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#BN2018Epilogues: Boluwatife is Happy About Love Found & Love Lost

BellaNaija.com

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Remember when we asked you to send in essays discussing how 2018 was for you? Because, you know, writing can be the best therapy. And sharing your joy and pain and all the emotions you’ve felt through the year can only be a good thing.

Boluwatife thought she had found love in 2018, but it turned out she was wrong. Still, she’s glad she got the experience, and that she has supportive friends behind her.

***
I started 2018 on a very good note. I was very certain that everything was going to work out well for me. I had my makeup business and I was looking for a 9-5 to support me financially.

I got a job in February without even applying for it. It has been one of the most amazing jobs ever. It is stress-free and the benefits are wonderful. 2018 was a push in terms of my career.

I left my home to stay with a family friend. It was easier for me because my office is on the island. This was when I learnt that staying with people is not for me. I like having my freedom and space; if you are not in my circle of friends, I basically might not be free with you.

I recall crying my first night there; it was a thousand times different from what I was used to at home. I told my dad about it and he advised I adjust and adapt. It has taken me over 6 months to adapt. I resolved to make my room my safe haven.

About my love life, I entered 2018 determined to end my relationship with my boyfriend, and so I did. I remember seeing a guy’s picture on my cousin’s phone. I told her to help a sister but she refused, so I wore my FBI cap. I found him on Instagram and carefully planned how I would get his attention.

I started by following him. Then I commented on his picture and in less than a day, he followed me back and liked my pictures. Weeks later, I slid into his DM and started a conversation. That was the beginning of our relationship.

Months later, I was pretty sure he liked me. He applied to the naval school but was not recruited. Then our relationship went from 100 to 0 real quick. I was devastated because he left without a word. I picked up my FBI cap again and found the reason why. I tried reaching out but it was all to no avail. I decided to pick up my shattered heart and leave.

Days, weeks and months passed, I did not hear from him. I was already healing and saying goodbye to the future husband I thought I had met, and then he called me. My emotions somersaulted. I was happy and angry at the same time. I tried to be cool because I had missed him. He apologized and asked me why I disappeared. I told him I felt he needed his space because he was not acknowledging my effort during his hard time.

We picked up from where we left off and I was the happiest girl alive. Until the day he hurt my pride.

I noticed he was changing and when I told him about it, he denied it. I told myself that I was overreacting and decided to move on.

Afterwards, something led to something else, and he told me things were not going to work out between us. His reason was that he had way too many girls who liked him and he couldn’t deal with them all. He said I pushed things too far and he wasn’t ready for all that. Then he said: I am not the type of guy you need.

I was broken. I tried pretending like I was fine and he mocked my pretence. That day, I decided that it was high time I walked out of his life forever.

I did not know where to start, or maybe I did not know if I wanted to start anything. I thought I had reached the point where nothing affected me any more. Just maybe I was dead.

My friends supported me and I overcame that hard time. I forgot everything about him and lived a happy life, until I found myself falling for a friend. What a complicated life! He also messed up and I decided to remain single. I am done getting hurt but I am not done loving!

Here is a summary of what I learnt in 2018:

  1. You need multiple streams of income.
  2. All you can do is love.
  3. Talk about things that bring you down to people you trust.
  4. Do not be afraid to stretch out your hand when you need help.
  5. Be happy.

Although I am leaving 2018 a single girl, I am more than happy that I went through everything. 2019, what do you have in store for me?

***
Read up on previous editions of BN 2018 Epilogues here and send in your essays to features(at)bellanaija(dot)com. Let us know all the twists and turns and successes 2018 came with. Send your mail with the title “2018 Epilogues.”

2 Comments

  1. Elle

    December 8, 2018 at 7:33 pm

    Your cousin probably saw/knew what you didn’t which was why she refused to connect you too. We all learn everyday, you’ll be fine.

  2. Ifymcqueens

    December 10, 2018 at 4:32 am

    U kinda forced urself on him/u were trying too hard

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