Chisom Winifred: Young Mom, Who Says You Can’t Have Your Shine?

So, you’re married now (or not) and you have what, one, two kids or more? You feel less and less desirable every day. You hardly get any compliments from your partner. The things you used to find joy in doing, you realise there’s absolutely no time for them anymore. You used to spend quality time in the salon at least once every two or three weeks, and now? You’re barely keeping up with the cornrows. You’re always busy with the kids and managing your home that there is simply no time for anything else, in fact, you can barely meet up with the things you’re supposed to do every day. You’re a young mom, and you’re exhausted.

You ask yourself every day when you log on to social media, These moms that attend owambes and weddings every other weekend, and dress up with their faces beat to perfection, while still holding their homes down, abeg do they have two heads? Why can’t you seem to find a balance? Your Instagram page is no longer as lit as it used to be, but really how can it be? Where is the time?

Well, guess what, young mom. You’re not alone. Your struggle mirrors that of several other young mothers out there, yes, even the ones that look like they have it all together. You have to deliberately and consciously create time for yourself. Pick your outfits out ahead of time, for instance, if you’re to go out every day the next week. You can use the kids’ nap time to pick out and match all your outfits for the coming week. This is something you have to resolve to do once a week, no matter how tight your schedule is. When you already have planned outfits, you find that you’ll begin to look so much better and feel even more confident. Then you buy and wear really good makeup brands (the huge advantage of using good brands is that you don’t need to be an expert to get them to look good on you), a little bit of foundation, concealer, lipstick and you’re already looking like a serious babe. All these can be applied in a matter of minutes and will stay on throughout the day.

Also, importantly, wash your hair regularly. I don’t know why or how this particular one works, but it does work. It helps to keep your mood light, and give you that extra dose of much needed self confidence. Don’t forget that we must not all be team natural hair. Just find what works for you and stick to it. Find a way to resurrect (yes, resurrect) some of your hobbies and indulge yourself once in a while. When you’re happy, your home will be a happy place.

Lastly, young mom, don’t worry so much about what people are posting on social media. We all have our struggles, and most times some of those flashy “we got it all” posts are illusions. They’re not real. You’re doing just great. It’ll all be worth it in the end.