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BN Prose: My Stingy Husband by Fisayo Talabi

Fisayo Talabi

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The wind of the evening pushed the branch of the tree planted right behind their window. The sound of the branch together with the howl of the wind caused Sandra to unconsciously jolt from her nap. She had dozed off about twenty minutes ago. The windows were shut and the tripartite blades of the standing fan had stopped rolling. Mike was across the room, sucking on a piece of cow leg covered in ewedu. She had served a piece of beef and a piece of Pomo alongside. Those had vanished into the pits of her husband’s stomach.

“I thought you would have finished eating. I didn’t even know when I slept off.” Sandra said, looking at her husband.

“No o. This your meal is so delicious. I am mising it.” He replied. “You are a good wife.”

She shook her head, not surprised at his response. “Thank you, Mike, you are a good husband.” She replied.
She got up to pack his tray of plates as soon as he was finally done with the food and took them to the kitchen to wash.
When she got back to the living room, she saw that he had taken off his shirt. He was starting to feel hot because the windows were shut and the room was beginning to get stuffy.

“I don’t think Nepa will bring this light soon o.” She said.

“Well, let us hope they will.” He replied.

“But we have fuel. Let us put on the generator.”

He suddenly started to frown.

“This is the problem I have with you, Sandra. You are too wasteful. Other women are prudent and help the husband to save money.” He yelled.

She laughed, remembering how he had just called her a good wife barely thirty minutes ago. She headed for the bedroom and opened the window a bit then she changed into lighter clothing because she knew there was no hope coming forth from either Nepa or her husband.

***

Her husband; the man she had agreed to marry. He was a man of his own customized character and she had really tried to understand his personality but maybe she couldn’t; so she decided to adopt the best approach – to ignore him.

In the earlier days of their marriage, she had always made a fuss about his behaviour and had wondered how she ever ended up with such a man. First, he told her that there was no need for a honeymoon and that it was better if they channeled the funds into acquiring assets as a new family. Next, he told her that he couldn’t continue to subscribe for the full bouquet of cable TV so they had no choice but to watch about six channels only, only three of which were actually worth watching.

She had wanted to get a job before she got married but her mother had gone on and on about how important it was for a woman to get married so she could raise her babies early. Her mother had said she would find a job later. Besides, her husband was a rich business man. She wouldn’t have to suffer. She eventually got a job even though the pay was not much. The minute her husband knew about this, he stopped paying for cable. He said he hardly watched tv. So she had to pay. He also cut the monthly upkeep allowance by thirty thousand Naira without any reasonable explanation.

When she had their son Nnamdi, he had been so overwhelmed with joy and he had made a promise before all the family and friends at the baby dedication that he would buy her a Range Rover. She laughed at that one because she knew it wouldn’t happen. And when the child clocked one, she was still driving her beat up Baby Boy.

She knew that Mike was not an unfaithful husband. No. He was not a cheat. She had a Ph.d in snooping and investigation and she had trailed his every move. She knew for sure he had no mistress by the side. He had even said it once that he wondered how men who cheated survived knowing that they would have to fund two women.

The unbeatable and most alarming was the day he had counted the pieces of meat she put in the stew. He said he was not getting the value of the soup money he was dropping! Sandra had reminded him that they had a son to feed and she also had to eat. And then he had said those unforgettable words;
“Nnamdi is still a child. He does not need too much meat. Give him half piece from now on, Biko.”

***

It was Saturday. Her husband had to go to work because he had a meeting to attend. He had called her later on and informed her that he was coming home with some of his business partners to unwind and discuss in a more relaxed environment. She wondered why he didn’t just take them to a good hotel. He had been renovating the house and surprisingly had paid for the full cable TV they were once privy to. He had specifically asked her to make goat meat pepper soup, Jollof rice, salad and many other things. He had even praised her and called her Ezigbo Nwunye. He had sent a hundred and fifty thousand Naira through his driver earlier in the day and ordered him to drive her to the market.

It was 4.15pm when she heard the security man open the gate and a couple of big cars followed the other into their driveway. As the men walked into the house and settled in the living room, she came out to greet them. As her husband was still introducing her with all the accolades he never said when they were alone, Nepa decided to act with initiative and in the twinkle of an eye, power was interrupted.

“Wow. They only just brought the light thirty minutes ago. And now they have taken it again.” She said, shaking her head.

She hurried into the kitchen and came back with drinks for the guests. As she served them, she started to explain.

“Please manage the drinks. There hasn’t been light since and my husband does not like to switch on the generator. He thinks it’s wasteful of me.” She said.

She saw the rage rise in her husband’s eyes but because there were guests, he held his peace.

“I’m sorry gentlemen. Let me ask the security man to put on the generator.” Mike said to his guests. Sandra interjected immediately.

“Oh we are out of fuel too. I asked him for money the last time but he refused. He said the weather was cool enough and the day was bright enough so we did not need electricity.” She said innocently.

“Can we have some food please. I am starving. Your husband has watered my appetite already with how good a cook you are.” One of the men said.

“Oh, certainly!” Sandra said excitedly as she rushed into the kitchen. Then she returned with plates of biscuits, groundnut and chin-chin.

“How nice! You brought us something to get our mouths busy before the main course.” Another of the men said.

Sandra laughed, her gaze not shifting from her husband.

“No, that’s the starter, main course and dessert. That’s what we have at home.” She said.

Mike couldn’t take it anymore.

“I gave you money to get this done, Sandra!” He yelled.

She moved a step closer to him and placed her hand on his broad shoulders.

“I’m using the money for our son’s birthday party. The one you promised to throw him eight months ago.” She said, planting a kiss on his forehead and walking out.

“Enjoy your meeting!” She called out to the men as she closed the door behind her.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Bruno Monteny

Fisayo Talabi is a lawyer with an absolute zeal for writing short stories. olufisayotalabi.blogspot.com @fisilicious on Twitter @fisayotalabi on Instagram

49 Comments

  1. Tolu

    October 20, 2015 at 7:56 am

    Nice article dear!
    I can imagine having a very stingy person in your world. It will drive you crazy. I’ve dated an extremely greedy and selfish girl before, I bet you it’s so disgusting. Now imagining a man being stingy to his own home, it might be killing. Although I think both parties( since they’re married) having a monthly financial plans based on the income might help to reduce the rate of misunderstanding.
    ??

  2. onyx

    October 20, 2015 at 7:58 am

    This piece right here should be titled ‘ghen ghen’

  3. Mzphunby

    October 20, 2015 at 8:08 am

    Lol… Nw that gt me laughing really hard. Subtle ways of dealing wit pple like that.

  4. olayemi

    October 20, 2015 at 8:24 am

    Beautiful and very interesting. Looking forward to a time u’l produce a movie. All d best.

  5. zarah oh

    October 20, 2015 at 8:29 am

    Lol at onyx it shld b titled ghen ghen oh. didn’t want the story to end. He will so deal with her ehen. Buh I guess she was fed up.

  6. Great Lady

    October 20, 2015 at 9:00 am

    Woww. ? I really love this. Serves him right.

  7. Nonso

    October 20, 2015 at 9:02 am

    Nicely written. I loved the twist to the story. Moral: Being stingy hurts….Oouch!!!

  8. bruno

    October 20, 2015 at 9:09 am

    of cause, u had to use an igbo family to tell ur story about stingyness. continue propagating stereotypes about a particular group of people miss fisayo talabi. u just couldn’t help ur self couldn’t u. the wife’s name is sandra and the stingy husband’s name is mike and their son’s name is nnamdi

    abi ur story about stingyness wouldn’t have sounded realistic or interesting enough if u used another tribe of people?

    • Farah

      October 20, 2015 at 9:23 am

      Wow! Bruno, u really need to take a chill pill. Not everything is about tribe or race.

    • Salewa

      October 20, 2015 at 9:26 am

      i don’t get. People think Igbo People are stingy?? You’ve extended the stereotyping in your comment. All I saw was a funny story with an Igbo Man. Thanks for letting me know that “Igbo’s are stingy”.

    • Fisayo Talabi

      October 20, 2015 at 9:29 am

      Hi Bruno. Thank you for reading the story and for your comment. Rather than view it as a tribalistic story, kindly view it as a Nigerian or a human story. Much love.

    • Nekky

      October 20, 2015 at 11:20 am

      Hi Fisayo, i kinda feel Bruno. I mean the figurative couple had English names and their son had an Igbo names. Trust me it came across as a subtle shade to the Igbo tribe. You could have used an English name for the son as well.
      I get the humour and as a matter of fact, I enjoyed the story but you can’t take away the fact that Nigerians are overly sensitive when issues of tribe arises. Personally i feel using an Igbo for the son was just a pre-meditated way of dissing Igbos humour or nah!

    • Nekky

      October 20, 2015 at 11:22 am

      Their son had Igbo name* pardon my typos.

    • abby

      October 20, 2015 at 11:14 am

      Sadist! may God heal ur sad life!

    • Marv

      October 20, 2015 at 11:47 am

      oh please Bruno take a back seat. I beg haha. Are you not tired of being such a nuisance? Gosh

  9. They have come again

    October 20, 2015 at 9:12 am

    Fisayo Talabi and her gang,

    Y cant the prose be about my stingy wife? You people are all shades of wrong!

    ladies fit in to this category best.

    >From those who dont make their husband their Next of kin

    >To those who hide their pay slip in the office so the husband doesnt see what they earn

    >To those who specifically buy all the aso ebi, shoes, bags on credit to pay back when salary comes and never contribute anything to their marriage financially

    >To those who whose husband’s salary is their money but her own salary is her money

    >To those who can’t even buy food stuff at home but have to collect from the husband to buy salt, sugar, maggi and menial stuffs

    >To those who cant even buy 2litres of fuel for the generator when the husband is not at home, they must wait for him till he comes (like sandra)

    >To those who can’t even buy undies for themselves, xmas cloth for the kids….

    >To those whose mission in life is to look for a rich man and marry him even though they are jobless

    >To the girlfriends that cant even afford to buy a drink b4 the boyfriend comes to meet them at their scheduled date despite the fact that they are hungry

    >To those who cant even renew their BIS or recharge card except if the boyfriend sends to them

    >To those whose lives are centered around the guy and the man

    >What is the definition of stingy? if not that a lady that depends solely on a man for everything and when she doesn’t get it, she terms it as being stingy?

    >What do you have to offer to your marriage or relationship?

    >A fellow lady like Linda Ikeji is buying a mansion you are here depending on the man for money for recharge card, maggi, salt, shoe, bag, cloth, phone, even your pant and bra

    >Does your life, existence and sustenance depend on a man, boyfriend or husband?

    >I shall never in my life depend on anyone (be it a man or woman) for my sustenance and existence in this world. He or she doesn’t have two heads than myself

    • Natu

      October 20, 2015 at 12:55 pm

      You better preach!!!! Lazy women always waiting for men to buy them things.

    • meji

      October 20, 2015 at 3:28 pm

      I agree with you but I don’t think her intention was to promote laziness. well, for me, I think it was a humourous story void of tribalism or laziness. she even mentioned that the sandra lady had wanted to work but the mother told her to marry. I think its just the typical african stereotype she wrote about. my view though. i enjoyed it

    • Cindy

      October 20, 2015 at 5:27 pm

      And Nigerians as usual totally missed the point of the story. Any one can be stingy whether male or female, agreed. However, this is a prose. It is called fiction. Don’t invalidate it just because you want to be a SJW. That a woman is dependent doesn’t make a stingy man less stingy. Talk of women and dependency is a talk for another day. Today we are talking about “stingy men”. Don’t divert attention unnecessarily.

  10. jane

    October 20, 2015 at 9:22 am

    Hmmmm….this shit is real. My husband is very stringy. It was so bad that I asked him for 5k and he said no, so I went to Saka Tinubu and sold the Samsung galaxy phone he gave me for 50k. Got a tecno for 15k and left with 35k cash. The next day, my husband felt like eating some Chinese food, he took us all to Jade Palace on Adeola Odeku and spent 22k!

    So he had much more than the 5k I needed but didn’t want to give me…I don’t get that!

    Please I need a job. I’ll take ANYTHING.

    nigerwifediary.blogspot.com

    • Dayo

      October 20, 2015 at 3:53 pm

      @jane, so your “stingy” husband bought you a Samsung Galaxy phone that cost that cost more than 50K? Off with that measly miser’s head! SDMH

    • jane

      October 21, 2015 at 5:52 am

      He didn’t buy it. It was given to him. He didn’t like it and bought himself an iPhone. Gave me his ‘reject’.

  11. lyl

    October 20, 2015 at 9:23 am

    He konnot do natin! Bet he didnt see dat coming! Got served a good dose of his own meresin!!!! Loooooooool..

  12. Tunmise

    October 20, 2015 at 10:06 am

    chai?????????

  13. Ada

    October 20, 2015 at 10:08 am

    This piece actually got me scared. This man will kill this woman o! Chi m!

  14. Sadia

    October 20, 2015 at 10:16 am

    Lord i will be a self made woman .Thats my ultimate goal.i cannot and will not depend on a man.Every single asset will be my sweat.Amen!!!Maybe hubby can give me gifts on special occasions.Women standards are changing.Be independent and strong!!!!

  15. beauty

    October 20, 2015 at 10:17 am

    That’s how a friend introduced me to one guy, very very stingy thing. This guy works in one of the big 5 accounting and auditing firms oh, I’m sure the pay is good. He is so stingy ehn, never wanting a pin of his to drop. Since I’m working as well, I always footed my bill. But I knew I never would take him seriously for future purpose because who would foot the bill for expenses like rent, housekeep, children’s fees, maintenance of the home etc if we both end up together. I dusted my shoes and ran, jeez! Sorry for digressing…

    • Blessedheart

      October 20, 2015 at 4:42 pm

      To play the devil’s advocate. Those ‘top’ accounting firms do not pay so well, especially for the early years. He just may not have so much.

    • Maka why?

      October 20, 2015 at 10:52 pm

      And he might be saving up to write ACCA or other professional exams. Not all top accounting firms pay for all professional exams

  16. wumi

    October 20, 2015 at 10:45 am

    Woooowww. Fisayo!!! I love this. Had me laughing by myself here. What a dare

  17. miss Pynk

    October 20, 2015 at 11:10 am

    Nobody should have to deal with a stingy partner- it’s not a good foundation for any union. You will find yourself struggling over inconsequential issues and actually missing out on happiness in the process.

    pynk360.com

  18. cathy

    October 20, 2015 at 11:47 am

    hahahaha mehn d fight after the partners leave no go get part 2…lmao…I can imagine…..I just left a guy who thinks he doesn’t need spend cos everything na waste to him shuu..even to leave tips for servers isn’t a fertile land to sow..smh

  19. Daisy

    October 20, 2015 at 12:34 pm

    pls, some Igbo men r stingy, they make money,but don’t want to spend it……I just think it’s a poverty mentality. My partner is like that,but I know how to handle him.

    • jasmine

      October 20, 2015 at 1:24 pm

      Ur partner is like that and u r still with him? Lol. Like minds attracts my dear. It means u r stingy too. Join Fisayo in instigating fight against igbos, later u guys will shout one Nigeria.

    • LOLO 1

      October 20, 2015 at 2:50 pm

      Gosh. if the writer had called the names a yoruba, you would still say she agrees that ijebu people are stingy. cant we all just get along? instigate fight against ibos really?

    • Daisy

      October 20, 2015 at 4:36 pm

      Gerrarahia…..lady, his my partner I love him,n him been stingy is one not so good of him.
      I am a self made woman, knowing how to handle him,by making my own cash and not depending on him for kobo or dime.

      Btw I am Igbo, and no one is instigating nothing.

  20. ednutey

    October 20, 2015 at 1:34 pm

    To all who saw the Igbo association,y do u always have to bring tribe into everything now…y????
    If u didnt see igbo,u wld have ‘chosen’ to see something else.

    Fisayo,nice write-up,that’s the perfect way to treat a man’s f-up!!!!Choi! Very epic!

  21. Sassy

    October 20, 2015 at 3:49 pm

    Ppl need to take several seats and drink some lacasera, the story is for humor purposes only, it’s not a life story or a freaking documentary on a particular tribe, it’s humor so calm down and stop turning everything into a debate…appreciate the art form and if you can’t no one put a gun to your head to read the story biko. The same free will you used to read the story kindly use it to do us a favor pls…….gerrahia! Thanks Fisayo for the story, I look forward to more from you 🙂

    • ode ni e Sassy

      October 20, 2015 at 4:36 pm

      Sassy, ode ni e

  22. Ada

    October 20, 2015 at 4:33 pm

    I read other people’s comments and am like “for real?”. This is just a story for crying out loud. y’all like to take things too serious! jeez. You would be surprise to discover that some ladies do actually face this kind of situation in their homes no matter how rich their husabnds may be.
    I read the end of it and i was like “correct!!!” but noooo people will alays want to make a big deal out it.

    It is an article, read, enjoy and move on…

  23. The real D

    October 20, 2015 at 7:48 pm

    Growing up we always considered my dad stingy, he was a “big man” in a federal establishment but that never bothered him, he would not buy clothes for himself not to mention anybody else. He always gave us money for lunch on school days and yet we were always late getting to school because we had to beg and tell story to get that money every morning. My mum however was the opposite, she spends as she gets and she realized pretty early on in their marriage that she had better work and earn her own money if she wanted anything for herself.
    Recently, however, I was discussing with my sister about how glad I was that we (kids) had learned the art of giving and I said “then there is daddy” but this time my sister paused and said daddy was NOT stingy. I thought ok shei no be the same house we grow ??and we have always agreed on this since we were kids. She then made some valid points. My dad was born into a polygamous home and his father only sent the first son of each wife to school, it is left to the one son to sort us his remaining siblings. Yes, my dad was the first son of his mum so it fell on him to take care of both his elder sister and younger siblings, which he did but you know our 9Ja people he ended up taking care of not only his siblings but all of their kids too (my cousins) even those that were not related biologically (adopted by marriage,one of his brother’s married a woman that had kids from a previous relationship). In fact, he is currently having to pay for the schooling of one of my cousin’s 2 boys.
    My mum on the other is the only child of her mum and although are dad was a polygamist, she never lived with him so all she ever had to worry about was herself.
    My sister made me realize that in his own way my dad gave (ensuring all his siblings and their children got the education they selected) and sometimes it is always good to consider the situation that some people not only grew up in but the responsibility they face before placing a label on them. My dad had learned to be “prudent” because he had always been aware of the responsibility he had to bear. Who knows if mum would have been as giving as she is if she had similar responsibilities. That’s one reason why I believe they are a good match.

  24. melinda

    October 21, 2015 at 11:29 am

    Rubbish Man, u dont want ur son to eat a big piece of meat, but u have 150k to lavish for just a meeting…. Good for u. All the stingy men out there how fa?

  25. Lady Cate of Nigeria

    October 23, 2015 at 10:13 pm

    Fisayo! I enjoyed the story. The wife though, would she have the ‘liver’ to do that to her husband with such important guests?

  26. Nene

    October 24, 2015 at 1:31 pm

    Wonderful, brilliant and funny…..way to go fisco

  27. Jane

    October 24, 2015 at 5:56 pm

    Lovely story. But i don’t blame those citing tribal jabs. Truth is when you are writing you have to consider all those things. dats why i like the guys at dnb stories site, the fiction i read there is more unifying and doesnt poke sharp objects at any tribe or gender.

  28. jensta

    October 31, 2015 at 10:24 pm

    i enjoyed every bit of it…. felt like i was having a conversation…

  29. precious

    November 7, 2015 at 12:20 pm

    Nice

  30. Sapphire

    March 16, 2016 at 10:11 am

    lol! see embarrassment

  31. Please i beg you

    April 19, 2016 at 8:31 pm

    Dear Fisayo, on January 28th 2014 to be precise you wrote a story that BN featured on here called “A faith of Twists” and i have not been able to get it out of my head please i need to know how that story ends. Please a good writer always concludes it’s not fair at all i even sent you a mail begging you to complete it. please help us end it, its been 2 years and i still wonder about that story i need CLOSURE!!!!!

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