#BN2015Epilogues: For Damola, 2015 Made Her Bend But It Didn’t Break Her

Happy new year to all our readers! As promised, we are continuing the 2015 Epilogues due to the volume of responses we got. We’d like to thank every one who sent an entry, and if you sent your story before the 15th of December 2015, you will see it published on BellaNaija.

If you’re reading this and wondering, ‘What on earth is the series about?’ please catch up HERE.

Today, we’re sharing Damola‘s story in which she describes her year as a palm tree. Her poignant words are inspiring: “I’m still on a journey, and far from perfect, but I love where I am at this point in life.”

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I guess I can describe the joy I felt on the night of November 30th, 2015. Oh my! I was happy! Finally, December is here! It was not because of Christmas, I’m just glad to be over and done with this year. I know I sound weird, but let me tell you my story.

So on the night of December 31st, 2014, I was not happy about the coming year- 2015. I bet you might be thinking “You jinxed your year.” Maybe I did, maybe I did not. I remember that tension, and wondering why I was so sad, the day before the New Year… a time you should be excited. I forced myself to upload that end of the year Instagram pic, and felt my mood will catch up with my caption.

Come 2015, I dealt with separation, my mum was transferred to another city (yet again), by her organisation. It has been the norm for a while, but when you get used to having someone around, and they go away- the family dynamic is interrupted. Yet, that was the least of what the year had in store. I obtained my Master’s Degree (Halleluyah!), however, my mum got sick…really sick, few days after my graduation. I lost my grandfather (thank God he was 93 years old), the love life meter had plunged from seemingly full to borderline empty, and I had been thrown into the “what to do next after school” phase.

Speaking extensively on these matters; I was supposed to serve but because of the elections, I did not apply for reposting. On the other hand, I tried applying for jobs outside the country (related to my field), and even lost track of applications. I got rejected several times- some employers were “kind” enough to respond to my application, and send a rejection email, while it was radio silence from some. I wondered when “experience” would say yes to me. My love life was complicated – more than I had imagined, more than I could bear. My mum got better gradually, she went for so many tests at the hospital, and every time was referred for more tests. The funny thing is they didn’t find much, even though the doctors took a sample of every type of fluid in her body. Emotionally, I wore out, and became numb. At this point, I was living on auto-pilot…that moment when you keep doing everything like clockwork, and pay zero attention to how you really feel.

I got back home, and just kept on living my life. Some days were good, other days were not. I have never felt such stretch (mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually) in my life. I reached my limit, and all I could do was hold on to my faith, as everything else seemed to act like the weather. Long story short, things have started to take shape – I am currently serving. Not all of my expectations have come to pass, but I have numerous things to be grateful for.

I travelled far and wide, got to meet different people and saw the world/life in a new way. I experienced so many miracles – like the moment I was looking for my phone: we had driven round the busy Ring Road-Alalubosa area, going to spots where I might have left it…the entire time it was on the roof of the car, by the right back door, and did not drop, or worse get stolen. Mum was declared whole; things are good in the boo area; my girl got married… Something good has happened in the life of everyone I love ☺.

I’m still on a journey, and far from perfect, but I love where I am at this point in life. This year, I learnt (by experience) the meaning of perseverance, patience and faith. My perspective about life changed a whole lot. I used to think that a relationship that was supposed to work, will work; however, I realised that sometimes it’s the good ones you have to fight for. I also realised that it is not about hard work alone, but the One that blesses your efforts. I learnt the art of not having a reaction to everything and everyone. I learnt how to pay close attention to my instincts – still struggling with that one. I learnt how to listen – you learn a whole lot by doing that, and you tend not to say something stupid.

At some point, I told myself, I’ve come too far to look back, and can only move forward. I think that was my turning point. My dreams are catching up with my reality, and I’m extremely excited for 2016. That would be my year of settlement.

My words of encouragement:
1. Never underestimate your miracles. Once you start being happy about the little things, the big things will follow.

2. Enjoy your waiting period. It’s not easy, and you have to wait anyways, so why not enjoy it? Patience is not when you wait, but how you wait.

3. Keep moving! If you are on the wrong road take the next available turn, but just keep moving.

I feel 2015 has prepared me for what is ahead. The days I cried; the moments I felt my heart break, and my chest physically hurt; the days I plastered a smile and could not tell a soul how close I was to giving up; the moments I was confused on what next to do; the many times I was rejected… all that and many more, taught me resilience.
Cheers to the ones that God used to encourage, teach or just be there for me, you might not know how – God bless you, and I love you.

Final word- “Like the palm tree, bend all the way but never break.”

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Leonardo2012