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Precious Uwisike: Balancing the Real Boo & Office Boo Relationship

Precious Uwisike

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Many people live at work. The only time you are at home on a week day, is to get some sleep… which is usually in the night. Night is your unconscious time, you do not meet people, you lie in your bed and drown out the consciousness of your arena, till you are sound asleep. The next waking hour, you are at work where you spend not less than 8 hours. If you have a deadline that day, you add extra 2 hours to meet up, and then you spend an average of another 2 hours stuck in traffic, after which night cometh and you hit the bed again. That’s the cycle.

Your work environment is a totally different community where you spend most of your conscious time. By this, I mean, it’s day time and you are alert physically, mentally and of course emotionally. You have a 9-5 job, all of 5 days out of 7. Your office is practically where you live.

So you will bond with people… people of different build and personality. You eventually, find that colleague that gets you at work. You two start off bouncing ideas during team work, sharing jokes and understanding frustrations with a boss. You exchange advice; provide emotional support for each other during challenging times. When it comes to discussing internal politics and releasing work-related tension, this colleague is your buddy. God helps you the person described above is the opposite sex. He/she (un)consciously becomes your Office boo.

Don’t get me wrong—this does not mean you are romantically involved with him/her. Your relationship is unassuming and platonic. Research shows that employees will devote more time to their work and go the extra mile if they have close ties on the job. People work hours in close quarter with the opposite sex so there is a high chance emotions would sieve through. In an ideal work environment, two close colleagues (office boos) will complement one another’s skill and ability in the workplace, consequently leading to a successful and productive team. Although, the relationship is not intimate, there is however, a thin line between this friendship and intimacy. If you have a real boo, then you have to be worried about crossing that line.

There are, however, 4 ground rules to maintaining the boo at home and the one at work so you do not cross the line to the unforgivable.

Set a Boundary
A healthy office boo relationship is a situation between two colleagues who would never let their friendship venture into an inappropriate space and understand that fine line. How do you set boundaries? Avoid getting all personal with office boo. Do not share personal information about yourself with office boo. I repeat, do not share your personal info with Office boo, especially private details of your relationship or marriage. If he/she shares personal information with you, tell your real boo about it so you don’t sow secret seeds that your real boo is not aware of.

Open Up
Tell your real boo everything. Be upfront and honest about the closeness with your office boo. Also make sure your office boo understands the bond in your real relationship so he/she does not get ideas. If it gets to a point where you two are really close, introduce your office boo to your real boo so office boo relationship isn’t exclusive. That way, there will be no room for some shady feelings to spring up.

Avoid Enclosed Spots
Do not be alone in suggestive spots with your office boo. Remember, romantic relationships come out of recreational activities and even intimate conversations. The spots you choose to be with someone, has a huge influence on the outcome of the meeting. Don’t go to a club with office boo. Do not go to the movies to watch “The Ugly Truth” with office boo… except of course you want to cross the line. Also, avoid meeting for drinks with office boo. Do not drink with him/her. It is totally against the rule. When you drink, boundaries get blurred.

Open Communication
Communication is everything. The how and what you communicate is very important. Avoid constantly talking about your office boo with your Real boo. Don’t overdo it. You go on and on about working with your office boo (even when you are being unassuming), real boo might start getting suspicious. When you are at work, try to keep the mood light and happy around your office boo so that drama at home or with your real boo doesn’t bleed in to what should be a professional relationship. Ensure you are communicating with other co-workers and not just your office boo so you two are not perceived as a clique or exclusive.

You obey these rules and you have Real boo Vs Office boo relationship balance. 🙂

Photo Credit: Dreamstime |  Bobby Deal 

11 Comments

  1. Robin Hood

    November 13, 2014 at 12:03 pm

    This is exactly the way the monkey started its journey to the market and never returned…….. talk about self inflicted problems.
    Tomorrow women will talk about guys who are not loyal or guys who crossed the line when they have given them and inch and a half in the process of wanting the best of both worlds

  2. Vics

    November 13, 2014 at 12:44 pm

    Hahaha….I love this

  3. sum1special

    November 13, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    The article is a bit washed down…more relevant topics please.

  4. iyke

    November 13, 2014 at 12:53 pm

    Not sure I’m a big fan of office romance though office romances are here to stay!
    My view is that all office relationships are complicated, and present unique challenges in that you spend more time with your coworker/romantic partner and need to, simultaneously, manage the perceptions of other coworkers……Hmmm, I just can’t deal with that….the implications and challenges are damn too much. And it gets worse to manage when these relationships break up.
    Per writer’s suggestions/rules, valid as they may be, you have to also remember that attraction is not by choice. So being married or dating doesn’t stop you lusting after a co-worker or stop him from asking you out on a date. Once the intensity and affection sets it, bingo….it’s game over….., you find yourself all excited and tripping for nothing.
    So it’s better you don’t even contemplate this ‘Office Boo’ rubbish…Because na from Office boo, e go enter business and pleasure boo.

    • Ivie

      November 13, 2014 at 10:50 pm

      Lol…I agree! Smh

  5. di

    November 13, 2014 at 1:30 pm

    …the pic on this article just kept on distracting me….is the guys hand on the gals bööbs? hian…office boo tins

    • O

      November 13, 2014 at 2:55 pm

      Kai, get glasses o, and for your mind too. He’s holding something.

    • Teris

      November 13, 2014 at 3:28 pm

      LOL! had to scroll back.

  6. Lilphoenixxx

    November 13, 2014 at 3:06 pm

    Great writeup! Wish my ex bf read this guideline before letting his “lustful” sorry “platonic” friendship for his female office boo ring the death knell on our 3yr old relationship..oh well, guess that’s how the cookie crumbled for both of us….
    Methinks from observations and stories from most people, its the male folks that are usually guilty of not striking an equal balance between the office boo vs the real boo..they get too carried away by the attention they receive from the females in the office and even start imagining what a real relationship with the office boo could be like and even putting them thoughts into action and lies set in, and fail to practice the law of open communication with d real n office boo…especially when d real boo is aware of the existence of d office boo and d young man fails to allay her fears of the competition and maybe unfaithfulness by introducing the two boos he’s got to each other and in the proper way…c’est la vie I guess..men would ALWAYS be men!
    *btw, sorry for my long epistle…n sorry too for those that may not get my point in spite of the long essay typed Hehehehehehe* lol

  7. 6teenshots

    November 13, 2014 at 4:45 pm

    No point trading blames here. We should just be careful and readily define every relationship whether real or otherwise. We are social beings by nature and developing affection for someone we work with is a natural thing especially where he/she is helpful and resourceful too. Don’t start what you won’t finish and consider the feeling of the other party. Don’t lead anyone on an emotional mirage. Don’t allow yourself to be led sheepishly too.

  8. Ivie

    November 13, 2014 at 10:56 pm

    Office boo ke…..naaa not interested biko! Avoiding stories that touch since 1904 Before Ebola. Sometimes it ends in a real relationship. The one I don’t understand is the office boo between a married man/woman and a single man/woman. Caption it!

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