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Tajé Prest: Too Big to Find a Husband? “Nigerians, STOP BODY SHAMING!” It isn’t Your Business Nor is it Your Place

Tajé Prest

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taje prest bellanaija

The minute I moved back to Nigeria two years ago it became clear that although 75% of Nigerian women are plus size, it isn’t celebrated and some people even frown upon it. A lot of Nigerian women will go out of their way to walk up to a complete stranger after they see you have no ring on, just to let you know that you are too big to find a husband, or that you should lose “small weight”. Then we have the uncouth family members that see you after a long time and even before they say hello, the first thing that comes out of their mouth to you is weight-related – “o ti put on” “omg you’ve added”… added what?

I’m the first to shut down negative comments and very quick to put you in your place. I try to avoid responding to older people’s snark but I’ll be the first to walk away if you try to ruin my day because I’m a size you’re not comfortable with. No need to say, “I’m sure she hates herself, she’s just pretending”, those are your own insecurities you’re projecting on the easiest target. Here’s my thing, if you aren’t close enough to the person then don’t say a word to them; keep your unsolicited advice to yourself. And if you are close to the person; until you notice that it is affecting their entire being, be it health or emotions, it isn’t your place either. Every plus size person is fully aware that they are big, they aren’t blind, they see themselves in the mirror every day.

Since I’ve moved to Nigeria, I’ve experienced some ugly behaviour. If I didn’t have tough skin I’d probably hide in my shell and never go out, I’m going to share some of my experiences with you just so you know you’re not alone. Body shaming is very common in Nigeria, its either you’re too big or you’re too skinny. To the trolls it’s either “you’re too big because you’re overeating and not exercising” or “you’re too skinny because you have no food” – there’s never a better reason for your size they don’t understand.

Taje Prest

Taje Prest at AMVCA 2015

Let me digress for a minute; the ideal size for Nigerian women I’ve found is a small 12. That’s the size you need to be if ‘skinny’ isn’t for you and you want to be accepted. My thing is, why are you trying to be accepted by people that make no difference in your life?

There was a day I stopped to use an ATM in Lekki Phase 1 and some uneducated individual also waiting to use the ATM felt it was his due diligence to society to say, and I quote, “you should do some sports, maybe running or something.” I say uneducated because an educated man wouldn’t be so rude. His friend in his car heard him and told him off immediately. I laughed, and told him off with a two-part sentence, and walked back to my car. I smiled because his friend told him off so I didn’t have to say much and my appearance bothered him so much he felt he had to say something. Show-stopper or nah? 😀

Another experience was when I attended the AMVCA 2015 in a gold bandage dress with my arms out on the red carpet, which I usually don’t do. Social media platforms put out first photos on their Instagram pages and comments started pouring in. One person commented “she looks like the Malt bottle behind her,” another said “does she have friends?” Mind you that day I felt extremely sexy and nothing was going to get me down, everybody at the event kept showering me with compliments so really I was flying high.

There are a lot more examples but I’m sure you have some of your own, please do share. Let others know we’re all in this together. I’m going to use myself as an example; I LOVE myself, flaws and all. My weight is the queen of fluctuation. Because my body is the first to get tired of a workout routine or a meal plan and I have to switch things up from time to time but that doesn’t mean that I hate myself; in fact it’s the exact opposite. I love myself even harder because my self-love makes up for all the negativity that may come at me on the daily. Generally, it’s that my bum is too big it’s causing problems. This is a problem I embrace with open arms; I’d rather my dress fit with my curves sitting right than look straight as a ruler in a bodycon dress.

Nigerians – most especially women, STOP BODY SHAMING! The men generally like plus size women for reasons I’ll share in another post soon. Just because a woman is plus size doesn’t mean “she cant find a man”, doesn’t mean she overeats, doesn’t mean she doesn’t exercise, doesn’t mean she’s lazy, most especially it doesn’t mean she doesn’t love herself!

With her stretchmarks, rolls, cellulite and every flaw in-between, it isn’t your business nor is it your place to say something to the big woman you saw buying chocolate at the grocery store. It could easily be for someone and if it isn’t its not your business; let’s learn to leave everyone to live their lives, so people aren’t afraid to shop for someone else because the things on the list might cause glaring stares and whispers.

Body shaming is played out; from the plus size and ‘skinny’ people, we’re all over it.

Taje is a popular TV Presenter, host, producer and personality in Nigeria with phenomenal credits from some of the hottest and well-received shows to date, she writes for StyleVitae, AboutThatCurvyLife and has featured on many hit shows on EbonyLife TV and Spice TV.Taje is the resident presenter for DZRPT's hit show - The Wedding Guest with Tajé, and has many shows in store coming up this year. She is also a star on the reality TV show "Here & Now: The Adventures of TASA""I love the camera and talking is my business. I'm a fitness fanatic; I love to sing and I love Nigeria despite its many flaws. "Instagram - @missvivacioust Twitter@missvivacioust Facebook - facebook.com/TWGshow Web - www.TajePrest.com

106 Comments

  1. Donald Trump

    August 16, 2016 at 4:35 pm

    If not for anything, please lose some weight for health reasons.

    • jennietobbie

      August 16, 2016 at 4:57 pm

      I’ll pass because you’re “Donald Trump”. Love trumps hate, after all.

    • Abi

      August 16, 2016 at 4:57 pm

      See your life! Maybe you also should concentrate on winning the US elections first. Busybody!

    • Seriously

      August 16, 2016 at 5:03 pm

      Shaming is everywhere. And technology has given people more platform to vent out their anger and frustration on others. Many are projecting their own insecurities. Many think it’s a new form of comedy and how to be cool by degrading others. Nigerians specifically are blatantly rude and highly critical. My aunt saw me recently, she said you have become too fat and use cream to fix the stretch marks. . Meanwhile she’s borderline obese but I’m not suppose to say anything due to “Nigerian respect”. Educated people are bullies, it has nothing to do with being educated or exposed. My thing is, just love yourself and be confident in who you are. Bullying have been going on forever, it’s now that people are more bold and vocal.

    • EC

      August 16, 2016 at 6:39 pm

      And did she tell you she is unhealthy?

  2. EC

    August 16, 2016 at 4:39 pm

    My dear it is indeed none of their business. Keep being fabulous. They say that to anyone regardless of their size

  3. Gorgeous

    August 16, 2016 at 4:49 pm

    She carries herself well. It may just be the way she dresses sometimes. Through her dressing has greatly improved from this pics. I saw one video of an event she covered. First time i came across the name and OOHH LAWD, everything was everywhere. 😀

    • Gorgeous

      August 16, 2016 at 4:50 pm

      Though*

  4. Fifi

    August 16, 2016 at 4:52 pm

    Hahhaha please i dont issue with her weight it what she wears, that bandage dress was not for your body type, all the bulges abeg girl shift, you must be high

    • Shalewa

      August 16, 2016 at 7:03 pm

      But those shoes in the first picture are surely killing her feet! Haha take another look. Yanga get pain o. Comfort should be key o jare

  5. agadagodo

    August 16, 2016 at 4:52 pm

    The men generally like plus size women for reasons I’ll share in another post soon.

    I disagree with the above. Who told you? Who carried out the poll among men?? My dear, nobody wanna keep a fat (plus size is a nice name) woman at home or go out with her and be laughed at. Stop deceiving yourself and lose the damn weight.

    • TY

      August 16, 2016 at 5:14 pm

      Its a shame some people still have this mentality.
      Let me educate you pls. We are all different in shapes and sizes as our genes are different. Some people have conditions that prevent them from loosing weight no matter how hard they try. They don’t even eat half of most slim girls take, but what can they do?
      Some cant even shed the weight after child birth, not because they didn’t put so much effort. Pls learn to respect people’s differences. They didn’t create themselves.

    • Li2ann

      August 16, 2016 at 5:28 pm

      N who told u no one wants a fat wife? Have u done the pole yourself? Please state facts n don’t just talk anyhow

    • Nigerian Men

      August 16, 2016 at 8:16 pm

      No one wants a fat wife

    • Bey

      August 16, 2016 at 6:40 pm

      Abeg swerve
      Is your mother not fat ?

    • Tilta

      August 16, 2016 at 9:14 pm

      why involving his/her mother in this matter?…it shows you don’t have respect for your own motther

    • Mz Titilitious

      August 17, 2016 at 11:03 am

      and see 58 peeps like her liking the comment? smh disrespectful bunch!

    • Pretty girl

      August 16, 2016 at 10:00 pm

      My dear agadagodo u are the one decving ur self there are men in that nigeria or men in general that like their women big.

    • Mz Titilitious

      August 17, 2016 at 11:03 am

      liked*

    • BlueEyed

      August 17, 2016 at 12:12 am

      But aren’t plus-sized women getting married everyday all around the world ? Please you are a terrible person with a flawed thinking, We have noted your stupidity, now go back to the cave you crawled out of.

  6. Le coco

    August 16, 2016 at 4:53 pm

    very well said Taje… people trully cant mind their business.. i laugh every time people say NIgerian men like BIG women.. if thats the case why r so many big women single.. human beings cant let you rest… the truth is there is a hatred for big Nigerian women specfically.. all the men that have bashed the likes of toolz and taje will turn around and marry a foreign woman that is 10 times larger.. i dont gerrit.. let everyone be the size they were meant to be.. stop fat/ skinny shaming.. that a women is big doesnt mean she is unhealthy “i myself have trained with multiple fitness coaches who were on the bigger side” .. and while we are at it.. stop skinny shaming.. .. why make someone feel bad for the way they are.. just cus u r skinny doesnt mean you are healthy.. and just cus you are big doesnt mean u r “unhealthy” . i hve actually met a young lady who was a size 4 with a high sugar and cholestorol level.. you would guess just by looking at her. STOP THE SHAMING

    • Donald Trump

      August 16, 2016 at 5:05 pm

      Hi, are you fat? hahahahahahahahahahaha

    • Le coco

      August 16, 2016 at 6:04 pm

      @donald trump.. no i am not fat… but i will not SHAME anyone… even if someone is fat whats ur own business. mtchew.. Nigerians for ever minding other peoples business since 19.. gbogboro

    • Mr. Egghead

      August 17, 2016 at 2:32 am

      @le coco, I’m sure you know the reason why Nigerian men in the diaspora go after the fat white women.

      tip: it is not because they like them big

  7. Chi

    August 16, 2016 at 4:54 pm

    TAJE, I love you for this!!!

    Nigerians should face their front !

  8. otapiapia

    August 16, 2016 at 5:07 pm

    The only thing Nigeria women are interested in is body,figure 8, cream,banging body,big nyash, breast, pointed nippu,bleaching, shoes,clothes, material and vain things.
    You hardly see them engage in any intellectual discourse. Just look at the rubbish giving them headache-body shamming. Vain set of humans, Nonsense

    • Nahum

      August 16, 2016 at 7:52 pm

      GBAMMEST!!! God bless you for this!!! Can our Naija ladies please cut it out with all this stupid nonsense??? If we are not talking of hair, we are debating bleaching, or makeup, or who should stay home and cook, or sex styles to keep your man…KINI??? Can’t we as women focus on other things? Must our world circle around what men approve or disapprove? Meanwhile o, after looking like Miss World, cooking like Chef Ramsey, and sexing like a pornstar, bros will still go and look for Nkechi, Bimpe and Fatima as side chicks. Abeg!!!!

    • Sarah

      August 17, 2016 at 1:16 am

      Omg. You people that are always looking for better intellectual discourse on bella piss me off. Darling you saw the title of the article, clicked on it only to complain of the content. Bella Naija has various contents from politics to career and to Economics and world news. All you intellectuals should comment and make your tents there. There’s never any comments on those topics, but we always find you ‘intellectuals’ complaining here in the ‘petty topics’ coments. Some people prefer the petty topics on bella and are satisfied with the less intellectual discuss. Keep it moving & Let them be. Go read the newspaper or watch CNN kmt

    • ATL's finest

      August 17, 2016 at 6:50 am

      God bless U for this comment & lmao @ your name 🙂 can’t recall when. Last I heard such ???

    • NotStoneColdSteveAustin

      August 18, 2016 at 2:40 pm

      @otapiapia. God will definitely bless you for this comment. I just tire for my fellow women. Pls lets make money abeg! Hian!

  9. LemmeRant

    August 16, 2016 at 5:31 pm

    Lol.

    The average nigerian woman is ready to “finances-shame”, “pedigree shame”, “height-shame”, “english-shame” and after recent blog posts “mouth-odour-shame” and lets not forget “oshiomole-shame” any Nigerian man (Notice I said Nigerian man) that doesn’t fit into their fantasy of a perfect specimen. But you no won loose weight.

    You cannot go to the gym, you cannot take long walks, you cannot diet right but you’ll be the first set of people to bind and cast sean tizzle for dj cuppy’s sake. Don’t go and hit the gym and shed that ugly fat. You’re looking for who will accept you for who you are.

    You better realize you’re in luck at least you can do something about your weight. Its not as if you’re physically deformed or you’re a vertically challenged man.

    Kontinuu consoling yourselves there, don’t wake up to reality.

    • Bey

      August 16, 2016 at 6:42 pm

      You my dear are sick…………….

    • True

      August 16, 2016 at 8:47 pm

      Yup. women only realize body shaming is bad when its done to them.
      I am yet to see a picture of Iara and adams oshiomole on this blog where the ladies here are not busy throwing all shades of insults to the man. sean tizzle was they’re most recent victim. I can fish out countless articles on this blog where these same women were unrepentfully bashing and shaming men that have done nothing to them.

      But when its the case of the fat lady, we all have to sugar coat things to make them feel better.

  10. Gbolahan

    August 16, 2016 at 5:36 pm

    Taje isn’t even that big. She’s a very beautiful woman too. I don’t understand Nigerians and their obsession with people’s weight. It’s annoying. There are lot of slim singles and there are plus sized singles. Being single in Nigeria is not a function of size. I married a woman(who I’m very much still in love with after so many years) who people considered obese(22), today she’s size 14. Weight is something that can be lost or gained, actors and actresses do it all the time. A lot of people that married as size 4 ladies are now size 18/20 years down the line. Please leave people and their weight alone. My daughter is really young(5), and she’s always asking why she isn’t skinny like her friends and she wants to be skinny like her friends and she doesn’t want to eat because boys in grade 2 don’t like fat girls. She’s not even fat(bigger than her mates but not fat).I already see a huge problem coming in future with self esteem and all. Although her mum is partly to blame. Always telling the girl not to eat candy or ice cream when all her mates and brothers are taking it, making her feel like she has a problem. I have told her to stop but she’s yet to get the memo. Always saying “I don’t want her to sufffer like I did.” There’s also another very beautiful lady in my office, about a size 18 but her beauty is breathtaking. I see the way some ladies who are not as quater as beautiful as she is make jest of her and its just sad. Very beautifull, decent girl. Nigerians and people in general need to really take it easy with this weight issue. That’s how people do drastic things all in the name of weight loss. So that people can say you’re beautiful and move on with their lives. Be healthy though. Health is not directly proportional to weight. Maybe I should write an article or something.

    • Le coco

      August 16, 2016 at 6:08 pm

      gbolahan u be better person.. and my heart is breaking that your daughter already feels that way… you and your wife should encourage good eating habits but not outright ban candy for only your daughter.. it will really damage her self esteem..

    • Felinda

      August 16, 2016 at 7:55 pm

      oh my gosh this breaks my heart your 5 yr old is asking Why cant she be slim like her friends

      Please do your best to encourage her every single day especially since you are the father (your opinion as man means more than mommys)- all day. Dont just say it – show it- Like one weekend you will take her to the restaurant and say something like _I am taking you out to celebrate your beauty – you are so beautiful – keep drumming in her ears till she hears nothing else, besides you the father is her first boyfriend (literally) so how you treat her is her Expectation of her future boyfriend. To top it off THE BEST GIFT A MAN CAN GIVE HIS KIDS IS TO LOVE THEIR MOM – SHOW IT DAILY IN YOUR HOUSE – THEY ARE WATCHING

      It breaks my heart when lil girls are body conscious. My sister use to tell my niece watch what you are eating – you are getting fat, then my mom will say same too – my niece was just 12 and i did not like that – i talked to them to stop it and they have – now all the flesh she had has melted off naturally as she grew up – she is now 15 tall and normal weight.

      Parents becareful the words you sue for your kids, nieces nephews.
      \
      I do a of youtube excercise videos and it breaks my heart when i read comments on such videos (eg Jillian Michaels 30 day shred 28 min video) – you will see in the comments some lil girl will come on there taling about “I am 10 yrs or 12 yrs old i am 110 or 120lbs – please how long do i have to do this exercise to get to 90lb” -i mean unbelievable the young lil girls alll body conscious especially here in america.

      No this is wrong – this has to stop. Lets all help each other encourage this young generation. Choose your words when talking to them – sometimes it affects them the rest of their lifes

    • Fleur

      August 17, 2016 at 1:22 pm

      I hear you but also tell your daughter she should not be interested in boys liking her at this grade 2

  11. mzChyka

    August 16, 2016 at 5:47 pm

    @ Otapiapia
    oh please shut up…Nigerian women including your mum, huh? shame
    if you don’t have anything (intelligent) to say then just shut up. that the topic of discourse doesn’t interest you, does not make it any less important or intelligent
    ewu gambia

    • Nahum

      August 16, 2016 at 7:55 pm

      My sister, stop it. He/she spoke the truth. You know our Naija women shy away from intellectual discourse. You sef know this.

    • Mama

      August 17, 2016 at 7:19 am

      Why do you people just find it so easy to throw insults because you’re anonymous? Did the person insult you? Couldn’t you have the same thing without the vile and bile? Hian!

  12. Xoxo

    August 16, 2016 at 5:54 pm

    Ehn bia just like you were asking the writer who carried out the polls, who carried out your own polls? To each his own. Some men love fat women. I’m not even playing right now while some men love skinny or moderate sized women. Some don’t even care about the size. So please keep quiet and take several seats.

  13. glow

    August 16, 2016 at 6:15 pm

    “I’d rather my dress fit with my curves sitting right than look straight as a ruler in a bodycon dress. “….i lifted this from your article and dearTaje, this. is definitely. body shaming slim. gals…..no?

    • Scorpio

      August 16, 2016 at 7:06 pm

      My exact reaction Glow….God bless you.Dear Taje, I dont know about other skinny babes o, but I didnt create myself and if i could….I would love to be a size 6 at least.

    • Littlemisssunshine

      August 16, 2016 at 8:00 pm

      Thank you glow!!! I thought the same thing when I read this. I wonder why big girls can’t talk about weight related issues without insulting slim girls!

    • Tilta

      August 16, 2016 at 8:02 pm

      My thought exactly. she said ‘nigerians should stop body shaming’ at the same time doing exactly what she’s kicking against…Exactly my Problem with Nigerians, most are bunch of hypocrites!

    • Smh

      August 16, 2016 at 9:04 pm

      God bless you for typing this. You’ve saved me a lot of time.

      Imagine the nerve…you want people to stop body shaming you but in the same breath say people are as straights as rulers when they aren’t as fat as you are. You deserve everything you get Taje…from this comment alone, it’s clear you are very bitter and are also a big hypocrite. It’s probably your attitude hindering your “progress” and not your weight.

    • Bleed Blue

      August 16, 2016 at 10:14 pm

      I too was kind of enjoying the article till I got to that part. I got stuck reading that line over and over and wondering if the irony was made on purpose…

      Classic body shaming.

      Taje, that bit wasn’t very comforting to skinny girls who are going through the very thing you seek to enlighten against.

    • Ellena

      August 17, 2016 at 1:49 am

      My thoughts exactly!
      You are body shaming skinny girls while asking someone else to “mind his business” concerning your own body? Smh

    • Mimi

      August 17, 2016 at 7:51 am

      Exactly my thought… You just body shamed slim girls and you be ashamed of yourself for doing that! Hypocrisy!

    • Koffie

      August 17, 2016 at 5:01 pm

      You said it all Glow. The nerves! To complain about bodyshaming and in the same breath, you’re bodyshaming slim/skinny women. She failed in her attempt to be neutral by writing ‘whether slim or big’ somewhere in her article.
      I really can’t deal with people who get their confidence from shaming others and this is a common thing with plus-size women in Nigeria. They come up with the darndest things.
      I actually think Taje looks beautiful in her body (same with Cornelia) and like everybody else, dressing for your body type is key. I can’t imagine some of the hurtful words/stares she’s had to deal with but shading women who look different from you won’t solve the problem.

  14. MEMEBaby

    August 16, 2016 at 6:18 pm

    Nigerian aunties and fatness.. one aunty like that came to visit.. my sister who is a “fitfam” lord.. sexy sumtin.. just with chubby cheeks..
    this aunty saw my sis and mom.. now she’s talking to my mom “ah, when she come dey fat, e nor be like this d last time I see her oo , wetin una dey chop for dis place,? ” this woman kept on going on and would not shut up.. mind you , my sis is a size 2-4 and my sis wasn’t happy .. I don’t think I’ve seen her eat since then ..wth man lol
    I came to greet her with my size 12 self. .”ah, you too?” .. I just laughed and left..
    Nigerians, especially the ones back home.. HAVE A FILTER WOULD YOU !! thanks 🙂

  15. Bodunade

    August 16, 2016 at 6:34 pm

    This topic is recycled every 2 weeks.

    As long as you are happy and healthy and have someone who isn’t ashamed of you you are good.
    Women shame broke, short, bald, slim, hairy, single men every time. Men shame women for many reasons too.
    Moral : Love yourself and accept what you can’t change. And never ever accept Cow faeces!

  16. Felinda

    August 16, 2016 at 6:53 pm

    I dont know Taje but like Gabrielle Sidibes Character you have no choice but to love her
    I dont care about her weight. I just love her.

    shes like a friend in my heard

    She has the most beautiful personality – many skinny bitches wish they had. You cant buy class or personality and that is what many big ladies i admire have such as Taje, Gabrielle Sidibe etc

    No I am not fat i am petite 5ft 145lb with goal of 127lb -34D-30-40 – women we are never satisfied with our bodies but dont body shame another just cos you hate your damn self. Focus on you and your personality

    Taje ignore the haters

    Sometimes when haters hate it has nothing to do with you – its because they hate themselves. Look for that quote on instagram and put on your page.

    • Ekene

      August 16, 2016 at 7:55 pm

      Why are you always filled with bile. What do you mean by skinny bitches. If she is your friend, I believe she will have your attitude too.

    • Jade

      August 16, 2016 at 10:17 pm

      Felinda, you need an attitude doctor to sort you out. Get help fast!

    • Nwanyi na aga aga

      August 17, 2016 at 9:45 am

      Felinda, go and loose weight, “skinny bitches ” did not confer the weight on you. You call people skinny bitches, what if they called you a ” fat fool”? All of you are hypocrites. You are angry that you are fat and you think it’s the fault of slim ppl. Nonsense! You body shame ppl and ask not to be body shamed. Better help yourself and rid yourself of the unnecessary anger! Msheeeew!

  17. Felinda

    August 16, 2016 at 6:53 pm

    in my *head

  18. Bey

    August 16, 2016 at 6:55 pm

    Last family function I attended I experienced this in d highest form. Mind you I am presently a Uk14 after I had my baby, always been a 10/12 but just finding it difficult to loose the last bit of weight. I did loose weight to a size 12 during maternity before I resumed work bcos I followed a meal plan, jogged on lekki bridge in d am, den gym at night.
    Went back to work and weight crept back to 14. Now I’m eating rite, not strict and do 10,000 steps a day and I’m still struggling. I loose, I gain. But I’m getting dere.
    If pisses me off bcos a lot of aunties do dis bcos deyv always known me to be small. But some claim not to recognise me again shiorrrr.
    My husband hasn’t even noticed if I’m 10,12,14. He just jokes so far d boobs don’t go down, lol.
    It’s a struggle. Smone even said make sure u don’t get fat ur 2nd pregnancy. See your mum, she’s even slimmer dan you. Meanwhile I am prettier than dese aunties and dere kids put 2geda. It ain’t easy mehnnnnn.

  19. sekinaa

    August 16, 2016 at 6:56 pm

    I think Taje is just fishing for compliments. She wants us to say ooh aah you are big and beautiful, thick etc… Madam, fat isnt healthy. Have you checked your BMI lately?

  20. Felinda

    August 16, 2016 at 7:02 pm

    Heavy set Ladies i admire ( i refuse to call them fat) – regardless of their weight – i will cal them vuluptous.

    1. Anee Icha – nigerian actress
    2. Jill Scott – american singer/actresss
    3. Taje – nigerian oap
    4. Toolz – nigerian oap
    5. Gabrielle Sidibe – american actress

    i think the word fat is insulting

    • Bodunade

      August 16, 2016 at 7:54 pm

      Jill Scott so I had to jump in.

      This fat issue is mind over matter. If you don’t mind it won’t matter really.

      Why does fat carry so much negative energy. If fat people cant be called fat as a matter of fact, like we call people slim, rich etc then what has the world come to?? Political correctness AKA censorship. More and more people won’t say what they mean.
      Truth with Tact over false politeness all day!

    • Observer

      August 17, 2016 at 2:43 pm

      Gabriel Sidibe is NOT Voluptous!!!! She is clinically obese!

    • Mr. Egghead

      August 18, 2016 at 1:06 am

      @Observer . . . please tell them o!

  21. bruno

    August 16, 2016 at 7:14 pm

    ” it isn’t your business nor is it
    your place to say something to the big woman
    you saw buying chocolate at the grocery store. It
    could easily be for someone”

    if I hear.lol

    taje u are not healthy. ur internal organs are begging you for mercy. ur heart, ur liver, ur lungs are working over time. being obese is not fashionable. it is not curves is it fat. unhealthy fat. fat people eat too much. its such a turn off. taje I can tell u are not happy. over weight people are usually unhappy with themselves. pls lose weight. look at lepacious bose. she has lost so much weight. she is so much happier. clothes even look better on her now.

    taje a young girl like u looking so huge. pls its not fashionable anymore. maybe in the olden days, everybody wanted to be fat cause being fat is a sign of wealth.having a pot belly mean u are a big man. but today, hell no. monique is another example, when she was fat, she kept insulting slim girls but look at her now, she’s trying her best to lose weight. taje pls lose weight, u won’t be bitter about urself cause this ur essay reeks of self hatred.

  22. Ene

    August 16, 2016 at 7:20 pm

    I am 5ft 7 and 100kg. Before childbirth I was 65kg.This means I am obese. I have gained so much weight now. I have lived on both sides on the divide. As a slim and as a fat person. In my opinion,Life is easier for the slimmer person. You don’t get out of breath all the time, Your clothes fit better and as you get older you stand the chance of living a healthier life. So I speak for myself when I say I think we all need to live more active lifestyles. walk when you can instead of driving and try to limit starch consumption. I was able to lose 7kg and Hopefully I will meet my target of losing 2kg per month for a year. In summary be the healthiest you can be. Your body will thank you for it.

  23. Bey

    August 16, 2016 at 7:50 pm

    What people also fail to note is we are all built differently. Taje may never be a size 2 except she eats a carrot a day. Dats her; Another size 2 may eat 10 burgers a day and still remain a size 2 forever.
    Weight isn’t all just food, but genetics is a huge factor.
    Iv always been btw a Uk 10/12 den 14 after baby. I do diet and excercise but moderately.
    I have a friend who excercises way more than me, eats totally clean, sometimes doesn’t even eat. I clearly eat 2wce of what she eats. And she struggles to be a Uk 16/18 on a good day.
    Her family is heavy set, dere hips are smthn else. Before she can ever attain a 12. She wld probably have to live on 500 calories a day.
    While some of us are born tall, some are short. Some will be heavy set, while some will be skinny minis. That is the beauty of live. God created us differently, even to race for a reason.

  24. wendy

    August 16, 2016 at 8:26 pm

    This is the society that we live in.
    I am going thru this . Had a baby late yr. the weight came after the baby. Everywhere I go.. people are like u don fat o!!!
    I could not believe it. When someone stepped up to me and said. Wow! Na only one u born and u look like this ?? This was 5mths after the baby. Mind u this girl used to be big. I was the one who took her to the gym the first time. I even showed her what to do. i Taught her how to control her diet.
    I just talk for my mind say I no blame her sha… This is what happens when u deal with local girl.
    Anyhoo! She don inspire to put in work 10X to loose this weight.

  25. Tiana

    August 16, 2016 at 8:36 pm

    She is not even that big sef.. she is in proportion….. all these is coming from other women
    . I actually think men prefer women with more bounce but socierty n western culture have sold the skinny image.. skinny by force ni.. no way.. i like my size 12 so when i wear clothes it shows my hips well well.. i just look healthy n not sick this way.. when i was size 8 i looked ill but at the time i thought i looked nice.. women ehnmnm .. now i occupy my mind with more important stuff not calories .. balaned diet is the way.. a bit of everything

  26. bruno

    August 16, 2016 at 8:55 pm

    bellanaija post my comment. it is the plain truth.

    bellanaija pls post the chart of the ideal weight of a person based on height. its on the internet.

    u will discover that many of u are over weight. all this fat is not good for u. its is not curves. I am saying this cause I care about ur health. no doctor will encourage u to have “curves”. doctors in the house biko tell them.

    and in case u didnt know. fat people are the ones that body shame others the most. they always call slim people skinny bitches, tooth pick, ruler, letter I.
    u can call a slim girl all the names in the book but that slim girl is healthier than u. it is health we are trying to promote here.

    • Message to an idiot

      August 16, 2016 at 9:21 pm

      You are an unrepentant fool..

  27. F

    August 16, 2016 at 8:57 pm

    You can’t write an article about body shaming and say how you wouldn’t want to look like a ‘ruler’ in your dress. Like common. It shows how hypocritical you are. As a size 6 girl I am very offended by that statement. People always think slim girls don’t have feelings and can make comments like that. So unnecessary. Pls don’t write about body shaming and then body shame in the same article. Makes no sense.

    • LemmeRant

      August 16, 2016 at 9:43 pm

      Sorry to say, but this is how the average nigerian woman thinks.

      You can cry foul when things aren’t going your way but have no qualms dishing the same treatment to other people. Very one sided mentality.

  28. Abiola

    August 16, 2016 at 9:01 pm

    Please Taje,
    I enjoyed reading ur post today that was before i realizd anyway that it was slanted towards only ur body shape…. U are imploring that people shouldstop body shaming but at the same time u made this irresponsible comment:

    ” I’d rather my dress fit with my curves sitting right than look straight as a ruler in a bodycon dress.”

    Or abi u are not aware that “straight as a ruler” is some peoples body shape and yet u are carrying banner for fat women but feel no way about body shaming skinny women? It is evident from dat comment that u r not concerned with ppl body shaming women but rather ppl insulting and shaming FAT WOMEN. Be real girl.

  29. truth

    August 16, 2016 at 9:03 pm

    I don’t like FAT – periods, the sight is unpleasant to my libido

    • ndidi

      August 16, 2016 at 9:51 pm

      I do not like your English grammar PERIOD!! not periods 🙂 and that is THE TRUTH 🙂

      BN i am having a headache reading through these comments.

    • Mz Titilitious

      August 17, 2016 at 11:06 am

      dem force u? LMAO 😀 😀

  30. Wade

    August 16, 2016 at 9:09 pm

    It’s ironic that Taje wrote this article to call out body shaming, however she does exactly that with this sentence “This is a problem I embrace with open arms; I’d rather my dress fit with my curves sitting right than look straight as a ruler in a bodycon dress.”. This sentence insults skinny women without curves by calling them straight as a ruler which is rather derogatory. Alas, even though she includes skinny ladies in her write up, it would seem that she is only actually concerned about body shaming plus sized ladies because she is plus sized. As she obviously has no qualms referring to skinny ladies in derogatory terms. Sad.

  31. Rose

    August 16, 2016 at 9:38 pm

    That is how I went for my sisters son baptism… And I was feeling fly…FYI I am a size small…us size 4…sometimes I even wear extra small….I then saw one girl that I have knw but have never spoken to before….and she had d the guts to touch me and say sm1 is getting fat…I was so mad….like who the hell is this Chick…. FYI she was/is pregnant and all swollen and dirty black….but I know its d pregnancy so I won’t say anything disrespectful….plus its not even my business…. But yeaaa I was so pissed…. Like who they hell are you… Do I know you….meanwhile I was wearing a loose dress that day….mtchewwwwwww

    • Me

      August 16, 2016 at 10:50 pm

      Sorry. You’d have just smiled at her and said: ” dont worry. You’ll lose the weight after the baby.”

  32. Baddo Sneh

    August 16, 2016 at 9:48 pm

    All this talk about body shaming. All I know is that women -shame other Women and Men that Men do.

  33. Bey

    August 16, 2016 at 10:18 pm

    Madam are you a ruler???
    I’m not getting why u ppl are picking on dat statement.
    Is anyone really strait as a ruler? She didn’t atleast say I don’t want to be “thin” like Agbani or smthn. I don’t see how she’s body shaming here o.

    • Leila

      August 17, 2016 at 10:57 pm

      I am very straight. As in no curves at all. People refer to me as ruler or TD board and it upsets me.

      The way Taje made her statement there in reference to skinny girls is all too familiar.

      Make no mistake. She was body shaming.

  34. purplenile

    August 16, 2016 at 10:40 pm

    As people have already pointed out ‘ I’d rather my dress fit with my curves sitting right than look straight as a ruler in a bodycon dress.’ Prime example of body shaming.

  35. Aisha

    August 16, 2016 at 10:43 pm

    Hello Gbolahan. You have spoken with a lot of maturity and wisdom.
    There are a lot of healthy recipes for ice creams and all natural fruit popsicles which you all as a family can make together.
    This is a clever option to indulge your kids when they crave for something sweet; only this time, its sweet and natural.
    Please do not wait for esteem issues to kick in because it has a way of affecting every part of ones life. You and you wife need to come up with ways to tackle this situation head-on.
    Sorry for my rambles…I just felt to let you know of fun and more healthy options out there.
    Stay blessed.

  36. Rose

    August 16, 2016 at 10:47 pm

    Sounds like she’s trying to convince herself…

  37. Simi

    August 16, 2016 at 10:47 pm

    I actually really like this look on her except of the fact that the hair is too close to the colour of the dress. This is one of my best looks of her. But obviously, for Naija, what do I know?

  38. Me

    August 17, 2016 at 12:46 am

    Guys take it easy,am plus size and was celebrated on a popular blog on my birthday,i was emotionally distraught after reading the comments,it easily became my worst birthday in my life.We all have feelings to, why will someone who doesnt know me call me a hippo!!! Its crazy

  39. Shaktiva

    August 17, 2016 at 12:57 am

    I don’t think many, like with racism, know that it’s taught.

    Women fighting other women to push them out of the (dating-)market is common,
    it is known to them that men like ‘catfights’.

    Any woman who feels she shouldn’t submit herself, I think should also not feeding those men by complying to patriarchal rules. (not saying you do).
    I live in Europe, things aren’t the same here I guess but don’t mistake that with that we don’t have misogyny and women living up to that ideal.

    Why it now matters what others think of you, is because popularity is the new achievement
    (without any real achievements made). It sells.

    As little, very cute girl, my family and their friends, wanted me to accept that I smile sweetly, answer correctly in two words but when I asked a question I was laughed off. Basically, I was taught to be an ornament. I refused some parts and didn’t marry up and accepted other (good manners have helped me tremendously and does fit my social view as in treating all with initial respect.).

    One can say, I cut myself in the fingers. But I wanted to know, I wanted to learn and understand, I truly, deeply wanted to help and I couldn’t do that with what they were (not) telling me.

    Still now, men and women can’t understand why I’d rather be single than married to one who shuts me up, ties me down, decides my life.

    But that’s because my life is my responsibility and mine alone, given to me by a higher power. My family etc. would have me rather be an ornament than to help out, I wouldn’t have been able to have my child grow up to see him leaving poverty for a healthy, equal relationship and off to study.
    I’m not an ornament that feels entitled to whatever out of my ‘sheer beauty’.
    And so isn’t any of you that think for themselves.
    Don’t ever underestimate the power of women. Not even by other women, not by men. Women can enslave all men, we’re just that wise (or needy) that we choose not to.

    Good luck!

  40. Mama

    August 17, 2016 at 1:21 am

    Please she should loose weight. Forget what anybody else is saying. Forget finding husband. For herself. Too many diseases associated with obesity. Not to talk of the impact the weight has on your joints as you get older. And the older she gets the harder it will be so she should do it NOW! Leave what is politically correct and what isn’t. Obesity should not be an option. Too many things to kill us as it is. At least we have some control over our weight. Taje you are a beautiful girl. We all agree. Loose weight.

  41. Awiase

    August 17, 2016 at 3:43 am

    I believe people should make those choices themselves.If you want to be slimmer workout,do something and get slimmer.If you rather be big so be it.I am against body shaming whether thin or big cos it’s his/her body and body shaming I realized is more common among we Africans than the ‘whites’.Dear family members and loved ones leave us alone,it’s our bodies.At times I think you have to speak up.Me for instance I was bold enough to ask two of my loud mouth sister in laws to leave me alone and stop body shaming me why? Because I lost all but gained 4 pounds with first pregnancy and lost it all with my second so am ‘suffering’,look hideous,unwell and they made fun of me when they saw me even embarrassing me at times because am married,have kids and still the same.I found the right time good them what most Africans can’t say to their sister in laws that I didn’t like or appreciate what they did and that I like how I look like.Guess what?Now they don’t even cough when my weight fluctuates and I like that.They definitely gossip behind my back and that’s where I want them to be.At times speak up or stand up to those body shaming you,if they can’t stand your thin or big body it’s their problem and should deal with it.

  42. sante

    August 17, 2016 at 4:51 am

    A great article and well articulated.The author is on point.Ladies be happy in your skin never another person’s insecurities mess with your inner peace and happiness.Im on a diet because I want to tone some areas on my body and lose in other areas.While im on this journey i will continue looking fabulous ……

  43. hezekina pollutina

    August 17, 2016 at 6:24 am

    taje, like many have said, you are very attractive/pretty – that is acknowledged. i don’t know if you are aware how the body changes as it ages but take from me, as you get older, it will be harder to control and there will come also muscle aches, back pains etc, and that is for average weight people. you dont want to suffer additionally by carrying extra weight. i would only advise you to take up some kind of sport/exercise practice that you can commit to – yoga is lovely and quite relaxing. exercise and check in with your body regularly, then i think whatever size you end up, is fine. in addition i would suggest you control the amount of snacks and sweets you in take if you are doing so. i would give that advise to anybody…i am not a size queen, i believe there are some sizes that are super unhealthy and totally unnecessary…if u do some regular exercise and reduce snacks/sugar in take, then you would not be tipping into the unhealthy category…

  44. Splashhh

    August 17, 2016 at 7:26 am

    Thanks for this writeup,*thumbsup*

  45. Mimi

    August 17, 2016 at 7:53 am

    *look straight in a body con dress’ u just body-shamed slim girls taje! U should be ashamed of urself and next time practice what u preach!

  46. TOSIN

    August 17, 2016 at 9:27 am

    its the same even with “‘skinny”” people too…..its either you are too skinny,and they say eat good food and add some weight,or you are too fat,do exercise and shed out some flesh…STOP THE BODY SHAMING!!!! its annoying.
    i have let go of some friends cuz of these same crap,friends who are suppose to encourage one are the ones body shaming , like they are any better.? either they say it jokingly or behind your back,it isnt just fair projecting your insecurities to someone else .
    lets all learn how to love ourselves first then we project this same love to people around us not hating at every given opportunity.
    kilode.

  47. Ayaba

    August 17, 2016 at 9:29 am

    Am 27 and a size 0 trust me ive bin like dat for the past 15 years,ive been weighing the same thing for that 15years too, will I kill myself no, do I envy others no, I have a specialized tailor that slimfits my cloths, I still exercise ontop that cos am all about being healthy not fat nor slim. Life is beautiful and there are millons of things to worry about, I have a job, run 2 businesses,have a fantastic family and a bright future am working on and am also very pretty by the way,d amount of guys I have chasing me ontop my size 0 sef, I just always wondered hw many I wld hv if I was a 8. End point is there r far more imp tins to focus on than weight loss or gain, but maybe that’s wat some people’s battle is, so let me not judge their battle

    • Bodunade

      August 17, 2016 at 1:14 pm

      Good points. You made sense but bragging about how many guys are chasing you is so kindergarten.
      Men chase everything in skirts. All the time. It means nothing. Please brag about something else biko

  48. e pain you

    August 17, 2016 at 10:48 am

    E pain you dats y you wrote about it!

    Erm forget it, slim girls everyday all day!
    Make she con add small yansh, chai- shes everything!
    why?

    1. I cannot go out with a girl looking like my great grand mother.
    2. Sex with a slim girl is heaven on earth.
    3 Anywhere is possible- on one chair, inside the car, inside the bath tube….
    4. Every position on earth is achievable with a slim girl
    5. slim girls are hot and sexy
    6. slim girls are confident of themselves, no complex of any sort. They dont need to write epistles like this cos they are “everything” Na those with complexities write epistles to justify shit
    7. slim girls are gate way to everything, including…..
    8. in this life and hereafter (if there is anything like that) i choose slim girls [with yansh]

  49. Miss Elejo wewe

    August 17, 2016 at 12:05 pm

    But Ms Prest….You body shamed in this article as well – ” I’d rather my dress fit with my curves sitting right than look straight as a ruler in a bodycon dress.”

    All these opinions…..

  50. Person

    August 17, 2016 at 12:08 pm

    Eat clean, train hard. It is that simple. Your body is a reflection of what you put into it. Unless you have a diagnosed medical condition, everything else, na wash.

  51. wendy

    August 17, 2016 at 1:18 pm

    At the end of the day. Nobody is happy to be overweight…..

  52. Anon

    August 17, 2016 at 1:27 pm

    “Every plus size person is fully aware that they are big, they aren’t blind, they see themselves in the mirror every day.” Minus the body shaming comment, this needs to be drummed in. We have mirrors.

  53. U.S.A

    August 17, 2016 at 2:52 pm

    Do you people want her to look slim like BuBuu? Of course she can’t. Is she fat? No she’s not fat rather she is becoming a bit muscling maybe as a result of too much sports to keep fit, looking at her hand and hips…Nice outfit but not made for her type of shape, please get a guy that has a dressing sense code as your man so to help you.Please don’t go with the praise singers because even when you are walking stack naked they will still praise you.

  54. James Attah

    August 17, 2016 at 9:07 pm

    Fat is not good and has more disadvantages than advantages. The whites appear more conscious abt weight related problems tha

  55. tinasculpture

    October 22, 2016 at 9:57 pm

    i feel u girl i use to hv weigth issues until i grew my self esteem and started loving myself more.its funny my coursemate is like size 0 and people always criticise her for being too skinny and i for being too fat.

  56. Daphne

    February 16, 2017 at 1:34 pm

    You look fabulous. I live in Malaysia and here, if you’re bigger than a British size 8/US size 4, you’re considered chubby. I’ve been British size 12 most of my life and am now 14/16. As you can imagine I have heard in all in the fat-shaming department, but I think it’s time to stop caring what people I don’t care about think about me. I’ll be moving to Lagos soon. Thanks for the warning. Hopefully, as I’m foreign (Malaysian-Chinese), people won’t be as forthcoming with personal remarks! 😉

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