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Aunty Bella: Miss. He Didn’t Let Me Post Our Photo on Instagram

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dreamstime_s_36892414Aunty Bella is our agony aunt column on BellaNaija. We launched this column in the early days of BN and periodically feature issues sent in by BN readers. To submit any problem for the BN fam to help you tackle, you can email us –www.bellanaija.com/team or leave it as a comment.

Tgirl left this comment under another Aunty Bella post today.

***

I’m not Miss Tired and Broke, I’m Miss Confused and Stupid. I am 22 years old, a senior in college, I graduate this year.

For the past one year my life has been in pieces… Let me just give a little background about myself. Two and a half years ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years because he got someone pregnant. Fast forward to a month after our break up, I met this guy. It wasn’t love at first sight, as it took me a while before I started dating him. I liked him a lot and I introduced him to my mom. In fact I thought he was the one for me and all that.

Then I started noticing some changes in his behavior… He won’t let me post him on Instagram… Not even comment on his page! He is always holding on to his phone like its his life. I started suspecting stuffs….

Until April last year I found out on Instagram that he had a girl friend! So that makes me the other girl! I did my research and all that, I sha found out that he started dating this chick 3 months before we started dating! I confronted him, he begged, cried, apologized and all that!

To be honest I forgave him because we were already having sex. And he was the first person I had sex with! It was hard to let go. I endured a lot from the other chick. In fact it got to a point… I did whatever I could to make sure she didn’t leave him… Because I knew he loved her.

I broke up with him but he won’t let me go! He keeps begging and begging and promising me everything…and I always fall for it like I said I’m Miss Stupid! Even with everything, I do more for him than this babe, because I help him with school problems and real life issues! I try my best to always make sure he is doing okay and all that, as I hate to see him break down.

But I’ve had it all I just got a message from his babe’s friend that he proposed to her this December and brought her to his family! And I’m like God why I’m I so stupid?!

Don’t abuse me… I promised myself that I would let go of him after I graduate… he makes me happy and sad at the same time. Breaking up is hard! We are in the same class! We have the same friends! And if I eventually let go I’m scared I would be alone.

P.S. I have suffered from depression in the past and I’m scared I would hurt myself.

~ Tgirl

Photo Credit: Dreamstime.com

48 Comments

  1. CHIKA

    February 2, 2016 at 3:47 pm

    gbawa oso!

    • kehinde

      February 2, 2016 at 6:58 pm

      I DON TIRE FOR THESE SMALL BABES WITH MISTAKES LIKE THIS… (TOO MUCH DAVIDO SONGS AND EXPOSURE TO JUNK FROM THE MEDIA) COMMON! JUMP OUT OF THIS MESS IN JESUS NAME AND LIVE A GLORIOUS LIFE FULL OF JOY AND PEACE.

      THE GLORY OF THE YOUTH IS THEIR STRENGTH… (BIBLE)

    • sandy

      February 17, 2016 at 5:24 pm

      hahahahahahaha

    • femi

      April 17, 2016 at 6:02 pm

      lol. you are funny

    • jide

      February 2, 2016 at 10:25 pm

      These dumb stories can’t be real sha.

  2. whocares

    February 2, 2016 at 3:50 pm

    lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. You see the caveat and the silent warning there? Nobody should over do with their advice before you make someone hurt themselves o. You have been warned.
    Ahh man I laughed because its either that or wetin pesin wan do again? I simultaneously get angry and sad when I hear or read things like this.. A senior in college? Do you have any idea how much is ahead of you? The things you are yet to do? places you are yet to go, people you are yet to meet and the people that are yet to meet you to fall in love with you or just love you plain and simple without the complications because you are worth loving? Your life will be as beautiful and as blessed as you want it to be and it is up to you. Look, your life is not harlequin romance novel or mills and boon. You had sex so what? Life is terrible. Okay. People will hurt you. You have to chose if they are worth it. He is not. You know that, you admit that. Of course this hurts you, and I am sorry for that. What you need to do now is live.. Cry if you must, heck set aside a day or a week to do that. After that get up, dust your bum, banana powder your face, fill your bra with socks, get a butt pad if it makes you happy and go out. Do whatever makes you happy outside of wanking to the memories of happy times with him. Fake it until it is real. You don’t feel like getting out of bed in the morning?Fake it. Start the motions and eventually whilst you were not looking you will find genuine pleasure and happiness in your actions. Be happy. That’s all I wish for you 🙂

    • Tomisin Magz

      February 2, 2016 at 3:58 pm

      As in! So much is ahead of her! I also thought i couldn’t live without my school bf back then, well 4 years after the break up, I’m still alive! Lol!

    • SEEN ALL

      February 2, 2016 at 4:41 pm

      LOL THIS LINE GOT ME “fill your bra with socks, get a butt pad if it makes you happy”
      Just as am about to go get mine this weekend, life is too short to be walking around with flat bum bum and yes I just broke up with an asshole.

    • Tgirl

      February 2, 2016 at 7:31 pm

      This made me cry and smile at the same time!! Thank you…

    • debbs

      February 3, 2016 at 7:47 am

      In all my life on blogs, this is the most humane thing I have read and I know you care genuinely for her. Thank you for your show of Godly Love and wisdom. Thank you also for allowing me comment for the first time in years. I just had to do this. Debbs

    • Storm in a teacup.

      February 4, 2016 at 12:22 am

      If it will help, and it should, since, as you said, you’ve introduced him to your mom, confide EVERYTHING in your mom, don’t be scared, she might be or not be a little angry with you, but as a mother she loves you like you can’t imagine till you’re one yourself. tell her, there’s nothing like an angry mother spoiling for blood in your corner to get rid of him for good. She’s older, wiser, stronger, she’ll know just what to do.

      Meanwhile, you have SO MUCH of life still ahead of you, to explore, live and enjoy, and yes, to learn from, also. And with all this great, unknown adventure, with its thrills and joys, its highs and lows, its ups and downs, (all NORMAL), you want to hurt yourself? For what?

      Is your destiny tied up in a calabash inside his body or what? that as he goes, your destiny goes also, never to be fulfilled? because God Who designed and planned and gave you your destiny is dead? or at the very least, GOD is as confused and as helpless as you feel? Is there something to him that is so wonderfully extraordinary and unique that God created and then stopped, and that the world before him has never seen and will never but never, ever, I mean, really, NEVER ever see again, that you just need to hurt yourself and shed your own blood, by your own hands, to appease this god sent down to the earth to you for a short period of time on loan, so that by your blood/self-sacrifice you may just hold him down here on earth a little longer before he returns to his natural abode in the skies? Surely he MUST be worth many times more of you, worthless as you must be, whom no man ever looked at before him, and no man will ever look at again after him, for you to consider this? At least ten billion trillion zillion gadzillions of worthless, little you equals just one of him , splendiferous in all his glory and majesty and just total, gobsmacking, words-fail-me awesomeness as he must be, for you, or for anyone, even Beyonce, even Obama’s daughter, even the Hilton heiresses Nicky and Paris, even IBB’s daughter, even Adenuga’s daughter, even Dangote’s daughter, to consider hurting themselves for him, and to think, as you (hopefully by now) WERE thinking, that your life is over.

      I may have hit a little hard with the sarcasm but it is only to make you realise just how ridiculous it all is. He’s just one guy, in a world of over 7 billion people. You’re only 22. This is all rather dramatic. Don’t make one person your entire world. That’s not real life. That’s not healthy.

      If you’ve suffered from depression before, you should seek counselling,professional help; you don’t have to take any drugs/medication if they offer. Just being able to talk, and to someone who’s professional/knowledgeable, and best of all, doesn’t know anyone you know, or if they do, still, professionally they are bound to silence so you can tell them anything, you’ll find that just talking, having an outlet, not keeping things bottled up and suppressed inside to worry over and over and over, helps a whole lot! In fact, when you hear yourself saying somethings aloud, in that nice, quite, orderly setting with someone sitting quietly and looking patiently and kindly and wisely at you, you yourself will start talking to yourself to grow up, what is wrong with you even, can’t you see you’re better than this, what are you doing wasting time in here when life is out there waiting for you to live it, allowing yourself to be used by some cheat who the devil just sent to waste your time, delay you on your path to greatness and destiny, and sow bad seeds in your life whilst he goes on his merry way living his own life and enjoying it in what he considers enjoyment? Sooner or later, gradually, one way or another, you will heal, and one day, become whole. If you’re in the UK, and a student, the services of a psychologist/therapist/psychiatrist should be free on the NHS, just tell your GP and they’ll refer you. And God forbid, if ever you feel like this ever again, God forbid, don’t be shy to cry out again, and to make appointments for professional help/counselling again as often as you need it.. Everyone needs a release valve, one way or another.

      To put your situation in perspective, a lady commented on Sugabelly’s blog that she had been raped three times in her life, but that now, she’s happily married with children.

      So, you voluntarily had sex with, so he was your first, so your previous boyfriend impregnated another girl, SO WHAT?

      Most and best and most important of all, surrender your life to Jesus Christ; honeeeeeeeeey, can’t NOBODY love you, heal you, make you whole, encourage you, affirm you, give you strength, give you wise counsel, give you grace for every season, and turn your mourning into dancing, and your tears into laughter like that Guy! Telling you… Believe.

    • Tgirl

      March 24, 2016 at 3:05 am

      So I came back to read this after a months and some weeks! And Im very happy, I’m in a better place now and right now I feel so happy! Thank you for taking time to comment I appreciate every one..

  3. Ivy

    February 2, 2016 at 3:50 pm

    Dear Tgirl,

    Yes, you were stupid but we’ve all being stupid at a point in our lives. Know what to do? (if u did u won’t send this message….i know). Get over him. How? Block him, delete his pictures and numbers…..MOVE ON!

    Now, have fun! Go out, be a volunteer, help people, join Tinder (to get distracted only). If you feel a need to talk about ur ex, write a letter to yourself. Take a vacation. Please, do not try to reach ur ex, please. Oh! when he comes begging (cuz he will), smile and tell him you have outgrown him.

    Now be a darling, stop crying and treat yourself to new clothes & a lovely meal.

  4. ATL's finest

    February 2, 2016 at 3:51 pm

    Too many RED FLAGs boo!!!! He cried, begged & stole ur heart with that sympathetic tears & u fell for it. Sweetie, U’re too dammm young to tie yourself up for some tacky man that doesn’t deserve U. So u wanna keep him until after graduation before u break up with him? Pls be sincere with yourself jare. By that time, he’d be married without u know & accepting a baby on the way . you know very well you are the other chick & still, U are hanging in there smh.. In as much as I’m not trying to be mean, U deserve whatever comes next if u don’t re-think your relationship with him. Yes, I’ve been there but that move ( break-up) was the BEST thing that ever happened to me because I escaped a life time tears, pain & suffering ( THANK U LORD). U’ll always be fine when u move on, U can never b alone ( that’s why we have families as our backbone), time heals EVERYTHING, the BEST is yet to come & above all, U DO NOT; I repeat U DO NOT need a man to make U happy or man U feel wanyes. Happiness comes from within dear. Dig deep, do some soul searching and the inner peace within is the BEST of it all. Greater luck to U & hopefully U make the right choice.

  5. samuel

    February 2, 2016 at 3:53 pm

    hello Tgirl, you are a beautiful person! You will find a friend, don’t worry about that,just take it easy don’t stress! He is a pig,let him go. Don’t throw any more pearls to this pig. You have dodged a bullet.

  6. T

    February 2, 2016 at 3:56 pm

    Dear…you wont be alone okay? you just have to let him go…you need a guy that will really love you and respect you. don’t let anyone, not even yourself convince you otherwise, God bless.

  7. Tomisin Magz

    February 2, 2016 at 4:02 pm

    Come here boo *e-hugs*
    Like @whocares said, you still have a lot ahead of you. Not to sound like a bad girl but so what? he’s the first man to have sex with you, so? My dear, shake it off and move on! 7 out of 10 girls out there once felt they couldn’t live without their partners/boyfriends but they finally gathered the strength to stay alive for themselves!
    There are still a lot of things you may end up going through in life that will make this boyfriend issue very very silly!

    Be strong and don’t let the sadness/depression take you over. Just believe that someone much better than he is, will find you! (note: i said he will find you, not the other way cos a good man is supposed to find his better half)

  8. @edDREAMZ

    February 2, 2016 at 4:03 pm

    a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said…
    .
    Love makes one do stupid things i swear..
    .
    .
    ***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

  9. Bleed Blue

    February 2, 2016 at 4:03 pm

    Wait…I don’t understand…shall I attribute this to being 22years old? But I was once 22 na.

    Sweetie, this guy is eating his cake and having it and eating it again.
    Girl….find it in you to ignore all that begging. He’s essentially begging for you to be his permanent side attraction. Do you see yourself being this? Is that your aspiration in life? .Do you not look in the mirror and see a person who deserves so much better?

    HE HAS PROPOSED TO THE OTHER GIRL!!!! What else remains?

    FLEE!

  10. Rhonyi

    February 2, 2016 at 4:10 pm

    I was tempted to throw harsh words your way but thought better of it. Know this. A man always knows what he wants, forget the crocodile tears. I have never found myself forcing myself on a guy/man, yet as average looking as i am i get serious suitors. Know when to walk away! You wont die! He is the first guy you had sex with, so what?! He is treating you like trash cos you let him. Make other male friends in your class, no sex please, he is not the only male in your class. Love yourself

  11. Adaeze Ibechukwu

    February 2, 2016 at 4:15 pm

    Wow! You need to love yourself dear, you sound like you have some kind of self-esteem issues. You are really young and the fact is, that guy doesn’t love you. You were in a toxic relationship and you were badly affected. My advice to you is, pick up your running shoes and flee from that guy.

    For fun stories, visit adaezewrites.com

  12. Don't Care

    February 2, 2016 at 4:15 pm

    So what exactly do you want?? Like I don’t get. From what you’ve written, you already know what you need to do. It seems you just don’t have the courage and honestly, no one can give you that. Only you can give yourself sense. I feel you’ll still stay with this guy no matter the amount of advice you receive here, because there’s nothing we’ll tell you that you don’t already know. you’ll probably go ahead to be his side chic while he’s married. Give yourself sense. If you stay with him, you stay losing. Close your eyes and do what you know you need to do.

  13. lotus flower

    February 2, 2016 at 4:17 pm

    Tgirl- first, you need to talk to your family and also a psychologist about your thoughts about self-harm. Do not take this issue lightly. Second, were you stupid? Yes. However, take it as a lesson learned. Let this situation make you wiser, that way the experience was not in vain.

    Third, do not rush into another relationship! Give yourself time to heal. It sounds like you are still hurting from the first relationship, not to talk of the second. Fourth- let this man go. He is even engaged! What are you doing, girl??! You are playing with fire. This man is not honest or good to you. So what you are classmates or share friends- AND????!! College is temporary. You are even graduating in a few months.

    Let him go!

  14. o

    February 2, 2016 at 4:23 pm

    I won’t bother stating the obvious (as you have stated it yourself) but if it’s because he’s the first person you have been with, trust me, there’ll be many more times for you to get down, you won’t even remember what he was like after a while. Heck I can’t really remember my first time again except for the fact that I had serious pains after and had to use PCM. Anyway, my first(and ex) was also my course mate (for a couple of years) and we belonged to the same circle of friends. My advice is to gentle take yourself away from that circle of friends. Still be friendly but being around them constantly will remind you of him. Cut off all ties with him (phone calls, messages etc). Might seem drastic but I tell you it works. Also just decide that you are better than him. You can do better than a two timing guy. I tell you a few years from now, you’ll wonder what you ever saw in him.

  15. Thatgidigirl

    February 2, 2016 at 4:23 pm

    What’s the question here or confusion please?

  16. Married to Jesus

    February 2, 2016 at 4:24 pm

    Hi Darling. No bashing here. Just bitter truths.
    1. STOP thinking you’re his saviour, and solving his issues or school problems. 2. Occupy your mind. Fill it up, read books, go to shows, hang out with friends, flirt, mafact have a toaster that will just make you feel good about yourself or whatever but NO sexual intimacy. 3. Mr. Man is NOT God’s last born, keep it moving. 4. Read and meditate on the Word of God. Cleave to God and depression will flee from your life. There are too many amazing promises in the bible for you to waste your time on a fallen sheep.You will be fine. Repeat after me, You will be Fine! xo bisous

  17. Pretty O

    February 2, 2016 at 4:26 pm

    It’s really “why am i so stupid?!” Stay there! LMAO
    Do people learn from others though? These things still baffle me, you can’t be that naive, in this 2016. Na wa o…

  18. frannie-beautifulsoul

    February 2, 2016 at 4:28 pm

    My dear, yes we ve at one point or the other in our love lives been stupid yet our lives still went on n alwaz will. The pain is unbearable but u have to understand that u need to love urself . He is with u cos he eats his cake n still have it. Don’t do that to itself cos u deserve the best. U re wonderfully n fearfully made by God,U are unique, a masterpiece, an original so don’t let no idiot redefine u. Let him go. I have been in similar situation of both of us having common friends but gurl I had to fly not run. U can get std u know. There are lots to avert now . let go n let God . Get deeply involved in a Christian community, limit time spent around common friends n turn on ur ‘I don’t care button’. Focus on u n anything that helps ur healing n ensure u completely disconnect from him. Treat him as a mere acquitance,don’t try pretending to be just friends. Take care of u first.

  19. Sonia Paloma

    February 2, 2016 at 4:34 pm

    Oh honey, most of us have been there and acted a fool in a relationship
    Now it is time to put your big girl pant on and leave that excuse of a USER
    This kind of MEN will suck you dyr till you become a shadow of yourself and then later in life, they will come with “I AM SO SORRY FOR WHAT I DID, I AM SORRY FOR PUTTING YOU THROUGH ALL THAT” bla bla bla. Honey you are too young to wallow away in such sadness and stupidity.
    Just summon up courage (infact, i borrow you minde join) and end it for good
    Start with deleting/blocking his number, never ever go on any of his social medias,.
    Take baby steps sweetheart… you can do it> YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK
    Get out of this Toxic situation!!
    E-Hugs and Kisses!

  20. Honeycrown

    February 2, 2016 at 4:47 pm

    Dear Tgirl, you yourself know it’s better to move on so, please do so. A year later, you will look back and laugh at yourself wondering why you ever thought of staying. And all this talk about depression and hurting yourself, please talk to someone. My sister, abeg face your books so you can graduate. And remember, YOU are NOT the problem!!

  21. iluv

    February 2, 2016 at 4:52 pm

    Babe, ever heard of one chance? Please move on!!

  22. Nahum

    February 2, 2016 at 5:05 pm

    You are definitely a stupid 22 year old child and you will not listen to anything anyone has to say so, best of luck to you.

  23. Nnenna

    February 2, 2016 at 5:14 pm

    What’s this??!!! Damn baby you need a big hug. you had sex with him… he actually cheated on you, deceived you and misused your trust and affection. Nne, little by little. deal with the pain. I’ve done stupid things too and I know you’ll be just fine. life is a learning process and I guess you’ve learnt a lesson from this. be strong hun.

  24. Hawt Talk With Tosan

    February 2, 2016 at 5:39 pm

    You will survive.

  25. EagleEye

    February 2, 2016 at 5:43 pm

    I actually needed to hear that myself! You are just a super star! Oya chop kiss MWAH

  26. Koffie

    February 2, 2016 at 5:54 pm

    You have to stop giving him power over your emotions. Have a fat day when you’ll cry it out, eat popcorn or throw it at your TV/laptop screen while you watch “Dirty Dancing” and sing along to ‘I had the time of my life…’ Heartbroken Jess style. That day is for you to be able to heal but don’t even give him more than that. Wear some lipstick and heels and go out, flirt a little (no rebound sex please), hang out with friends or make new ones since your friends are his friends. You don’t need any negative vibe from mutual friends who want to stylishly taunt you with news of his engagement, at least till such news will have an odeshi effect on you.
    He was your first, that’s past tense. You are not less worthy of being loved because the kanye butthole (excuse my yoruba) was your first. Quit caging yourself cos of the virginity factor. On Vals day, people are going to be mushy and carrying gifts up and down in your school hostel but you are not going to start crying or texting him because of that. Get yourself a nice gift and have fun in other ways.
    Last one, you’re not his fixer. Let him go with his cry baby act and problems. You deserve to be the Only chic (not main chic sef)

  27. nie-m

    February 2, 2016 at 7:06 pm

    Let me tell you my story— I was one of those smart and confident girls, no nonsense no man can make me look stupid, my mum is a feminist. So I was brought up to be fierce and take no nonsense – fast forward to age 17 and I moved to Jand for school within the space of 2 years I had, had 3 horrible relationships all before i TURNED 21. As if it wasn’t bad enough I met an older guy and when I mean that relationship was fucked up – it was 3years of hell, while he was with me, he started dating someone else – it was so bad that I won’t hear from him for months and the moment he calls me like a dog who has been given crumbs I will run straight to serve him, he messed my confidence so bad – just thinking of some of the humiliation I went through brings tears to my eyes- if you ask me how was undergrad I can’t remember because I spent my entire university years in bed, blinds closed, no lights, no partying, nothing. I din’t even have enough respect for myself to end the cycle of abuse it only ended when he moved back. My dear I added a lot of weight, I thought I would never find love and fast forward 2014 – I moved to a different country for a year – I was over 2 dress sizes from my ideal weight, depressed, etc but I met the love of my life while overweight- am talking Ricky Martin looking type. we’ve been dating for almost a year and we are about to get married. The previous guy is not even worthy to be thought of in the same sentence with him – is it looks, education, money, which one? You believe you will be alone because you haven’t learnt to love yourself and know that you alone are enough! You must love you first, before someone else can, your cup must be full and then when it is running over, you can then love someone else. Being able to Put your bf’s picture on instagram is not love,. There was something Iyanla Vanzant said that there is a way you give so much of yourself to someone that you will end up making that person a THIEF! A thief of your dignity, self worth, stop enabling this thief and move on, he is not worth it, let him go!

  28. Cindy

    February 2, 2016 at 7:25 pm

    Walahi, e yin mejeji e o serious. He is your coursemate and he has already proposed to someone? Meanwhile you are helping his ministry? In fact, you, the boy, the main chick, main chick’s friend, e o ti get ara yin. I just graduated last year and I’m not even 21 years yet but I was not this gullible back in school. What kind of advice can someone give you sef? Koko fun ara e ni ko lori naa. Now, for a start, stop sitting beside him in class. Immature set of students. The way some female students carry boyfriend matter on top head ehn. Some will be cooking, cleaning, washing clothes in his house/apartment/bq. Chai! They are both students paying the same fees o. My eyes have seen some things my mouth cannot speak.

    • South-West no-nonsense.

      February 4, 2016 at 12:35 am

      @Cindy, I laugh o! Are you sure you are only 21? So wise. And, some of us are coating in in candy, mushy, mushy and you just hit hard and straight.

  29. I'm miss stupid too

    February 2, 2016 at 8:05 pm

    Hey tgirl, I get you, in a really weird way I am you. I didn’t want to let go, I couldn’t let go, I knew it was wrong, I deserved better but for some reason I held on………I held on for months.
    And just like you, I wanted to wait till my birthday in August which I later postponed to October and then December, every single time I had a reason to keep holding on. The sex and intimacy roped me in each day, I have honestly made terrible mistake and I don’t want that for you.
    So sweetie I decided that this year, am going to do better, no more stolen moment, I am done pausing my life for him while he builds with his dream girl. Enough!!
    So to you am saying enough, you don’t need him till you graduate, you have to stop now before it’s late or harder.
    It’s been 33 days and am not dead. Just try and get busy, surround yourself with really positive people, stay far away from happy couple they’re not delightful at this stage and stay away from him.
    You need to take back whatever power you gave to him, let him go baby………you’ll be fine.
    You can do it, am doing it already.
    If you need extra help, mail me.
    [email protected] .
    Xoxo!!

    • Tgirl

      February 2, 2016 at 8:35 pm

      I just emailed you

  30. me

    February 2, 2016 at 8:53 pm

    Tgirl, you are 22 and talking depression over boyfriend issues, please take a deep breathe and tell yourself this too shall pass…. Everyone will give you advice, but only you can experience your life…

    You will look back in some years time and ask yourself did I really post that on BN? You have the strength to be the best version of yourself. First love lesson.

  31. Niola

    February 2, 2016 at 9:51 pm

    Miss I’m miss stupid please make sure you keep in touch with t-girl i don’t want her to do anything silly…young girls need mentoring these days … I’m at least over 10 yrs older so I understand …Sweetheart I will even call you regularly just to make sure you don’t end up doing anything silly because it is going to hurt like a fresh cut but you just have to severe ties with this user…I pray that you are loose from such soul ties in Jesus name …let me know if you would like to talk and I can pray with upu..drop your email and we will take or from there

  32. ibukungeorge

    February 3, 2016 at 2:03 am

    Been there thank God I didnt sleep with him.The stupid dude said we can be friends.My pastor says since you are two years older than me and they saw into the future that you won’t be submissive (I don’t know when Pastors turned to God o ).I told him I don’t stay friends with EX.Waste of time and resources.Deleted him from everywhere and yes I didn’t die o.Hurtful but I didn’t die.I’m still very much alive and having “dinner dates” till I find the one.And I’m in my 30sss.It’s not the end of the world dear.Chin up and please love yourself first,have a good fantastic relationship with God and your lines will fall in pleasant places.NB;Please don’t be depressed. It’s okay to cry .Go on your knees cry to God and after all said and done wipe your tears and face it with a smile. Life is for the living…..

  33. Jay

    February 3, 2016 at 9:44 am

    Tgirl, be strong. Can i be your friend? mail me on [email protected]

  34. MommaF

    February 3, 2016 at 11:45 am

    T-girl, you’ve heard it all, and truly, a lot of us have done stupid things while growing up. Dust yourself up and love yourself again (after you have broken up with him and severed ALL ties). There’s no room for “still being friends” after a break-up. It may seem so hard right now, but trust me, you’d look back at this time and thank God you walked away and moved on well. And you should learn to love Jesus at this time in your life. For now, and for always!

  35. Get doing.

    February 4, 2016 at 12:59 am

    Delete him from all places.
    Block his number(s) from your phone. If you don’t already have, invest in a phone that has the block feature.
    Download an app that tells you who’s calling you, in case he uses another/other numbers.
    For quite a while, till you feel strong enough, it may be weeks, months, a year, get into the habit of storing people’s names and numbers immediately you give them yours, and not answering calls from numbers you don’t know; instead, text the number calling you to ask who that is, and if the caller’s genuine, or their purpose of calling is important, they’ll usually text you identifying themselves and saying why they’re calling if they call a couple of times and you don’t pick the call..
    Confide in your mom. You NEED that support and backbone help from/at home. Don’t be scared. It’s FOR YOUR GOOD. Once it’s out in the open, half (at least) of its power is gone.
    Get professional help, first, for your self-esteem issues, and for emotional/psychological issues: depression.
    Join new groups, make new friends, fill your life with activities and things to do; become a worker in church, find and attend your neighbourhood church home fellowship, join the students’ fellowship, go to church regularly, go for church/Christian conferences, especially but not only those for women, join a women’s prayer group or unisex prayer group, start looking into internships for work or actual employment as you’re graduating soon; join a book/poetry/drama/art/ cooking/swimming/women entrepreneurs/entrepreneurship/bead-making/travel/health and fitness, walking, running, tennis/Bible study club.
    You get the picture. Delete him from your life, delete whatever friends are so closely associated and entwined with him that you just must let them go for your peace of mind and sanity, and do NOT tell him or any of these friends any of your new activities and ventures, then, don’t leave a vacuum; never leave a vacuum, vacuums are dangerous; start something(s) new, take up a new sport, new activity, new groups of people, especially WOMEN! You need time to heal and learn to discover you, to know you, and to love and appreciate the wonder of you.

    And by the way, Jesus helps with all of the above and more.

  36. sandy

    February 17, 2016 at 5:25 pm

    hahahahaha

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