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Atoke’s Monday Morning: Peeking Out of the Mahogany Closet

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Last night I read a story on the Humans of New York page and it absolutely broke my heart.
Girl meets Boy. Girl is smitten by Boy. Girl imagines/thinks Boy feels the same. Every time Girl attempts to transition their relationship to something more intimate/physical, she notices there’s a resistance. Girl has scoliosis and believed that the lack of enthusiasm on Boy’s part is as a result of some form of inadequacy on her part – as a result of her height or physical condition. What she doesn’t know, and finds out later, is that Boy actually likes other boys.

As someone who consistently battles a lot of insecurities and self esteem issues, this story resonated deeply with me. You meet someone, and you begin to think there’s a connection – real or imagined. In my case, when the person isn’t moving the relationship forward I automatically start thinking about all the reasons why I’m not good enough, and why the person doesn’t want me:
I’m short.
I’m not pretty.
I’m not fashionable.
Maltex bottle syndrome.
The list goes on.
I never stop to pause to think about whether the person isn’t even into girls.

You see, when you’re in a phase where you’re ripe fodder for anybody who wants to make comments about protracted singlehood, you get a lot questions about what you’re doing to chase men away, and what active steps you’re taking to attract potential husbands.
The problem with that situation is that you run the risk of being introduced to, and shoved at any and everybody who is prima facie available. This means, men who are already married and open to polygamy or closeted gay men are thrown in your face.

In Nigeria, homosexuality has been criminalized (meaning, there is a law which makes it a crime for you to be a homosexual. You know… like it’s a crime to take another person’s life? Yeah, a crime – arrest, jail, courts, lawyers, prison.) Nobody who wants to stay out of trouble will openly admit that he/she is gay. As a result, there are a lot of closeted homosexuals being forced/shamed into marrying heterosexual people. Even the slightest suspicion of homosexuality and you find people quickly acquiring a cover story of how in love they are with a person of the opposite sex. If you have ever visited Kirikiri prison, or ever been in Ikeja High Court when they’re bringing prison inmates for a court sitting, you’ll understand why you DON’T WANT TO BE IN A NIGERIAN PRISON – especially for a crime which nobody can prove (unless you’re caught in the act). So, the walls of the closets in Nigeria are triple glazed! Nobody is coming out of those babies unless they want to see their lives turn upside down.

While this article is not intended to delve into the question of the origins of homosexuality (the nature/nurture argument), it gives rise to the argument that a person can be screwed into a change of sexual orientation. This stems from the idea that a person is only gay because he/she has not be effectively and efficiently shagged into heterosexuality. Thus, a heterosexual marriage/relationship supposedly can influence a person’s sexuality. “See the right kind of penis and you won’t be interested in another woman again – never, lai lai!”

It is the combination of the non-disclosure of one’s sexual orientation (for fear of stigma and imprisonment), and the shame of being tagged as ‘different’ that gives rise to the potent melting pot of marital misery. The shroud of secrecy surrounding a person’s sexuality and sexual orientation births the erroneous assumption that everybody is heterosexual – and such a viable partner for any single person – male or female.

It is not our usual practice to ask for a person’s sexual orientation before we proceed in the relationship. Nobody really considers the thought that your Boo might actually be gay. Then when you get in the marriage, and Wole, the best friend and best man won’t stop visiting regularly at odd hours, then you remember the rumour you heard when you started dating. It was only a rumour, spread by those who didn’t want you to marry the love of your life.

I heard the story of a Nigerian woman who went back to her Daddy’s house because the man she married was gay. They were saving ‘it’ for marriage, so they didn’t test the goods.

In her case one might understand how she did not know that her husband did not find people of her gender attractive. Besides, I don’t know many Nigerians who would ask: “So, are you gay or straight?”

Even if the question is asked, what are the chances that they would be honestly answered? Then, what happens when all the cards are laid on the table and a person tells you truthfully: “I am a lesbian. “, what are the chances that the person is believed and accepted, for the simplicity of honesty offered?

A few months ago, the news broke of a Nigerian businessman who recently came out as being gay. He revealed that he had informed his wife-to-be that he was gay. However, due to spiritual, family and cultural pressure, he went on to marry her.

Every time celebrity comes out of the closet, I find comments along the lines of “Why do these people have to let the whole world know they’re gay?” “Do you see straight people coming out to say they’re straight?”

However, when you think about the idea of full disclosure, and the immense heartache that can be saved just from knowing a person’s sexual leanings, you might be forced to agree that coming out is essential to both gay and straight people. To fellow gay people, it is a way of identifying with other gay people, to show solidarity, in a world that doesn’t fully accept them and their lifestyle choices. To straight people, it is a good identifying marker – that way you, as a straight person, don’t spend all your time fasting and praying that Cynthia will one day let you smooch her to both your hearts’ delight. Imagine the world of relief you feel just knowing that David’s constant refusal to press your breasts or kiss you back is not because you’re not one hot sexy vixen, but because he has the hots for Daniel.

Shaming people back into the closet will only give rise to more heartbreaking stories. Or what do you think?

Peace, love & carrot batons.

Toodles!

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Juice Images 

You probably wanna read a fancy bio? But first things first! Atoke published a book titled, +234 - An Awkward Guide to Being Nigerian. It's available on Amazon. ;)  Also available at Roving Heights bookstore. Okay, let's go on to the bio: With a Masters degree in Creative Writing from Swansea University, Atoke hopes to be known as more than just a retired foodie and a FitFam adherent. She can be reached for speechwriting, copywriting, letter writing, script writing, ghost writing  and book reviews by email – [email protected]. She tweets with the handle @atoke_ | Check out her Instagram page @atoke_ and visit her website atoke.com for more information.

44 Comments

  1. missusK

    March 23, 2015 at 9:32 am

    I concur with this article. Though I’m not in support of the whole gay/lesbian situation, I’m liberal enough to know it’s better to allow people go with their beliefs as long as it’s not hurting anyone. Isn’t it better for a man to be openly gay than he marry some innocent woman and the woman battles self esteem issues cuz she thinks he doesn’t find her attractive not knowing it’s not about her…… its really about him.
    When the senate passed the anti-gay law, I wasn’t in support mainly ‘cuz there is freedom of how I choose to live my life. I shouldn’t have to explain if I’m not hurting anyone. Truth is most parents would get over their child being gay. After all the tears and what did we do wrong discussion.

  2. jefka

    March 23, 2015 at 9:47 am

    Atoke my dear, in this Nigeria you dare not come out of that closet, just remain in that closet and it should better be under lock and key else, one busy body might stumble on it and you will be exposed.
    its a pity that most people dont bother to ask alot of questions before getting married, women especially will prefer to close their eyes to a man’s habits or questionable traits just in the bid to answer mrs……
    i know of a couple who are strange (the man is gay and loves little boys while the lady is bisexual) these people married themselves to have a perfect cover……….well, the man got caught one day but left the country with his wife before the police could handle the situation properly, this was in 2011.
    In Nigeria we cannot accept the fact that spme people were born that way, and cannot be persecuted for that, we are not liberal or free thinking, in Nigeria we would rather focus on the problem rather on the solution. all these wahala stems from the home and as we grow we are set in our ways.
    not every gay person is a ritualist biko……………..lets stop coming down hard on gay people, just because we are rather fortunate to be heterosexual, its not easy being gay, they have feelings and get hurt too.
    A great week to my beloved BN family, you guys make living in Nigeria fun.

    • T

      March 23, 2015 at 11:20 am

      Urm sorry but…..what exactly do you mean by he “loves little boys”!!??? I sincerely hope you do not mean he is a pedophile?? Because you said it in such a casual way

    • adeola

      March 23, 2015 at 12:29 pm

      Help me ask am abeg

    • Nahum

      March 23, 2015 at 1:01 pm

      Thank God you asked that. When did pedophilia become a casual subject? The man should be arrested and hung by his testicles!!!

    • Africhic

      March 23, 2015 at 4:15 pm

      Someone that loves little boys is not gay. he is a peadophile!

    • Africhic

      March 23, 2015 at 4:15 pm

      ******pedophile…….

  3. Carliforniabawlar

    March 23, 2015 at 9:59 am

    Hmmm….. We constantly give accounts of gay men….abeg for all my sisters that went to FGGCs….abeg where did all the lesbians disappear to?! It’s like writing waec is the cure for lesbianism in Naija….hehehehe. One of my friends argued that it was just a phase and most chicks have outgrown it already (could one outgrow sexual orientation?) Well,I almost bought that theory until January when my friend gisted her husband’s friend caught his wife and her (ex) alove, both of them former Shaggy babes, doing the do in the guest room. My country people this was 12yrs after graduation o! Hmmmn hmmmn (Pheadra Parks style).

    On another note, my friend and I went ahead to discuss something she read about called SSA (same sex attraction). Apparently you can be attracted to the same sex and actively chose to not act on it for whatever reasons….I been think say it’s called being on the DL….but nope…there’s actually an official name for it now…lol. The difference I guess is in the fact that they don’t lie about their sexuality, they get married, stay committed and choose not to cheat…neither with nor women, just as any (sane) heterosexual person.

    • D

      March 23, 2015 at 2:35 pm

      @ Californiabawlar, I have thought the same thing about FGGC Babes ooo… I did not go to FGGC or an all girls school but my sister did and the gist she used to bring home to us. Choi!!!! Again I ask are the “situations” confused???? or as you put it maybe it is SSA syndrome going around but wait o yet these girls when they see guys na so ear go stand like dog wey scent bone. I personally think being bi is just being greedy, i.e, you want to have it alllllllllllllllllllll…This is a personal opinion

  4. Yamaha

    March 23, 2015 at 10:22 am

    Oh! Yamaha is so in support of this article! Not because Yamaha cares if gay people lived or died but because Yamaha needs to filter some suspected gay hunks from her nightly fantasies#wink# Okay to be sincere, Yamaha also needs them to strictly keeps the AIDS among themselves and within their community. And yes! Yamaha is aware that straight people have AIDS, so puleeeese rebuttal with something I don’t know #rollseyes# Fact: homosexual have the highest infection rate and are the highest risk.

    Yamaha actually wants them to decriminalize homosexuality in Nigeria. She seriously doesn’t think its fair. Everybody is entitled to the life they want and can afford. Even God gave us a choice. To choose between good and evil. And Paul said in chapter 1 vs 10 of his letter to the Corinthians ” all things are lawful, but not all things are expedient. All things are lawful but not all this edifying.” I quote with emphasis on the lawful. Meaning that even Paul acknowledged that human beings can do all things as long as they please but not all the things that are “lawful” is good for the soul.It is left for individuals to choose what is expedient, edifying and good for the soul keeping in mind what might be after death.

    So therefore, NIGERIA decriminalize homosexuality now!!! But one thing that cannot be criminalized is what people personally feel about homosexuality. So please awon gay people, if it so happens that they decriminalize this nonsense law, please stay in your lane, okay. Don’t be forcing people to like you. And be careful not be in the space of those that despise you. It’s how they feel, they can’t change it. Afterall we were all born this way, right?

    • Nahum

      March 23, 2015 at 12:57 pm

      LMAO!!! I swear this chick is nuts!! But really though, by shaming gay people back into the closet, we are not doing society any good. We are just forcing innocent, unsuspecting spouses to marry these people and suffer in silence with them. Both the homosexual and his/her partner deserve the right to live in happiness. They are human beings

  5. adeola

    March 23, 2015 at 12:33 pm

    loool,……as they claim they were born that way, so also are some born to hate on them

  6. C'est moi

    March 23, 2015 at 1:33 pm

    Just read the Nigerian act and I have to disagree that homosexuality is ‘against the order of nature.’
    .
    Sex in humans (& a few select animals) is not just for procreation but for sexual pleasure. Modern man only procreates 2.4 times. Sexual pleasure is ongoing & is one of our few organic biologically given needs. Before the theists came with their dogma & sanctioned sex, NATURE meant us to enjoy & find pleasure in sex, and NATURE has provided us with the means for mono, hetro & homosexual pleasure too without need for countless offspring.
    .
    In men, the male G spot (the prostrate) & one of the most erogenous zones on the male anatomy can only be accessed via the anus, thus enabling and facilitating sex amongst men. For men this is apparently more pleasurable for them than vaginal sex. Women, you aren’t closed off so google if you want know how to use it (partner permitting).
    .
    Secondly, very few women actually orgasm or even find pleasure via penetrative sex (~75% don’t). But clitoral stimulation (sans peen) is far more effective for achieving orgasm. This can be viewed as a) nature enabling women to pleasure themselves be it out of instinctual desire (lesbians) or necessity, in times of male shortage or whatever (aka FGCC boarders identify yourselves hehe). B) coupled with hetero anal sex, a means for couples to enjoy sexual pleasure in the pre-condom era.
    .
    Thirdly, your tastes and choice of partner is intrinsic to you and something you just acquire and grow into with age. You find yourself fancying tall slim guys, or muscular gym bodies, small pert boobies instead of the more buxom kind, some guys are more into legs, some women like their men very dark etc Either way, you weren’t coached into such tastes, many can’t even explain why they like xyz, you just say it is part of your nature, you are just drawn to x. The same applies to sexuality, whether you fancy boys or girls is something you just naturally acquire & grow into as you become sexually aware, as you come of age. Those who say no one is born gay; well no one is born heterosexual either…
    .
    Thus, along with our other erogenous zones, NATURE PROVIDES THE MEANS for us humans to fulfil our instinctual need for sexual pleasure. This can be achieved intrinsically via masturbation and extrinsically with either the same sex or opposite.

    • Free Spirit

      March 23, 2015 at 2:17 pm

      I loved this a 100 times over.

    • misscircumcised

      March 23, 2015 at 4:41 pm

      Is it not the clitoria that is cut off when a female is circumcised? What can a female without do to enjoy sex better if they don’t have it?

    • C'est moi

      March 23, 2015 at 5:46 pm

      Discover your other erogenous zones, there’s more to sensual pleasure than the bosom & crotch. Some get off having their toes sucked or ears licked. And for women a lot starts in the mind (that’s why they still haven’t been able to come up with a female viagra), turn on the mind and the body will followw… If funds permit, there is reconstructive surgery, read docs can take skin/nerves from other erogenous zones and transplant it on the cut hood

    • Animal Doctor

      March 23, 2015 at 8:23 pm

      C’est moi, Na people like you devil dey use yarn dust. Which day did the prostrate become the gspot for men biko?! U now tried to convey the message in scientific terms as if it’s true. The male gspot is the underside of the tip of his penis, shikena!

      Any man who is in a horny state and sees Jlo’s bum and instead of fantasizing about what it will feel like in there, is thinking of having Goliath’s rod in contact with his prostrate, there is something seriously wrong with him. I don’t believe that person should be discriminated or harmed for that condition, but that person needs help seriously.

    • *curious*

      March 23, 2015 at 8:55 pm

      lol. she probably read it off a LGBT-funded website.
      Men, do you get aroused when you get digital rectal exams, which stimulates the prostate even more than a penis in the anus would simply because the doctor’s fingers are in there for the sole purpose of feeling the prostate for enlargement or cancerous nodules?

    • C'est moi

      March 23, 2015 at 9:32 pm

      Google is your friend & thank me later be you f /m

    • *curious*

      March 23, 2015 at 8:47 pm

      I sometimes wonder if a group of homosexuals were put on an island and they are not procreating, what would become of them in let’s say 200 years? Who will take care of them when they are old?

    • C'est moi

      March 23, 2015 at 9:42 pm

      That isn’t very hard to imagine…& no I didn’t read about it from a LGBT site. It was initially cosmo and men’s health mags then later empirically 😉 Surprised more don’t know about the prostrate, turns men to putty. Are you bi-curious?

    • *curious*

      March 23, 2015 at 10:23 pm

      When you give a presentation, do you make your listening audience google your references? Please provide a link so we can all gain quick access to your reference of knowledge. 😀

    • C'est moi

      March 24, 2015 at 2:29 pm

      I’m commenting on a blog not writing a bleeding thesis or presentation. If you are curious go find out for yourself, you learn & retain info better when you look things up for yourself.

    • *curious*

      March 23, 2015 at 10:38 pm

      Bi-curious ke? Never that boo boo. Just against homosexuality, that’s all and simply presenting some questions they
      they should be asking themselves. For the advocates, if their parents were homosexuals, they wouldn’t be alive to advocate.

  7. tunmi

    March 23, 2015 at 1:41 pm

    I don’t know what to say sef. From the one saying new infections rates are high in homosexual couples. That’s a lie, it’s highest among heterosexual…wait for it…WOMEN mainly because of the men we trust so darn much who sleep around with other…wait for it…WOMEN.

    I agree with the article. Naija is just screwed. An overwhelming percentage of the population agreed with this. And if you ask them why, I can just see them saying “the bible says…” Since Nigerians can’t think for themselves, I say the religious leaders should step in and help. The bottom line is that these are fellow Nigerians. If you don’t like gay people, as some people don’t like Yoruba people, don’t interact with then. One day, you will have to address your bias, but don’t enforce or support discrimination practices because of that.

  8. Sabifok

    March 23, 2015 at 2:10 pm

    Nice article Atoke.

    “Criminalizing” homosexuality starts from youth. When I was in secondary (and I went to an all boys one), an SS3 student was caught proding a junior to fellate him in a dingy bathroom stall. That SS3 student had priors – he was guilty of probing or touching junior boys inappropriately in their sleep. This SS3 was beaten by other students including prefects and classmates to within an inch of his life. He was made to stand on the dining hall table in the presence of all the boarders (which is a huge humiliation). The senior boarding house master came in, and abused him too. He was suspended from boarding house and his surname became a verb for the act of man on man.

    I feel that the issue of homosexuality in Nigeria, goes deeper than whether our government is doing the right thing by criminalizing the act or not. If that draconian law is recinded today, will homosexual persons be allowed to integrate into society and to what extent. Will gay marriages ever be accepted, and if so, what about gay adoptions? Nigeria is a place where some people of certain social classes, ethnicities, or even women are not accorded full rights at the seat of our national table, so how will homosexuals be catered for. Would you agree to be examined or see a doctor if you knew he was a homosexual. Would you allow your kids play with one? Would you vote one into office? Or allow your child attend a school where the male principal likes prick?

    These are some of the issues that prevent many from coming out of the closet. This is a country where even some medical illnesses are stigmatized. My uncle had a stroke, and his wife hid it because people would say he had run mad. Now I hate the act of homosexuality because I can never understand it, neither do I want to. But I feel like I have to right to make a criminal of someone who does it. Unless they brought it near me, then I will break their heads with a pestle. I also hate the fact that some gay people wear their sexuality on their sleeve, as if everything in the world should hinge on whether your are straight or gay.

    I once saw two men kissing in Leicester Square in Jand, at night, and it repulsed me to no end.

    • Nahum

      March 23, 2015 at 2:47 pm

      Hmm…I am sorry but I think the reason why the SS3 student was beaten up so badly has more to do with the fact that he was sexually ABUSING a junior. He used his position to try and force a junior to perform a sexual act against his will. It would have been less horrendous if it was two consensual SS3 students.

    • S!

      March 23, 2015 at 3:00 pm

      I liked your comment oh.
      I also understand that some gay people like to wear their sexuality on their sleeves which also irritates me.
      But what I don’t understand is how their PDA affects you. If you glanced at them kissing turn your head another way. And the fact that they are so many gay characters now in TV have you not ever seen two men kiss before? Don’t you watch TV shows? If a man and woman can kiss in public I see no reason why a man & man can’t kiss in a place where it is legal.
      Maybe it disturbed you because you have some unresolved emotions/feelings/attraction towards someone*

    • anonymous

      March 23, 2015 at 3:11 pm

      Bros, abeg, what you just described (re: ss3 boy) ain’t homosexuality. It is akin to rape, pedophilia and abuse of power as the junior boys didn’t give their consent. Maybe the boy is gay but there are other ways to expend your sexual energy without traumatizing boys who are under the age of consent.

    • Animal Doctor

      March 23, 2015 at 8:40 pm

      I really can’t understand how/why the general public is now trying to rationalize this issue of homosexuality and make it a legal thing. IT IS WRONG! That is the bottomline. I see it as similar to taking drugs in a way – I don’t believe it should be criminalized or people should be punished for it, but it should definitely not be allowed to be generally acceptable and they should hide and do their thing indoors. I personally would be less repulsed by someone smoking crack cocaine than 2 men kissing in the same train carriage as me,

  9. D

    March 23, 2015 at 2:23 pm

    So I read the piece on HONY and I know there many people arguing about them seeing it coming and not seeing it coming, I personally did not see that coming at ALLL… but nevertheless, it is not about me but yea it made me realize how selfish we can be as humans. I have always asked when people “come out” after dating and screwing individuals of the opposite sex for years and then decide they are homosexuals, I wonder if their “situations” were confused all this while….to be able to be turned on to mate and even sometimes procreate. The piece also made realize that although the society praises such behavior, that is, coming out, we never stop to think how it affects the other party. It is has bad as a spouse finding out that your partner for whatever length of time cheated on you, and while we do not hesitate to see the selfishness in the case of a cheating spouse we seem to somehow ignore the selfishness and injustice the straight partner has been dealt with. Then i read people saying “ohhh but you have a friend for life” I yammm sorrry ooo…. friend gini??? will you befriend your cheating ex-partner??? It is so sad and the truth is we all deal with insecurities one way or the other, we all just hope and pray that God gives us that partner that will love us flaws and all, the good, the bad and the ugly, if it is not Maltex syndrome, it is Michelin tire syndrome or some it is they are too tall, too rich, too educated, too assertive, and the list is endless…

  10. sass

    March 23, 2015 at 3:22 pm

    This is the problem when too many Nigerians go abroad to study, they now come back and be yarning dust. Homosexuality is a crime in Nigeria, deal with. Just like how bigamy is a crime in the west as legitimately you can’t have two wives but in naij you are allowed to we have chosen our path.
    All the people trying to form brand new, please tell me you don’t feel uncomfortable watching two people of the same sex making out. It is wrong in every way.
    Homosexuals need to give this topic a rest. It is not permitted in naij. Stay in your damn closet and if you are so sure of who you are stay single for life but have your partner, no one will query you. Stop deceiving yourself with the whole I was pressured to marry bs, tell your parents you don’t want to and keep it moving. Awon oloju kokoro. Want to eat your cake and have it.

    • C'est moi

      March 23, 2015 at 5:11 pm

      It is only ‘wrong’ to you because of the environment you were brought up in. Stripping that aside, what exactly is ‘wrong’ about it? What is wrong with being in love with the same sex? I’d imagine some would just be as uncomfortable watching hetro couples make out as a gay one only because it isn’t what you are used to seeing. In other societies it is very much the norm, I recall reading when the missionaries discovered one of the Polynesian islands (can remember which one), they nicknamed it Eden because it was so beautiful & naturally lush, the people were all naked lived in such peaceful harmony. But! They publicly had sex, straight & gay sex; it was their norm, until the Christians came with their bras & bibles to civilize the heathen. At the time, back in Europe, these same Europeans who thought they knew better & had come to spread their gospel of ‘love’ & forgiveness were hanging their own homosexuals.
      .
      On the subject of laws, please do not deride yourself with the intellectually challenged unless you are indeed so. Bad laws are the worst form of tyranny and should be repelled. The Nazi’s Nuremberg laws forbade marriage and sex with Jews, Jim Crow laws were enacted to keep the blacks segregated, in England marital rape was only decriminalized in 1982! Because it is the law doesn’t make it right, good should be done for goodness sake and people should stop using religion as a yardstick because you end with bad laws like the Nigerian homosexuality act.

    • sass

      March 23, 2015 at 5:44 pm

      Erm pls what enviroment are you talking about. I went to school in england at a tender age, i have homosexual friends and they know where I stand on the issue of their sexuality, it is SiCK. If they were sure what they are doing is ok they won’t feel the struggle to come out cos it will be normal. Most of them know it is abnormal trust me but cos of the damned media that makes it look cool they be there forming scrap. If i even catch anyone i know i will slap you till you become straight. Such disgusting behaviour. Hiss. Before you know kids are confused, why I got 2 daddies.

    • Yamaha

      March 23, 2015 at 6:01 pm

      Yamaha loves You!!!!!! But Yamaha is a Canadian university graduate and she’s offended by your first sentence. But she still gets the point you’re making! Sass you’re the ish! But Yamaha really thinks 14yrs is too much sha. But then again after she read comments and put on her thinking cap, she has come to the conclusion that it might be best to keep the law as it is for now.

      Awon I love my fellow men and I love my fellow women, if they decriminalize it, the discrimination you guys would face would be enormous. Trust Yamaha. Canadians never had any law against homosexuality and its practice yet some teens and young adults take themselves back to Mother Earth(kill) when they discover their sexuality. Mind you, Canada is at the echelon of development in all ramifications. So Yamaha thinks they should keep the law this way at least until NIGERIA has solved other pressing issues and is ready to move on from religious dogma. Trust Yamaha, if homos are allowed to walk freely in Nigeria without fear of arrest or jail time, most wouldn’t be going back home. They would be killed by homophobes. So you see the government might still have your interest at heart. Highly likely though.

      Yeah, yamaha actually commented again to vent! Can you imagine, Yamaha went to thread her eyebrows today. Only for Yamaha to get there and find out her usual lady that threads is ill. Yamaha was skeptical but she allowed the other Chinese lady thread her brows. Guess what? Yamaha’s brows are non existent anymore!!! How does one go into a salon and come out without brows. God really knew what he was doing creating us. This lack of brows has changed Yamaha’s face. She is still beautiful though as usual just with a little kink #winks#
      On the bright side Yamaha is going to use it to test her bf’s love for her #grins#. They are going out to dinner tonight and she wants to see his reaction to her “browlessness” She is not even touching the hairless brows to fix it for the dinner tonight. Hehehehehe tonight is tonightly.everrything frweeessssshhhh from nature God!

    • Blackbeauty

      March 24, 2015 at 8:25 am

      ROTFL…. Yamaha needs a doctor. You’re crazy but in a good way. Cant stop laughing. You have to tell us how he reacted.

    • curiousity

      March 27, 2015 at 5:36 pm

      Out of curiousity, …why all this ” third person talk”, oh great and knowledgeable one?

  11. nene

    March 23, 2015 at 5:28 pm

    gbam.

  12. whatwillbewillbe

    March 23, 2015 at 6:01 pm

    Actually, if you are married under the Marriage Act in Nigeria ( and most people who go on to celebrate ‘white wedding’ are), you CANNOT get married to another while the first marriage is still subsisting. The fact that we do not challenge the bigamy that happens so randomly doesn’t mean it is lawful.
    My take on this Homo thing is I believe it is wrong, I also believe that I cannot Judge. People rush to quote the passages in the Bible where homosexuality is a sin conveniently forgetting that fornication and other sins were listed there as well. They also conveniently forget that there is no small or big sin, Sin is sin is sin. I would suggest that we try to focus on their own lives and if you must do anything about the situations, talk to the person in love and keep praying for the person, and I don’t mean only homos.

    • sass

      March 23, 2015 at 8:13 pm

      My dear that the way I type is scrappy is because I am in an environment where I have to be so prim and proper all the time the internet is the only place I can write ghetto. My point is believe it or not I am a lawyer so I get what you mean under the marriage act you can’t marry twice, but I am guessing you know what the flip side is? If you didn’t marry under the act you can marry twice. So yeh “bigamy” is allowed in nigeria, homosexuality isn’t. If you don’t like the law you can move.
      The problem with these people who are constantly advocating an alternative lifestyle is where to draw the fordamucking line.
      Did you hear of the woman who married a tree? The one who married the berlin wall? Or those that are now clamouring to marry animals. Once you open that gate best believe there is gonna be an unending flood.

  13. me

    March 24, 2015 at 6:58 pm

    What about the those of us that wants to marry our parents? Who will fight for us? Can we join you people our dear LGBT crusaders, just add our little I” for incest to your acronym, we need people to fight for us, we didnt choose to love our parents, we opened our eyes and noticed we could only love our parents *sobs* Oriegwu!!

  14. ComingOut

    March 25, 2015 at 3:24 pm

    i totally love this write up. so apt and so on point..

  15. phoenix

    March 27, 2015 at 10:10 pm

    So sass’s comment got me really laughing, esp the part that says ‘slap you till you become straight’.

  16. cee

    March 30, 2015 at 9:47 am

    and Bruno said nothing…hmmm

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