Mina Martins: 5 Things That Happen When You Have 2 Kids Under 2

When I found out I was pregnant, barely six months after my first, I was hit with certainty that my life is about to get a lot more interesting. I wondered how little, or how much my life will change, but I was really unprepared for most of the things I experienced.

So, for those of you who are considering having your babies back to back, already had them and dealing with challenges, or you simply would like to entertain yourselves with my tale of woes, here are five struggles only mums with two kids under two will understand.

The Pregnancy
I know people can be, shall I say, interesting, but I never realized how much sh*t people can spew in certain scenarios. When I about six months along and my bump was in its full glory, I got the weirdest reactions.

• From my next door neighbour

Her: “WOW! You are pregnant again?!!!”

Me *in my head*: ‘OMG! Really, I did not realise! Where did this bump come from?! Get it off!! Get it off!!!’ Dumbass.

• From  the clothes salesperson

Me: Enter holding my one-year-old.

Her: “Is that your kid?”

Me: “Yes”

Her: “And you are pregnant again?”

Me: “Yes”

Her: “Already?”

Me: Nods

Her: “Wow!!”

Me: *In my head* ‘Are we done here?’ Idiot!

• With my colleague

Him: “You are pregnant! How did it happen?’

Me: *In my head* ‘Errr, sperm meets egg, did you miss Biology? Did your parents not have the birds and the bees discussion with you?’

Him: “Mehn, that your husband dey try o, he just knack you the tin back to back”

Me: *In my head? “You are awfully curious about my husband’s penis and sperm capability, do we need to have a conversation?” Fool!

I certainly got some very curious comments while baby number two was baking in the oven.

Exhaustion? No, I need a new word for what I felt
So, my first was already sleeping through the night by the time he was three-month-old, but for some reason, he decided to regress. He suddenly started waking up screaming three times during the night and would not let anyone but me soothe him. Now picture me, 7 months pregnant. It takes me 10 minutes to find a comfy position to sleep and another 30 to tune out preggy aches and pain so I can actually fall asleep. I literally had to go through this routine again and again during the night when my toddler wakes up. PLUS, I had to work. I think I once spent a whole day at work with my eyes closed, I was that tired.

No recovery
Oh, the beautiful bliss that was post baby recovery after my first. I was waited on hand and foot. All I had to do was feed baby, nap, feed baby, eat, feed baby, watch TV, feed baby, fiddle on Instagram, feed baby, sleep, feed baby. It was amazing. But with Number 2??? HAHA!. First off, evidently, no one cares when it’s your second baby. No family member rallied around me to take care of chores, babysit, or massage my foot. I guess everyone assumed I am such a pro now, because there were days when it was just me and my babies at home.

Once, my toddler decided to toddle to the next room while I was breastfeeding baby. It was quiet for a while, and I learned fast that that was never a good thing. I resolved to go check on him once I was done nursing. No sooner had I crossed my fingers and hoped he would not get in trouble before I reached him, I heard him screaming bloody murder. Now, baby was attached and I know she will scream homicide if I try to detach, but who knows what toddler was up to. So, I did the only thing I could, ran to my toddler with baby attached to my boob. Evidently, he had found the laundry basket, toppled it over and was drowning in an avalanche of dirty laundry. While trying to extract him, baby’s mouth fell out and she started yelling as expected. My toddler was still screaming. There was a LOT of screaming. And that may or may not have included mine.

And, by the way, this is not the only time I had to nurse in extreme circumstances. Once, I had to pee so bad with baby attached, so I, you guessed it, had to move things to the toilet. *Sigh* Oh the joys of motherhood.

Is my toddler trying to murder his sister?
Here are things I never thought I would say to my son, and try to help me figure out if this kid is trying to murder his baby sister.

“Stop trying to lift your sister by the neck, that is NOT how we lift baby!”

“Will you quit putting your finger in your diaper then try to put it in the baby’s mouth? It was not funny when you did it to me last week and I am still not finding it funny today.”

“No, baby cannot eat cookies, quit trying to shove them in her mouth!”

“OMG! Are you trying to eat your sister’s head???”

“Stop trying to drag her off people’s arms, she is not a rag doll.”

“Stop farting!!!” Think this does not qualify as attempted murder? Well, you need to smell this kid’s farts.

You feel the love
Sure, things can get very hectic, but watching your little ones try to navigate life can be an extremely heartwarming experience. Watching him try to give his sister a bottle, holding her hands and giving her a kiss when she is crying, the back and forth baby babbles between them, and his possessiveness when someone tries to take his baby sister away from his sight are reasons I would not give this experience up for all the ice cream in the world. And I do love ice cream.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime