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William Ifeanyi Moore: Men Can’t Have Opinions on Women! Why the Heck Not?

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dreamstime_s_37945321What is feminism?
It’s the thing Chimamanda Adichie wouldn’t stop talking about!

Okay…seriously…it’s the thing every girl in Lagos wouldn’t stop talking about…

Okay, let me grow up. It’s a movement advocating for the political, social, economic and cultural equality of women. As might be expected, some aspects of this movement are easy to establish. It was easy to make it possible for women to vote, laws can be put in place for equal pay, diversity quotas can be set (though this would violate the meritocratic promise of capitalism). Anyway, you get my drift.

But when it comes to the social and cultural aspect of things, we find ourselves in subjective territories and this is where it all goes a bit blurry. Myself for example, with my pro-gay and pro-choice stance, I am a liberal for the most part; but in the day time, I rather would prefer women appeared with a degree of modesty. It’s 11:00am, I’m trying to get some work done not stare at your tits. At night you can come out as distractingly sexy as you please. How about you help me…help myself?

Some may say I am just being prude. If I don’t like how a woman is dressed, I should look away, I am in no position to dictate and my opinion doesn’t count for anything. Abeg don’t blame me, a lifetime social conditioning isn’t easy to break. But if my opinion was really worthless, why bother even addressing it? What is not acceptable, however, is for me to verbally or physically attack a woman for dressing, how ever, she likes at whatever time of the day.

These days, it appears that in the name of political correctness we don’t even have a right to holding opinions… not in line with an expected ideal. Well, guess what? We do. I don’t even mind if people carry racist thoughts, as long as you don’t offend anyone with it. It’s your cup of tea. Time and time again I find myself conversing with women about feminism and many of these women would flat out attack a guy for an opinion. The result is most men putting up this act of supporting feminism, but deep down they are more chauvinistic than you can imagine.

This doesn’t help anyone. All we have managed to do is sweep the issue under the carpet. If we are serious about having any real conversation about social gender equality, we must be ready to let people actually express how they feel, even if we believe they do not have a right to those feelings (a violation of human liberty in my opinion).

I would really like to see a 2016 where we are more open to dialogue, even if some offense is caused in the process. The idea that we must all be perfect and cannot hold opinions that other would not disagree with is just ridiculous. If a man believes a woman’s place is in the kitchen…well, just don’t hang with him. If a woman believes a man is her bank…well, just don’t hang with her. People are allowed to think as they please as long as they can conduct themselves with civility in society.

P.S I’m about to start a maninism movement to protest social media equality. Apparently I can’t pout in my photos.

I joke, I joke…

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

William Ifeanyi Moore is an MPharm graduate from the University of Portsmouth, UK. His true passion is in novels and poetry but he cheats on them with movies, plays, and music. He believes sacrifice and compromise is the bedrock of any healthy relationship. His debut novel Lonely Roads is out on 10/12/2015. Blog: www.soulsyrup.space Twitter: @willifmoore Instagram: willifmoore

17 Comments

  1. J

    February 2, 2016 at 3:24 pm

    lol

    You got me at ‘pro-gay pro-choice stance’.

  2. Tomisin Magz

    Tomisin Magz

    February 2, 2016 at 3:35 pm

    It is the women with wrong (very wrong) sense of feminism that will attack men for having opinions on women issues. The best way is to try to correct the opinion if wrong.

    I have realized, especially from Twitter users (the females), most Naija girls do not really understand what feminism is……what a shame!

  3. Laila

    February 2, 2016 at 3:45 pm

    Well this just shows you are not as liberal as you’d like to think. Thats how you people blackmail people with your ” pro choice, pro gay” stance. *hisss*

  4. @edDREAMZ

    February 2, 2016 at 4:09 pm

    a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said…
    .
    Nna this guy just wan carry confussion full my head i swear….. I no understand anything….
    .
    .
    ***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

    • Tosin

      March 16, 2016 at 6:29 pm

      wallahi we’re soulmates.

      i am a humanist. i no fit blow grammar.

  5. whocares

    February 2, 2016 at 4:14 pm

    my brain is about to shut down.. I will be back to comment. There is something here I don’t agree with and wish to challenge.

  6. Nahum

    February 2, 2016 at 5:11 pm

    Nigerian women truly have no clue about feminism. They just use it as a front to maim and attack men on social media. Men are entitled to have their opinions on women, it is your right as a human being just as it is my right to have an opinion on you. You should sit down and talk to real feminists and not these naive noisemakers on these blogs.

  7. ...just saying

    February 2, 2016 at 6:23 pm

    William Ifeanyi Moore and woman matter aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall the time. na wa for you o!

    • William

      February 3, 2016 at 9:59 am

      Oga/madam (just saying), no vex. Na my BellaNaija pattern. You can go to my blog and read about social issues till you have headache, or go and buy my book and read historical fiction on 19th century Africa. But if it’s on Bella, na man and woman matter.

      Your comments are always appreciated 🙂

  8. Cindy

    February 2, 2016 at 7:33 pm

    Anti feminists, oya come out of your shells. This post is for you. Spread your mats on this post. Let the rest of us just sit back and observe. Kuli kuli is available, payment in dollars only.

  9. bn lover

    February 2, 2016 at 8:25 pm

    Hahahhaahahha. Remain in Jupiter. #bye

  10. Sisi

    February 2, 2016 at 10:55 pm

    I understand your sentiments but I have to disagree. Your thoughts become your actions. For example you cannot think racist thoughts and believe they will not (whether consciously or unconsciously) affect how you treat people, unconscious bias is real. This is where you have a problem. It is not even a matter of offending when it comes to femism per se, it is one of being deprived of opportunity, being overlooked, being dismissed, being pulled out of school, having your body turned into an free for all, FGM, to name a few. There are real consequences to having ‘opinions’ that go way beyond heated debates between yourself and the fired up women you encounter.

    • William

      February 3, 2016 at 10:11 am

      I’m not saying opinions don’t carry the inherent threat of causing an attack. My argument is that if we want to resolve these issues, dialogue needs to flow and with men facing the risk of being called chauvamistic pigs when saying how we feel, the conversation isn’t advancing. Critique the idea, debate the idea, but don’t attack the person saying it. I might not have written it as best I can in the space of a post, but essentially that is my argument. People have the right to hold opinions we don’t agree with and should be allowed expression as long as it isn’t hurting anyone. When expressed, then the debate can start. Some guys don’t think babes that show too much on Instagram are dateable, some girls will almost throw up at guys that flash money on Instagram. Both are allowed their opinions. The girl has the right to show her body and the man has that right to show his cash. No one has the right to call her a slut or label him a yahoo boy or immature youth. I hope you see where I’m coming from. Freedom to express your opinion won’t mean you aren’t responsible for the expression if it causes damage. That’s where responsibility comes in. The matter isn’t so simple, but these matters never are I guess.

    • Faces

      February 3, 2016 at 12:59 pm

      i agree with you a 100%!!!

    • molarah

      February 4, 2016 at 12:02 pm

      I see what you are saying. However, there is some sort of onus on the part of the person expressing an opinion to do so in as respectful a manner as possible, no? If an opinion is passed in a way that is perceived to be judgmental, people are bound to be defensive in their response. But yea, you’re right in a sense that some folks have got absolutely no chill: if you don’t talk or share opinions like your brain was cloned from theirs, prepare for war.

  11. whocares

    February 3, 2016 at 12:30 pm

    I am a strong proponent of “I detest what you say, but will defend to death your right to say it”. However, what frustrates me when issues of feminism, women rights etc come along is the defensiveness I get from men and women also. The fact that women want equity does not mean they are taking anything from the man however, in most cases that is the reaction you get from man. Till this day and probably until the day I die, I don’t and will never understand the need for the “mannist” movement. If one of them can come out and explain tome what rights have been taken from men, then we can go from there. . Talk of female empowerment scares most guys.
    Now as for people being able to express themselves, I agree but words are almost certainly an expression of thoughts and ultimately actions. If someone were to express a sexist statement to me, I will call them out on it. Yes, you are free to say it, and I am free to call you out on it. What I sense to be the problem nowadays is that most women are calling men out on so many things men always thought was ok. So all of a sudden you just don’t know anymore. The fact that an action has always been the status quo and we let it be that way for so long does not make it right. Now, more and more women are starting to open up and stand up for themselves. Feminists and non feminists alike.
    Secondly, the world isn’t divided into men, women, and feminists. Some women might hold certain feminists idea but not consider themselves feminists. So not every clap back from a woman regarding some issue or every idea expressed that seems contrary to the norm is feminist. That is what that particular woman thinks and will in most cases not be a feminist idea. Feminism does not equate to contrary and always angry. Believe it or not,we feminists are able to have a proper discussion calmly and rationally so long as the other party is willing to listen. The problem I face when I try to discuss some issues with some men is that don’t want to listen which is different from not listening pure and simple. They are deliberate in their effort to reduce what you have to say to nonsense and that is frustrating. I have to agree with Nahum and co, too many women walk around and do not understand the meaning of feminism.

  12. Sisi

    February 3, 2016 at 12:50 pm

    I see, ‘freedom to express your opinion won’t mean you aren’t responsible for the expression if it causes damage. That’s where responsibility comes in.’ I agree. Feel free to express yourselves as well as engage in thought provoking debate that might alter your world view. This works both ways and is very necessary for initiating change.

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