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Olajumoke Awosemo: Our Yoruba Men or General Cheating Demons?

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dreamstime_l_37429086If you are Nigerian or strongly affiliated with the Nigerian related social media news, then you may have noticed the recent trend of pictures and memes directed at Yoruba boys on Twitter, Instagram and other social media platforms. The most usual allegations against these boys are those of cheating, lying and other terrible manly characters you can imagine.

I have no idea how and when this trend began, but it seems like it has become an established fact that Yoruba boys are relationship demons. I find some of the memes hilarious, but do I think that these allegations are true? Perhaps and maybe even perhaps not! Are Yoruba boys the only boys who lie and deceive girls? Definitely not!

The question then is – why are Yoruba boys suddenly labeled as cheats among all the boys of the numerous tribes in Nigeria? What has tribe got to do with cheating? If a man would cheat, he would – regardless of who he is and where he is from.

No woman can claim to 100% be able to spot a man who is prone to infidelity at a first glance but sometimes the telltale signs are glaring at us but we often choose to ignore or be oblivion to these signals.

I am in no way generalizing; but let’s take a look at this list of men who might have a roving eye or worse:

The one with the influencing pals
A recent survey on 200 cheating and non-cheating husbands revealed that 77% of cheating men have a good pal who has also cheated. Some male BFFs give in easily to the temptation to cheat because that is what their friends do. However, I will be careful not to judge a guy by what those around him do, but then I would not underestimate the power of influence.

The night crawler
Exactly how late is too late for a guy who is married or in a relationship to stay out with his friends? How often is too often for such guys to go out? It is not advisable for a girlfriend to control or monitor her man about his whereabouts; but it is most likely that the more a guy goes on a night out with his friends (without you), the more he is exposed to the temptation of cheating.

The guy with power and status
Girls are often attracted to men who have power and status but there is a somewhat synonymous relationship between high status and infidelity. While it is attractive to be with a guy with power, class and status, it is also important note that because the guys usually have plenty of opportunities (through several public function) to meet various women, the temptation to cheat is often high.

The Sex Lovers (almost addicts)
This set of guys often advocate that sex and love are two different things. In their minds, they still love their women but they also wish to have sex with the other women. Such men are good at compartmentalizing feelings and would be able to separate their love for the wife from what they feel for the other woman. This then makes it okay for them to have the other woman, and plan not to get caught.

The social media brigade
Social media can definitely wreak havoc on your relationship. Research and evidences have shown that acute social media users are more likely to cheat on their partners. Men like this have the tendency to be secretive about what they are up to or where they are going, they get jumpy when you as much as touch their phones and usually have an empty message folder- cheater alert. They often say that men likes this are such good listeners and always want to know about you because he doesn’t want to reveal too much about himself anyway.

Any of the men from the list above could be from any tribe and this suggests that tribe has a very minimal influence on individual lifestyle. Our identities are totally different from the habits we imbibe as we carry on in life. However, I will call on my Yoruba brothers to attempt to redeem their damaged images by being the perfect gentlemen to their partners.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

Olajumoke Awosemo is an HR Professional, a Personal Shopper and a Self-Developed writer. Her interest in writing focuses mainly on relationships, marriage and related issues but sometimes touches on other current issues. She is a wife, a mother and jointly manages a relationship blog with her husband at www.hookedandthrilled.com/blogger. She also runs her personal shopper business at www.hookedandthrilled.com/shopper"

32 Comments

  1. brown-ice

    February 12, 2016 at 4:03 pm

    Lol @ Yoruba demons. All guys are cheats but I guess the Yoruba guys win the award. My bf is IBO and I would tell him, I don’t care if you cheat or not and vice versa, but apply sense and use a condom and don’t get CAUGHT. I can’t come and go and be thinking everyday if my guy is faithful or not, no be me kee Jesus. Yoruba guys please comeand edeem yourselves!

    • brown-ice

      February 12, 2016 at 4:04 pm

      *come and redeem yourselves*

  2. Sonia Paloma

    February 12, 2016 at 4:23 pm

    I never knew yoruba men had a reputation for being serial cheaters/liars till few weeks ago LOL
    Reminds me of my ex whose married friend brought his side chic to his house to knack her one time not realising I was around. After they left, I asked him why he allows his married friend bring another babe to his place and he replied: That is not my business. *side eyes*
    I also asked him how he felt about his friend cheating on the wife, his reply: (With a worried look on his face) there are some things you don’t want to do to your wife sexually that it is better done to a side chic
    Na there I begin prepare my Exit out of that boy Life. With a mindset like that, there is no way he is not going to cheat. “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are”
    Did I forget to mention he was Yoruba? hehehe (not that i am trying to say they are cheaters/liars sha)

    • ATL's finest

      February 13, 2016 at 1:32 am

      Lmao! Me too & still till this day, I HEART Yoruba dudes esp the tall ones *winks* I guess cheaters are found in every tribe but *Yoruba’s* got the award

    • chioma

      February 16, 2016 at 6:47 pm

      @sonia paloma

      I’m sorry to those who experience yorubademon but let’s also be realistic here, cheating knows no ethnic or tribe. I will say some yoruba men sometimes cheat openly, they are nonchalant about it, which makes it seem like they cheat more because you see it more. Also, out of the major tribes, they seem to date outside of their tribe more than igbo and hausa men. All I know from my experience, and other women around me, the cheaters, liars or even ones that did 419scam has been different tribes not just yoruba men. If you hear what most northern men do to their wives, it will make yorubademon sound like an angel. Northern, hausa women don’t talk about it openly because they are taught to still submit to their men no matter what. And they will get flogged if they complain about their husband. I’m just joking, not really lol Basically,these women are not allowed to speak negative about their husband sha, that’s the reason we don’t hear much about the bad behavior of northern men. So. it’s not bcos they are saints.

      I’m an igbo lady, married to a yoruba man. However, I haven’t sense or experience any demon tins o. I believe in setting grounds for certain things in your relationship. Before kunle and I dated during friendship stage, cheating, sleeping around was one of the major topics we heavily discussed. It’s serious for me because i see what my mom went through with my dad. We are also very honest in our relationship. And the stereotype i heard a lot about yoruba men is, they always have a kid outside and another iyawo no matter how good their main wife is. That bothered me. And Then I met kunle’s parent, I’ve never seen such beautiful couple with high morals. One of the advice, kunle’s dad gave him when he met me, as you have brought this lady to me, be faithful and committed to her.

  3. khaleed

    February 12, 2016 at 4:24 pm

    nice write up!my take is simple,i believe its all about the geographical location of the SW.were all Nigerians tend to see the Yoruba boys in all their dealings and the Art of words .Yoruba boys are smooth talker.

  4. Nelson

    February 12, 2016 at 4:28 pm

    @brown-ice I can tell you for free that opnions like ‘All guys are cheats’, are what give us guys the greatest approval to cheat!

    ladies, I’m not going to tell you otherwise that men are not cheats. This generation is gone. But please and please, start telling your daugthers or little nieces that ‘men just like women are expected to be faithful to their partners’.

    Let’s remember that culturally, we’ve come a long way. Back in the old days, they use to throw twins away as they were deemed to be ‘witches’ or ‘bad luck’. As we know, this is not done anymore. Same we can start changing the mentality of the next generation, so that articles and opinions like such will be laughed at as ridiculous and untrue.

  5. Tosin

    February 12, 2016 at 4:31 pm

    I’m checking out your sites. Nice article.

  6. PC

    February 12, 2016 at 5:08 pm

    *Yoruba demons*

    They re all over..
    Manipulative, serial cheat, heart breaker name it..

    *I’m done with them*

  7. YorubaDemonsIndeed

    February 12, 2016 at 5:15 pm

    You can’t take these “Yoruba demons” anywhere. My God! They could be sooooo loud, obnoxious & uncouth. Well, my ex was. I could write a book on this but I’ll just summarize as best as I can. I dated a Yoruba guy for 3 years before I left Nigeria to school in London. During the course of our relationship, I lost all my friends thanks to his randy penis. He would try to get with my friends, successfully & some unsuccessfully & somehow managed to manipulate me into believing they were all bad friends. I was young & very naive. I was 18, he was 24. I believed him.
    He strung me along so much that I believed I was living in my fairytale. He was running his own company & doing very well for himself…or so I thought. Come to find out he is what is now called a full blown “Yahoo Yahoo PLUS” guy. The 419 scammers that are into serious diabolical practices. How did I found out? I had heard the rumours but as always I did not believe until I found something very suspicious tied up in a plastic bag in his closet. I was floored! I ran for my dear life & almost 3 years later, he has never set his eyes on me. These people will use your destiny & steal your luck just to get money, live in Lekki & drive the best cars. His biggest addiction was runs girls (prostitutes). He made a long list of enemies for me. Glorifying me on social media while sharing his bed with these females. One day when I visited him in Nigeria, he looked at me & told me he could never marry a runs girl. Implying that I was one. I really couldn’t blame him…afterall, I belittled myself & dated a lying chronic womanizing sex addicted Yoruba demon. This is coming from a guy that has been accused of rape by multiple women recently. Thank God I dodged that bullet. I’m not saying all Yoruba men are like him. I have met a decent & amazing Yoruba man who is even currently in my life (as a friend). But for the most part, many females have had horrid experiences with Yoruba men. I’m an Igbo girl that was always attracted to Yoruba men but after experiencing the joy from an Igbo man, you’d never catch me settling with a Yoruba demon.

    • Male/ Female cheat

      February 13, 2016 at 5:07 pm

      But U stayed With him for 3 Whole years and Enjoyed All d luxuries he gave u right?
      Am very sure he dumped u say d Truth?

    • Grunge

      February 17, 2016 at 11:59 am

      are you sure he hasnt used you yourself to make money,,hope he didnt have sex with you,,if he did,,its not too late for deliverance sister

  8. YorubaDemonsIndeed

    February 12, 2016 at 5:18 pm

    You can’t take these “Yoruba demons” anywhere. My God! They could be sooooo loud, obnoxious & uncouth. Well, my ex was. I could write a book on this but I’ll just summarize as best as I can. I dated a Yoruba guy for 3 years before I left Nigeria to school in London. During the course of our relationship, I lost all my friends thanks to his randy penis. He would try to get with my friends, successfully & some unsuccessfully & somehow managed to manipulate me into believing they were all bad friends. I was young & very naive. I was 18, he was 24. I believed him.
    He strung me along so much that I believed I was living in my fairytale. He was running his own company & doing very well for himself…or so I thought. Come to find out he is what is now called a full blown “Yahoo Yahoo PLUS” guy. The 419 scammers that are into serious diabolical practices. How did I found out? I had heard the rumours but as always I did not believe until I found something very suspicious tied up in a plastic bag in his closet. I was floored! I ran for my dear life & almost 3 years later, he has never set his eyes on me. These people will use your destiny & steal your luck just to get money, live in Lekki & drive the best cars. His biggest addiction was runs girls (prostitutes). I cringe knowing all the girls he slept with while I was away with & without protection. Thank God he didn’t give me an STD. He made a long list of enemies for me. Glorifying me on social media while sharing his bed with these females. One day when I visited him in Nigeria, he looked at me & told me he could never marry a runs girl. Implying that I was one. I really couldn’t blame him…afterall, I belittled myself & dated a lying chronic womanizing sex addicted Yoruba demon. This is coming from a guy that has been accused of rape by multiple women recently. Thank God I dodged that bullet. I’m not saying all Yoruba men are like him. I have met a decent & amazing Yoruba man who is even currently in my life. But for the most part, many females have had horrid experiences with Yoruba men. I’m an Igbo girl that was always attracted to Yoruba men but after experiencing the joy from an Igbo man, you’d never catch me settling with a Yoruba demon.

    • truth

      February 12, 2016 at 5:30 pm

      i beg my dear go hug a transformer. Men no matter their tribe or religion will cheat if they have no respect for their partners. Yes they can love you to the moon and back, but if they dont respect you and your love, they will cheat any chance they get. And igbo men are not saints, especially anambara men. So my dear thank God you found a good man, but though cheating is more common to one tribe, it happends in all culture and tribe.

    • Ekene

      February 12, 2016 at 6:18 pm

      Anambra ? Imo takes the crown in cheating in SE

    • TruthHurts

      February 12, 2016 at 6:34 pm

      Thats why she should hug a transformer? After you just reiterated the same thing she said? Pretty ironic. Lets learn how to be civilized when responding to others.

    • Bolanle

      February 13, 2016 at 2:51 am

      Knock, knock, knock

      Who’s there?

      …….Sugabelly

  9. Cancel Reply

    February 12, 2016 at 5:28 pm

    No tribe, ethnicity, race, and even gender have monopoly on cheating. I believe some non-Yoruba people started the #YorubaDemon trend and everyone ran with it. It is the most ridiculous thing, but trust some ignorant Nigerians to jump on any trending bandwagon.

    • Cancel Reply

      February 12, 2016 at 5:29 pm

      *has

  10. Blackcoffee

    February 12, 2016 at 5:54 pm

    Smdh Senseless Topic…. It is not by force to date a Yoruba man

  11. bronx

    February 12, 2016 at 6:13 pm

    and what the big deal about cheating?what sense does it make to be fu***** just 1 toto everyday.

    • Tai omo yoruba nimi

      February 12, 2016 at 10:07 pm

      @bronx and what sense does it make to f- one d- for the rest of one’s life?

  12. j'suis belle

    February 12, 2016 at 6:29 pm

    yes i have seen those “don’t be like wole,olu etc” but it still can’t stop me from dreaming about that possible yoruba suitor,i just want to believe that not all yoruba men are like this ,so if it pleases GOD that i be with a yoruba man then its gonna be that special one who stands as an exception. By the way i don’t think all yoruba men are so lets not generalize

  13. Jayjay (Mee)

    February 12, 2016 at 6:59 pm

    Lol…. i actually found this post interesting, and the comments as well… i literally laughed out loud. I am half yoruba (lol), in love with and married to a 100% homegrown and undiluted yoruba man. Unlike my husband i moved to lagos a few years ago, im ‘konk’ northern grown, ……… cheating is not a race thing but i think why yoruba men have stood out to whoever started the wave is the way they do it….. most times (in the cases i am aware of oh!) a man would not want to be caught, and still treat his woman right…. the yoruba man will cheat and if caught will act like he has a right to.

  14. lovemeforme

    February 12, 2016 at 7:51 pm

    I think the main thing to remember is that a man will cheat regardless of his tribe, origin, culture, etc. If he wants to cheat, he will cheat. Now personally-I have dealt with an Igbo Man from Delta and the only thing he knew how to do well was to cheat. He thought he was being smart and hiding his escapades-but he did not know that I was aware of what he was doing the whole time. My point simply is that a man will cheat no matter what-and a man who cheats has absolutely no respect for his woman or for their relationship. Igbo Kwenu…..

  15. Uyai

    February 12, 2016 at 8:29 pm

    I am very happy that i recently just got out of a ‘relationship’ with the biggest #Yorubademon. I found out that he had been lying to me about certain things even down to the fact that he was an only child when he had two other siblings. Lies i would never understand what anyone will benefit from telling.
    When i confronted him,i was so shocked at his reaction-he said the most nasty things to me and even involved my family in the process. Still not over some of the things he said. Well all i can say is Good riddance!

    • lovemeforme

      February 12, 2016 at 9:32 pm

      Lies…lies…lies…why do men lie about things that don’t require a lie. It’s a shame..I like that-“Yourubademon”. I just got out of a relationship with a real “Igbodemon” who did nothing but lie and lie and lie..till the point that when he was about to tell the truth he would just lie because that is what he knew. So trust me….”good riddance to bad people”.

  16. Meanwhile...

    February 12, 2016 at 10:55 pm

    The way you speak, it’s as if cheating is a primal urge that would kill men if they can satisfy it. We say it makes us suffer yet we accept that crap! Ok, African men are cheating machines, but we are raising their sons, gosh darn it!! Can’t we set a better standard for those boys than that? Are we planning to romantically educate our children or not? Do we talk to those young ones, that still love us and respect us enough to care and tell how much it hurts to be cheated on, especially with the disrespect some men have. It just about letting those future men know how much it will hurt our daughters to be cheated on. Praying won’t change our men, but we can build better sons, can’t we?

    • mie

      February 13, 2016 at 4:49 pm

      Loved this except the “African” men part…all men all over the world can and do cheat… #dazall

  17. Tee

    February 12, 2016 at 11:45 pm

    The funny thing be say all the ladies that had negative comments above are not Yoruba. I ask una, wetin you dey find with liars? Is it money abi love at first sight? What got you into it in the first place. How come it’s taking you couple of years to figure out the demons. Hmmmm, I taya for una. All I have to say is that cheating no get tribe. I know people who don’t see anything wrong with sleeping with cousins of their wives and sister in-law sef. But all in all, dogs go be dogs. It’s not by tribe.

  18. Male/ Female cheat

    February 13, 2016 at 5:07 pm

    But U stayed With him for 3 Whole years and Enjoyed All d luxuries he gave u right?
    Am very sure he dumped u say d Truth?

  19. Nicky

    November 6, 2017 at 8:21 pm

    My boyfriend the first Yoruba guy I have ever dated just told me few minutes ago that he is married but he still loves me blah blah.. I’m so confused I googled why Yoruba guys cheat and came across this page. The funny thing is I’m not shocked cause I expected or will I say I had a feeling, very rich guys. Highly sophisated and learned and I’m just a student I feel so used and dirty

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