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She Survived Cancer & a 15-Year Wait For a Child – “Don’t Give Up, Keep Hope Alive!” Bola O Shares Her Inspiring Story

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After the BN Hot Topic sampling people’s opinion on the subject of adoption, the response was quite interesting. A lot of people had not considered the possibility of adoption as it seemed foreign to them. Some people even alluded to the fact that they would only consider it if they weren’t “blessed” with biological children.

Then we had the feature on the Olusanyas on BN Our Stories Our Miracles and we were very glad with the positive responses we got. *Bola O‘s story is such a beautiful one. It is the story of strength, of fears and of victory. We hope you are inspired by it.

***
After eight years of trying to get pregnant, years of praying, crying, anxiety and frustration, I decided to post a prayer request on a popular Nigerian church website. I think the subject was ‘when will I carry my children Lord’ There were many responses to my prayer request but only one stood out for me. It was from a woman who asked if I had considered adoption as there were many children out there in need of parents. Several emotions flitted through my mind after I read the comment; shock, disbelief and then anger. Anger that she dared to suggest it, without even knowing me. Does she know my story? Does she know my pains and tears? What gave her the right to even dare! I came to one conclusion – she must have children of her own and now feels she has the audacity to suggest adoption to me, how very selfish of her!

Like most young brides, I assumed babies would come once we were ready to start. My husband and I had agreed to wait for a year so I was not too concerned when I did not conceive in the first year of our marriage. However, I should have known something was wrong since I was not using any birth control device and yet did not get pregnant. Well, I was too comfortable in the euphoria of marriage to worry about it then. Looking back, I’m glad I did not start worrying right away. It would have robbed me of the early joys of marriage. I definitely worried for several years after that. It became the defining issue in my life and marriage. As if it that was not bad enough, I had to deal with all the looks, the glances from family members, colleagues at work and neighbors. This was not something I could hide or deal with in the quiet of my room.

Eventually, the stares and glances became questions and comments. Some were borne out of genuine concern and some were meant to ridicule. It seemed like everyone had an opinion on why we were unable to have children. We went for several prayer meetings and looked forward to the month when it would finally happen. Months rolled into years and years rolled into more years. Hope led to disappointment and disappointment became disbelief. Why would God let me go through this? Why would God let this happen to me? I could not believe this was happening to us. While trying to deal with all this, random people would offer suggestions that perhaps it was something we had done in our past that was finally catching up with us. Maybe an unconfessed sin, some evil that we deserved. It seemed everyone had a right to suggest a solution whether they were solicited or not.

I finally sought medical intervention ten years into our marriage and one of the procedures led to pregnancy. We were ecstatic; it was unbelievable, too good to be true. And indeed it was as I lost the pregnancy after six weeks. What! After all that, only to have the joy be short-lived! The pain was indescribable and can only be understood by someone who’s been through a similar experience. After the initial pain, we were ready to try again. We threw ourselves into more procedures and surgeries and two years after the first pregnancy, I got pregnant again! We were so excited, we finally have what we have been looking for and I thought I would be able to manage my emotions better this time around.

Unconsciously, I blamed myself for the first miscarriage – I assumed that it was the over excitement that caused it. This time around, I was going to be cool, calm and collected. Six weeks later, I knew something was wrong and in a matter of hours, my worst fears were confirmed. The pain this time was much worse, it was unbearable. I was simply inconsolable and I cried all the time. Nothing seemed to make sense. Along the line, I believe God allowed my path to cross with a woman who had a car accident and lost members of her family. She showed me her scars and I was jolted back into reality – it was not the end of the world. No far from it, for as long as I was alive, I could hope, I could dream. That encounter was the beginning of my healing.

Just when you think it could not get any worse, I was diagnosed with stage two thyroid cancer – I believe it was a side effect of some of the fertility medications. All of a sudden everything changed. All these years, I thought being childless was the worst thing that could happen to me until this happened. Having a child became a distant thought, and then I understood the meaning of that phrase ‘where there’s life, there’s hope’. All I thought about, prayed for and hoped for was to live. I went through surgeries and treatments and thank God everything went well. By God’s grace, I am alive and well.

After this medical challenge, I experienced a paradigm shift. My opinion about motherhood changed completely. All of a sudden it was less important whether I was able to carry a pregnancy to term or not. It really did not matter anymore; all that mattered was to have a child of my own. A child that would call me ‘mommy’. I no longer cared what anyone thought about me – God spared me and gave me another chance and I was not going to waste any more time crying. There were several children waiting for mommies and daddies and I believed this was something I was called to do. Adoption is not just my prayers being answered but also the prayer someone said for that little child being answered.

Today, my husband and I are proud parents of a beautiful baby girl. Our daughter came in the fifteenth years of our marriage, she was 10 months old when we first met her and she is the most beautiful thing that’s happened to us.
Adoption is a beautiful thing and I am fulfilled as a woman, as a mother and as a wife. All the years of praying eventually led us to this wonderful gift from God, a child of our own. Although not from our biological frames but very much birthed through our spiritual womb in prayers. She is every inch a daddy’s girl and our lives have been enriched because of her. Someday, she will read this story and she will understand how truly loved she is. So loved, that her mommy and daddy had to go through all this, before meeting her.

I dedicate this story to all those out there who have waited and longed for something so desperately yet it seems the more they search for it, the more out of reach it has become. Don’t give up – keep hope alive!
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
*Bola O is a business executive. She lives happily with her husband and daughter.

Name changed for privacy reasons

Crown is a lawyer by training and a banker by profession. She is a movitational speaker and a budding author.

73 Comments

  1. ccc

    April 18, 2013 at 3:09 pm

    Really inspiring. Hope this gives encouragement other women.

    • Purpleicious Babe

      April 19, 2013 at 12:06 am

      Atta girl… thats the way forward..

      Have always felt as many may pray for a child, am sure they are many children also praying for a new daddy and mommy…..

      WAY TO GO….TEAM ADOPTION. XXX

  2. Stella Kashmoney

    April 18, 2013 at 3:13 pm

    Wow. So touching.

  3. chino

    April 18, 2013 at 3:13 pm

    omg am in tears..this is soo sweet..God bless u madam…your story is truly inspiring….:)

  4. Nk

    April 18, 2013 at 3:19 pm

    Quite touchy I must say and God will still surprise you beyond your expectation

  5. Tinu

    April 18, 2013 at 3:20 pm

    thank you for sharing

  6. Teablinks

    April 18, 2013 at 3:24 pm

    To God be all the Glory!

  7. Donna

    April 18, 2013 at 3:42 pm

    I have been married for 2+ years still no sign of pregnancy. My prayer life has changed it is always request upon request, and tired TTC (trying to concieve) with my husband. I cannot tell the emotional trauma you go plus direct/indirect pressure from society. I had an abortion 4 yrs ago and now I know that I do not deserve a child I flushed out years ago without batting my eye, if God decides to give me fine. Adoption is in my plans, I will pray about it and suggest this to my husband. TTC is difficult whether 1, 3, 5 or 15 years of marriage. God bless the soul of this writer!!

    • To Donna

      April 18, 2013 at 4:22 pm

      You are going to have to forgive yourself first before the Lord can forgive you. You did a very grave thing, but it shouldn’t define you. I will not scold you about it or judge you, because you must have done that to yourself plenty, but you need to forgive yourself first, and don’t condemn yourself. You are not the one that hands out forgiveness or children. If lasting damage has been done, my dear it is a cross you will have to bear, that is the Divine judgement that has been handed to you, but you can continue each day making yourself a better person. Don’t live each day punishing yourself or wallowing in misery or had I known. There are women who marry as virgins that have reproductive issues. Everyone has cards that life deals them. You made a mistake, people make mistakes, it is what you do as repentance that counts. If your husband doesn’t know, you may have to tell him one day, because with everyday you try, or go through medical procedures you are lying to him. Dont break his heart or add lying to your list of sins. Imagine if the roles were reversed, and it was him that had the problem, and he watched you everyday go through pain? Trust me, men also suffer the pain of childlessness. If your marriage survives it, you will know it will withstand anything. Don’t go into adoption until you come to the emotional, mental, and spiritual realisation or turning point that Bola did. Most parents go into adoption as a last resort, and it shouldn’t be so at all, because what happens when your own child comes along years later? Some people find it difficult to truly love an adopted child, and that’s because that child wasn’t wanted really, that child was just a plan B. If you infer from Bola’s story, this was definitely not the case, so I say to parents in the adoption process, don’t come until you are ready, don’t come in desperation or frustration after you’ve tried everything. That child is not there to fill a hole or gap in your lives. Adoption is a pure and noble thing, you will offend the Lord more if you enter into it for the wrong reasons. Hang in there, you haven’t written your future yet. I hope you get to experience the joy of motherhood. To be a great mum to an adopted child my dear, you have to forgive yourself first, or that child will be a constant reminder of the mistake that you made, and it will hold you back from truly truly loving that child. Remember, it is love that makes a family, not blood. There are many biological parents who hate their children or are really really horrible to their own children, you wonder how such people deserve to be parents, when seemingly good people can’t have any children. A biological child isn’t necessarily loved more. Until you are ready to give your entire being to an adopted child, until you are ready to die for that child, don’t enter into it. I wish you all the best. You are a work in progress. The final chapter of your life hasn’t been written yet.

    • chino

      April 18, 2013 at 6:33 pm

      i love ur piece,very good advice..:)

    • Adelaide

      April 19, 2013 at 7:35 am

      You are blessed

    • Robos

      April 23, 2013 at 12:05 pm

      Well said!! God bless u….

    • E..D

      May 10, 2013 at 4:59 pm

      Hello Donna, I barely comment on these blogs but I have to speak to you. We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. In God’s eyes, no sin is greater than another. If you are Christian, there is one story in the bible that gets my attention to date. Its the story of Saul and David. Saul’s sin against God was impatience. He did not wait for Samuel and went ahead to perfom the sacrifice, and for that singular act, the kingdom was taken away from him. David on the other hand, committed adultery with a married woman, Bathsheba, killed her husband and married her. While God punished him for that sin by killing thaa particular child, He later blessed them with Solomon, who is the greatest king that ever lived. He never took the kingdom away from David, and instead promised David that someone from his lineage would always sit on the throne. That person today is JESUS, called the son of David. Even Jesus came from a lineage of prostitute (Rahab), Adulteress (Bathsheba) and a woman who pretended to be a harlot and slept with her father in law (Tamar). God does not look at your past to determine if he would bless you or not. I am not making excuses for your behaviour in the past, but like i said, it is in the past. His plans for you were already written out before you were born and nothing can change it, not even your mistakes.
      I was not always a good christian. I had an abortion in the past and I am not trying to make excuses for it either. But the emotional pain associated with an abortion made me depressed and suicidal. I needed help, and no man could help me. I went to Christ and since then never looked back. He has given me hope and strength. I am a worthy bride soon to be found by my husband, but one thing is certian, I would never lack a child. I would bring forth my children because that is what the word of God says. I would also adopt some more because the blessings God has given me is too much that I need to bring in others to share in my happiness and joy, and also give their lives a meaning.
      Donna, you need to confess the word of God over your life concerning children. Don’t let Satan deceive you because he is good at that. He would remidn you of your mistakes, and tell you your future is doomed because of xyz…but you tell him, God has given me beauty for ashes and would never withhold any good thing from me. Do not accept barreness as either your fault or yoru husbands. Your past doesn’t defien you, God does, and because He does not judge us as men do, He won’t hold back. If God is leading you to adopt, then please do so. Make sure you are been led and study your bible, it would empower you and you would hear from God through the scriptures. Use this period of waiting on your child to get closer to God, serve in His kingdom wholeheartedly and with joy. Be available to other peoples children maybe by baby sitting or in the church in childrens department. Just be useful to God…in due course, you would see the fruits.
      If you have not told your husband, ask God for direction and guidance before speaking to him. The bible says there is a time for everything under the sun. Let God tell you what to do, and when He does, be certain that he would have prepared your husbands heart to be more receptive towards what you would be saying. As for me, I intend to tell mine before marriage but that is if God asks me to. I once did it without seeking his direction and the guy walked away, and God said, you never asked for my opinion or direction. Be like David, that is why He is a man after Gods heart, he always asked God for directions in everything and followed the directions.
      May God grant you your heart desires in Jesus name, Amen.

      For those that may be hurting in one area or another, whether you think its your fault or someone else’s fault, seek God in the midst of the storm. Trust me, He would give you a purpose out of that mess. A friend of mine called me last year that she found out she is pregnant and her boyfirend wants her to take the baby out. Because of my experience, I vehemently opposed it and told her teh emotional damage and trauma is not worth it. She listened to me. Today they are married and she has a beautiful baby now. I thank God that through my experience, I was able to preserve that baby’s life indirectly.

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      April 18, 2013 at 5:10 pm

      Donna, please don’t do that to yourself, luv. Do not condemn yourself and don’t let the devil lie to you that you don’t deserve a child. It is God’s will that none should be barren and regardless of what your past was, He can give you a child. Rahab was a prostitute who turned her life around and was used by God – she ended up being the matriarch of a line of Kings which produced David and which ultimately produced Jesus Himself.

      There is nothing God cannot forgive but you need to forgive yourself or else you’re never going to truly enjoy the freedom of being truly forgiven.

    • Titi

      April 18, 2013 at 5:11 pm

      Donna, you must believe in your heart that old things are past away and that you are washed clean by he blood on Jesus. Also y ou must stand firm believing that you WILL have a child. The bible says that none shall be barren and that He will make the barren woman a mother of children. God’s promises are true as He watches over His words to perform them. Confess positively and wait and see……. I had treatment for cancer too recently and have been waiting for some years for a child. because of the treatment, i have been advised to wait 2 years before trying. i also had fertility treatment before I was diagnosed even though they say it is unrelated. I Know that God has granted my hearts desires in the spiritual and I am only waiting for the physical manifestation. Stand firm……..

    • JOHN EMEKA

      April 18, 2013 at 5:31 pm

      GOD BLESS THE SOUL OF THIS WRITER….. I AM NOT GIVING UP ON MY SITUATIONS ANY MORE

    • Mama

      April 19, 2013 at 7:10 pm

      I will tell you a story so you don’t dare think a past abortion is an issue with God…..4give yourself and u can be sure God will forgive you….I had a friend who had 8 abortions and when she got pregnant the 9th time she said to herself she will keep it cos she wasn’t sure if God will give her another child…..today she is late but that baby is still alive……abortion is wrong and God hates it, but he will not if you repent deny you a child cos of a past abortion…..having children is your right as a woman created by God, so if you want to adopt like the writer dats ok but don’t ever think God doesn’t want you to…

    • E..D

      May 10, 2013 at 4:55 pm

      Hello Donna, I barely comment on these blogs but I have to speak to you. We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. In God’s eyes, no sin is greater than another. If you are Christian, there is one story in the bible that gets my attention to date. Its the story of Saul and David. Saul’s sin against God was impatience. He did not wait for Samuel and went ahead to perfom the sacrifice, and for that singular act, the kingdom was taken away from him. David on the other hand, committed adultery with a married woman, Bathsheba, killed her husband and married her. While God punished him for that sin by killing thaa particular child, He later blessed them with Solomon, who is the greatest king that ever lived. He never took the kingdom away from David, and instead promised David that someone from his lineage would always sit on the throne. That person today is JESUS, called the son of David. Even Jesus came from a lineage of prostitute (Rahab), Adulteress (Bathsheba) and a woman who pretended to be a harlot and slept with her father in law (Tamar). God does not look at your past to determine if he would bless you or not. I am not making excuses for your behaviour in the past, but like i said, it is in the past. His plans for you were already written out before you were born and nothing can change it, not even your mistakes.
      I was not always a good christian. I had an abortion in the past and I am not trying to make excuses for it either. But the emotional pain associated with an abortion made me depressed and suicidal. I needed help, and no man could help me. I went to Christ and since then never looked back. He has given me hope and strength. I am a worthy bride soon to be found by my husband, but one thing is certian, I would never lack a child. I would bring forth my children because that is what the word of God says. I would also adopt some more because the blessings God has given me is too much that I need to bring in others to share in my happiness and joy, and also give their lives a meaning.
      Donna, you need to confess the word of God over your life concerning children. Don’t let Satan deceive you because he is good at that. He would remidn you of your mistakes, and tell you your future is doomed because of xyz…but you tell him, God has given me beauty for ashes and would never withhold any good thing from me. Do not accept barreness as either your fault or yoru husbands. Your past doesn’t defien you, God does, and because He does not judge us as men do, He won’t hold back. If God is leading you to adopt, then please do so. Make sure you are been led and study your bible, it would empower you and you would hear from God through the scriptures. Use this period of waiting on your child to get closer to God, serve in His kingdom wholeheartedly and with joy. Be available to other peoples children maybe by baby sitting or in the church in childrens department. Just be useful to God…in due course, you would see the fruits.
      If you have not told your husband, ask God for direction and guidance before speaking to him. The bible says there is a time for everything under the sun. Let God tell you what to do, and when He does, be certain that he would have prepared your husbands heart to be more receptive towards what you would be saying. As for me, I intend to tell mine before marriage but that is if God asks me to. I once did it without seeking his direction and the guy walked away, and God said, you never asked for my opinion or direction. Be like David, that is why He is a man after Gods heart, he always asked God for directions in everything and followed the directions.
      May God grant you your heart desires in Jesus name, Amen.

      For those that may be hurting in one area or another, whether you think its your fault or someone else’s fault, seek God in the midst of the storm. Trust me, He would give you a purpose out of that mess. A friend of mine called me last year that she found out she is pregnant and her boyfirend wants her to take the baby out. Because of my experience, I vehemently opposed it and told her teh emotional damage and trauma is not worth it. She listened to me. Today they are married and she has a beautiful baby now. I thank God that through my experience, I was able to preserve that baby’s life indirectly.

  8. Nkem

    April 18, 2013 at 3:50 pm

    Thank you so much Bola for sharing your story.

  9. Nkem

    April 18, 2013 at 3:52 pm

    Thank you so much Bola for sharing your story. I am truly inspired and encouraged.
    The last paragraph of your story really got me:
    “I dedicate this story to all those out there who have waited and longed for something so desperately yet it seems the more they search for it, the more out of reach it has become. Don’t give up – keep hope alive!”

    Thanks again.

  10. nikita

    April 18, 2013 at 3:57 pm

    it is well.. God bless your home ma’am

  11. Chiamaka

    April 18, 2013 at 4:22 pm

    May God bless u for writing this to encourage some women who r trying to conceive.

  12. Glossy

    April 18, 2013 at 4:22 pm

    Thank you for sharing, you have no idea how much your story has strengthen me. God bless you!

  13. Dare

    April 18, 2013 at 4:28 pm

    Very inspiring. I hope everyone can draw from this experience and use it to shape their lives. We cannot have it all but we should be grateful for what we do own.

  14. Tess

    April 18, 2013 at 4:33 pm

    You don’t know how amazing your story is Bola! Thank God for using you to remind us that sometimes the answer to our prayers is by being an answer to another person’s prayer.

  15. Warri pickin

    April 18, 2013 at 4:44 pm

    Thank you Bola for sharing this inspiring message of yours, I also thank God for your breakthroughs dear Bola, May you live a healthy and impactful life in Jesus name. God bless you and your lovely family.

    @Donna ….Seriously, Waiting for the fruit of the womb can be painful and frustrating, but after the Birth of my Triplet babies after 11yrs i have come to realize that we don’t have to force our way into most things in this life, this is because God is just wholesome and does things simply in his ways and time. We waited 11yrs for just one cutie to run around our palatial empty home (We were best of friends and were thinking alike so there wasn’t much prayers / fasting and sleepless nights, how lucky ..abi …..lol) just like that, one day it happened and we got for ourselves a set of beautiful Triplet. Why us, you may ask,and my answer is because it was ”OUR TIME TO SHINE ”……….truth is, when it is the appointed time, anything that is yours and ordained by his grace shall happen without your effort. (Don’t get it twisted pls, prayer is important at all times) Let us first of all love our marriage / our partner, let us enjoy MARRIAGE full blast without worrying so much about babies, thereby complicating / confusing the real reason why we got married, also remain open hearted while in it, play together and leave the rest to God (Except where there happens to be a medical issue, then you can both work on yourselves)
    Just like Bola, I pray that God will visit anyone out there seeking for the blessings of the womb soonest, Amen.

    • dare

      April 18, 2013 at 5:41 pm

      Warri Pickin , thanks for sharing your story too……I am also TTC for over 3 years now and just would like to know if the triplet was due to fertility treatment . Its been on my mind whether to see extra help while i am waiting on God

  16. Dunni

    April 18, 2013 at 5:04 pm

    Congratulations on the arrival of your baby, i’m so happy for you. i’ve got a 10mth old baby too but adpotion is something i would love to do, it’s great looking after those kids.
    God bles you

  17. Clo

    April 18, 2013 at 5:13 pm

    tHANK God for Jesus! Inspiring indeed!

  18. mariam

    April 18, 2013 at 5:13 pm

    I bless the Lord for u and also which to use this medium to tell on my aunt’s story of a 15yrs waiting on the Lord for the fruit of the womb and the Lord came Through last month for her with a blessing of 2 mighty nations. so ur wait can be very emotional but in all don’t give up on God cuz He’s able

  19. MomaKamsi+Kosi in view

    April 18, 2013 at 5:35 pm

    Father Lord even as i wait on u, I decree that this year will not pass me to carry my bundles of joy IJN!!!

    • YungFab

      April 19, 2013 at 3:27 pm

      Kamsi and Kosi re my nephew’s names! You will receive a beautiful blessings from our Lord Jesus Christ! I say to you in faith that God has answered your prayers. Just BELIEVE

  20. Chic

    April 18, 2013 at 5:48 pm

    Question for Bola or anyone else who never considered adoption after five , six years of trying was there a particular reason not to consider it at that time? I ask because i always say that if I am not blessed with a biological child after five years of marriage then I will adopt if my biological ones come along after that then I will give thanks to the Lord for them, but I just don’t want to miss out on having a baby through adoption only to come and do it say ten years later. A pastor and his wife that I know who are very good with children have been married almost 18 years no child and it always baffles me why they never thought to adopt all this while. We know childlessness affects them a lot because they have shared with the congregation countless times and I am always pressed to ask them why they never adopted but I feel it is not my place to do so, they could probably have teenagers in the house by now if they had adopted. They are both in their mid forties now.

  21. CHINELLE ADAMS

    April 18, 2013 at 5:50 pm

    WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE

  22. M

    April 18, 2013 at 6:31 pm

    I truly had to read this, you have no idea Bola. Thanks

  23. Heeba

    April 18, 2013 at 6:50 pm

    God is good .!!!there is nothing he cannot do? Where men have said no way God will make away.he is a miracle worker and he does wonders everyday.bola God will surprisevu just wait and see.

  24. TTC momma

    April 18, 2013 at 6:50 pm

    Omg! For once I’m all runny nose and tears rolling down my eyes after reading an article on BellaNaija. O! The comments got me all balling like someone died. I can’t stop crying.
    @Donna you really have to forgive yourself, let go and let God cause He has forgiven even before you came to Him for forgiveness so it’s time to forgive yourself. I’m also TTC 2 years now and in my case I say “God I spent my whole life trying to not get pregnant and now that I’m ready why can’t I have the babies.” After all the medical tests and all my husband and I are medically OK but it’s just not happening yet. Like everything in life, I know God makes all things beautiful in His time.

  25. adenike

    April 18, 2013 at 6:54 pm

    Very inspiring. This is why I love Bella Naija. Thank you so much Bola.

  26. x factor

    April 18, 2013 at 6:55 pm

    Wow… So much about God on BN…..
    Thank You Bola for sharing
    Thank you BN for bringing us to a moment on our knees before HIM almighty….

  27. omobola

    April 18, 2013 at 7:56 pm

    This is trully inspiring. This God is faithful despite our unfaithfulness. He alone can make All things beautiful But in His time.
    Am so touched by these testimonies. God bless u all.

  28. Kingdomevents

    April 18, 2013 at 9:51 pm

    Hey.
    Infertility is a lot of hardwork for anyone to deal with.
    I’ve been married 6years, found out my hubby had undescended testicles and could never impregnate me after a year plus.
    I’m pregnant now with donor sperm, conceived thru Ivf.

  29. nene

    April 18, 2013 at 10:17 pm

    i don’t know why nigerian women don’t adopt. 10 yrs, 15 years childless? is is from the husbands or families who don’t want to adopt? if i’m that desperate, i will adopt a child.

  30. Blessed-Diva

    April 18, 2013 at 10:59 pm

    I regret not adopting earlier but I won’t give up my adopted 2 years old daughter for anything, I still don’t believe that I have a 5months old daughter that I delivered without any medical intervention after waiting for 12years and being told I couldn’t get pregnant naturally because of blocked fallopian tubes, I also had ivf that all failed. God is still in the business of performing miracles just hold unto him.

  31. Sita

    April 19, 2013 at 12:41 am

    please someone explain “Although not from our biological frames but very much birthed through our spiritual womb in prayers.” —does she mean she had the child through a surrogate? i’m just curious.

    • Goldie

      April 19, 2013 at 3:18 pm

      No she means dou they re nt d biological parents bt they re her parents thru God cos he gave her to them

  32. Toyin

    April 19, 2013 at 1:07 am

    His ways are not our ways. He makes everything beautiful in His time. I thank God for your life and your family. His timing are always right.

  33. Mabel

    April 19, 2013 at 3:11 am

    Thank you for your story of triumph. Since I was a young girl I have always dreamed of being an adoptive mother. I have not followed through on it yet, but I know I will do it when I am spiritually mature enough to take on motherhood.

  34. CONDE

    April 19, 2013 at 3:26 am

    What is compelling in Bola O’s story is the birth of courage and victory out of profound fear, worry and sense of temporal inability. Let this be clearly noted, our greatest strength, brightest breakthrough and surest restoration can emerge from a previous sense of failure! We commend, as we must, Bola’s courage and her husband’s true affection. Courage to consider adoption and the affection to pour the love on the beautiful daughter. The realization of the open door of adoption that Bola and her wonderful man embraced is bringing glory to The Lord through their redoubtable act of faith. God is praised, human needs are met, yokes are broken, many would be inspired, greater acts of faith would follow, God is praised; and a cycle of gratitude is born, from what would have remained a pity party for many others. Here it is a miracle in its own class. For me, I say, let somebody shout alleluia! PS : it is a joy to be the GM of the beautiful girl :))

  35. zsa zsa

    April 19, 2013 at 5:11 am

    Thanks to the write for sharing, and thanks BN for this story. More inspiring stories like this PLEASE!!

  36. Lamide

    April 19, 2013 at 7:00 am

    I’m so glad I read this article…….thanks to all that shared dere bbeautiful stories too. Sometimes, we all need to read inspiring stuffs like this to forge ahead. Makes us realize we r nt alone no matter wat we r going thru. God will truly make all things beautiful for us.

  37. nnenne

    April 19, 2013 at 8:50 am

    Bola sincerely speaking, you might never know the kind of strength and will to hold on your story gave me. I am at that point in my life where i feel that just maybe God has forgotten me and is punishing me for my sins. But now i am reminded that while i am busy worrying, God is busy perfecting all that concerns me. That hope that i’ve been clinging to just came alive again. I believe that God is in control of all situations and he will never leave nor forsake us. God bless your home Bola and make his countenance continue to shine upon you and yours. Thanks once again for sharing and inspiring me.

  38. CK1

    April 19, 2013 at 9:42 am

    Indeed HIS ways are not our ways. I bless God for this family. Very inspiring testimony.

  39. Mist

    April 19, 2013 at 9:43 am

    God bless you for this wonderful write up.

  40. adoption service

    April 19, 2013 at 11:01 am

    This was really a touching story..Its really an inspiration to other people..Thanks for providing this share.

  41. HRS

    April 19, 2013 at 11:15 am

    Thanks for sharing Bola O…. Truly inspiring…

  42. damilola

    April 19, 2013 at 11:45 am

    His ways aren’t our ways. …..

  43. Janet Dubac

    April 19, 2013 at 12:38 pm

    Thank you for sharing this Bola O! It was a very touching story. I felt your pain and your joy and I was very moved by it. You have inspired me in so many ways especially on being a good mother to my kids. You are a true inspiration and I know that your story will inspire many more people. May God bless you and your family. 🙂

  44. Warri pickin

    April 19, 2013 at 1:57 pm

    @Dare………………………NATURALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL…………But you can try the fertility help , you may be lucky, actually fertility conception is same percentage as natural conception so i learnt, i am saying this for the benefit of who ever is reluctant to seek fertility method thinking it doesnt work, (It works seriously ) I have my sister inlaw who has tried fertility 6 times but no luck inpsite of the huge amount spent, until she adopted a cutie last year, she and our angel are doing great. we all love baby Testimony, thats her name. So Dare, try fertility okay…………..God will do it for you ..love you

    • dare

      April 23, 2013 at 3:59 pm

      Thanks for responding Back…. May God bless you plenty . stay blessed

  45. Foluke

    April 19, 2013 at 2:00 pm

    Bola, this is a very inspiring story, thanks for posting it.
    @Donna, i hope u read this. I assume you are born again and have received the Holy Spirit (Luke 11:13) and you have asked for forgiveness for what you did. If you haven’t, that’s the first step. After that, move on with your life. Don’t waste any time worrying if God forgave you cos He did.(Heb 4:16) Jesus died for all d sins u committed and would commit, so be confident in that. And u know those nagging thoughts of doubt from the devil, don’t give it no attention.(James 4:7)
    That done, I disagree with TO DONNA who said ‘If lasting damage has been done, my dear it is a cross you will have to bear’. Rom 5:17 and Mark 9:23 don’t say so. Anything is possible. I attend Christ Embassy and Pastor Chris always says if you stick to the Word, you would come back with a testimony. It don’t matter if you have had 10 abortions or you don’t have a womb, you can have as many biological babies as you want want cos you are a new creation! It’s up to you to believe!

  46. Warri pickin

    April 19, 2013 at 2:08 pm

    @nene ……………reason for not adopting in Nigeria easily or making adoption a second thought is because of the societal stigma / believe. Very stupid attitude from us society to mock someone of a dear and precious thing as ”BABY” , Please dear people go out there and help reduce the orphanage homes by adopting a cutie into your home and love that child forever. Once my kids leave for higher institution the home will be empty and we have agreed to adopt a boy as a second brother to our lonely triplet son…………To God be all the glory.

  47. adetola

    April 19, 2013 at 2:21 pm

    Adoption is something I never will understand why people have an issue with. I am still single but I pray the man who finds me has no problem with it because I really want to adopt at least two children whether before or after my own biological children. I think its a beautiful thing to want to offer hope and a future to these children who may never experience the kind of love a family gives. For expectant families, please do yourselves a huge favour, don’t worry over having your own biological children so much that it affects every other part of your lives. You have love to give, find children who need it and shower it on them; whether they are yours biologically is another story. God sees your intentions and will definitely bless you for it. I see it as a social responsibility, there are too many children whose lives would be on a better course had someone adopted them. Lets change our mindsets about this; its a beautiful thing!

  48. adetola taiwo

    April 19, 2013 at 2:23 pm

    Adoption is something I never will understand why people have an issue with. I am still single but I pray the man who finds me has no problem with it because I really want to adopt at least two children whether before or after my own biological children. I think its a beautiful thing to want to offer hope and a future to these children who may never experience the kind of love a family gives. For expectant families, please do yourselves a huge favour, don’t worry over having your own biological children so much that it affects every other part of your lives. You have love to give, find children who need it and shower it on them; whether they are yours biologically is another story. God sees your intentions and will definitely bless you for it. I see it as a social responsibility, there are too many children whose lives would be on a better course had someone adopted them. Lets change our mindsets about this; its a beautiful thing!

  49. bookies

    April 19, 2013 at 2:45 pm

    tears dropping frm my eyes….. i pary d dissappointment u see today, u will see dem no more
    it os well with u nd ur family.

  50. jenny

    April 19, 2013 at 2:51 pm

    I have never passed a comment on any article i’ve ever read hear but this time i’ve gone throught this article over and over and i think this time is right.Am so proud of this lady for her bold step.In as much as am not married and havent even had children,i have made so many mistakes which i have asked God to forgive me of,its my prayer that when my time is due He blesses me accordingly,be it naturally or through adoption am sure it depends on how i bring that child up that will make her great in future.God bless us all!!!

  51. YungFab

    April 19, 2013 at 3:44 pm

    My uncle adopted a baby boy after 20 years of marriage and am excited about it! Can’t even wait to see the little homie once I get back to Naija….. BN You re a blessing to our society and I really appreciate what you guys re doing. It’s only sane peeps that comment on here unlike Lindaikeji’s blog

  52. lulu

    April 19, 2013 at 9:58 pm

    Inspiring indeed!

  53. Temizzy

    April 22, 2013 at 8:41 am

    woooow am speechless. God bless you Bola, and BN keep up the good work. and @Donna dont do that to your self. Jesus has paid the price be comforted He knows the answers to all our why’s

  54. Gabby

    April 22, 2013 at 12:44 pm

    Oh Bola, May God bless you always.Im touched.Will tell my friend to come and read this article, she is going through alot.it is well in Jesus Name.

  55. jK

    April 22, 2013 at 6:19 pm

    BN i would like to share this article on my fb and twitter pages. I don’t know if you’ll give me permission. I’m blessed and i want others to be blessed too.

  56. Tunrayo

    April 23, 2013 at 6:51 am

    Quite touchin nd inspirin, i bliv in dis life evry1 has a cross 2 bear nd wia dia is life, dia is hope. Pray 2 God, he ll definately ansa ur prayers nd grant ur request. Bola, ur story has rilly helped me 2 knw wats right 4rm wrong

  57. Unamennnn

    April 23, 2013 at 4:16 pm

    I just read this story and I had to drop a line. I know three people personally who decided to go for adoption and just when they were in search of the babies via orphanage homes they got pregnant. I tell you Bola if God wills you will still deliver your own baby except if it is not his will.
    I cannot feel what you went through but I know because I have people still believing God for the fruit of the womb and one by one Oluwa is doing it for them and answering their prayers. He will do same for everyone believing him for such miracle. Thank you for sharing Bola, God bless you

  58. metche

    April 24, 2013 at 1:14 pm

    Dear Bola O, I really thank God for your life. Thanks for sharing this with us. Your joy will be permanent in Jesus Name. I have a brother who has been trusting God for the fruit of the womb for 10 years now. His wife has been going from one church to another but my brother does not really believe in and prayers and he does not have patience to wait any long. Am praying that God will touch his heart to go for adoption. I wish he can read this story. All he wants now is to marry another wife but he does not know he cannot outsmarth God. I pray that God will surely tough his heart.

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