Five BellaNaijarians Talk About the Importance of Feminism in Our Society

Feminism sounds like one grand form of activism. Like placard-carrying women protesting against femicide or clamouring for their rights. Like a movement, a force sweeping through modern society. Someone would ask, “are you a feminist?” with an eyebrow raised; they want to know if you’re one of those people fighting fiercely for women’s rights, or “trying to be a man”. And you’re right; feminism is a movement. It is a force. But it is not only that.

Ask people why they are feminists or the moment they decided to join feminism, and the majority would tell you there was no moment, no grand occurrence. They grew up in this world, witnessing and experiencing gender pay gap, FGM, child-bride. People dismissed their ideas and feelings when they tried to speak because “What do you know, you’re being emotional not logical.” They witnessed policemen asking “You too, what were you wearing?” when they reported cases of rape and assault. They heard presidents say their wives belonged to the other room. They realised they couldn’t rent an apartment without purchasing a fake wedding ring. The world was set up in such a way that they had to constantly fight to be seen, heard and acknowledged. They realised that feminism isn’t just a concept; it is a necessity, a way of living. They realised the importance of striving for equality and empowerment for all.

To wrap up women’s month, we asked five BellaNaijarians to talk about what made them realise feminism is crucial in society. Read their responses:

Osas

I’ve always been a curious child who questioned everything. Even before I knew the word feminism or even what the word meant, I saw many things that showed the world wasn’t fair to women and started to rebel/fight against it. Growing up as a gifted girl child, you’d often hear things like, “How can we have boys in this class and you people keep letting a girl come first?” One major incident sealed it for me: In secondary school, we had a yearly scholarship system for the best overall student and I will never forget how one teacher blatantly said it should have gone to someone else instead. Why? Because he was a boy and I, a girl. The year the boy got it, this man mocked me so badly. It is still a core memory for me because I went to cry in the restroom and this man was waiting for me outside to continue the mockery. I went on to win it again the year after that, but I’ll never forget how that man made me feel for simply being a stellar female student. Another of many is how people are quick to attach a woman’s worth or lack thereof to a man or a man’s ownership of her. I have always stood for equality but I didn’t identify as a feminist until years later as an adult, and I’d say the world needs more feminist women to champion the cause of women and equality.

Precious

I knew feminism was important when I realised I had to work twice as hard to be seen or respected. For instance, I was a prefect in secondary school and when I called a student to order, I could see the hesitation because I was a female. Also, when trying to get an apartment, nobody was willing to rent out their house to an unmarried woman. Why? It makes no sense. It’s the way you’re not respected until you’re accompanied by a man or the disrespect when you accomplish a career feat.

Omilola

There was this funny scenario where my younger brother and I went to a restaurant to buy food. It was pretty obvious I was the one paying, but the cashier handed the bill over to my brother because he’s a guy. I won’t fault them because my brother is taller than I am, but respect shouldn’t be due to height or something. I got exposed to the term feminism when I was in university. I studied English and we read books like Purple Hibiscus, Woman at Point Zero, and Second Class Citizen. Although it was literature and the characters were not real, it was a sad thing to experience. Statements like “Don’t talk when a man is talking,” and “Don’t get too ambitious so you won’t chase men away” are really ridiculous statements and ideologies. But I’m championing feminism and equality in my own way. They say charity begins at home so I teach my younger brother how to treat women. From things like house chores, to respect and even intimacy. Young boys and girls need to learn this within the family unit. So when they get into the larger society, they spread the news and kill the virus.

Ahmad

There are a lot of things, and I think they are clearly visible to everyone only if we choose to ignore them. But one that irks me every time is when I go out with my partner and she offers to pay. When the purchased item or balance wants to be delivered, it is directed at me. I always make sure the item or balance is redirected towards my partner who actually paid for it. This reminds me of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie‘s experience when she was out with a male friend. She generously tipped a waiter and when the waiter wanted to appreciate the magnanimity, it was directed to her male friend. Chimamanda had to inform the waiter that she tipped them and not her male friend. It’s in little things like this that you know that feminism is actually needed because the little things give room for the bigger issues and injustices that exist against women.

Oluwadunsin

I’ve been a feminist before I knew the word ‘feminism’. As a girl child, you notice these things early – from watching people’s marriages and seeing how (extended) family members treat wives and wives-to-be, to teachers jokingly saying “ahan, a girl beat you? Why na?” to random people saying “Is this how you’ll do when you’re under a man or when you’re in your husband’s house?” or your friend genuinely asking “what if your husband does not approve” when you share your future plans, or decided to do dreadlocs. I mean, it’s subtle, yet it irritated me so. But one event I cannot forget was when, during NYSC, a fellow corp member said I wasn’t eligible to give a speech during another corp member’s send-forth. His reason? “why woman go dey talk where men dey.” Many times, we think women are being relegated by men who aren’t literate enough but growing up means you realising that even the educated, enlightened and exposed among us are the upholders of patriarchy. They are the ones who wield the power but do not think women are deserving. I thought about that statement for a long time. He’d most likely own a company in future, or be in government, and he’d most likely ensure the women working for him won’t get to the top, because “why women go reach there where men dey?”

Beyond women’s month, let’s continue to champion equality in our everyday lives, among our circle and in our community. An equal society benefits all.

 

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