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Nkem Ndem: Hot Guy, Bad Breath!

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Nkem NdemI have a strong sense of smell, anyone who knows me personally will tell you for sure. I can literally list the exact ingredients used in preparing a meal just by sniffing its aroma. I can tell you the exact place a smell is coming from, even when everyone else cannot identify its source.

Most important, though, I loathe bad smells, especially when they come from human beings. Actually, I kept my “lipginity” till I was 24, as it was very difficult to find any other mouth that was 100% free from odour.

As I have since experienced more in life and become less rigid with smells, I have made a conscious decision to try and be accommodating to certain pongs that are consequent to owning a human body as apparently, some are sometimes inevitable. While this has worked, there are times I still meet people who just make “accommodating” so damn difficult that ultimately, you realize … you just can’t.
I met one of such people last weekend. My friend Toyin had invited me to a church event on the mainland. Of course, I was excited to go as she always honored all invitations to my church and I felt it was my chance to return the courtesy. As I got to the venue, I was ushered to a row very close to the front. Being the very shy person that I am, I was a bit reticent to comply…but as the lord would have it (or so I thought at the time) I sighted a hot “beaux” on the same row and realized that complying with the usher’s demands would imply sitting next to the man. Quickly, my single and searching feet moved very swiftly.

“Bless you,” I said with a sweet smile as I sat next to him. He looked at me, revealed pearly white teeth in a smile and nodded. A few minutes afterI sat down, though, I noticed the air around was thick with the stench of bad breath. I did not want to believe it was the guy next to me of course… I mean, he was too good looking for such. But then, I needed to be sure, so I leaned in and asked him what the topic was. As he opened his mouth in reply, I felt my lungs constrict and I am quite sure I suffered a mini seizure. The stench of his breath had pierced so deeply into my lungs; I was filled with excruciating pain. His breath was so bad that a huge housefly literally appeared from nowhere and started to buzz around his buccal cavity. Even worse, the usher would not let me change seats.

All through the service, the young brother kept shouting out remarks and sharing personal insights with me, unsolicited. He was not perturbed by my blatant disinterest at all, and even when I bluntly offered him a mint, he declined. At the end of the programme, when we were asked to proceed to the dining area, the brother who introduced himself as Tayo, still offered to escort me with a twinkle in his eyes, hian! It took all the strength left in me not to scream “Hell NO!” Actually, even if I had wanted to proceed to the food area, I couldn’t because though I was very hungry, my belly was already bloated from all the smell I had inhaled. Again, his mouth odour has doused my perfume and I literally now smelled of rotten tooth blended in stale spit.

Why on earth would a handsome grown man have a breath that foul? I know some people cannot help it as they are afflicted with halitosis, but shouldn’t such people just keep to themselves when they meet people who are unaware of their condition? Let’s be real, there are certain things a woman can tolerate in a man: stinky farts, morning breath, hairy pits, snoring, nagging, even a horrendously large and hairy pot belly…but a man with a dragon breath, especially when it is as strong as brother Tayo’s…I do not think any display of affection on his part, exhibition of good looks or amount of money in his possession, can earn him an enduring spot on a heart owned by a ‘sane’ woman. Seriously, what do you think?

Nkem Ndem is an energetic and highly accomplished Media Consultant who loves to help small businesses, especially women-led, grow their online presence using the right digital strategy or transition from traditional organizational boundaries. With years of experience in Copywriting and Editing, Content Branding and Strategy, Social media, and Digital Marketing, she is clearly obsessed with Digital Communications. She is the Head of Content and Lead Consultant at Black Ink Media - an Ideation and Content Agency that excels in providing fresh, creative digital services to content-centric businesses. Find out more about her at www.blackinkm.com or send her an e-mail at [email protected] Also follow her on IG: @nkemndemv, Twitter: @ndemv.

60 Comments

  1. madd at mainstream

    August 13, 2016 at 5:08 pm

    It’s not like he was planning to bomb the building or something. If he is that good looking just hold your breath lol

    • Spicy

      August 13, 2016 at 5:51 pm

      By the way author, if you sense of smell is soooo keen you should be afraid. Your eye sight might be poor and could eventually be soooo poor, it would give issues. Take Vitamin A alot.

      I wish I could tell you why and why and why but I can’t. Back in those days, Greeks would blind their slaves intentionally so that their sense of smell could be heightened so that they can make the best and strongest of perfumes. Science can’t explain everything!

    • Red

      August 13, 2016 at 7:05 pm

      I. CANNOT. STAND. ODOUR! Nyama!

      Here is something I share with people; Baking Soda and Lemon. Mix together that form a paste. Brush teeth with sane paste and leave on for 2mins. Also, make a mouth wash using same and water. Gargle for 1min. Doing this regularly (about thrice weekly) helps.

      Make we save lives. ???

    • Charles

      August 14, 2016 at 4:12 am

      Bad mouth odor can be result of certain medical problems. Sometimes, the surface things doesn’t work. You may need to see a medical doctor not just a dentist. I’ve broken up with girls or my interest in a girl instantly dies based on bad odor. I never told them the reason specifically bcos girls are too sensitive. I just stop talking to them. One girl called me gay bcos I refused to have sex with her. Her bad odor hindered me.
      I tell my boys if they have terrible breath, vice versa. Some people can’t smell bad odor, let them know.

    • Dolapo

      August 13, 2016 at 8:27 pm

      Me, I know 2 “Tayo’s” with really bad breath ooo. I certainly will not name my male child Tayo. #tongueincheek

    • Ade

      August 13, 2016 at 9:14 pm

      Hot babe, bad breath.
      I dated this hot babe, she talked so much how she’s such a clean freak. The irony was she had constant underlining bad breath. I learnt my lesson, hot babe does not translate into clean babe.

      I overlooked it the two times we made out, I mean the babe was sexy. After that I couldn’t. Ladies tell me how I’m very clean for a guy. I take precaution, not just talk about it. The belief that men are naturally dirty is a false stereotype. Then she had the audacity to say I’m not a good kisser. I told her after she sees a good dentist I will become a better kisser.
      The babe stopped contacting me and answering my calls.
      Months later, we ran into each other and laughed over it.

    • Idomagirl

      August 13, 2016 at 9:49 pm

      “After she sees a dentist I’ll become a better kisser” ???

    • ibukungeorge

      August 14, 2016 at 5:02 am

      wicked!lol

    • Jade Edo babe

      August 14, 2016 at 8:25 am

      [email protected] after she visits dentist you will become a better kisser. Babe was confident. Some people can’t smell themselves. But it’s good you both laughed over it later.

  2. Jasmine

    August 13, 2016 at 5:19 pm

    Hahahahaha! Sorry, but I had to laugh. Went to a party with a guy lastweek. Dude had this strong MO and had a sexy lip too. Choi!!! And to think he was also asking me to kiss him. The MO made me forget the sexy lips o.

  3. justpassinthru

    August 13, 2016 at 5:24 pm

    LMAO….damn u really threw brotha Tayo under the bus…I really felt like I was sitting next to you inhaling the misery….I’m sure many can relate…however I always felt a lady’s use of perfume should be subtle and not overbearing….so I wonder how is that you smelled like a mixture of your perfume and his horrendous breath….jusayin

  4. A Real Nigerian

    August 13, 2016 at 5:36 pm

    If they have mouth odour, tell them to brush well or brush after eating certain foods. It’s as simple as that.
    If you can tell a guy/girl about their mouth odour and they actually make efforts to eliminate it, you should consider starting something with them.
    Not too many people accept criticism these days.

    • Anon

      August 13, 2016 at 6:16 pm

      It is not as simple as that.

      It could be gum disease or tooth decay. Also the Atkins diet (low carbohydrates or no carbohydrates diet,.) some types of medication, gastro, acid reflux. Just brushing will not eliminate it. It will just mask it for a very short time.

      A visit to the dentist will sort it out. Brushing well and brushing after eating some types of food will not sort out halitosis.

  5. Ebere

    August 13, 2016 at 5:48 pm

    I agree with you Nkem Ndem, I can’t stand bad breath and sometimes the people affected don’t seem to know. IN my office there is this very good looking guy, married but he has a very terrible stench. I am sure there are drugs that can help with halitosis. The things some women endure. And one woman will be very quick to jump into his arm and marry him. It is well o

  6. olanna&odenigbo

    August 13, 2016 at 5:57 pm

    My ex had MO, still does from time to time, I started dating him with it and encouraged him to visit the dentist, he did and it got better…..but laziness and incosistensy had it popping up from time to time, and sometimes i’d gently point it out, other times I’ll let sleeping dogs lie… but would certainly not let him go out with it if I notice… .it can get pretty bad, but I chose to focus on the person more than the breathe……he was good, but with adjoining issues overtime, we called it quits… wish him well.

  7. AwkwardFromBirth

    August 13, 2016 at 6:46 pm

    People with mouth odour talk the most, and they win arguments easily too 😀

    • Nkem Ndem

      August 13, 2016 at 7:32 pm

      LMAO. Yes oh!

    • Anita

      August 13, 2016 at 7:40 pm

      Why not. Do you want to continue the argument and keep inhaling the stench. Let him win and go jor.

    • Leah

      August 13, 2016 at 8:57 pm

      Lol! Good one. Of course they win, to talk to have to exhale and INHALE.

  8. Bey

    August 13, 2016 at 7:12 pm

    I have a colleague who sits next to me, a guy that has really bad MO. Even from afar I can smell it, and I’m sure I’m not d only one dat smells it.
    Funny thing is he’s a really good looking guy dat dresses so sharply (I’m married, not interested). I wonder if his girlfriends don’t smell it.
    Shld I one day tell him bcos we are really close?
    I’m afraid it may hurt him, our friendship. Really wish I cld advice him to perhaps switch to Euthymol toothpaste and a really good mouthwash. How do I go abt it, or I shld just mind my biz and ignore d smell. As our cubicles are quite close. Hmmmmmmm

    • donald trump

      August 13, 2016 at 7:42 pm

      Buy a new SIM, tell your maid to register it, then use the SIM to text him with all the advice you have for and throw the SIM away. You will be saving the climate, trust me.

    • lawee

      August 13, 2016 at 8:41 pm

      Agbari 4 1 9 !

    • Nv

      August 14, 2016 at 8:34 am

      Bwahahahaha!

    • Lucinda

      August 13, 2016 at 9:21 pm

      Ask him what toothpaste he uses. Whatever he says, tell him to change it. He will understand. You can even lie that you used to have MO with that toothpaste too. He will ask what you used. Then give recommendations.

    • lolarae

      August 15, 2016 at 10:04 am

      Hmm. I told my colleague on a sunday morning. I was in church and decided to send her a text. The things is she isnt in my dept but she came to visit me during the week at work. Few minutes after she walked into the office and strolled to my desk, everyone around me took off. After she left, my supervisor called me and told me to tell her or she should never come visiting. She had body odour.

      I regret telling her cos we havent spoken till date. She was mad i didnt say anything earlier.
      I agree with the comment above, Buy a new sim and text her then throw the sim away forever. lol.

  9. ATL's finest

    August 13, 2016 at 7:30 pm

    Lmao @ all these comments. BO & MO I can’t STAND any. Yes it’s not their fault but mehn the smell alone can make someone puke.

  10. Adaure Njoku

    August 13, 2016 at 8:19 pm

    ???

  11. Paul Adeyemo

    August 13, 2016 at 8:19 pm

    So women don’t have mouth odour. Rubbish post as usual to demean Naija men

    • Bey

      August 13, 2016 at 8:25 pm

      Oga Paul, u do know dis isn’t d only blog in naija. Bella mostly covers women issues and mostly have women contributors.
      Why not try naira land or Sahara or wats it called again.

    • Leah

      August 13, 2016 at 9:02 pm

      Paul no vex. Women do have the same problem, but in this case since most of us here are women, we are just gossiping about men who do. Who said we don’t love our Naija men? you guys are the best.

  12. Nwa nna

    August 13, 2016 at 8:27 pm

    Breath so stank you feel like you’re being assaulted with an AK-47!! Lmao.. ???
    Has anyone else noticed that it’s typically folks with bad breath that want to be right in your face when talking to you?! And all the while you can’t hear a single word coming out of their mouth because of how bad their breathe is ???
    Good personal hygiene is must, there’s no if or but about it as far as I’m concerned.

  13. Uzoma Uduma

    August 13, 2016 at 8:28 pm

    I understand bad breath…especially the type this cool guy had…comes from within! This really really scares me! And I don’t know why bad breath carriers wouldn’t just keep quiet! And they won’t talk to you without leaning in…ewooo!

  14. That African

    August 13, 2016 at 8:40 pm

    My boss has chronic MO. I made the mistake of looking into his mouth one day. His teeth was fully coved with plague. I could see no enamel. And even with that it looked like it was gradually rotting.
    I wonder how his wife copes. He always carries gum around the but don’t make the mistake of standing close to him when he’s talking in the mornings. Most times I just hold my breath and nod quickly to everything he says

    I also wonder what must have caused that and if there’s a remedy

    • Lucinda

      August 13, 2016 at 9:24 pm

      Scaling and polishing.

  15. Niyoola

    August 13, 2016 at 8:44 pm

    You could brush your teeth regularly, floss, gargle with mouth wash, lemon BBaking soda, hydrogen peroxide and stil have mouth odour?

    Why? Tonsiliths!!!
    They are whitish small balls that smell like DEATH. I swear.
    They are in those small hole around your tonsils/uvula.
    Since that area is very delicate, picking it out has to be done very carefully. 
    You can use a curved plastic toothpick/floss stick, cotton bud or a high pressure spray of water.

    Always remember to gurgle with water after eating, to get rid of any tiny particles that will stray into the pockets.

    #thankmelater‎

  16. Ocean Beauty

    August 13, 2016 at 8:58 pm

    Brushing no dey help some people. I work in a company where the expats brush like 2-4 times during business hours, each day. It’s annoying that one manager will be speaking to you by 8am while brushing. I hate seeing myself brushing not to talk of staring at a full grown human being brushing and giving you a task to do. The plenty brushing sef no mean say MO no dey. Some peoples MO is beyond baking soda, lemon, oil pulling etc. it’s innate.

    • Nkem Ndem

      August 13, 2016 at 9:00 pm

      LOL @innate

  17. Aminu

    August 13, 2016 at 9:11 pm

    The poster makes it seem as if bad breath is one of the features of a full-fledged man. Sorry to burst your bubble ma, some ladies also have bad breath.

    • Idomagirl

      August 13, 2016 at 9:53 pm

      Nwokem read what she wrote again & stop being defensive, nowhere did she say only men can have mouth odour. Relax biko.

    • nwa nna

      August 13, 2016 at 11:37 pm

      @Aminu, Aboki no vex, e be like sey wetin she yarn dey pain you.. Here’s a mint gum as a peace offering from another me 🙂

  18. Idomagirl

    August 13, 2016 at 9:59 pm

    A lot of people brush, gargle, floss etc but still have MO because they neglect their tongue.
    A large % of the germs that cause MO can be found on the tongue.

    If your tongue is very sensitive and can be easily irritated by the bristles of a toothbrush, invest in a good tongue scraper. Scrape off all that gunk from your tongue.

    You don’t want to be that person walking around with draw-draw saliva or a white coating on their tongue ?

  19. When

    August 13, 2016 at 11:07 pm

    But Bro Tayo, you no try. A mean camon!!???

  20. nwa nna

    August 13, 2016 at 11:43 pm

    True story, dated this fine babe years ago and for whatever reason she did not like using any paste that contained mint which led to a case of bad breath. I took one for the team and carried on the relationship 😉 but avoided her kissing attempts like a mofo. Fast forward about 15 years later,we linked up again and her breath was still kicking like kung-fu, made no damn sense and she’s an extremely attractive woman…

  21. Ajala & Foodie

    August 13, 2016 at 11:48 pm

    I think many will be surprised especially in Nigeria that they suffer from MO, even people that complain about other people’s MO. The average Nigerian does not go for the bi-annual cleaning and that is needed by most humans to maintain a truly healthy mouth. Even many of our dentists don’t do a good job cleaning either. You see them using toothbrush to clean, as in regular manual toothbrush ooo…naaah that issh don’t work for in-depth cleaning that one should be getting from a dentist. So if you are reading this and you don’t have at least an annual in-depth cleaning (bi-annual preferably) and you are complaining about someone else’s MO, you might want to check yourself because you most likely have MO yourself. There are some things your regular toothbrush cannot handle no matter how often you brush and some people are prone to tartar build up than others so they need even more than the bi-annual cleaning required. I am no dentist, in case someone thinks I am trying to make money.

  22. Me

    August 14, 2016 at 12:15 am

    Ha ha ha! Very hilarious story. I laughed my way through this one.

  23. Adjoa Lily

    August 14, 2016 at 12:26 am

    These comments make me laugh????.

  24. Papacy

    August 14, 2016 at 1:29 am

    My Oga at work was sent to kill me with mouth odour. He’s always in your face talking. He exclaims a lot during every conversation “ah!”, “no oo!”, “am teliniu!”. Poor me go just de die one breath at a time. We even organized. a “health talk” in the office about personal hygiene and halitosis. Thinking he’ll take a hint. lai lai! Ayam tayad?

    • Perezbond

      August 14, 2016 at 11:56 am

      Really funny but sad. I don’t know why nobody ever tells anybody that has bad breath the truth. Maybe people will take offense? I learnt long ago that people with bad breath rarely get to know as a result I brush, floss,scrape tongue,gaggle, use mint, chew gum and maintain breath constantly to be safe. Because I know no body talks The Truth!

  25. Person

    August 14, 2016 at 1:46 am

    If you want to deal with bad breath, do the following:
    1. Invest in a Phillips Sonicare electric toothbrush. Expensive but worth it!!! Most people do not brush the recommended TWO full minutes. At least 15 seconds on each quadrant of your teeth. Using a Sonicare will take away the guesswork, it prompts you when it’s time to move to another section.
    2. Buy Dr. Tungs Stainless Steel tongue scraper. Use gently and take it all the way to the back of your throat. If it is your first time, prepare to puke at the sight of the gunk that will come off your tongue. Use it everyday!
    3. After brushing and cleaning your tongue, gargle with Therabreath Mouthwash for 30 seconds.
    4. See your dentist at least twice a year. This way, you’ll know if you have cavities that need to be filled (cavities stink, people) and you can get a deep cleaning!!!!

    Bad breath ruins lives! Don’t be a victim. LOL

  26. Felinda

    August 14, 2016 at 4:52 am

    #AlakijaTinz 🙂

    halitosis

    • BlueEyed

      August 14, 2016 at 6:52 am

      S-H-A-D-E !!!!!!

  27. Felinda

    August 14, 2016 at 7:01 am

    i have always wonder
    how does nollywood people deal with having to kiss co stars with bad breath which i think is 99% of them.if it were me i will ask for more money to kiss person for scene
    playing tonsil tennis with halotosis-chai

  28. Felinda

    August 14, 2016 at 7:02 am

    *wondered

  29. Mrs Somebody

    August 14, 2016 at 8:52 am

    I remember back when I was in school. We had an intervention for one of our neighbours in the lodge. His breath used to stink like kilode. And he used to like to hold all the girls and get in their faces. Ughh. He was upset for the first 2 weeks but after he hit jackpot with girls he was unable to before, we became his best friends. Lol

  30. Chisom Owoseni

    August 14, 2016 at 9:02 am

    Hmmmmm, oh boy, I can ‘t stand bad breath oh, no matter who you are or how handsome you may look. There are some smell I can stand but not mouth odour and body, Babe, you try sidon till service finish oh, me I for go stand outside.

  31. Aminu

    August 14, 2016 at 10:52 am

    @nwa nna, you must be a stupid fool. I’m sure your breath stinks so bad that even flies run for cover when you open that cesspit you call a mouth.

  32. Dave

    August 14, 2016 at 7:52 pm

    Hmmm, this is serious but my sister you broke one of the greatest commandments which is loving your neighbour as thyself without any conditions what so ever. For the fact that this actually happened in a worship place so definitely the teachings of the holy book doesn’t hold water. Brother Tayo is not a toaster so his predicament which is not ascertained is not known. I would have expected him to be shown more love and if possible find a way to pass across information to him about his situation assuming he doesn’t know and maybe ways for him to go in solving it. That way his belief and faith in the people around him could better be strengthened .

  33. Kenny Jossy

    August 14, 2016 at 8:29 pm

    @ Nkem Ndem thanks. Also @person thanks for your suggestion, Although i don’t have bad breath i always look for ways to keep my mouth fresh so people will be comfortable around me. I’ll invest in Phillips sonicare electric toothbrush and use my wisdom toothbrush to scrub my tongue. I use WISDOM toothbrush and I’ve been using it for a very longtime but my dentist told me is not good because the brittles are hard. I always tell guys, good hygiene is very important babes love guys who keep up.

  34. Don

    August 15, 2016 at 11:36 am

    This couldn’t be more timely. I forgot to brush before going to work this morning and when I realized (mouth started feeling funny), I quickly grabbed some walnuts from the car (they work like magic for halitosis), LOL.

  35. Solomon

    August 25, 2016 at 1:09 pm

    One needs to run some routine checks daily before leaving the house or meeting people. Checking for bad breath and body odour is very important. You may appear so charming and then these two issues can just take away the shine.

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