kind of crap.

      “I don’t think education level is something that should be a deal breaker for someone”

      Who are you to define what a deal breaker should be for another person in a relationship.

      Y’all stay imposing your beliefs on other people’s relationships.

  2. Ephi

    March 18, 2018 at 10:27 pm

    The issue is not whether you went to uni or not, the issue is building your marriage on a foundation of lies. How does he know what is true and what is a lie in other matters you both have discussed? As Delta geh already said, come clean on your own in order to give you both the chance to start afresh. I am not sure he would ever trust you again if he discovers himself or you wait till after the marriage.

    And going forward, my advice is keep away from lying, be yourself and be proud of what you have achieved regardless of your background. Being from a wealthy family does not make one person better than the other.

    ***The good thing is that his parents have died*** — this statement just sounds wrong!!!

  3. yinka

    March 18, 2018 at 10:30 pm

    “If he truly loves me, should it make a difference if I went to uni or not?”.imagine Like it won’t make a difference if you found out, he is not that rich or he as only primary school leaving. certificate.

  4. lanre

    March 18, 2018 at 10:33 pm

    not really,but intentionally fabricating
    a lie makes all the difference

  5. slice

    March 18, 2018 at 10:44 pm

    If it was Naija of before you can get away with this hide and seek. But these days , with all the monitoring spirits, forget it my sister . The lIe can’t wrk. Just sit him down and show him this. Maybe he even knows already. Lying to get a man is one thing

    • slice

      March 18, 2018 at 10:45 pm

      Lying to get a man is one thing. Not confessing before marriage,u dondig your grave be day

  6. ope

    March 18, 2018 at 10:46 pm

    not really,but intentionally fabricating a lie makes all the difference

  7. yinka

    March 18, 2018 at 10:53 pm

    not really but intentionally fabricating a lie makes all the difference.On a second note,why do lie or keep things they know u will not like then they will now tell u after marriage?,it”s very annoying and manipulative like they feel u are trapped and there is nothing u can do about it.Very dishonest behaviour

  8. Summer

    March 18, 2018 at 11:36 pm

    Confess all your lies oh. Why would you want to deceive someone into marrying you? Trust me, things like this always come to light. Let him choose you – all of you.

  9. John

    March 19, 2018 at 12:11 am

    **The good thing is that his parents have died*** This part pissed me off …what is wrong with you …I hope he learns the truth about you and runs away from you…actually, flee from you..You are evil. .it is your type that will give him children that doesn’t belong to him…and funny enough your type shouts “men are scum” the highest. God forbid bad thing. .spits

    And another thing..as for the truth..he will know ..It is just a matter of time ..knowing how you women really really behave ( forget all this online gra gra you all do)…..don’t be surprised if it is actually one of your “so called” sisterhood bestie that will leak it to him.

    • smh

      March 20, 2018 at 5:38 am

      i was with you till you went to the sisterhood bestie matter. you are truly sick and disturbed mahn. get help, weakling

    • Jade

      March 20, 2018 at 11:49 pm

      One of the few times i will agree with you. I hope this guy finds out the truth asap and dumps her. Women polish their lies and evil deeds. Let it be the other way around, the comment section will be full badmouthing men. Only God knows how many women walk around lying about the father of their children and many other things. Men tell more truth than women, women just choose what they want to hear

  10. Lol

    March 19, 2018 at 12:37 am

    How many men marry for love, really? Men are more rational when picking their spouses. What if he married you for your 1st class in Accounting? Believing that you have a career to fall back on in case of emergency or business failure? What if he married you for the brains he believes you have? But instead you are just a fraudulent mind. Fraudsters are not always the smartest people. They lack the understanding of consequences, which you have clearly shown here.

  11. Madea

    March 19, 2018 at 12:38 am

    You see the world is now smaller and your lies will catch up no matter what in this Instagram and Facebook age.

    I was at Atlanta sometime back and I met an old friend and his fiancée. We got talking and she told me she finished from my Uni (Lautech). I asked what set and dept and she told me 06 set and CSE. Ok good, do you know so so and so person? No
    How about so so person? No
    How about Baba Lucas? Olabiyisi? Omidora? Inaudible replies.
    Funny thing is I didn’t even finish from CSE but I know this people. I didn’t want to burst her bubble but I knew right there and then she had been lying and the guy also started suspecting but what’s my own to be CIAing and FBIing.

    Moral of my epistle: You will meet someone that finished from Unilag to burst your bubble. You just will even if you and yours go to Monaco or Iceland to start a new life so just come clean now. If there are no in-the-mix lies like ‘I don’t eat with my hand’, ‘I only fly first class’, ‘I can’t jump a bike’, ‘I can’t wear Primark’, ‘I only wear so so and so wigs’ etc then you should be good. Cheating is the ultimate unforgivable sin with most guys so I think you are good. He won’t think much but I feel he is suspecting already sef, you just don’t know.

  12. Ibi

    March 19, 2018 at 1:15 am

    Sorry. I know it isn’t a funny situation but I just dey laugh. Unfortunately, you are between a rock and a hard place. Truth, he won’t be able to look at you the same, even if he is still in love with you because you would have destroyed his whole perception of who you are but you will always feel burdened if you don’t tell him. Just make up your mind what you want to do and do it. Shi ke na

  13. Edwin

    March 19, 2018 at 2:15 am

    2 years I’ve been with a woman, and 2 years she has lied about many things. When I found her cheating, I just realized that I’ve been expecting too much from her, that’s why I enjoyed her lies. Finally I found that love is all that I need from her. Not her educational background, her prestigious employment status, her car, etc. We broke up because I found her cheating with her workmate. And she told me that she was tired keeping the lies for years. Acceptance and open to the truth are the key. So I believe your man will accept you as you are.

  14. Ada_ugo

    March 19, 2018 at 2:46 am

    May God have mercy on all ladies that think it’s a good thing when their parents in law are dead

  15. mimi

    March 19, 2018 at 9:33 am

    But really why these sort of heavy lies….this is too much, i feel there are different categories of lies, like when you lie about having a car or owning a house, these are small lies, but this kind of lie…Haba….women do these sort of big lies a lot i’ve noticed, i know a guy that didn’t know his girlfriend was married before with 3 kids until the traditional wedding day when the girl’s parents refused to collect bride price because they had not yet refunded bride price to the ex husband, and her kids were living with her mum, she lied to him that they were her sister’s children….can you imagine, to deny your own flesh and blood bcoz of marriage…SMH….MARRIAGE IS OVERRATED OHHHH….

  16. beauty

    March 19, 2018 at 10:07 am

    Fake it till you make it> Just a part of your conversations with him were lies, there were truths too. Leverage on that and you will be fine. Start a part time course in Unilag and if he finds out he will know that you put in effort.

  17. fabulous

    March 19, 2018 at 10:54 am

    You’re just plain wicked, manipulative,selfish and you have a low self esteem. You’re building your marriage on a very wrong foundation and very soon it will collapse right before your eyes.
    You do not love this guy, if you did you’ll will not hide an information as material as this from him.
    Rule No 1: do not hide any information you know will affect someone’s decision to marry you. Cos the day the truth is out and it’ll always be, you’re in soup. He will lose trust and disrespect for you. Let him have full information about you so he can make an informed decision.
    Tell him now before the wedding, he will be hurt but if he loves you, he will still marry you.
    You have a lot to be grateful for. You’re more successful than a lot of graduates. Don’t look done on yourself. If you really value education, it is not too late to go to school. May you have the wisdom to make the right decision.

    • slice

      March 19, 2018 at 1:02 pm

      I don’t agree with this. Education doesn’t bother everyone. It’s not always a deal breaker. As long as the core things are true, just apologize and move. People have found this kind of info in the past and still continued. Yor real problem here is the possibility of creating embarrassment for your ma. If he tells other people the info and they let him in on this lie, you don enter unforgivable territory be thst

  18. @lekebamz

    March 19, 2018 at 12:41 pm

    Lying to get him and you will still keep lying to keep him and more lies to nurture the previous lies. if it is marriage that I know, better to come clean now if he says NO let it be, if he says yes at least your mind is at rest. is better never to be married than be a divorced fellow, if it was for a job, I will support or for any temporal stuff but for marriage its a NOOOOOOOO.

  19. mua

    March 19, 2018 at 1:20 pm

    Lol..monitoring spirit indeed. they sure will find her.

  20. Jules

    March 19, 2018 at 5:52 pm

    I got a divorce because my suppose to be better half lied to me about his degreee too.. couple with some other lies i got to find out. you better say the truth or regret forever

  21. tunmi

    March 19, 2018 at 7:33 pm

    Own up to it.

  22. smh

    March 20, 2018 at 5:34 am

    You deserve to be dumped dear. If a guy lied this kine lie we wont hear word. And so therefore you better hold yourself to same standards. This was very poor of you and you deserve whatever you get for wasting this mans time with your lies. Also, grow up, no one wants to end up with a liar. Whether or not the liar has ability to fake British accent, pathetic to say the least sis.

  23. OPE

    March 20, 2018 at 10:18 am

    why lie?

  24. favour catlyn

    March 21, 2018 at 3:30 pm

    I would advise you come out clean with him. explain to him why you lied and yes, he might leave on the first note but then he will come back when he is calm. then if you both are to be then it will be.There is this educational site that makes education process easy. They recruit students for Nigerian and international schools that do online degrees, so you could still continue with your studies and go ahead with your fashion job here in Nigeria. the site is called StudyLocal Nigeria.

  25. Karen

    October 3, 2018 at 10:25 am

    You should tell him before but if he truely like truely loves you he won’t mind!

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