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Chiugo Akaolisa: 4 Reasons Why Hashtag Relationships Might Not Be the Best

Chiugo Akaolisa

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We can literally tell someone’s location, social standing, relationship status and mental state by a single Instagram picture. Amazing right?

Technology has gotten that advanced and we, as creatures of interest, are loving every minute of it. I mean, why spend months of building trust and sharing personal details with someone when we can just check out their social media account and find out the information in seconds? Duh!

In this age of social media, it is enticing to display your achievements to the world and while your posts are filled with a few hundred likes and shares, they are also open to heavy scrutiny; especially your relationship status…that stuff is just a gold mine.

Check out some Instagram captions: Me and Bae #togetherforever #cantbreakus #lovesoreal.

For the more dramatic ones: Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same #EmilyBronte #Soulmates #fairytalelove #cosmiclove.

I live for the hashtags!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with sharing your love story with the world. Everybody loves a good inspiration to make them keep the faith but make sure you are doing it for all the right reasons. As long as things are as rosy on the inside as they look from the outside, then carry on.

Personally, I opt for keeping relationships PRIVATE with minimal social media attention. I am that old-fashioned. People will still camp out in your business, but why help them by giving them intimate details? In my opinion, it is not okay for someone else to know every aspect of your relationship; or even have an influence on how you choose to handle the ups and downs. Notice that I didn’t use the word “secret”. If nobody knows you two are together, then it may very well be all in your head.

Here are a few more reasons to choose subtlety above all else:

Monitoring Spirits
If you don’t know this, there are people whose morning newspaper include your Instagram and Twitter pages. They scrutinize every post of yours so as to have juicy conversation topics. They don’t need to be accurate, they just need to have something to say and pictures to prove it. This is how gist spreads and pray it is nothing that can hurt your relationship. We battle not against flesh and blood.

Insta-Famous
when your relationship is very public, your face becomes recognizable which means that there are certain things you can no longer get away with. If you decide to smile at someone other than your partner (innocent or not), there are a good number of people you have just given a good story. Thank you!

Bad-belle
There are people who will never be happy for you. If your partner is a heavy spender, good-looking or exceptionally loving, some will wish they were in your shoes and then there are the more ambitious ones who will do everything possible to make that a reality. They would never have known what to fight for if you didn’t show them.

Trouble in Paradise
There will definitely be those bad pictures, subs, or encrypted messages that people will misconstrue as trouble in paradise. If you don’t want people mourning your relationship before it ends, then keep it out of their feeds.

Relationships are to be treated with the utmost respect and sensitivity. You should not look to others to validate your life choices. It is hard enough to maintain a healthy bond with someone different from you without having external influences. You may be able to handle the scrutiny but what about your partner and all the people related to him/her. Look at the bigger picture, it is not about you anymore.

Remember, invisibility is a superpower.

Goodluck!
Photo Credit: blogs.ugo.co.ug

Chiugo Veronica Akaolisa is a graduate from the University of Alberta, Canada. She is a God-lover and a recluse. Her every spare time is spent writing and developing her business. She is an entrepreneur and a budding novelist. Her true passion is Poetry and Relationship Tips. She has a minor in Psychology.Twitter: Verachi | Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cakaolisa | Instagram: missverachi |

27 Comments

  1. Banke

    January 7, 2015 at 5:43 pm

    I’ve been finding an outlet to let out the rant in me and this post happens to just be the best one.

    Firstly, I’m glad that the writer clarified her stance on keeping relationships ‘private’ as opposed to ‘secret”. If there is anything that needs to not be hidden, it’s two people in love! why hide your relationship? as regards to instagram, I believe posting one or two pictures of you and your bae has no harm. However, if you choose to choke your followers with you and bae’s escapade, your prerogative.

    Now, let’s come to @bad belle’. I’m sorry but if you think you have badbelle aka hater, and spend your whole time scrutinizing who they are, then your’re probably a hater yourself. If you don’t indulge drama, drama won’t indulge you. Someone who keeps to themself won’t breed drama.

    I stand to be corrected!

  2. Reverse

    January 7, 2015 at 5:43 pm

    So the writer describes herself as anti-divorce. So who’s pro-divorce? Is that not a bit too revealing about your personal life? That statement is equal to 10 instagram pictures … just saying 🙂

    • ms.b

      January 7, 2015 at 6:48 pm

      @Reverse Hahahahah @ “who is pro-divorce”. Shes telling d whole world she’s anti divorce till it happens to her (God forbid tho). Shit happens, shit we don’t anticipate. So Never say Never PUBLICLY!

    • coke

      January 8, 2015 at 12:05 pm

      i cant agree more lol

  3. Ditebogo

    January 7, 2015 at 6:12 pm

    Thank you, thank you. Like I said, I will only post and tag bae on my Instagram when he put a ring on it. I know friends who posted pics with their then bf’s and had to delete them all coz they broke up and they are now posting pics with the new bae.

    • Dee

      January 7, 2015 at 11:01 pm

      I thought I was the only one with that mindset/mentality. I will only post the ring self and wait till the wedding day to tag him….. #Teamimakeepitprivatetillthereisnomoresocialmedie

  4. HAWTTALKWITHTOSAN

    January 7, 2015 at 6:52 pm

    Private is the key word here! While I understand the urge to celebrate one’s love, one must be careful. Privacy seems to be the best route to take in this fast paced social media world we now live in.

  5. Ibukun

    January 7, 2015 at 7:29 pm

    Oh dear Instagram, how I Love You.

  6. Thatgidigirl

    January 7, 2015 at 8:02 pm

    My personal favourites are the philosophers/deep thinkers. You would see heartbreak and relationship issues turning people into confucius and pastors. Na dat time you go dey see “guard your heart with all diligence, love is like a plate when it breaks it makes gbagaraaam!” different orishirishi quotes and subs. Enter ya house and tend to ur business privately!!!

    • Colour Purple

      January 8, 2015 at 1:03 pm

      Oh dear! I nearly choked at the gbaraaam. Lmao!

  7. troublemaker

    January 7, 2015 at 11:05 pm

    private life = happy life

  8. Like

    January 7, 2015 at 11:25 pm

    I have been out there in the past.. 3 years after the relationship ended there are people who still ask after him.. Although my last relationship also ended – i think i used his pic thrice.,.. I am very out there but i have chosen to keep my life very private – my locations are not included in all my social media accounts..

  9. NaijaPikin

    January 7, 2015 at 11:45 pm

    I guess this really applies to pple with open IG pages or people that accept invite from every tom, dick and …….,

    The people I have on my IG are pple I won’t mind seeing the posts i make. I’m not a big fan of PDA but if I happened to be, you think I will let haters control my actions?

    The most sensible advice in the right up was.
    “There is absolutely nothing wrong with sharing your love story with the world. Everybody loves a good inspiration to make them keep the faith but make sure you are doing it for all the right reasons. As long as things are as rosy on the inside as they look from the outside, then carry on”

  10. NaijaPikin

    January 7, 2015 at 11:49 pm

    Sorry had to vent one more time. Naija pple annoy me with this B.S

    Don’t tell anyone you are pregnant, Don’t show your man, don’t do this or that because of haters, enemies, etc. Abegi jare. Human being cannot control my life. My giving birth to a healthy child is not in anyones hand but Gods, My staying happily married is not in anyone’s hands but God, me and husby. As long as you aint lying to yourself, live your life as it pleases you.

  11. Concerned_Boyfriend

    January 8, 2015 at 12:19 am

    Invisibility is indeed super power!!.. The quest for notoriety and fame is what is putting some people in trouble. I don’t understand the need to have your page wide open all because of numbers and you wonder why they’re hating on you. Do you open your door to everybody in real life ?..

  12. bees

    January 8, 2015 at 12:45 am

    But why are you like this…lol

  13. Princess Mo

    January 8, 2015 at 6:55 am

    Public or private, just do u, no guarantees, d only guarantee u have is in God, commit ur relationships into his hands

  14. Loveaddict

    January 8, 2015 at 8:24 am

    I love to display my love to the world. Real people not online world. Instagram emotions are mostly overdone. Nice write-up!

  15. DontBeASecret

    January 8, 2015 at 10:20 am

    Private vs Secret
    Two very different concepts. I am a strong advocate for privacy. One must however be weary of secrecy. If no one in your circle knows you two are together, that is also a problem. People could mistake your bf/gf as single and available, it creates an open avenue for cheating and one also has to question if they are ashamed of you and vice versa… Just saying.
    It is okay for people to know that you are off the market and together but I think that’s where the details should stop. No need to show all the meals you share together, intimate moments etc.
    Personally, you’ll see the bae on my instagram when he puts a ring on it.

  16. deb

    January 8, 2015 at 11:13 am

    …and things like this are partly the reasons why I don’t have or want an instagram profile. Too much info biko. I don’t wanna know every blessed detail about my friends and I don’t want them to know about mine either, I still enjoy surprises. If you’re important to me, you’ll meet bae in person, not on instagram, even if its on our wedding day. And if you’re a zillion miles away, i’ll send a picture. ONE picture. You’ll get a few more pics when he becomes hubby. sheesh!

  17. sum1special

    January 8, 2015 at 11:51 am

    You put your relationship out there and when something goes wrong, it is iut there for people to see.Be warned

  18. Bam Bam

    January 8, 2015 at 2:12 pm

    Gbam! I feel u jor! The one that is annoying are those ones that put EVERY DETAIL of their relationship on social media. It gets interesting @ first, but after a while I’m like ‘k!’. Really, Nobody is interested in U and Ur Boyfriend’s relationship! Got better stuff doing.

  19. Lewis @ Custom Fittings

    January 8, 2015 at 3:49 pm

    I don’t necessarily see danger in living online, I just feel that if you’re boiling your life down into easily digestible bits then you’re ignoring the beauty of living.

  20. esomchi

    January 8, 2015 at 4:10 pm

    nice piece

  21. Dr BAM

    January 9, 2015 at 4:45 am

    “You shd not look to others to validate ur life choices” Deep! Deep!! Deep!!!

  22. oy

    January 30, 2015 at 12:29 pm

    hahahahha @monitoring spirits

  23. ade

    January 31, 2015 at 6:29 pm

    sometimes it good to keep ur relationship private but not always too good when ur boo says he doesnt want the relationship public. i can assure you that the guy is cheating on you.

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