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Juwon Odutayo: Paying Attention to Red Flags in Your Relationship

You should always feel cherished and valued in a healthy relationship.

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There’s no perfect mate out there; we all are fallible and we err in many ways. There is also no perfect relationship. No matter how much couples love each other, they will surely hurt each other. However, some signs would help you tell the difference between a good partner and one who is not.

They don’t take you for granted

Overfamiliarity, many times, makes couples appreciate each other less. That shouldn’t be the case. That your partner has been with you for a while should not make them treat you less than you deserve. They should make efforts to affirm you consistently, even for good deeds that have become habitual, and respect your originality.

They don’t break their promises or shirk their commitments

Some people break commitments and are never sorry about it. They believe they don’t owe you. That is disrespectful. Good partners won’t do that to the people they love. Don’t buy that excuse of a lie that they have a commitment problem, after all, some of them have been supporting Arsenal for the past 20 years now and they’ve not won the league in the last ten. Many people do not have commitment problems, they are just unwilling to strap up their boot strings.

They don’t use threats to get what they want 

Threats produce fear. A good partner won’t abuse and create fear in you, verbally or emotionally. If your partner always needs to threaten or warn you, remind you of consequences, or intimidate you so you can do what they want, you are in an abusive relationship.

They do not dismiss your feelings 

If you complain or make a disapproving remark about a habit, a quip, or a comment, they make efforts to adjust and change for the better. The change may not be immediate, but the efforts will be obvious.  

They don’t belittle you in private or public

A good partner will be proud of you and will shower you with compliments in private and in public. They are not ashamed to be with or acknowledge you in public, in the presence of their friends and family. They will be your first buddy. 

They don’t blame you for all the problems in the relationship

You are the cause for every quarrel or fight? You are the reason they shout at you? You are the reason they don’t treat you right? You are responsible for rain not falling or the sun not shining? You are responsible for everything not right? Come on! You’re not in a good relationship. Walk away.

They don’t kill your dreams and aspirations

A good partner will inspire you to be the best you can be. They won’t only support you, their pursuit for greatness and their ambitions will also rub off on you.

They don’t leave you guessing 

“Are they busy,” “Did I talk too much,” “Was my message too harsh?” “Should I call, should I not?” “Did I piss them off?” A good partner won’t stress you emotionally or leave you guessing. They make efforts to communicate clearly and do not give you the silent treatment.

You should feel cherished and valued in a healthy relationship. If you constantly have to question if your partner loves you or not, it’s a pointer that something isn’t right. 



Featured Image: Dreamstime

Juwon Odutayo is a family therapist and certified marriage counselor with about 10 years practical experience. He is the CEO of My Tutor and I, (an organization focused on training, building strong performance and excellence at the workplace), and Juwon Odutayo Publishing Press. He is an author and a prolific writer and just recently, because of his passion for healthy relationships, and the desire to see people enjoy and not endure their marriages, began producing short films that inspire change and unite families. He holds a master’s degree in organizational leadership. He is a trainer and mentor with Apostles in The Market Place (AiMP) Network, Nigeria. He is also an affiliate of The Institute of Marriage and Family (TIMFA), USA.


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